| Corny Joke Warning 16:56 - Aug 29 with 819621 views | Boston |
What vehicle do electricians prefer to drive?
A Volts Wagon. |  |
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| Corny Joke Warning on 16:29 - Dec 26 with 8660 views | Esox_Lucius |
I just had a very weird experience at the local massage parlour.
The lady started rubbing expresso, mascarpone cheese, eggs, sugar, marsala wine, rum and cocoa powder all over my body.
Turns out she was a tiramassuese. |  |
| The grass is always greener. |
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| Corny Joke Warning on 18:09 - Dec 26 with 8613 views | Boston |
Not long before there are no more calendars...yes, their days are numbered. | |
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| Corny Joke Warning on 19:41 - Dec 27 with 8508 views | Esox_Lucius |
My dog once retrieved a stick that I threw 3 miles away. Apologies if that sounds far fetched. | |
| The grass is always greener. |
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| Corny Joke Warning on 12:12 - Jan 10 with 8279 views | CliveWilsonSaid |
I woke up last night to find the ghost of Gloria Gaynor next to my bed.
At first I was afraid. I was Petrified. |  |
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| Corny Joke Warning on 14:47 - Jan 10 with 8207 views | Boston |
Why can’t your nose be 12” long?
Because it would be a foot. | |
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| Corny Joke Warning on 17:54 - Jan 10 with 8149 views | johnhoop |
Not so much a joke more of an observation/enquiry. Would a cross between a Labradoodle and a Cockapoo be known as
a) a cockadoodle
Or
b) a labrapoo | | | |
| Corny Joke Warning on 19:42 - Jan 10 with 8100 views | johncharles |
Could be a Pot Noodle |  |
| Strong and stable my arse. |
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| Corny Joke Warning on 21:04 - Jan 10 with 8061 views | Boston |
Man walks into a doctors and requests an appointment
Receptionist offers 10 tomorrow
Man replies he only needs one. | |
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| Corny Joke Warning on 22:01 - Jan 10 with 8039 views | BathRanger |
I recently decided to join a yodeling club. When I arrived, they told me to go and stand with the other new starters and form an orderly orderly orderly queue. |  | | |
| Corny Joke Warning on 22:31 - Jan 10 with 8019 views | colinallcars |
If a barista's alarm clock failed to go off, would he be latte for work ? |  | | |
| Corny Joke Warning on 12:16 - Jan 18 with 7859 views | acricketer |
What do you call a French person wearing flip-flops? A: Phillipe Phillop | | | |
| Corny Joke Warning on 04:00 - Jan 19 with 7799 views | Boston |
In an effort to sell more tickets the club are offering a free snort of cocaine with every season ticket.
The lines are out the door. | |
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| Corny Joke Warning on 15:02 - Jan 24 with 7673 views | Boston |
Bored husband and disillusioned wife in bed.....
Wife....do you know a bull can have sex every day of the year?
Husband....yeah, but not with the same miserable cow. [Post edited 24 Jan 2020 15:03]
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| Corny Joke Warning on 16:35 - Jan 24 with 7626 views | Esox_Lucius |
I wonder what it was that scared all the trees in a petrified forest? | |
| The grass is always greener. |
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| Corny Joke Warning on 21:19 - Jan 24 with 7558 views | Boston |
| Corny Joke Warning on 16:35 - Jan 24 by Esox_Lucius |
I wonder what it was that scared all the trees in a petrified forest? |
Dunno, but all the Willows were weeping.... [Post edited 24 Jan 2020 21:20]
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| Corny Joke Warning on 22:01 - Jan 24 with 7540 views | Boston |
Random thought...would it be unlucky to drink alcohol on Friday the 13th or is that merely stuporstition? | |
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| Corny Joke Warning on 22:14 - Jan 24 with 7522 views | Boston |
Its been raining for days now and my wife seems very depressed by this, she keeps standing at the window, all miserable and staring.
If it continues I'm going to have to let her in. | |
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| Corny Joke Warning on 13:31 - Feb 3 with 7417 views | Esox_Lucius |
I am currently out birdwatching with Sinead O'Connor. So far it has been 7 Owls and 15 Jays. | |
| The grass is always greener. |
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| Corny Joke Warning on 14:14 - Feb 3 with 7381 views | Boston |
I hear they’re re-sodding the pitch at Stamford Bridge.
Says something when you can’t get your own grass to root for ya. | |
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| Corny Joke Warning on 15:37 - Feb 3 with 7338 views | Esox_Lucius |
I thought my wife was joking when she said she wanted to see the Monkeys in concert in Switzerland.
Then I saw her face, now I’m in Geneva. | |
| The grass is always greener. |
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| Corny Joke Warning on 18:30 - Feb 3 with 7288 views | Boston |
Bloke is so desperate to lose weight that he calls a number from a newspaper ad guaranteeing a ten pound drop in a week.Pays his money over the phone and is told the course starts the next morning.
8am an extremely attractive woman is standing on his doorstep wearing nothing but running shoes and a sign around her neck stating if you catch me you can have me. This happens every day for the week in which time he chased and chased with no luck....but he has dropped 10lbs.
Happy with the results he enquires about their 15lbs a week loss programme, pays his money and the next day the most drop dead gorgeous woman he has ever seen is at the door attired in the same manner as the previous girl. Off he goes running, getting closer and closer every day until he almost touches her on the final sprint. Sad but he cheers up when discovering he has lost another 15lbs.
Convinced of impending success he immediately stumps up for the top of the line 20lbs a week loss. The next morning the doorbell rings and a 300lbs, naked muscular, sweaty, hairy brute of a man with an enormous erection is in front of the house, sign around his neck reading, if I catch you I’m going to have you. [Post edited 3 Feb 2020 18:31]
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| Corny Joke Warning on 19:05 - Feb 3 with 7248 views | Lblock |
How do you wake up Lady GaGa while she's sleeping?
Poker face |  |
| Cherish and enjoy life.... this ain't no dress rehearsal |
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| Corny Joke Warning on 18:40 - Feb 5 with 7113 views | Boston |
Man walks into the doctors office and says, "Doctor, I think I'm addicted to twitter."
The doctor looks him up and down and replies, "I'm sorry, I don't follow you." | |
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| Corny Joke Warning on 18:53 - Feb 5 with 7110 views | Boston |
Driving Quiz Question...
You are driving your car at a constant speed, on your outside is a drop off of about two feet, on the inside a fire engine doing the same speed as you. In front of your vehicle is a riderless galloping horse, tightly behind a running zebra.
Q. How do you extricate yourself from this dangerous situation?
A. Get off the fcking merry-go-round, it's for the children. [Post edited 5 Feb 2020 18:55]
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| Corny Joke Warning on 19:07 - Feb 5 with 7087 views | johncharles |
A man just hit me with a carton of milk and some cheddar cheese.
How dairy ! [Post edited 5 Feb 2020 23:35]
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| Strong and stable my arse. |
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