The capacity at St mary's Stadium could be increased during the summer with Saints seemingly having to build a bank vault to keep all the money coming into the club.

Southampton officials are rumoured to having St Mary's Stadium surveyed to find out where the best place to build a large bank vault would be after Chelsea supposedly joined the chase for Morgan Schneiderlin and Nathaniel Clyne.

Favourite seems to be an underground chamber under the pitch which can then be guarded by a series of deathly man traps along with a couple of thousand year old knights from the crusades.

With the best part of another £100 million winging its way to Saints in the summer Steven Spielberg is apparently being consulted by the club to put in measures to guard the cash whilst Ronald Koeman identifies players to spend it on.

Spielberg is likely to advise them to build a big underground chamber under the pitch which can only be reached by first avoiding a swinging swinging axe, then answering a few clues from the quiz in the programme for the Sunderland game than enable a would be burglar to step on the right stones and avoid falling through a suspended floor.

If that is not enough then a pair of knight's who have been left behind from the last crusade will be employed to guard it with the final test being that would be thieves will need to identify the spoon used by Nicola Cortese to stir his expresso whilst he was being "leaved by mutual consent" last year.

Other than that it is just a normal day in the rumour mill for Southampton Football Club

Photo: Action Images

stmichael added 18:35 - Apr 8 Unfortunately you mocked all the rumours last season too Nick and everybody we feared losing the club left. This summers departures are looking equally as inevitable as it did back then. Sadly..
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SanMarco added 23:26 - Apr 8 Is he not mocking the whole rumour circus rather than saying that these particular two are not going. I think we all know they are going and if there is a bidding war then that is actually good news in terms of the narrow Saints interest although not in the wider sense of a game that has sold itself to the devil of money and selfishness.
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les5tar added 07:52 - Apr 9 Well at least the hacks from the Daily Saga Rinsed Fascist Mail led by that sanctimonious Martin Sordell who can't resist a sideways swipe at Southampton whenever he 'opens' his gob is not joining the media circus here but rather more interested in all things razzmatazz in London or teams from Lancashire. Still when a new ground is sourced we can no doubt read about in the Fascist come lately sports sections about how good it would be to have a large club on the South coast ( Sorry Pompey , Brighton and Bournemouth) competing financially with those unmentioned but still producing the goods on and off the pitch. Come on guys - instead of writing amusing comments like this get on the backs of payola driven hacks that put Saints down. You can do it

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BaselSaint added 12:42 - Apr 9 No problem, it`s time to go Shopping with Les and Ron.
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SaintBrock added 10:37 - Apr 14 Expanding St Mary's is an unnecessary vanity project along the lines of mine is bigger than yours. There is still much that can be done with the current stadium to improve the match day experience like more and healthier loo's, a decent food service that is capable of handling 32000 crowds without inconveniencing fans and re-organised exit arrangements that allow all fans out of the ground within five minutes or less (which may be a legal requirement anyway?). If we have money to spend, spend it where it matters.

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