| Corny Joke Warning 16:56 - Aug 29 with 805316 views | Boston |
What vehicle do electricians prefer to drive?
A Volts Wagon. |  |
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| Corny Joke Warning on 13:56 - Mar 20 with 8183 views | BlackCrowe |
I recently visited my GP as I was addicted to playing board games.
"What games?" he asked.
"I played Monopoly for 5 straight days, Cluedo for 9 days, Draughts, Scrabble, Risk, I'll play anything Doc, I'm addicted to all of them."
"Any Chess?"
"No, I'm with BUPA!" |  |
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| Corny Joke Warning on 10:44 - Mar 22 with 8050 views | Esox_Lucius |
When do the Dalek kids go back to school?
Next term at 8. |  |
| The grass is always greener. |
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| Corny Joke Warning on 14:03 - Mar 23 with 7917 views | Esox_Lucius |
Q. Why did the art thief’s van run out of fuel as he drove away from the museum?
A. Because he had no Monet to buy Degas to make the Van Gogh. | |
| The grass is always greener. |
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| Corny Joke Warning on 16:53 - Mar 24 with 7776 views | qprphil |
We should train all Amazon drivers to give the vaccine. The whole population would be immunised by Saturday, Thursday if you have Prime....... | | | |
| Corny Joke Warning on 16:56 - Mar 24 with 7771 views | qprphil |
Being a little older I'm very fortunate to have someone check on me everyday. He is from India, and he's very concerned about my car warranty. | | | |
| Corny Joke Warning on 16:59 - Mar 24 with 7763 views | qprphil |
They say we can now have gatherings of up to eight people without any issues. I don't know eight people without issues. | | | |
| Corny Joke Warning on 12:32 - Mar 25 with 7629 views | Esox_Lucius |
It's being reported that Elon Musk and Bill Gates are planning a joint venture but are struggling to think of a shorter name. | |
| The grass is always greener. |
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| Corny Joke Warning on 13:51 - Mar 27 with 7499 views | Esox_Lucius |
The large pane of glass fell out of my front window and smashed, I called a glazier and he replaced it. Two days later the glass fell out again so I called the glazier back. While he was replacing the glass again I asked him why my glass keeps falling out he said “it's quite common around here it’s down to an animal going round eating the linseed oil in the bonding that holds the glass in place”,
I said “an animal? what kind of animal?”
He said “it's a cat, a putty cat” | |
| The grass is always greener. |
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| Corny Joke Warning on 22:00 - Mar 27 with 7395 views | Boston |
Frank Sinatra saved my life once
"Ok boys, he's had enough". | |
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| Corny Joke Warning on 22:10 - Mar 27 with 7379 views | qpr_1968 |
this lock downs getting boring now.
i started having a crap at 11.55 last night and finished it at 5 minutes past midnight.
same shit , different day. | |
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| Corny Joke Warning on 18:50 - Mar 29 with 7225 views | dontknowitall |
Man hospitalised with golf ball lodged in his rear end.
His wife said, " It's gone up a fairway"... |  | | |
| Corny Joke Warning on 13:00 - Mar 31 with 7040 views | Esox_Lucius |
I was feeling run down so I went to the doctors. She did some tests and said "you have no Magnesium in your body"
0Mg I said. | |
| The grass is always greener. |
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| Corny Joke Warning on 01:21 - Apr 1 with 6948 views | Dorse |
I always thought the alphabet only had 25 letters. Dunno why. |  |
| 'What do we want? We don't know! When do we want it? Now!' |
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| Corny Joke Warning on 14:55 - Apr 1 with 6862 views | Boston |
My neighbour was asking me about the division in British society. Division I said, they’ve got issues with addition and subtraction and don’t get me going on multiplication! | |
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| Corny Joke Warning on 10:54 - Apr 2 with 6752 views | qprphil |
Paddy was walking home late one night through the woods, when out of the shadows appeared a woman who said, "£30. Paddy had never been with a prostitute before but thought what the hell I won't miss £30. So they went into the bushes and they were madly making love when all of a sudden a light flashes on them. " It's the police, what's going on then people?" ask's the cop. " I'm making love to me wife, " says Paddy sounding annoyed.
"Oh I'm sorry" says the cop "I didn't know, well neither did I until you shined that bloody light on her face." | | | |
| Corny Joke Warning on 10:59 - Apr 2 with 6744 views | johann28 |
It suddenly dawned on me why so many companies start playing Vivaldi's Four Seasons when you ring them. It's because it takes them a fk g year to answer! |  | | |
| Corny Joke Warning on 13:56 - Apr 2 with 6679 views | horshamHoop |
Apparently.. Dire Straits have loads of Easter decorations this year..
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I heard they got their bunnies for nothing and their chicks for free. | | | |
| Corny Joke Warning on 14:28 - Apr 4 with 6503 views | Boston |
Do you know where you'd be without builders?
Outside. | |
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| Corny Joke Warning on 14:31 - Apr 4 with 6501 views | Boston |
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| Corny Joke Warning on 19:29 - Apr 4 with 6419 views | dontknowitall |
I just found a £20.00 note on the pavement outside the supermarket. Having picked it up i felt a bit guilty as it is Easter Sunday, and thought to myself 'What would Jesus do?'
So I turned it into wine... | | | |
| Corny Joke Warning on 11:54 - Apr 7 with 6239 views | Esox_Lucius |
Q. How much do American pirates pay for their earrings?
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A. A buck an ear. | |
| The grass is always greener. |
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| Corny Joke Warning on 12:53 - Apr 7 with 6213 views | Esox_Lucius |
Superman is taking an evening stroll past the church when the minister runs down the steps calling for his help.
"Superman, we need your help, a wall has collapsed in the basement, some workmen are trapped,"
"No way," said Superman, "I’m not going near the crypt tonight." | |
| The grass is always greener. |
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| Corny Joke Warning on 00:54 - Apr 8 with 6109 views | Myke |
I warned my colleagues in the staff room that I would not stop until I found out which one of them stole my copy of Microsoft Office - they have my Word | | | |
| Corny Joke Warning on 13:01 - Apr 8 with 6025 views | Esox_Lucius |
I got into a taxi yesterday & the driver asked "Do you mind if I put on some music?"
I said "Not at all"
He said "Kiss OK?"
I said "Let's start with the music and see how it goes eh? | |
| The grass is always greener. |
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| Corny Joke Warning on 14:36 - Apr 9 with 5881 views | Esox_Lucius |
Does anyone know if an AM radio will work at night? | |
| The grass is always greener. |
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