| Manky Christmas Presents 13:56 - Dec 9 with 4064 views | colinallcars |
At this time of year, with Christmas impending, one's thoughts inevitably turn to some of the manky old presents received over the years.
My brother-in-law bought me an Asda voucher one year. |  | | |  |
| Manky Christmas Presents on 14:34 - Dec 9 with 3282 views | daveB |
secret santa last year was company wide so ended up with people you didn't know. I received scented Dog turd bags which would have been useful if I had a dog |  | | |
| Manky Christmas Presents on 14:59 - Dec 9 with 3247 views | Rs_Holy |
the first year they did secret santa here I got some hand knitted christmas tree decorations... Sravana in purchasing got some cordless headphones.... I mean what's that all about??? |  | | |
| Manky Christmas Presents on 15:03 - Dec 9 with 3235 views | Boston |
Duck decoys…perfect gift for the man who doesn’t go duck huntingâ˜¹ï¸ |  |
| |
| Manky Christmas Presents on 16:10 - Dec 9 with 3180 views | Mick_S |
Elkie Brooks’ greatest hits album. I think I was 18. I genuinely could not hide my disgust. |  |
| Did I ever mention that I was in Minder? |
| |
| Manky Christmas Presents on 17:56 - Dec 9 with 3108 views | hantssi |
My mother-in-law used to surpass herself year on year until she bought me a personalised golf ball monogrammer!
That just cannot be beaten!
Most of her gifts were in the charity shops by the end of January! | | | |
| Manky Christmas Presents on 18:12 - Dec 9 with 3088 views | R_from_afar |
My godfather used to come up with some crackers, like:
- A yahtzee related gift which consisted solely of the scorecards. Literally: No dice! 
- An encyclopedia, well, just the volume which covered the letter "M" No one ever worked out why he chose that particular volume. |  |
| "Things had started becoming increasingly desperate at Loftus Road but QPR have been handed a massive lifeline and the place has absolutely erupted. it's carnage. It's bedlam. It's 1-1." |
| |
| Manky Christmas Presents on 20:38 - Dec 9 with 2996 views | Willy_WonkR |
My grandparents once bought me a briefcase for Christmas. One those black square boxy ones with a double combination lock. Not a bad present but I was 14 at the time! |  | | |
| Manky Christmas Presents on 21:21 - Dec 9 with 2950 views | lightwaterhoop |
My mother in law once gave me a waterproof clock so i could keep an eye on the time while having a shower in the morning and not be late for work. [Post edited 9 Dec 2021 21:45]
| | | |
Login to get fewer ads
| Manky Christmas Presents on 09:56 - Dec 10 with 2756 views | rrrspricey |
| Manky Christmas Presents on 20:38 - Dec 9 by Willy_WonkR |
My grandparents once bought me a briefcase for Christmas. One those black square boxy ones with a double combination lock. Not a bad present but I was 14 at the time! |
 |  | | |
| Manky Christmas Presents on 20:46 - Dec 10 with 2579 views | Match82 |
I have a Secret Santa gift exchange to do for next week. I will be seeing how Americans react to a jar of Marmite. |  | | |
| Manky Christmas Presents on 21:16 - Dec 10 with 2563 views | colinallcars |
My first experience of Secret Santa was way back in the 80s. The bloke who ran the stationery store drew my name and for some reason thought I smoked cigars which I didn't. I enjoyed it so much I carried on smoking them right up to when they banned smoking in pubs.
Him giving me that cigar probably cost me a few thousand quid. | | | |
| Manky Christmas Presents on 23:13 - Dec 10 with 2509 views | karl |
My brother in law bought me a Liverpool scarf, that year we took him along with us to watch Everton v R’s (Karl Ready et al) but that was topped a few years later with the book commemorating Englands win at the rugby World Cup, I’m not that taken by rugby but it’s fair to say that particular book wasn’t high on my reading list, being in the format of a Shoot xmas annual when close to 40 did have a bearing on it too! |  | | |
| Manky Christmas Presents on 23:25 - Dec 10 with 2508 views | BrianMcCarthy |
My parents (well, my Mom let's face it. I'm not sure my Dad's ever been inside a shop) bought me an Everton schoolbag after Dave Thomas left us for them.
I still can't figure out the logic, and I can still remember how disappointed the poor woman looked when she copped my disgust. |  |
| |
| Manky Christmas Presents on 00:11 - Dec 11 with 2481 views | CLAREMAN1995 |
| Manky Christmas Presents on 17:56 - Dec 9 by hantssi |
My mother-in-law used to surpass herself year on year until she bought me a personalised golf ball monogrammer!
That just cannot be beaten!
Most of her gifts were in the charity shops by the end of January! |
Do not put your own name on the balls apparently people are getting sued for hitting cars or breaking windows once the name is found .
The person whose house got hit tracked the wild hitter through his name on the tee time sheet and he had to pay up. |  | | |
| Manky Christmas Presents on 00:28 - Dec 11 with 2456 views | Match82 |
| Manky Christmas Presents on 23:25 - Dec 10 by BrianMcCarthy |
My parents (well, my Mom let's face it. I'm not sure my Dad's ever been inside a shop) bought me an Everton schoolbag after Dave Thomas left us for them.
I still can't figure out the logic, and I can still remember how disappointed the poor woman looked when she copped my disgust. |
When I was little a grandparent bought me a Rangers jigsaw puzzle. Glasgow Rangers. Still, it had Mark Hately in it. Which actually made it worse. | | | |
| Manky Christmas Presents on 01:03 - Dec 11 with 2438 views | BrianMcCarthy |
| Manky Christmas Presents on 00:28 - Dec 11 by Match82 |
When I was little a grandparent bought me a Rangers jigsaw puzzle. Glasgow Rangers. Still, it had Mark Hately in it. Which actually made it worse. |
Hately also arrived in pieces. | |
| |
| Manky Christmas Presents on 08:12 - Dec 11 with 2374 views | distortR |
I thought this was going to be about floppy beany hats and the charlatans.
Of which I hate both. | | | |
| Manky Christmas Presents on 08:24 - Dec 11 with 2361 views | distortR |
| Manky Christmas Presents on 23:13 - Dec 10 by karl |
My brother in law bought me a Liverpool scarf, that year we took him along with us to watch Everton v R’s (Karl Ready et al) but that was topped a few years later with the book commemorating Englands win at the rugby World Cup, I’m not that taken by rugby but it’s fair to say that particular book wasn’t high on my reading list, being in the format of a Shoot xmas annual when close to 40 did have a bearing on it too! |
Reading your post and reading about clintons hilarious reading of her 2016 'victory speech', somewhere or other there must be a load of 'England 2021 champions of europe' merchandise knocking about. If I find any, it's yours! | | | |
| Manky Christmas Presents on 10:50 - Dec 11 with 2293 views | BrianMcCarthy |
| Manky Christmas Presents on 08:24 - Dec 11 by distortR |
Reading your post and reading about clintons hilarious reading of her 2016 'victory speech', somewhere or other there must be a load of 'England 2021 champions of europe' merchandise knocking about. If I find any, it's yours! |
Which reminds me abut Kerry GAA, my cousin and the sheep.
In Gaelic Football, Kerry are the New York Yankees. Like the Yankees their star is fading now but back in 1982 they were the undoubted kingpins, with a fine team that had won the All-Ireland four years in a row. And in 1982 they were in the Final again. Going for their fifth in a row. No-one had ever done five.
Nearly as famous as the Kerry team are the Kerry people, a race that have never answered a question with anything other than a question. There are no talkative people in Kerry. They do not share information. If they even know their surnames, we cannot be sure. The Irish Revenue have given up on them. When their Mothers call them to their dinner they stand at the gate for a few hours, wondering what the trap is.
And they have never, ever, told an outsider that they might win a game of football. Standard answers are "yerra, I d'know, we have fierce injuries", "yerra, I shpose we're up againsht it", "yerra, we've been lucky to get this far" and other assorted nonsense.
Except in 1982. In 1982, a sort of madness infected them. Even the most taciturn Kerrymen and women were crowing. They only had to beat Offaly to make it 5-in-a-row. Poor ol' Offaly. Useless Offaly. Who were Offaly!
Browns of Castleisland were making commemorative drinking glasses, celebrating not the pursuit of the 5-in-row, but the winning of it. Ahead of the Final. And distributing them to other Counties. For Free (another new word for Kerry people). Songs were being sung. Hats were worn. T-Shirts were printed, And worn, and worn out. All proclaiming the achievement. Before the day dawned at all.
Well, of course, sport refused to bend to poetry. And in the final minute of a tense All-Ireland Final a fine Offaly team, trailing by two points, made one last raid, delivered one last ball into the box and their star sub Seamus Darby caught the high ball, spun, and shot high into the net to win the game for Offaly by a point.
The 5-in-a-row was gone.
In 31 Counties, people rushed to the local bar and ordered a drink, any drink, as long as it was served in a 5-in-a-row glass, songs were sung, hats were flung, the New York Yankees of Gaelic Football were a ship smashed on the shore.
Which brings us to my cousin, Mick "Straic" McCarthy, a tall, broad, wiry and rogueish sheep farmer. A man who laughed with silent mirth and shaking shoulders. Mick was the only sheep farmer on the Cork side of the border in our part of West Cork. He dealt with and relied upon Kerry sheep farmers for his living and for his family's food.
He would have been wise to never mention Seamus Darby's goal. And Mick was a wise man.
But he was, firstly, a Cork man. And he'd had enough of Kerry's crowing in the weeks preceding the Final. So, when others were drinking in the 5-in-a-row glasses and singing Seamus Darby songs, Mick was silently preparing for the next Fair Day in Co.Kerry. The sheep were brought down from the mountain, readied for sale, wormed, dipped, penned and preened and, when the day came, the flock was driven down Kenmare High Street.
Hundreds of sheep. Hundreds. Each sheep resplendent in a 5-in-a-row T-Shirt.
After a stunned silence, a near-riot broke out. No-one was taciturn now. Insults were hurled Mick's way. For a while, it looked as if fists and boots would surely follow. Children were ushered off the street.
Mick just leaned against a wall, shoulders heaving with silent mirth. And let it all pass over him.
The sheep had to be driven back that night. Maybe he sold them another day. [Post edited 11 Dec 2021 19:03]
| |
| |
| Manky Christmas Presents on 11:36 - Dec 11 with 2243 views | BazzaInTheLoft |
All my presents have gone downhill since my Boglin in the early 1990s. |  | | |
| Manky Christmas Presents on 11:38 - Dec 11 with 2240 views | BazzaInTheLoft |
| Manky Christmas Presents on 23:25 - Dec 10 by BrianMcCarthy |
My parents (well, my Mom let's face it. I'm not sure my Dad's ever been inside a shop) bought me an Everton schoolbag after Dave Thomas left us for them.
I still can't figure out the logic, and I can still remember how disappointed the poor woman looked when she copped my disgust. |
Like sending you your ex wife’s new fella’s underwear with her lipstick on it 😆 | | | |
| Manky Christmas Presents on 12:18 - Dec 11 with 2203 views | traininvain |
I was given a Chelsea scarf for secret Santa from someone at work. I promptly disposed of the scarf in the bin which didn’t go down very well with some colleagues. |  | | |
| Manky Christmas Presents on 18:25 - Dec 11 with 2103 views | distortR |
| Manky Christmas Presents on 10:50 - Dec 11 by BrianMcCarthy |
Which reminds me abut Kerry GAA, my cousin and the sheep.
In Gaelic Football, Kerry are the New York Yankees. Like the Yankees their star is fading now but back in 1982 they were the undoubted kingpins, with a fine team that had won the All-Ireland four years in a row. And in 1982 they were in the Final again. Going for their fifth in a row. No-one had ever done five.
Nearly as famous as the Kerry team are the Kerry people, a race that have never answered a question with anything other than a question. There are no talkative people in Kerry. They do not share information. If they even know their surnames, we cannot be sure. The Irish Revenue have given up on them. When their Mothers call them to their dinner they stand at the gate for a few hours, wondering what the trap is.
And they have never, ever, told an outsider that they might win a game of football. Standard answers are "yerra, I d'know, we have fierce injuries", "yerra, I shpose we're up againsht it", "yerra, we've been lucky to get this far" and other assorted nonsense.
Except in 1982. In 1982, a sort of madness infected them. Even the most taciturn Kerrymen and women were crowing. They only had to beat Offaly to make it 5-in-a-row. Poor ol' Offaly. Useless Offaly. Who were Offaly!
Browns of Castleisland were making commemorative drinking glasses, celebrating not the pursuit of the 5-in-row, but the winning of it. Ahead of the Final. And distributing them to other Counties. For Free (another new word for Kerry people). Songs were being sung. Hats were worn. T-Shirts were printed, And worn, and worn out. All proclaiming the achievement. Before the day dawned at all.
Well, of course, sport refused to bend to poetry. And in the final minute of a tense All-Ireland Final a fine Offaly team, trailing by two points, made one last raid, delivered one last ball into the box and their star sub Seamus Darby caught the high ball, spun, and shot high into the net to win the game for Offaly by a point.
The 5-in-a-row was gone.
In 31 Counties, people rushed to the local bar and ordered a drink, any drink, as long as it was served in a 5-in-a-row glass, songs were sung, hats were flung, the New York Yankees of Gaelic Football were a ship smashed on the shore.
Which brings us to my cousin, Mick "Straic" McCarthy, a tall, broad, wiry and rogueish sheep farmer. A man who laughed with silent mirth and shaking shoulders. Mick was the only sheep farmer on the Cork side of the border in our part of West Cork. He dealt with and relied upon Kerry sheep farmers for his living and for his family's food.
He would have been wise to never mention Seamus Darby's goal. And Mick was a wise man.
But he was, firstly, a Cork man. And he'd had enough of Kerry's crowing in the weeks preceding the Final. So, when others were drinking in the 5-in-a-row glasses and singing Seamus Darby songs, Mick was silently preparing for the next Fair Day in Co.Kerry. The sheep were brought down from the mountain, readied for sale, wormed, dipped, penned and preened and, when the day came, the flock was driven down Kenmare High Street.
Hundreds of sheep. Hundreds. Each sheep resplendent in a 5-in-a-row T-Shirt.
After a stunned silence, a near-riot broke out. No-one was taciturn now. Insults were hurled Mick's way. For a while, it looked as if fists and boots would surely follow. Children were ushered off the street.
Mick just leaned against a wall, shoulders heaving with silent mirth. And let it all pass over him.
The sheep had to be driven back that night. Maybe he sold them another day. [Post edited 11 Dec 2021 19:03]
|
Love that and the telling of it!
Shit day, van broke down, work unfinished and no spare vehicle, and you've cheered me up no end! | | | |
| Manky Christmas Presents on 18:45 - Dec 11 with 2089 views | nix |
Master story telling Brian! |  | | |
| Manky Christmas Presents on 19:33 - Dec 11 with 2029 views | Noelmc |
| Manky Christmas Presents on 10:50 - Dec 11 by BrianMcCarthy |
Which reminds me abut Kerry GAA, my cousin and the sheep.
In Gaelic Football, Kerry are the New York Yankees. Like the Yankees their star is fading now but back in 1982 they were the undoubted kingpins, with a fine team that had won the All-Ireland four years in a row. And in 1982 they were in the Final again. Going for their fifth in a row. No-one had ever done five.
Nearly as famous as the Kerry team are the Kerry people, a race that have never answered a question with anything other than a question. There are no talkative people in Kerry. They do not share information. If they even know their surnames, we cannot be sure. The Irish Revenue have given up on them. When their Mothers call them to their dinner they stand at the gate for a few hours, wondering what the trap is.
And they have never, ever, told an outsider that they might win a game of football. Standard answers are "yerra, I d'know, we have fierce injuries", "yerra, I shpose we're up againsht it", "yerra, we've been lucky to get this far" and other assorted nonsense.
Except in 1982. In 1982, a sort of madness infected them. Even the most taciturn Kerrymen and women were crowing. They only had to beat Offaly to make it 5-in-a-row. Poor ol' Offaly. Useless Offaly. Who were Offaly!
Browns of Castleisland were making commemorative drinking glasses, celebrating not the pursuit of the 5-in-row, but the winning of it. Ahead of the Final. And distributing them to other Counties. For Free (another new word for Kerry people). Songs were being sung. Hats were worn. T-Shirts were printed, And worn, and worn out. All proclaiming the achievement. Before the day dawned at all.
Well, of course, sport refused to bend to poetry. And in the final minute of a tense All-Ireland Final a fine Offaly team, trailing by two points, made one last raid, delivered one last ball into the box and their star sub Seamus Darby caught the high ball, spun, and shot high into the net to win the game for Offaly by a point.
The 5-in-a-row was gone.
In 31 Counties, people rushed to the local bar and ordered a drink, any drink, as long as it was served in a 5-in-a-row glass, songs were sung, hats were flung, the New York Yankees of Gaelic Football were a ship smashed on the shore.
Which brings us to my cousin, Mick "Straic" McCarthy, a tall, broad, wiry and rogueish sheep farmer. A man who laughed with silent mirth and shaking shoulders. Mick was the only sheep farmer on the Cork side of the border in our part of West Cork. He dealt with and relied upon Kerry sheep farmers for his living and for his family's food.
He would have been wise to never mention Seamus Darby's goal. And Mick was a wise man.
But he was, firstly, a Cork man. And he'd had enough of Kerry's crowing in the weeks preceding the Final. So, when others were drinking in the 5-in-a-row glasses and singing Seamus Darby songs, Mick was silently preparing for the next Fair Day in Co.Kerry. The sheep were brought down from the mountain, readied for sale, wormed, dipped, penned and preened and, when the day came, the flock was driven down Kenmare High Street.
Hundreds of sheep. Hundreds. Each sheep resplendent in a 5-in-a-row T-Shirt.
After a stunned silence, a near-riot broke out. No-one was taciturn now. Insults were hurled Mick's way. For a while, it looked as if fists and boots would surely follow. Children were ushered off the street.
Mick just leaned against a wall, shoulders heaving with silent mirth. And let it all pass over him.
The sheep had to be driven back that night. Maybe he sold them another day. [Post edited 11 Dec 2021 19:03]
|
Brilliant, Brian.
A fine example of the wonderful Irish art of storytelling. |  | | |
| |
By continuing to use the site, you agree to our use of cookies and to abide by our Terms and Conditions.
