| Corny Joke Warning 16:56 - Aug 29 with 805290 views | Boston |
What vehicle do electricians prefer to drive?
A Volts Wagon. |  |
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| Corny Joke Warning on 15:44 - Jan 21 with 7327 views | Sonofpugwash |
My son knows nothing about gardening.
I guess the apple doesn't fall far from the palm tree. |  |
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| Corny Joke Warning on 16:04 - Jan 21 with 7296 views | DavieQPR |
I have no trouble sleeping. In fact I could do it with my eyes shut. |  | | |
| Corny Joke Warning on 16:08 - Jan 21 with 7282 views | Boston |
Farmer rushes over to his neighbour and starts banging on the door.
Young Eddie opens it and asks what he wants.
I want to speak to your dad.
Sorry he's in town.
Then I want to speak to your mother.
She's in town as well.
Is your older brother home, I'll speak with him then.
He went to town with them. Is there anything I can do to help?
I need to speak to someone about your brother getting my daughter pregnant.
Well sir, replies young Eddie, I know dad gets 300 quid for the bull, forty pounds for the boar but I've no idea what he'll want for Bobby. | |
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| Corny Joke Warning on 20:09 - Jan 26 with 7010 views | Sonofpugwash |
In hospital tonight I walked past a ward where all the patients were avidly reciting Scottish poetry.
I think it must have been the Serious Burns unit. | |
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| Corny Joke Warning on 20:02 - Jan 29 with 6709 views | Sonofpugwash |
Why did the Vegan cross the road?
To tell perfect strangers that he was a Vegan. | |
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| Corny Joke Warning on 19:40 - Feb 4 with 6270 views | loftboy |
I went on a tour of HMS Victory. There was a brass plaque on a wooden block on the deck that said:" This is where Nelson fell." I'm not surprised I nearly tripped over it myself. |  |
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| Corny Joke Warning on 21:04 - Feb 4 with 6209 views | Sonofpugwash |
Weirdest thing happened at the bakery this morning.
A pie fell off the shelf, then another and another.
They were lemming meringue pies. | |
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| Corny Joke Warning on 17:53 - Feb 7 with 5989 views | 81A |
Went to see a Greek Eagles tribute act the other day. They played their hit song "Hotel Kefalonia" | | | |
| Corny Joke Warning on 11:03 - Feb 9 with 5753 views | Sonofpugwash |
Just come back from Asda. There was a group of teenagers outside like "excuse me Mr will you get us 20 Richmond, please, they wont serve us!" So I agreed to do it anyway, thinking thats my good deed done for the day.
Anyway Ive gone in and got them and when I handed them over they started effing and blinding at me! If that’s what good deeds get you with the young folk of today, They can get their own feckin sausages next time!! | |
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| Corny Joke Warning on 11:08 - Feb 9 with 5735 views | Esox_Lucius |
I dropped in to my local travel agent to book one of those 3 week Viking Cruises. £1500 and not a single stop for rape and pillaging along the way! I'm keeping my money. [Post edited 9 Feb 21:41]
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| The grass is always greener. |
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| Corny Joke Warning on 17:52 - Feb 11 with 5547 views | Esox_Lucius |
My wife just brought a kitten back from the rescue centre. We are going to call it Globe as it means the world to us. | |
| The grass is always greener. |
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| Corny Joke Warning on 18:44 - Feb 11 with 5493 views | Boston |
| Corny Joke Warning on 17:52 - Feb 11 by Esox_Lucius |
My wife just brought a kitten back from the rescue centre. We are going to call it Globe as it means the world to us. |
Make sure you feed it right..mice crispies. | |
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| Corny Joke Warning on 20:23 - Feb 11 with 5444 views | HantsR |
| Corny Joke Warning on 18:44 - Feb 11 by Boston |
Make sure you feed it right..mice crispies. |
...and treat it gently, just light mousework |  | | |
| Corny Joke Warning on 19:05 - Feb 12 with 5305 views | qprphil |
Looking for some advice. How many roses should I give my wife on Valentines Day,? 6, 12, or 24.? Or should I give her the whole tin.? | | | |
| Corny Joke Warning on 20:52 - Feb 12 with 5227 views | Lblock |
| Corny Joke Warning on 19:05 - Feb 12 by qprphil |
Looking for some advice. How many roses should I give my wife on Valentines Day,? 6, 12, or 24.? Or should I give her the whole tin.? |
Give her one
Who says romance is dead? |  |
| Cherish and enjoy life.... this ain't no dress rehearsal |
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| Corny Joke Warning on 17:45 - Feb 13 with 4998 views | Sonofpugwash |
A man was shot with a starting pistol this afternoon.
Police say it might be race related. | |
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| Corny Joke Warning on 20:05 - Feb 16 with 4798 views | Dorse |
'Holmes! We have a case! It appears that Professor Fortesque-Smythe has been murdered by way of having 400 citrus fruits inserted into his corybungus. What do you think, Holmes? Can you solve it?'
'Indubitably. It's Lemon-Entry, my dear Watson...' |  |
| 'What do we want? We don't know! When do we want it? Now!' |
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| Corny Joke Warning on 20:30 - Feb 16 with 4765 views | Sonofpugwash |
I've just landed a date with a lady who identifies as a wheelie bin.
Not sure whether I'm taking her out on Wednesday or Thursday. | |
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| Corny Joke Warning on 19:35 - Feb 19 with 4572 views | Boston |
As my father told me.....
Money might not buy happiness,
But, poverty can't buy anything. | |
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| Corny Joke Warning on 19:50 - Feb 19 with 4536 views | Rebalhoop |
I don’t know many jokes about Motown,only 2 or 3…….Four Tops | | | |
| Corny Joke Warning on 03:02 - Feb 21 with 4253 views | rbee |
What do you call a lazy doctor?
Doctor Dolittle |  | | |
| Corny Joke Warning on 17:18 - Feb 21 with 4083 views | Esox_Lucius |
RSPCA: What the hell did you think you were doing releasing all those birds at your wedding?
My wife: But it is such a romantic thing to do.
RSPCA: Not when it is Ostriches. | |
| The grass is always greener. |
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| Corny Joke Warning on 17:50 - Feb 22 with 3902 views | Sonofpugwash |
I love face painting but apparently you have to ask the subject's permission before you do it. | |
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| Corny Joke Warning on 15:54 - Feb 24 with 3650 views | rbee |
How many corners do QPR need to actually score from one? | | | |
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