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Corny Joke Warning 16:56 - Aug 29 with 866095 viewsBoston

What vehicle do electricians prefer to drive?

A Volts Wagon.

Poll: Thank God The Seaons Over.

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Corny Joke Warning on 08:27 - Feb 23 with 8303 viewsozranger

I got an e-mail that tells me how to read maps backwards..

It was spam.
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Corny Joke Warning on 11:05 - Feb 28 with 7996 viewsEsox_Lucius

Corny Joke Warning on 08:27 - Feb 23 by ozranger

I got an e-mail that tells me how to read maps backwards..

It was spam.


I just got my DNA heritage results back and I discovered that I am 60% Eskimo... I knew it!

The grass is always greener.

4
Corny Joke Warning on 20:28 - Mar 5 with 7623 viewsSonofpugwash

My old Auntie Glad used to say "40 is the new 30"
Lovely woman but banned from driving now.

Poll: Dykes - love him or hate him?

1
Corny Joke Warning on 23:15 - Mar 5 with 7524 viewswesty

Two parrots sat on a perch.
One says phwoor can you smell fish
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Corny Joke Warning on 23:23 - Mar 5 with 7520 viewswesty

Two pissed tramps at the side of the road one is bent over on all fours and the other is behind him sticking his fingers up his arris. The police pull up and ask them what the hell are they doing. The tramp behind says it’s ok occifer I’m trying to make him sick. That’ll never work said the copper. The tramp replied it will when I stick them in his f ing mouth
2
Corny Joke Warning on 00:45 - Mar 6 with 7484 viewsBoston

King Charles is over in Sligo on a fishing holiday.

Starts to rain heavily, so his party decide to retire to a local pub.

Walking through the car park he spots an older gent with rod and reel dangling his lure into a puddle, so enquires what the gent is up to.

"Fishing", replies the man.

Poor old bugger thinks his highness, so invites him inside for a pint.

After a couple of relaxing sups, Charlie returns to the fishing question and asks how many had he caught that day?

"You're the eighth" replies Seamus.

Poll: Thank God The Seaons Over.

2
Corny Joke Warning on 00:58 - Mar 6 with 7470 viewsBoston

What's the most hated month in the military?


March.

Poll: Thank God The Seaons Over.

1
Corny Joke Warning on 01:42 - Mar 6 with 7446 viewsBoston


Poll: Thank God The Seaons Over.

2
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Corny Joke Warning on 09:43 - Mar 6 with 7333 viewsSonofpugwash

Haven't seen my twin brother since I left Australia decades ago.
We were separated at Perth.

Poll: Dykes - love him or hate him?

4
Corny Joke Warning on 14:50 - Mar 21 with 6891 viewsqprphil

I met a magical fairy yesterday, she said she would grant me one wish.
I said, " I wish to live forever."
"Sorry," said the fairy" that's the only wish I'm not allowed to grant you."
"Fine," I said, "then I want to die the day after Parliament is filled with honest, hard working bipartisan men and women who act only on the peoples best interests!!!!!!"
" You're a crafty little bastard," replied the fairy.
4
Corny Joke Warning on 14:39 - Mar 22 with 6726 viewsqprphil

Paddy says to Murphy, " have you seen the news?" 3 Cliff Walkers have fallen to their deaths!!!!"
"Unbelievable," said Murphy, " I can't believe they all had the same name!"
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Corny Joke Warning on 16:30 - Mar 22 with 6640 viewsNewBee

Corny Joke Warning on 09:43 - Mar 6 by Sonofpugwash

Haven't seen my twin brother since I left Australia decades ago.
We were separated at Perth.


Was he the funny twin?

You know, separated at mirth...
1
Corny Joke Warning on 09:27 - Mar 23 with 6365 viewsDorse

Police officers pull over two priests in a car. They wind down the window and ask if everything is alright.
'We're looking for two child molesters', say the police. The two priests turn to each other and begin a swift muttered conversation. Eventually, they come to decision.
'Alright. We'll do it!'

'What do we want? We don't know! When do we want it? Now!'

7
Corny Joke Warning on 01:08 - Mar 24 with 6103 viewsBoston

What d'ya call a QPR player at a cup match?


Spectator.

Poll: Thank God The Seaons Over.

1
Corny Joke Warning on 01:11 - Mar 24 with 6099 viewsBoston

Why does Humpty Dumpty like autumn?


He had a great fall.

Poll: Thank God The Seaons Over.

2
Corny Joke Warning on 06:45 - Mar 24 with 6019 viewsnumptydumpty

Corny Joke Warning on 01:11 - Mar 24 by Boston

Why does Humpty Dumpty like autumn?


He had a great fall.


Touché Boston

On similar lines, a football team known as QPR often experience Great Falls themselves !!!

Walking in a "Mackie Wonderland"
Poll: Where will we finish next season ???

0
Corny Joke Warning on 19:54 - Mar 24 with 5827 viewsSonofpugwash

Neil Diamond started out his career as Neil Coal.
That was before the pressure got to him of course.

Poll: Dykes - love him or hate him?

6
Corny Joke Warning on 10:22 - Mar 27 with 5576 viewsEsox_Lucius

I was driving across a suspension bridge when all of a sudden ...

The grass is always greener.

4
Corny Joke Warning on 20:19 - Mar 31 with 5324 viewsSonofpugwash

Just won an Ebay auction for some carved oak broomsticks.
Got them for a quid each.

Poll: Dykes - love him or hate him?

4
Corny Joke Warning on 09:20 - Apr 1 with 5171 viewsEsox_Lucius

Aldi have a special Humpty Dumpty toy offer, it comes with Aldi Kings Horses and Aldi Kings men for £9.99.

The grass is always greener.

2
Corny Joke Warning on 10:08 - Apr 2 with 5049 viewsEsox_Lucius

So I said to this fella, "I bet you'd like to see where Dick Turpin lived?"
He said: "Sure would".
I said: "No, that's Robin Hood"….

The grass is always greener.

2
Corny Joke Warning on 14:07 - Apr 3 with 4892 viewsSonofpugwash

My friend was at a pub quiz and phoned me.
"What's the 2nd biggest state in the USA?"
I said "Texas."
He rang off and next minute I got a text from him;'What's the 2nd biggest state in USA?'

Poll: Dykes - love him or hate him?

2
Corny Joke Warning on 17:30 - Apr 5 with 6916 viewsacricketer

Elvis was getting out of his swimming pool for the 10th time. Priscilla said, ‘What are you doing?’ He said, ‘I can’t help falling in, love.’
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Corny Joke Warning on 18:53 - Apr 5 with 6831 viewsqprphil

A man and a woman were traveling in a train. The woman said, " every time you smile I feel like inviting you to my place."
The man said, " awwwwwwww, are you single.?
" No" said the woman I'm a dentist."
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Corny Joke Warning on 10:13 - Apr 11 with 6515 viewsEsox_Lucius

Man goes in a pub, the barman said
“sorry we don’t serve drinks to exotic fruit”.

The grass is always greener.

5
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