| What makes you happy. ? 19:30 - Nov 13 with 5523 views | Sirjohnalot |
World can be so dark at times, tough times, winter coming etc.
So I thought I’d ask, have a think, what makes you happy ?
My wife, my dog, like my job, live in a pretty area, and I’m in position where I can look after my parents, mother in law and mates financially if they need it.
Good enough
Let's expand it a bit, to include, what has made you laugh or smile today, no matter how daft
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| What makes you happy. ? on 07:24 - Nov 16 with 675 views | STID2017 |
| What makes you happy. ? on 02:23 - Nov 16 by mart66 |
There does seem to be an idea among many that you can either be successful OR happy. I have never seen it as a choice between the two, I have always endeavoured to maintain both.
The higher you go in your profession, the more time you tend to have and the better the perks which translate into better standards of living. For example I have unlimited paid holidays which allows me to go around the world with my now wife on top of the business trips she often joins me on.
Next month I will be in Vegas with my wife before heading to New York for Xmas, all covered due to it being off the back of business trips. So for me, happiness, material goods and professional success doesn’t have to be decided between - it’s all rolled into one happy package.
The more people that adopt that mindset the more fulfilled they will be in both their work life and home life. |
Been there, done that, bought the tee shirt.
Had the fantastic holidays, fantastic house, cars, etc, etc.
The hours sacrificed to achieve all that ultimately were not worth it.
Once I stepped off that treadmill, our lives actually became much more fulfilling and enjoyable.
Also life has a way of making us all realise at one point or another what a short ride it is.
Thanks but no thanks. |  |
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| What makes you happy. ? on 07:35 - Nov 16 with 649 views | mart66 |
| What makes you happy. ? on 06:59 - Nov 16 by BryanSwan |
I get where you are coming from, but I've always viewed work as a means to an end. It provides the money to pay for things that i actually enjoy.
Having an extra few bob or having a slightly bigger house or better car really mean nothing in my opinion, they don't provide any fulfilment in my life. What does that is spending time with my parents, siblings, partner and daughter.
I suppose that's what makes people different, all are free to prioritise or enjoy whatever they please and if you are happy then that is fantastic. |
But if you enjoy that job and that job allows you the financial freedom to be able to spend even more time and provide for your family then that job is more than a means to an end, it’s critical to your happiness as it is intrinsically linked to being able to spend that time with them and the security you can provide them.
So having a bigger house and a nice car doesn’t mean you are taking any enjoyment away from family life. I spend the same amount of time (maybe more) with my wife driving my current car (high end) as I did when I had a 10 year old Mini Cooper. This is what I mean by not being “either or”.
I think a lot of people often excuse a lack of ambition or success by saying the prefer spending time with the family. I always say strive to be successful to an extent where it doesn’t impact on the time spent with the family and in fact enhances it as the financial security it provides can be used to make real and special memories.
Take a footballer for example. I know an awful lot of them spiral into a depression when they finish up and yet have all the time in the world on their hands. The key is to find a balance between financial security/success and family, once you start separating them and having the thought process that only one can be achieved then you never maximise either.
Family is great, but family when you can combine that with providing for them and creating incredible memories together is a far better route. I urge everyone to find that balance and ditch the notion that you can only choose one… have it all. Why not? |  |
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| What makes you happy. ? on 07:43 - Nov 16 with 630 views | trampie |
| What makes you happy. ? on 02:23 - Nov 16 by mart66 |
There does seem to be an idea among many that you can either be successful OR happy. I have never seen it as a choice between the two, I have always endeavoured to maintain both.
The higher you go in your profession, the more time you tend to have and the better the perks which translate into better standards of living. For example I have unlimited paid holidays which allows me to go around the world with my now wife on top of the business trips she often joins me on.
Next month I will be in Vegas with my wife before heading to New York for Xmas, all covered due to it being off the back of business trips. So for me, happiness, material goods and professional success doesn’t have to be decided between - it’s all rolled into one happy package.
The more people that adopt that mindset the more fulfilled they will be in both their work life and home life. |
The phrase 'good work if you can get it' springs to mind, most people would not be able to get that kind of package. |  |
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| What makes you happy. ? on 07:51 - Nov 16 with 622 views | mart66 |
| What makes you happy. ? on 07:43 - Nov 16 by trampie |
The phrase 'good work if you can get it' springs to mind, most people would not be able to get that kind of package. |
It’s achievable for almost everyone, isolate the area of work you believe will bring that to you and formulate a plan of action how to get it.
Most people who say that phrase usually haven’t even bothered trying. Once you have it, family life isn’t sacrificed, it’s enhanced.
Age is always a barrier to be fair, but let’s say if you are 35 or under (not a hard and fast rule) then the world is your oyster. | |
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| What makes you happy. ? on 08:28 - Nov 16 with 575 views | STID2017 |
| What makes you happy. ? on 07:51 - Nov 16 by mart66 |
It’s achievable for almost everyone, isolate the area of work you believe will bring that to you and formulate a plan of action how to get it.
Most people who say that phrase usually haven’t even bothered trying. Once you have it, family life isn’t sacrificed, it’s enhanced.
Age is always a barrier to be fair, but let’s say if you are 35 or under (not a hard and fast rule) then the world is your oyster. |
What a condescending post.
Flies totally in the face of why the OP created this thread | |
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| What makes you happy. ? on 08:30 - Nov 16 with 573 views | onehunglow |
Maybe this is appropriate.
Trust me,it is easier to be happy rich than poor,therefore hardwork and commitment should bring its rewards.
It's a pity we couldn't go deeper into this as this is a thread for "happy" posts.
Happiness is not always simplistic to attain. |  |
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| What makes you happy. ? on 08:36 - Nov 16 with 562 views | Fireboy2 |
| What makes you happy. ? on 08:28 - Nov 16 by STID2017 |
What a condescending post.
Flies totally in the face of why the OP created this thread |
Don't know why you bother Ged, he's not worth it.
He's starting to let himself down, yet again. |  | | |
| What makes you happy. ? on 08:38 - Nov 16 with 560 views | STID2017 |
| What makes you happy. ? on 08:30 - Nov 16 by onehunglow |
Maybe this is appropriate.
Trust me,it is easier to be happy rich than poor,therefore hardwork and commitment should bring its rewards.
It's a pity we couldn't go deeper into this as this is a thread for "happy" posts.
Happiness is not always simplistic to attain. |
For the majority of us, hard work does not equal financial reward.
Blue collar workers, nurses, doctors, etc IMHO work far harder than some chancer working in a financial institution who is ridiculously rewarded financially.
Likewise sportsmen, film stars and celebrities who would not know real work if it hit them in the face.
Yet many of those richly rewarded end up on drugs, drink, etc.
If that is happiness you can keep it.
I much prefer ( like most have said on here ) enjoying the simpler pleasures | |
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| What makes you happy. ? on 08:40 - Nov 16 with 560 views | mart66 |
| What makes you happy. ? on 08:28 - Nov 16 by STID2017 |
What a condescending post.
Flies totally in the face of why the OP created this thread |
Which part of that is condescending? It is a discussion about work vs family and some jobs being unattainable.
My reply is a message that anyone (mostly anyone) can do anything that they put their mind to and that work can and should enhance family life. Nothing condescending there in the slightest.
I think you have read what you wanted to read there. No idea why 🤷â€â™‚ï¸ | |
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| What makes you happy. ? on 08:45 - Nov 16 with 556 views | STID2017 |
| What makes you happy. ? on 08:40 - Nov 16 by mart66 |
Which part of that is condescending? It is a discussion about work vs family and some jobs being unattainable.
My reply is a message that anyone (mostly anyone) can do anything that they put their mind to and that work can and should enhance family life. Nothing condescending there in the slightest.
I think you have read what you wanted to read there. No idea why 🤷â€â™‚ï¸ |
OP is clearly talking about simple pleasures.
Most of what you boast about is unattainable for many on here.
The fact that you cannot see that is what makes it condescending.
Guess a few on here can boast about what they have achieved / bought / visited / etc.
However unlike you they do not.
The fact you cannot see the difference says it all | |
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| What makes you happy. ? on 08:46 - Nov 16 with 555 views | BryanSwan |
| What makes you happy. ? on 07:35 - Nov 16 by mart66 |
But if you enjoy that job and that job allows you the financial freedom to be able to spend even more time and provide for your family then that job is more than a means to an end, it’s critical to your happiness as it is intrinsically linked to being able to spend that time with them and the security you can provide them.
So having a bigger house and a nice car doesn’t mean you are taking any enjoyment away from family life. I spend the same amount of time (maybe more) with my wife driving my current car (high end) as I did when I had a 10 year old Mini Cooper. This is what I mean by not being “either or”.
I think a lot of people often excuse a lack of ambition or success by saying the prefer spending time with the family. I always say strive to be successful to an extent where it doesn’t impact on the time spent with the family and in fact enhances it as the financial security it provides can be used to make real and special memories.
Take a footballer for example. I know an awful lot of them spiral into a depression when they finish up and yet have all the time in the world on their hands. The key is to find a balance between financial security/success and family, once you start separating them and having the thought process that only one can be achieved then you never maximise either.
Family is great, but family when you can combine that with providing for them and creating incredible memories together is a far better route. I urge everyone to find that balance and ditch the notion that you can only choose one… have it all. Why not? |
"I think a lot of people often excuse a lack of ambition or success by saying the prefer spending time with the family."
Maybe people value different things to yourself.
My ambition is to be the best father i can be and to have a relationship with my kids like I've had with my parents. Wouldn't trade my time there for any amount of money or success. | |
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| What makes you happy. ? on 08:48 - Nov 16 with 554 views | STID2017 |
| What makes you happy. ? on 08:46 - Nov 16 by BryanSwan |
"I think a lot of people often excuse a lack of ambition or success by saying the prefer spending time with the family."
Maybe people value different things to yourself.
My ambition is to be the best father i can be and to have a relationship with my kids like I've had with my parents. Wouldn't trade my time there for any amount of money or success. |
Succinctly put Bryan | |
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| What makes you happy. ? on 08:54 - Nov 16 with 549 views | mart66 |
| What makes you happy. ? on 08:45 - Nov 16 by STID2017 |
OP is clearly talking about simple pleasures.
Most of what you boast about is unattainable for many on here.
The fact that you cannot see that is what makes it condescending.
Guess a few on here can boast about what they have achieved / bought / visited / etc.
However unlike you they do not.
The fact you cannot see the difference says it all |
No he isn’t, the OP is asking what makes you happy. It could be anything.
The OP even mentioned his job and it’s financial rewards as part of it.
Looks like you are trying to cause an argument for some reason.
As I said, it’s not unattainable for anyone, that’s a negative way to look at it. My message is a positive one, that most people can certainly achieve what they want to achieve if they follow the right process and are determined to do it.
Those that enjoy the simple pleasures can do so at an enhanced level then. | |
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| What makes you happy. ? on 08:55 - Nov 16 with 548 views | mart66 |
| What makes you happy. ? on 08:46 - Nov 16 by BryanSwan |
"I think a lot of people often excuse a lack of ambition or success by saying the prefer spending time with the family."
Maybe people value different things to yourself.
My ambition is to be the best father i can be and to have a relationship with my kids like I've had with my parents. Wouldn't trade my time there for any amount of money or success. |
Again, my point is that it shouldn’t be either or.
Why would your ambition to be the best father you can be and spend time with your family impact on your ambition to also provide them with the best possible life?
Do both. You don’t have to trade one for the other.
[Post edited 16 Nov 2022 8:56]
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| What makes you happy. ? on 09:01 - Nov 16 with 539 views | STID2017 |
Just about to take my dog for a walk.
Seeing the joy in his face is far more rewarding than any monetary reward for me.
It is often said " I prefer dogs / animals to people "
I understand that point with regards to some. | |
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| What makes you happy. ? on 09:07 - Nov 16 with 530 views | Sirjohnalot |
| What makes you happy. ? on 08:54 - Nov 16 by mart66 |
No he isn’t, the OP is asking what makes you happy. It could be anything.
The OP even mentioned his job and it’s financial rewards as part of it.
Looks like you are trying to cause an argument for some reason.
As I said, it’s not unattainable for anyone, that’s a negative way to look at it. My message is a positive one, that most people can certainly achieve what they want to achieve if they follow the right process and are determined to do it.
Those that enjoy the simple pleasures can do so at an enhanced level then. |
I did not equate my job with financial rewards. I simply said I was in a financial position where I’m able to look after people. I didn’t boast about (high end) cars, all expenses paid trips and patronise everyone.
You know exactly what you’re doing. | | | |
| What makes you happy. ? on 09:15 - Nov 16 with 514 views | mart66 |
| What makes you happy. ? on 09:07 - Nov 16 by Sirjohnalot |
I did not equate my job with financial rewards. I simply said I was in a financial position where I’m able to look after people. I didn’t boast about (high end) cars, all expenses paid trips and patronise everyone.
You know exactly what you’re doing. |
So the title should be:-
“What makes you happy - but it must be what I find is an acceptable answer”.
You are doing your usual thing of starting arguments with people you don’t like again. The discussion was not brought up by me, it was said TO ME that family life is more important than having a nice car and a nice house.
My response was I spend just as much time with my family in my current nice car than I did in my old not so nice car. I also said that I ensured I was in a job where my work actually enhances my family life and doesn’t overtake it.
It’s a very simple discussion about there not being a need to separate family OR work, you can do both and enhance both aspects.
Which is why you said you have financial rewards and can help your friends and family out. Absolutely no different to what I said, only I explained it in more depth. Surely if I am boasting by mentioning those things because you think others may not have it, then others are boasting by mentioning family - what if some don’t have family?
I’m afraid you are going to have to start respecting people’s views on here, it’s not the Jon show. Everyone has a different view on things and they should be allowed to discuss it without you trying to stifle the discussion because you don’t like it. This is an open discussion. [Post edited 16 Nov 2022 10:10]
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| What makes you happy. ? on 09:18 - Nov 16 with 511 views | mart66 |
| What makes you happy. ? on 09:01 - Nov 16 by STID2017 |
Just about to take my dog for a walk.
Seeing the joy in his face is far more rewarding than any monetary reward for me.
It is often said " I prefer dogs / animals to people "
I understand that point with regards to some. |
But you can take your dog for a walk and also have ambition in your work life. You can still see the joy in his face regardless of what you have decided to do as a career.
As I keep saying, it’s not one or the other. Those that keep making the point that it’s either work or career are simply wrong, I know that for a fact and am living evidence of it.
So is Jon evidence of that by the sounds of it - although for some reason he’s now pretending he didn’t list financial rewards in his OP as the things that make him happy. | |
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| What makes you happy. ? on 09:25 - Nov 16 with 501 views | mart66 |
| What makes you happy. ? on 09:07 - Nov 16 by Sirjohnalot |
I did not equate my job with financial rewards. I simply said I was in a financial position where I’m able to look after people. I didn’t boast about (high end) cars, all expenses paid trips and patronise everyone.
You know exactly what you’re doing. |
I just read it again.
Your OP specifically says that:
You live in a nice area
You like your job
You can financially look after people
How is that NOT boasting? Yet me making a point about work life and car (in response to someone who brought those two specific points up) IS boasting?
You are asking people about what makes them happy in their life, then accusing them of boasting when they answer you or discuss the theory of it. I knew that is what would happen the second I saw the title.
I was planning to steer clear in order to not fall into the trap, but when the discussion of work vs family came up, I had to interject as I have experience of the notion of both being attainable.
Maybe you need to keep your personal feelings towards others in check as others pointed out a few weeks back. You aren’t doing the site any favours by this attitude. | |
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| What makes you happy. ? on 09:27 - Nov 16 with 500 views | BryanSwan |
| What makes you happy. ? on 08:55 - Nov 16 by mart66 |
Again, my point is that it shouldn’t be either or.
Why would your ambition to be the best father you can be and spend time with your family impact on your ambition to also provide them with the best possible life?
Do both. You don’t have to trade one for the other.
[Post edited 16 Nov 2022 8:56]
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Maybe you and I just care about different things.
I put very little value on my job, items, money. What i value is my time and using it to the best of my ability.
For many it is a direct choice, including myself. If i wished to progress i would need to up my hours and work weekends. That just isnt worth it to me. | |
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| What makes you happy. ? on 09:30 - Nov 16 with 495 views | mart66 |
| What makes you happy. ? on 09:27 - Nov 16 by BryanSwan |
Maybe you and I just care about different things.
I put very little value on my job, items, money. What i value is my time and using it to the best of my ability.
For many it is a direct choice, including myself. If i wished to progress i would need to up my hours and work weekends. That just isnt worth it to me. |
Depends what field of work you target.
We aren’t talking about being the CEO of a major global operation which certainly requires extra hours. Often people who work in Tesco will work just as many hours as those who work in leading financial institutions or any other high level area of work.
One doesn’t have to detract from the other, they can compliment each other. | |
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| What makes you happy. ? on 09:31 - Nov 16 with 491 views | Sirjohnalot |
| What makes you happy. ? on 09:25 - Nov 16 by mart66 |
I just read it again.
Your OP specifically says that:
You live in a nice area
You like your job
You can financially look after people
How is that NOT boasting? Yet me making a point about work life and car (in response to someone who brought those two specific points up) IS boasting?
You are asking people about what makes them happy in their life, then accusing them of boasting when they answer you or discuss the theory of it. I knew that is what would happen the second I saw the title.
I was planning to steer clear in order to not fall into the trap, but when the discussion of work vs family came up, I had to interject as I have experience of the notion of both being attainable.
Maybe you need to keep your personal feelings towards others in check as others pointed out a few weeks back. You aren’t doing the site any favours by this attitude. |
Whatever you think.
Have a good day | | | |
| What makes you happy. ? on 09:37 - Nov 16 with 483 views | mart66 |
| What makes you happy. ? on 09:31 - Nov 16 by Sirjohnalot |
Whatever you think.
Have a good day |
Not about thinking Jon, just about reading what is clearly written.
You are letting your biases cloud your commentary and the forum is suffering as a result, as has been pointed out by others recently.
You can’t comment on your superior finances, excellent living conditions and job then criticise someone for highlighting similar things after opening the floor for people to discuss what makes THEM happy. It’s ludicrous behaviour.
I hope you also have a good day. | |
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| What makes you happy. ? on 09:48 - Nov 16 with 460 views | trampie |
| What makes you happy. ? on 02:23 - Nov 16 by mart66 |
There does seem to be an idea among many that you can either be successful OR happy. I have never seen it as a choice between the two, I have always endeavoured to maintain both.
The higher you go in your profession, the more time you tend to have and the better the perks which translate into better standards of living. For example I have unlimited paid holidays which allows me to go around the world with my now wife on top of the business trips she often joins me on.
Next month I will be in Vegas with my wife before heading to New York for Xmas, all covered due to it being off the back of business trips. So for me, happiness, material goods and professional success doesn’t have to be decided between - it’s all rolled into one happy package.
The more people that adopt that mindset the more fulfilled they will be in both their work life and home life. |
For most people it is either or.
Unlimited paid holidays sounds like a fantastic job, I don't know anybody that has unlimited paid holidays, does that mean you can spend an entire year on holiday and get paid ?
As regards work/family balance you say 'my now wife', have you just got married - if so do you have much experience of work/life balance.
I don't doubt what you say but your position seems unobtainable for most people. | |
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| What makes you happy. ? on 09:57 - Nov 16 with 442 views | mart66 |
| What makes you happy. ? on 09:48 - Nov 16 by trampie |
For most people it is either or.
Unlimited paid holidays sounds like a fantastic job, I don't know anybody that has unlimited paid holidays, does that mean you can spend an entire year on holiday and get paid ?
As regards work/family balance you say 'my now wife', have you just got married - if so do you have much experience of work/life balance.
I don't doubt what you say but your position seems unobtainable for most people. |
For most people they say it’s either or, but it doesn’t have to be. People can do whatever they put their mind to, within reason.
Unlimited paid holidays is a perk in a sense but there is a feeling that nobody should take the Micky. It works both ways, as the company also don’t have to pay out unused holiday entitlement when leaving. Most people will take between 5/6 weeks. A full year holiday wouldn’t get approved, it must align with the interests of the business also. But it’s essentially a take what you need (within reason) policy. Something that many companies are now starting to adopt such as Netflix, LinkedIn etc
I have been with my partner for 15 years, living together for 14 of those. Married this year as my work requires me to travel to America for long periods of time and they do not recognise long term relationships as visa dependants. The further we have both progressed in our careers the more time we have been able to spend with each other and more memories we have been able to create. | |
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