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Corny Joke Warning on 13:06 - Apr 16 by Esox_Lucius
A repair man from British Gas asked me the time this morning. I told him, "It is between 8am and 1pm"
I left British Gas and set up my own business. Imagine my excitement when I got a call from Buckingham Palace to do a job for Her Maj. Sadly, I got turned away as I wasn't Corgi approved.
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Corny Joke Warning on 14:57 - Aug 11 with 8580 views
The jury had just found a prisoner guilty as charged. “ Is there anything you wish to say before I pass sentence upon you? “ said the judge. The prisoner muttered under his breath “ F**k all “ The judge cupped his hand to his ear and said to the prisoner's counsel “ Did your client say something? “ The counsel replied “ My client said f**k all, My Lord “ “ Oh, “ the judge said, “ I thought he said something “
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Corny Joke Warning on 15:29 - Aug 11 with 8548 views
A farmer went out one morning to milk his cows, as he began to milk the first cow a fly began to fly around annoyingly and eventually flew inside the cows ear and disappeared. He carried on milking when suddenly the fly reappeared in the bucket, he smiled to himself and thought "Typical, it went in one ear and out the udder".
The grass is always greener.
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Corny Joke Warning on 20:37 - Aug 14 with 8329 views
*Breaking News* Firefighters rescued a girl that became trapped in a clothes dryer. She was reportedly unharmed other than being dizzy... and missing a sock.
The grass is always greener.
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Corny Joke Warning on 19:21 - Aug 26 with 7630 views
An escapee from a local psychiatric unit ran into a laundrette to rest whilst he was on the run. He saw the woman who owned the laundry giving him the eye, and it had been a long time since, so he had sex with her. As soon as he finished he ran off never to be seen again. The headline in the local paper that week read.. Nut screws washer and bolts.
The grass is always greener.
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Corny Joke Warning on 21:20 - Sep 7 with 7052 views
BB King suffered from depression as a young man. No NHS over there of course so his friends clubbed together to raise the money for him to see a doctor. “Hmm” The doctor said. “I think you've got the blues. That'll be a thousand dollars please.”
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Corny Joke Warning on 08:49 - Sep 10 with 6901 views
I went for a job at a fishmongers. The owner said I could have the job if I could name 3 fish beginning with 'K'. I said 'Killer shark, king haddock and Kilmarnock'. He said 'Kilmarnock?'. I said 'yes it’s a plaice in Scotland'....
The grass is always greener.
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Corny Joke Warning on 20:38 - Sep 22 with 6581 views
Corny Joke Warning on 08:50 - Sep 17 by Esox_Lucius
I went for a job at a fishmongers. The owner said I could have the job if I could name 3 fish beginning with 'K'. I said 'Killer shark, king haddock and Kilmarnock'. He said 'Kilmarnock?'. I said 'yes it’s a plaice in Scotland'....
"Killer shark" and "king haddock"? According to google neither of those even exists.
What's wrong with eg Mullet, Mackerel and Motherwell?
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Corny Joke Warning on 13:05 - Sep 23 with 6457 views
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