| Corny Joke Warning 16:56 - Aug 29 with 822532 views | Boston |
What vehicle do electricians prefer to drive?
A Volts Wagon. |  |
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| Corny Joke Warning on 19:10 - Oct 26 with 9602 views | Boston |
Know why B is the coolest letter in the alphabet?
It's beside an AC. | |
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| Corny Joke Warning on 00:04 - Oct 27 with 9523 views | CliveWilsonSaid |
Bad news for dyslexics this weekend.
Their cocks go black |  |
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| Corny Joke Warning on 19:04 - Oct 27 with 9391 views | welwynranger |
An American touring Britain. Finds himself in rural Ireland. He sees a lovely golf course. He goes to the club house and asked to play. Speak to Seamus they say and give him a business card. He rings Seamus who tells him he will be there at 9 or 930 tomorrow. Next morning at 9oclock Seamus tees off left handed hits it dead straight 250 yards , wins all 18 holes. The American says he didn't do himself justice today can we play again.
I will be here at 9 or 930 tomorrow. At 9oclock Seamus tees off right handed hits it dead straight 250 yards, wind all 18 holes.
The American said I have played all over the world against people of all standards, but I have never known anyone to play left and right handed.
Seamus said it is all down to my misses. When I wake up she is always asleep ,if she is lying on her left side I bring the left handed clubs if she is lying on her right side I bring the right handed clubs.
The American asks what if she is lying on her back. That's when I get here at 930 days Seamus | | | |
| Corny Joke Warning on 17:51 - Nov 2 with 9208 views | Esox_Lucius |
Has anyone else had trouble breaking up with a girlfriend who is an optician? Every time I tell mine that I can't see her any more she just moves closer and says "Is that better?" |  |
| The grass is always greener. |
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| Corny Joke Warning on 18:22 - Nov 2 with 9169 views | Boston |
Myself and Mrs Boston have been married 31 years. Recently she suggested it might be nice to spice things up and I should get some of those pills from the chemist.
Didn't work, she seemed unhappy when I brought home diet tablets. | |
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| Corny Joke Warning on 13:44 - Nov 3 with 9045 views | Esox_Lucius |
Police have arrested John Young for selling a substance that he claimed was the Elixir of immortality, they looked into his record & discovered he’d been arrested for the same offence in 2004, 1965, 1924 & 1864. | |
| The grass is always greener. |
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| Corny Joke Warning on 18:59 - Nov 3 with 8995 views | acricketer |
Therapist: Your wife says you never buy her flowers. Is that true?
Man: To be honest, I didn't know she sold flowers. | | | |
| Corny Joke Warning on 09:34 - Nov 12 with 8735 views | Esox_Lucius |
Once , in a Moscow hotel, I was stung by what I thought at the time, was a very shy wasp.
Although now, I suspect it was the cagey bee! | |
| The grass is always greener. |
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| Corny Joke Warning on 04:51 - Nov 13 with 8630 views | FredManRave |
| Corny Joke Warning on 18:59 - Nov 3 by acricketer |
Therapist: Your wife says you never buy her flowers. Is that true?
Man: To be honest, I didn't know she sold flowers. |
Somebody call the fire brigade. There's a cricketer on fire.
Smashing a 6 with every post.
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| Corny Joke Warning on 09:46 - Nov 13 with 8553 views | Mick_S |
What do you call a man with a rubber toe?
Roberto. |  |
| Did I ever mention that I was in Minder? |
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| Corny Joke Warning on 11:16 - Nov 13 with 8533 views | Esox_Lucius |
I met a Spaniard the other day who only ever wore rubber beach shoes; he said his name was Felipe Fillop | |
| The grass is always greener. |
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| Corny Joke Warning on 21:09 - Nov 18 with 8328 views | CiderwithRsie |
One that popped out of my memory today:
What do you call an Irishman with 11 pricks?
Danny Blanchflower
(You had to be around in 1979 to get it.) | | | |
| Corny Joke Warning on 22:51 - Nov 18 with 8275 views | Esox_Lucius |
| Corny Joke Warning on 21:09 - Nov 18 by CiderwithRsie |
One that popped out of my memory today:
What do you call an Irishman with 11 pricks?
Danny Blanchflower
(You had to be around in 1979 to get it.) |
In a similar vein; St. Peter informs Freddie Mercury he has accidentally been called 24 hours too early and as compensation he can go back to Earth for a day as anyone he wants.
Freddie demands that he be sent back as Erik Thorstvedt and St. Peter says "Erik Thorstvedt? the Spurs goalie? Why???"
Freddie says "I always fantasised about being crouched down behind 10 arseholes with 10,000 pricks behind me screaming my name out" | |
| The grass is always greener. |
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| Corny Joke Warning on 09:40 - Nov 20 with 8149 views | bosh67 |
When we row it often tends to be about Feargal Sharkey. Even when we're not rowing I always feel like there's some kind of undertone. |  |
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| Corny Joke Warning on 11:50 - Nov 20 with 8115 views | Phildo |
What is the difference between the Queens knickers and the clouds over Ascot?
Only one covers the Royal Hunt Cup |  | | |
| Corny Joke Warning on 00:09 - Nov 26 with 7953 views | Boston |
What did the Polar Bear eat after the dentist fixed his teeth?
The Dentist. | |
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| Corny Joke Warning on 05:56 - Nov 26 with 7925 views | loftboy |
What’s the difference between a poorly dressed man on a unicycle and a well dressed man on a bicycle?
Attire! |  |
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| Corny Joke Warning on 15:32 - Dec 1 with 7784 views | Esox_Lucius |
Three dinosaurs stumbled onto a genie lamp. The genie popped out and gave them three wishes.
First one said.. I want meat.
Second wanting to outdo the other said.. I want it to rain meat
Third one thought he was even smarter and asked for a meatier shower | |
| The grass is always greener. |
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| Corny Joke Warning on 15:47 - Dec 1 with 7775 views | BazzaInTheLoft |
A man is sat down at a Job Interview:
INTERVIEWER: What is your biggest weakness?
MAN: Honesty.
INTERVIEWER: We don't consider Honesty a weakness.
MAN: I don't give a fck what you think. |  | | |
| Corny Joke Warning on 21:55 - Dec 1 with 7691 views | Boston |
Knock knock
Who's there?
Dishes
Dishes who?
Dishes Sean Connery. | |
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| Corny Joke Warning on 22:13 - Dec 1 with 7678 views | Boston |
Why do Gorilla's have big nostrils?
They have big fingers. | |
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| Corny Joke Warning on 02:30 - Dec 2 with 7646 views | FredManRave |
What do you call anxious dinosaurs? Nervous Rex.
What did the fisherman say to the magician? Pick a cod, any cod.
What's an astronaut's favorite part of a computer? The space bar. | |
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| Corny Joke Warning on 20:27 - Dec 5 with 7463 views | Esox_Lucius |
It’s blowing a gale up in Glasgow by all accounts. Someone’s wig was blown off and it’s tumbling doon Sauchihall Street. Police have told people it’s dangerous and not to approach it. Apparantly it’s aff it’s heid. | |
| The grass is always greener. |
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| Corny Joke Warning on 22:50 - Dec 7 with 7286 views | loftboy |
To neigh or not to neigh that is equestrian! | |
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| Corny Joke Warning on 22:51 - Dec 7 with 7285 views | loftboy |
What happens to nitrogen when the sun rises ..... it becomes daytrogen! | |
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