| It’s only a laugh ! 10:11 - Aug 12 with 48975 views | KeithHaynes |
Put your jokes, pics etc right here 👍
Here’s one.
This post has been edited by an administrator |  |
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| It’s only a laugh ! on 10:30 - Aug 16 with 5818 views | lifelong |
Scouser walks into a bar in North Wales with a parrot on his shoulder, barman says ‘You can’t come in here with that smelly horrible thing’
Parrot says, ‘Ok, we’ll leave.’ |  | | |
| It’s only a laugh ! on 10:52 - Aug 16 with 5811 views | SullutaCreturned |
| It’s only a laugh ! on 19:57 - Aug 15 by max936 |
No comedians either ? |
There's Kilkenny  |  | | |
| It’s only a laugh ! on 12:01 - Aug 16 with 5756 views | onehunglow |
| It’s only a laugh ! on 10:30 - Aug 16 by lifelong |
Scouser walks into a bar in North Wales with a parrot on his shoulder, barman says ‘You can’t come in here with that smelly horrible thing’
Parrot says, ‘Ok, we’ll leave.’ |
Hilarious.
That said, north Wales would close down if the scousers went to Skegness instead .
We re off to Bala tomorrow. No doubt the cafes will be full of the bar stewards spending money keeping the locals in business.
…so the Muslim says… | |
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| It’s only a laugh ! on 14:21 - Aug 16 with 5715 views | theloneranger |
I just stopped off at a service station on the M4.
I went to the till with a cup of coffee, a doughnut and a packet of crisps.
I said to the woman on the till, "Sorry love I've only got a £50 note"
She replied, "You'll have to put the crisps back then" ...!! |  |
| Everyday above ground ... Is a good day! 😎 |
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| It’s only a laugh ! on 14:53 - Aug 16 with 5710 views | YrAlarch |
What do you call a Welshman in control of four prostitutes?
Pedr pump | | | |
| It’s only a laugh ! on 20:16 - Aug 16 with 5647 views | Gwyn737 |
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| It’s only a laugh ! on 11:30 - Aug 17 with 5531 views | theloneranger |
I just saw an overweight girl walking down the High Street.
She had a T-shirt on saying - “I love the HIP HOP"
"I think the letters “C” and “S” must have fallen off" ...!! | |
| Everyday above ground ... Is a good day! 😎 |
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| It’s only a laugh ! on 23:03 - Aug 17 with 5412 views | theloneranger |
John was on his deathbed and gasped pitifully.
"Give me one last request dear" he said.
"Of course John" his wife said softly.
John said, "Six months after I die, I want you to marry Bob"
"But I thought you hated Bob" she said.
With his last breath John gasped.
"I DO" ...!! | |
| Everyday above ground ... Is a good day! 😎 |
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| It’s only a laugh ! on 11:37 - Aug 19 with 5250 views | Gwyn737 |
Thinking of visiting Switzerland, anyone know what’s good over there?
I know the flag is a big plus. [Post edited 19 Aug 2023 13:54]
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| It’s only a laugh ! on 16:02 - Aug 19 with 5191 views | Joesus_Of_Narbereth |
Took the kids to the zoo the other day but the only animal they had was a dog.
It was a shitzhu. |  |
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| It’s only a laugh ! on 17:36 - Aug 19 with 5152 views | theloneranger |
Two women walking home drunk were busting for the toilet.
So they went into a graveyard.
They had no toilet paper so one woman used her knickers and threw them away. The other used a ribbon from a wreath.
The next day their husbands were talking, "We'd better keep an eye on our wives when they go out" one said, "Mine came home without her knickers"
"You think that's bad" said the other husband, "Mine had a card stuck to her arse saying"
"From all the lads at the fire station - We'll never forget you" ...!! | |
| Everyday above ground ... Is a good day! 😎 |
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| It’s only a laugh ! on 09:52 - Aug 20 with 5028 views | YrAlarch |
| It’s only a laugh ! on 17:36 - Aug 19 by theloneranger |
Two women walking home drunk were busting for the toilet.
So they went into a graveyard.
They had no toilet paper so one woman used her knickers and threw them away. The other used a ribbon from a wreath.
The next day their husbands were talking, "We'd better keep an eye on our wives when they go out" one said, "Mine came home without her knickers"
"You think that's bad" said the other husband, "Mine had a card stuck to her arse saying"
"From all the lads at the fire station - We'll never forget you" ...!! |
That has to be the best one so far. | | | |
| It’s only a laugh ! on 14:00 - Aug 20 with 4974 views | theloneranger |
I was sitting at home this morning when a policeman knocked on my door.
He said to me.
"Sorry to bother you sir, but have you got a photo of your wife" ??
I showed him the photo, and he said in a very sad voice.
"I'm so sorry sir, but it looks like your wife's been hit by a bus"
I said - "I know, but she's got a great personality, and she's a wonderful mum" ...!! | |
| Everyday above ground ... Is a good day! 😎 |
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| It’s only a laugh ! on 14:08 - Aug 21 with 4842 views | theloneranger |
NEWSFLASH
BOOM INDUSTRIAL ACTION
Muslim suicide bombers in Britain are set to begin a three-day strike next Monday in a dispute over the number of virgins they are entitled to in the afterlife. Emergency talks with Al Qaeda have so far failed to produce an agreement.
The unrest began last Tuesday when Al Qaeda announced that the number of virgins a suicide bomber would receive after his death will be cut by 25% this December from 72 to only 54. The rationale for the cut was the increase in recent years of the number of suicide bombings and a subsequent shortage of virgins in the afterlife.
The suicide bombers' union, the British Organization of Occupational Martyrs (or B.O.O.M.) responded with a statement that this was unacceptable to its members and immediately balloted for strike action. General Secretary Abdullah Amir told the press, "Our members are literally working themselves to death in the cause of Jihad. We don't ask for much in return but to be treated like this is like a kick in the teeth"
Speaking from his shed in Tipton in the West Midlands in which he currently resides, an Al Qaeda chief executive explained,
"We sympathize with our workers' concerns but Al Qaeda is simply not in a position to meet their demands. They are obviously not accepting the realities of modern-day Jihad in a competitive marketplace. Thanks to Western depravity, there is now a chronic shortage of virgins in the afterlife. It's a straight choice between reducing expenditure and laying people off. I don't like cutting wages but I'd hate to have to tell 3000 of my staff that they won't be able to blow themselves up"
Spokespersons for the union in Newcastle, Middlesbrough, Essex, Glasgow, Bournemouth, and Birkenhead stated that they would be unaffected, as there are no virgins in these areas anyway. | |
| Everyday above ground ... Is a good day! 😎 |
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| It’s only a laugh ! on 09:34 - Aug 22 with 4744 views | YrAlarch |
Paddy and Seamus, working on a building site, having lunch together.
Seamus pours himself a cup of coffee from a thermos flask.
Paddy asks him what he keeps his coffee in.
Seamus explains that it is a thermos flask, that keeps hot things hot and cold things cold.
Paddy expresses his admiration and asks Seamos where he can get one.
Seamus tells him and the next day,at lunch, Paddy produces his new thermos flask.
Seamus asks him what he has got in his flask.
Paddy replies, "I've got coffee for the hot thing and ice cream for the cold thing." | | | |
| It’s only a laugh ! on 12:28 - Aug 22 with 4685 views | alltjack |
Bloke applies for a job as a general handyman
The interviewer says that the job involves some bricklaying
Fella says sorry dont do bricklaying
Plastering then? Do you do any plastering?
No sorry, never got the hang of it
Roofing?
Nah, frightened of heights sorry
Plumbing then, can you plumb?
No, last time I did any plumbing I flooded the house
Electrics?
Electrics terrify me to be honest
You can't brick, you can't plaster, you dont do heights, you can't plumb and your frightened of electrics, and you apply for a job as a handyman. What's handy about you?
I only live around the corner | | | |
| It’s only a laugh ! on 12:54 - Aug 22 with 4654 views | Joesus_Of_Narbereth |
I started dating a zookeeper, but it turned out he was a cheetah.
Won the award for funniest joke at the Edinburgh Fringe this year apparently. | |
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| It’s only a laugh ! on 19:16 - Aug 22 with 4568 views | nantywatcher |
| It’s only a laugh ! on 12:54 - Aug 22 by Joesus_Of_Narbereth |
I started dating a zookeeper, but it turned out he was a cheetah.
Won the award for funniest joke at the Edinburgh Fringe this year apparently. |
Not funny taken out of contexts however, very funny as part of her stand up routine, as a Fag Ash Lil. | | | |
| It’s only a laugh ! on 19:49 - Aug 22 with 4557 views | union_jack |
| It’s only a laugh ! on 19:16 - Aug 22 by nantywatcher |
Not funny taken out of contexts however, very funny as part of her stand up routine, as a Fag Ash Lil. |
Welsh Fire’s bowling at the death😂😂😂😂😂😂 |  |
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| It’s only a laugh ! on 09:43 - Aug 28 with 4262 views | onehunglow |
“Every theft must be investigated”
Stella Braverman | |
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| It’s only a laugh ! on 11:27 - Aug 28 with 4237 views | union_jack |
| It’s only a laugh ! on 09:43 - Aug 28 by onehunglow |
“Every theft must be investigated”
Stella Braverman |
Was that the punchline to your joke by instalments? I’m having sleepless nights waiting for it😂 | |
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| It’s only a laugh ! on 13:17 - Aug 28 with 4198 views | onehunglow |
| It’s only a laugh ! on 11:27 - Aug 28 by union_jack |
Was that the punchline to your joke by instalments? I’m having sleepless nights waiting for it😂 |
So the Muslim is asked if he wants a drink
And says ,I’d rather be f | |
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| It’s only a laugh ! on 13:44 - Aug 28 with 4188 views | Thrasher6 |
Sometimes I wonder what my grandfather would think of what I do. He spent his whole life in the kebab business, was buried with all his equipment; probably turning in his grave. |  |
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| It’s only a laugh ! on 17:22 - Aug 28 with 4160 views | theloneranger |
I almost had a Psychic girlfriend.
but she left me before we met ...!! | |
| Everyday above ground ... Is a good day! 😎 |
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| It’s only a laugh ! on 19:01 - Aug 29 with 4040 views | SullutaCreturned |
My girlfriend told me she slept with 5 people before we met.
I wouldn’t mind but I was only 20 minutes late. | | | |
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