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Curse Update 12:42 - Dec 30 with 6815 views

Lee Hoos is delighted to announce Keith Garlickhedge-Walpurgis as assistant to work alongside Director of Football Les Ferdinand in the newly created role of Director of Occult & Non-Sporting Matters.

Garlickhedge-Walpurgis: "Rangers have had a bad run of results of late but it's nothing the acquisition of an unbaptised infant can't change."

Details of the severance payment with the highly rated Wiccan's former club Grimsby Town have not been disclosed

[Post edited 30 Dec 2016 12:52]

Curse Update on 13:07 - Dec 30 with 6770 views

Kensal_Ranger

'It's gunna be 'ard', said a tight-lipped Garlickhedge-Walpurgis, going on to say how difficult it's always been to procure nubile virgins in Shepherds Bush...

Curse Update on 13:08 - Dec 30 with 6766 views

Konk

To lift the curse, Tony Fernandes must defecate in the centre circle at Loftus Road, bury his mobile phone deep within his wretched excrement and then take up exile in remote monastery with no mobile phone coverage or wifi. He must remain there for no less than four seasons during which time he will not communicate with anyone about anything other than Air Asia. This is the only way to exorcise the demons of impulsive populism and fight the forces of idiocy that have wreaked such havoc upon your club. It is written in the bible.

Fulham FC: It's the taking part that counts

Curse Update on 13:36 - Dec 30 with 6727 views

Konk

…but before the grand exorcism, Fernandes must attend a game and defecate upon his seat within the South Africa stand to ensure that his departure will be absolute and final. He may not return to his seat until the chod of shame has turned to gold. UncleTonexit means UncleTonexit.

Fulham FC: It's the taking part that counts

Curse Update on 14:21 - Dec 30 with 6655 views

DannyPaddox

Fernandes, Ramsey, and Ferdinand all toyed with in-game defacation during the recent visit to Brighton.

Curse Update on 14:23 - Dec 30 with 6649 views

LongsufferingR

Looks like Fernandes could have done with a little Senokot.

Curse Update on 14:36 - Dec 30 with 6616 views

Konk

Curse Update on 14:21 - Dec 30 by DannyPaddox
Fernandes, Ramsey, and Ferdinand all toyed with in-game defacation during the recent visit to Brighton.

Fernandes is definitely straining there. Ramsey and Ferdinand don't look impressed and who can blame them. Awkward. Maybe Holloway told him about the time he took Palace to Albion in the play-offs and someone took a dump on the changing room floor, and Tone thought he'd try his luck in the directors box. With his trousers on.

Fulham FC: It's the taking part that counts

Curse Update on 14:40 - Dec 30 with 6608 views

FredManRave

Curse Update on 14:21 - Dec 30 by DannyPaddox
Fernandes, Ramsey, and Ferdinand all toyed with in-game defacation during the recent visit to Brighton.

Is that an updated version on the Brighton curse of shitting on the changing room floor?!

	I've got the Power.
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Curse Update on 17:24 - Dec 30 with 6516 views

Dorse

Curse Update on 14:21 - Dec 30 by DannyPaddox
Fernandes, Ramsey, and Ferdinand all toyed with in-game defacation during the recent visit to Brighton.

Uncanny.

'What do we want? We don't know! When do we want it? Now!'

Curse Update on 18:54 - Dec 30 with 6466 views

E17hoop

Curse Update on 13:08 - Dec 30 by Konk

It's going to be the lead highlight on Match of the Day with an expert to commentate on it apparently:

[Post edited 30 Dec 2016 19:01]

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