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Corny Joke Warning 16:56 - Aug 29 with 805321 viewsBoston

What vehicle do electricians prefer to drive?

A Volts Wagon.

Poll: Thank God The Seaons Over.

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Corny Joke Warning on 21:00 - Oct 2 with 6073 viewsLblock

Managed to snare me a date with some hot woman but she identifies as a wheelie bin

I can't remember if I'm taking her out on a Tuesday or a Wednesday









(I know.... it'll be a rubbish night)
[Post edited 31 Oct 2023 21:00]

Cherish and enjoy life.... this ain't no dress rehearsal

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Corny Joke Warning on 09:28 - Oct 11 with 5830 viewsjohann28

I left two tickets for the next home game v Leicester on the dashboard of my car when out shopping yesterday - returned to find the window smashed, and two more added.
3
Corny Joke Warning on 18:55 - Oct 11 with 5662 viewshantssi

Just got home from the doctors, my wife asked me how I got on.
Great I told her, I’ve had a diagnosis and been given a prescription for daily sex, and handed her the paper smiling.
She took one look and said, it’s “Dyslexia” you dick!
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Corny Joke Warning on 08:42 - Oct 16 with 5468 viewshantssi

“I think My wife is putting glue on all my antique weapons…..She denies it but I’m sticking to my guns”
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Corny Joke Warning on 14:48 - Oct 16 with 5360 viewsjohncharles

Using my new extra sensitive razor today. When I cut myself it burst into tears.

Strong and stable my arse.

3
Corny Joke Warning on 14:51 - Oct 16 with 5358 viewsSonofpugwash

As I was getting into bed she said.."You're drunk"
"How do you know?" I said.
"You live next door" she said.

Poll: Dykes - love him or hate him?

3
Corny Joke Warning on 15:00 - Oct 16 with 5345 viewsBoston

In the spirit of the original post...


What vehicle do shepherds prefer to drive?

Lamborghinis.

Poll: Thank God The Seaons Over.

1
Corny Joke Warning on 15:47 - Oct 16 with 5296 viewshantssi

My wife is leaving me because of my obsession with 70s American comedy shows.

Happy Days.
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Corny Joke Warning on 00:18 - Oct 17 with 5170 viewsNewBee

Corny Joke Warning on 15:00 - Oct 16 by Boston

In the spirit of the original post...


What vehicle do shepherds prefer to drive?

Lamborghinis.


Lamborgini MyEweRa?

P.S. Could have put an "m" on the end, but nah, my original effort was baaad enough.

I'll get my sheepskin...
[Post edited 17 Oct 2023 0:19]
0
Corny Joke Warning on 16:18 - Oct 17 with 4977 viewsSonofpugwash

To the person who stole my camouflage jacket and trainers....
you can hide but you can't run.

Poll: Dykes - love him or hate him?

2
Corny Joke Warning on 20:23 - Oct 17 with 4909 viewsBoston

When you buy a Tesla, it doesn't come with that new car smell.

It does have an Elon Musk though.

Poll: Thank God The Seaons Over.

0
Corny Joke Warning on 20:24 - Oct 17 with 4908 viewsBoston

What car does Jesus drive?

A Christler.

Poll: Thank God The Seaons Over.

0
Corny Joke Warning on 00:02 - Oct 18 with 4835 viewsloftboy

I have a half brother

“Different mother “ ?

No, shark attack!

favourite cheese mature Cheddar. FFS there is no such thing as the EPL
Poll: Are you watching the World Cup

2
Corny Joke Warning on 09:56 - Oct 18 with 4748 viewshubble

What do you call a messiah with nice eyebrows?

Tweezers Christ.

Poll: Who is your player of the season?

3
Corny Joke Warning on 17:12 - Oct 19 with 4618 viewsloftboy

Twelve priests were about to be ordained. The final test was
for them to line up in a straight row, totally nude, in a garden
while a sexy, beautiful, big breasted, nude model danced before them.

Each priest had a small bell attached to his weenie and they
were told that anyone whose bell rang when she danced in front of them
would not be ordained because he had not reached a state of spiritual purity.

The beautiful model danced before the first candidate, with
no reaction.

She proceeded down the line with the same response from all
the priests until she got to the final priest, Carlos.

Poor Carlos. As she danced, his bell began to ring so loudly
that it flew off, clattering across the ground and laid to rest in
nearby foliage.

Embarrassed, Carlos quickly scrambled to where the bell came
to rest and bent over to pick it up

That's when all the other bells started to ring....

favourite cheese mature Cheddar. FFS there is no such thing as the EPL
Poll: Are you watching the World Cup

7
Corny Joke Warning on 07:29 - Oct 20 with 4529 viewsRebalhoop

Who came up with the expression one hit wonder,?
Did they come up with any more……?
1
Corny Joke Warning on 19:34 - Oct 20 with 4453 viewsBlackCrowe

My dog's learning to speak a foreign language
"Español?"
No, he's a labrador

Poll: Kitchen threads or polls?

3
Corny Joke Warning on 23:22 - Oct 20 with 4392 viewsGaryT

Corny Joke Warning on 16:18 - Oct 17 by Sonofpugwash

To the person who stole my camouflage jacket and trainers....
you can hide but you can't run.


Pretty certain the thief was in a wheelchair or on crutches...sorry pugs.
0
Corny Joke Warning on 20:51 - Oct 31 with 4120 viewsRebalhoop

There’s one thing I hate about Halloween,which is……
1
Corny Joke Warning on 21:03 - Oct 31 with 4092 viewsLblock

Corny Joke Warning on 16:18 - Oct 17 by Sonofpugwash

To the person who stole my camouflage jacket and trainers....
you can hide but you can't run.


I came second in a camouflage competition once.........

They couldn't find a winner

Cherish and enjoy life.... this ain't no dress rehearsal

2
Corny Joke Warning on 21:33 - Oct 31 with 4052 viewsloftboy

5 ants rented a flat with another 5 ants, now they’re tenants!

favourite cheese mature Cheddar. FFS there is no such thing as the EPL
Poll: Are you watching the World Cup

1
Corny Joke Warning on 10:12 - Nov 10 with 3752 viewsRebalhoop

Help…my mates got a quality street stuck in his throat

The big purple one?

Yes,that’s him….
6
Corny Joke Warning on 10:06 - Nov 11 with 3560 viewsloftboy

Do you know why Billy Joels clothes are wet?


He didn’t start the dryer

favourite cheese mature Cheddar. FFS there is no such thing as the EPL
Poll: Are you watching the World Cup

1
Corny Joke Warning on 13:45 - Nov 11 with 3478 viewsDesertBoot

“I had a blood test this morning”.
“Fast?”
“Yes I was in and out in ten minutes”.

Wish I could be like David Watts

1
Corny Joke Warning on 18:53 - Nov 16 with 3254 viewsEsox_Lucius

I accidentally drank a bottle of invisible ink and now I am in A&E waiting to be seen.

The grass is always greener.

1
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