The more things stay the same, the more things stay the same - knee jerks

Amidst the doom and gloom, Antti Heinola fishes his usual six talking points out of Sunday's home defeat against Everton.

Uphill struggles

QPR have played 32 times this season. One of those was a 0-0 draw. Of the other 31 games, QPR have conceded the first goal on 25 occasions. 25. We're the anti-Bournemouth. Twice we came back to win - once against the only side worse than us, Leicester, and once against West Brom, which was less a comeback than a Charlie Austin miracle. That's quite a staggering statistic and it says a lot about the dearth of belief in the squad, for all the nonsense spouted about 'spirit in the camp'. Spirit, whatever anyone says and whatever anyone does, comes from winning games.

It's a stat that reveals clearly how poor we are as a team defending (more on that in a moment), how unlikely we are to score more than one goal at the most and how we have become, simply, easy pickings for most teams.

Sunday had a familiar feel - we started okay, we made some chances, and then somehow contrived to give away a goal through a mixture of a collective defensive failure and, it does have to be said, a wonderful finish from the (totally unmarked) Seamus Coleman. This has happened again and again and again this season, under both Harry Redknapp and Chris Ramsey.

On this weekend, when we were presented with the most golden of golden chances to win against a patently knackered team and issue a real threat to the other five teams in this relegation battle, we went one-down again, meaning victory was always going to be incredibly unlikely.

How to defend

All season it has been the same - people blame the defence, people blame the midfield, people blame a mistake by Caulker, or an error by Ferdinand. But, in truth, there is a massive collective failure as a team to defend as a unit (and, similarly, to attack as a unit as well).

We don't track men. Our midfield is static. If we get caught out, no one has any pace to help us win the ball back quickly. No one shows for the ball to help out his team-mates. A portion of the crowd go mad when our full backs lose possession, but I guarantee eight times out of ten they've been surrounded by opposition with not a single QPR player making an angle or making a run for a pass. It's basic stuff, and anyone who thinks this is down to Ramsey is deluded because this has been going on for months and months and months - well over a year, in fact. It's just that in the Championship profligate finishing by the opposition and having Charlie Austin up front papers over any number of chasms.

Everton's second goal on Sunday was a repeat of so many goals we've conceded this season it's embarrassing. As soon as they won the ball in their own half, I knew we were in deep trouble. A goal felt inevitable simply because it has happened so many bloody times this season. You can see it happening: players out of position, no hope of the one-paced, knackered Sandro getting back, the centre backs too far apart, full backs in the wrong position with no cover, a goalkeeper who might never come for another cross for the rest of his life.

Abject and, worse, infuriating, because at the time Everton scored that goal, there only really looked like one team was going to win - well, unless you've watched QPR all season, in which case you know that, somehow, even when they lift themselves into a position where they might win, they'll find some way to stuff it up.

Captain Marvel

Don't like him, can't wait for him to leave in a few weeks and for the club to move on, but this was actually a good captain's performance from Joey Barton. Disciplined, hard-working, playing simple passes and then, at the right time (most of the time) playing some excellent balls forward. He did just about as much as he could to help us win the game, and that's good, but don't expect me to drop to my knees and commence enthusiastic fellatio, because Joey's red card at Hull is a huge factor in why we're going down. A few good performances before he leaves aren't going to change that.

Bobby Zamora

I've said it before, but the re-signing of Bobby was one of the major mistakes made last summer. Not because Bobby hasn't 'done a job' (that awful phrase) for us this season, because clearly he has, and clearly he tries his hardest - or as hard as his creaking hips and whining back will let him try. But it meant that Redknapp didn't have to bother himself with finding another striker - one that might have stayed fit and one who might actually threaten the opposition goal every once in a while.

We're not paying him much (relatively speaking), but had we instead let him go and put just £6m in for Gestede or even, not that I rate him very highly, someone like Cameron Jerome, we would at least have had somebody to do a similar job and at the same time be regularly fit and a decent option as a third choice striker. Instead, with no one willing to give Eduardo Vargas a chance up front save for a brief try away at Everton, we're left with just two strikers.

That leaves us desperate. The tactic of Bobby bullying defenders worked once or twice this season, but teams have quickly worked it out. Some get two men to challenge him and nullify him that way. Others, like Everton, seemed a bit happier for him to win the ball, but they made sure Austin, the actual danger, was crowded at all times. It worked perfectly. Austin barely got a kick and the best two chances fell to Zamora - one where he headed wide and should've scored and one where he smacked the ball well over when he should have at least worked Howard. He's not a threat, he makes us one dimensional and lazy and he's not going to keep us up.

Fine margins

I'm not going to start claiming we were unlucky when we conceded two sloppy goals and failed to put away our decent chances, or make enough good chances, to win. But still… Those fine margins are a bitch. Coleman's beautiful effort cracks the post and just creeps in the other side while Junior Hoilett, castigated once more on these pages, but actually better than usual I thought, beats Tim Howard all ends up and sees his shot canon back off the bar. And then Adel Taarabt, with a very good chance by his standards, hits the sweetest of shots, only to see it clip the bar and go over. Everton made three good chances and scored two. Again: desperate.

Sandro.

A lot of people were saying 'wait until Sandro's back'. My God. I'm not sure he'll ever be fully fit again. Largely anonymous. Fairly ineffective. And, as Douglas Adams once wrote about earth: mostly harmless.

Still, at least Ale's back on his feet. Let's face it, even on one leg he wouldn't have much trouble getting into this team.

Pictures — Action Images

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