| Corny Joke Warning 16:56 - Aug 29 with 822417 views | Boston |
What vehicle do electricians prefer to drive?
A Volts Wagon. |  |
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| Corny Joke Warning on 19:15 - Apr 5 with 6477 views | Esox_Lucius |
Most people can tell you where the Big Apple is but not many know where the Minneapolis. [Post edited 18 Apr 10:49]
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| The grass is always greener. |
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| Corny Joke Warning on 12:59 - Apr 8 with 6248 views | Toast_R |
I paid a carpenter upfront to make me a double bed. He's only gone and done a bunk. |  | | |
| Corny Joke Warning on 20:58 - Apr 16 with 5918 views | hantssi |
Did you know that Nelson was only 5’ tall but his statue on Nelson’s Column is 15’ tall?
That’s Horatio of 3:1! | | | |
| Corny Joke Warning on 21:57 - Apr 16 with 5829 views | Boston |
| Corny Joke Warning on 12:59 - Apr 8 by Toast_R |
I paid a carpenter upfront to make me a double bed. He's only gone and done a bunk. |
Trundled away with it. | |
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| Corny Joke Warning on 22:59 - Apr 16 with 5763 views | Boston |
Ever notice that when a Clown goes to court, he usually gets done for manslaughter? | |
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| Corny Joke Warning on 23:04 - Apr 16 with 5760 views | Boston |
Me: I'm not saying a word until my solicitors present.
Copper: But you are a solicitor.
Me: Yeah, so where's my present? | |
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| Corny Joke Warning on 19:17 - Apr 17 with 5578 views | Boston |
Prosecution: Did you kill that man?
Me: No.
Prosecution: Are you aware of the penalty for perjury?
Me: A lot less than murder. | |
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| Corny Joke Warning on 10:50 - Apr 18 with 5394 views | Esox_Lucius |
A bride on her wedding night says to her husband 'I must confess darling, I used to be a hooker!'.
He says 'that's alright. Your past is your past, I must admit i find it quite erotic. Tell me about it'.
She replies 'well my name was Dave, and I played for Widnes" | |
| The grass is always greener. |
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| Corny Joke Warning on 14:52 - Apr 18 with 5258 views | Boston |
| Corny Joke Warning on 10:50 - Apr 18 by Esox_Lucius |
A bride on her wedding night says to her husband 'I must confess darling, I used to be a hooker!'.
He says 'that's alright. Your past is your past, I must admit i find it quite erotic. Tell me about it'.
She replies 'well my name was Dave, and I played for Widnes" |
Always a blinder😀 | |
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| Corny Joke Warning on 15:26 - Apr 21 with 4951 views | Boston |
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| Corny Joke Warning on 20:04 - Apr 25 with 4666 views | Sonofpugwash |
Men, if you close your eyes and hold a kiwi fruit in one hand, and a testicle in your other hand, it's almost impossible to tell the difference.
Also gets you banned from Sainsbury's. |  |
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| Corny Joke Warning on 14:30 - Apr 26 with 4513 views | Toast_R |
How does a non-binary person kill someone?
They slash Them | | | |
| Corny Joke Warning on 18:34 - Apr 26 with 4398 views | DavieQPR |
To me there are three types of chromosomes :
XX Female
XY Male
YYY Delilah |  | | |
| Corny Joke Warning on 21:52 - Apr 28 with 4309 views | CamberleyR |
The pop star Enya has just bought a rugby team. Their next three fixtures are:
Sale (A)
Sale (A)
Sale (A) [Post edited 28 Apr 22:49]
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| Corny Joke Warning on 01:43 - Apr 29 with 4201 views | Boston |
I was sitting in a bar a couple of years ago when the most perfect '10' you ever saw, pulled up a stool and sat beside me.
She started chatting me up, I was spellbound.
It was getting out of control, she was all over me when...
..she took my hand, pulled it under her mini skirt and asked if I'd ever felt such a perfect chunt?
Honestly, not since I missed that 89th minute penalty... | |
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| Corny Joke Warning on 12:41 - Apr 29 with 4132 views | johann28 |
Three footy fans in a pub. One of them notices a large fish tank with an enormous piranha in a it plus a £50 note. 'What's all this?' asks the fan 'Oh, it's a challenge', says the landlord, 'if you can get the £50 out without losing any fingers, it's yours'.
Well, they've all had a few by then, and are well up for it. The first fan, Liverpool guy, bit of a reckless idiot at the best of times, says 'piece of cake', and makes a dash for it - he loses a finger and goes off in some distress saying he was lured into it. Second fan, Qpr guy, equally reckless but smart Alec (stock), bides his time, waits til the fish isn't looking, then plunges his hand in, loses two fingers. Goes off weeping and thinking about Tony Currie. Third one, Leeds guy, very confident, walks up, plunges in his hand, picks out the note with nonchalant ease.
Landlord is amazed, 'how on earth did you do that?' He suspects foul play. 'Let's see that hand.' Leeds guy shows him his hand, on which is written 'Leeds United, Champions of Europe'. 'Oh that explains it' says the landlord, 'even a fkg giant piranha is never going to swallow that sh*t'. [Post edited 29 Apr 12:42]
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| Corny Joke Warning on 16:14 - Apr 29 with 4017 views | Toast_R |
What the difference between a Porcupine and a BMW?
A Porcupine has it's pricks on the outside. | | | |
| Corny Joke Warning on 17:50 - May 12 with 3627 views | Boston |
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| Corny Joke Warning on 18:36 - May 12 with 3594 views | Boston |
Why do Boston Police use their blue lights so often?
Because Boston drivers don't stop for red ones. | |
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| Corny Joke Warning on 18:45 - May 12 with 3564 views | hantssi |
My local beach down here (Southsea) has been awarded a Brown Flag (true!), I used to swim there quite a lot until I realised that I was just going through the motions! | | | |
| Corny Joke Warning on 22:02 - May 13 with 3337 views | Boston |
Hannibal Lector invites his Mum over for dinner.
"Y'know Hannibal, I really don't like your friends".
"That's ok Mum, just eat the vegetables". | |
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| Corny Joke Warning on 23:19 - May 13 with 3290 views | Lblock |
"I've just seen your ex-girlfriend who had the massive knockers --- she lives over near Heathrow airport now, near the young Offenders place"
"Feltham?"
"No....not since you and her split up..!" |  |
| Cherish and enjoy life.... this ain't no dress rehearsal |
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| Corny Joke Warning on 00:18 - May 14 with 3260 views | Hooparoo |
🤣 [Post edited 14 May 0:19]
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| Corny Joke Warning on 14:25 - May 14 with 3098 views | Sonofpugwash |
Devon and Cornwall have cancelled their planned joint '60s & '70s retro music festival after a row over whether to put The Jam or Cream on first | |
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| Corny Joke Warning on 20:56 - May 15 with 2835 views | Sonofpugwash |
Apparently the breakfast on your last day at Dignitas is a bowl of Cheerios. | |
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