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Thought I'd share this with Darran (and others) before it goes to print;- :)
We made an approach to the infamous Darran from Planet Swans to see if he would be willing to contribute a monthly feature in the magazine, he declined (in his usual polite way) but this is what I think he would have said if he accepted.
An away day at Villa
The Villa match was as dire as the Stoke one, horrendous game of football from two awful sides. The whole day was terrible; I hate Autumn for starters, what is the point of it? Trees raining leaves, sunny one minute and freezing the next, it’s an atrocious season; I don’t like Winter either, nor Spring or Summer but I really don’t like Autumn.
The weather was typically Autumny too; I hate the word ‘Autumn’, the only word worse that Autumn is ‘fall’; bloody Americans! I’m not fussed on them either. Anyway, I went to the game; Villa Park; what a shed of a stadium that is! They could do with spending a few quid on making that half decent; miserable stadium in a dull dump of a city.
Stopped for a pie before the game, I say a ‘pie’, that suggests there was something in it; this was merely pastry and not good pastry at that. Not like the pies of the past; do you remember when places took pride on their pies? When an away day involved sampling a seriously good pie? Not here; not anywhere these days!!
The pie was a huge success compared to the game mind you. The first half was appalling; how anyone could call that value for money amazes me. Their fans were non-existent apart from the odd moan about their team and manager; I never understand how some people seem to enjoy moaning all the time; it seriously annoys me!!! Moan, moan, moan, moan, moan!!!
The second half was even worse in reality even if there were a few schoolboy goals. They scored when our Ayew missed a sitter; I’m not fussed on him at all; does nothing! And then his brother scores at the other end and his brother is even worse than our one!! Shows how bad our defence is but Fabianski couldn’t catch a cold!
The ref gave us a free-kick for no reason whatsoever; gone are the days when you could tackle an opponent and Guzan seemed to let Siggy put the ball in the net; the ball was passed right into the middle of the goal; how the keeper let that in I have no idea!
Just to round off an awful game, Monk managed to fluke a winner and keep his job which really infuriated me because he’s clearly the worse manager in the league. Boring football played by overpriced pre-Madonna in a horrific stadium based in a city which should be burnt to the ground! If Volkswagens emissions department did football away days then this would be it!
Swansea Indepenent Poster Of The Year 2021. Dr P / Mart66 / Roathie / Parlay / E20/ Duffle was 2nd, but he is deluded and thinks in his little twisted brain that he won. Poor sod. We let him win this year, as he has cried for a whole year. His 14 usernames, bless his cotton socks.
Just because you learned where the semi-colon key is, it doesn't mean you should vomit it everywhere. (Unless this is something Darran does and I'm missing the joke?)
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Darran doesn't contribute to Jack Swan magazine; so we made it up on 20:57 - Oct 26 with 3320 views
Darran doesn't contribute to Jack Swan magazine; so we made it up on 20:49 - Oct 26 by Thursday
Just because you learned where the semi-colon key is, it doesn't mean you should vomit it everywhere. (Unless this is something Darran does and I'm missing the joke?)
Darran doesn't contribute to Jack Swan magazine; so we made it up on 20:30 - Oct 26 by builthjack
The pies were good
Steak and kidney were better than those on offer at he Liberty.
If you can fill the unforgiving minute.
With sixty seconds' worth of distance run,
Yours is the Earth and everything that's in it,
And - which is more - you'll be a Man, my son!
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Darran doesn't contribute to Jack Swan magazine; so we made it up on 08:54 - Oct 27 with 3092 views
2/10. He's click bait. A contrarian. If the mode was negative he'd go positive. Plus no mention of cheap truck or whatever that Beatles wannabe band is called.
Darran doesn't contribute to Jack Swan magazine; so we made it up on 08:54 - Oct 27 by Uxbridge
2/10. He's click bait. A contrarian. If the mode was negative he'd go positive. Plus no mention of cheap truck or whatever that Beatles wannabe band is called.
Bore off.
The first ever recipient of a Planet Swans Lifetime Achievement Award.
Darran doesn't contribute to Jack Swan magazine; so we made it up on 08:54 - Oct 27 by Uxbridge
2/10. He's click bait. A contrarian. If the mode was negative he'd go positive. Plus no mention of cheap truck or whatever that Beatles wannabe band is called.
Your turn next month :) 'what Darran would have said by Uxbridge'
Clickbait, contrarian? Fook me ,this on a football forum. How utterly pretentious.
Suppose middle class professionals coming up with patronising drivel is what gets me .
Pross is harmless and a good man. Those serious in ripping into him are the type of people miss meeting on match days. It almost makes me want to come back home more often. Almost.
I recall this man getting abuse and his family on a scale that shames us all and some need to remember that when stating they miss an individual whose first and only thought was to defame,discredit and disrespect.
Darran doesn't contribute to Jack Swan magazine; so we made it up on 16:01 - Oct 27 by perchrockjack
Clickbait, contrarian? Fook me ,this on a football forum. How utterly pretentious.
Suppose middle class professionals coming up with patronising drivel is what gets me .
Pross is harmless and a good man. Those serious in ripping into him are the type of people miss meeting on match days. It almost makes me want to come back home more often. Almost.
I recall this man getting abuse and his family on a scale that shames us all and some need to remember that when stating they miss an individual whose first and only thought was to defame,discredit and disrespect.
Choose your enemy better ,innit
At least you spelt 'harmless' correctly anyway.
The first ever recipient of a Planet Swans Lifetime Achievement Award.
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