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Shìt Joke thread..... 21:41 - Nov 20 with 90179 viewsSwanjaxs

My blond 19 year old next door neighbour has just asked me if I know about missing items from her washing line? ...

I nearly shìt her knickers 😮


You might think I've forgotten, but one day, when you least expect it, my time will come.
Poll: Celtic and Rangers should be fast tracked into the Championship ASAP

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Shìt Joke thread..... on 17:44 - May 4 with 2613 viewsWarwickHunt

Guy wanders into a doctor’s surgery...

Yes, what can I do for you?
Err... I dunno.
Well, is there anything wrong with you?
Yeah - I think I’m a moth.
Well, I’m afraid you need to see a psychiatrist.
Oh yeah, I know that.
Well, why did you come in?
Your light was on.
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Shìt Joke thread..... on 17:55 - May 4 with 2604 viewstheloneranger

What’s the difference between your wife and your job?



After 10 years ... Your job will still suck!!

Everyday above ground ... Is a good day! 😎

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Shìt Joke thread..... on 23:24 - May 4 with 2501 viewsbuilthjack

China has a new snack pot It's called Not Poodle.

Swansea Indepenent Poster Of The Year 2021. Dr P / Mart66 / Roathie / Parlay / E20/ Duffle was 2nd, but he is deluded and thinks in his little twisted brain that he won. Poor sod. We let him win this year, as he has cried for a whole year. His 14 usernames, bless his cotton socks.

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Shìt Joke thread..... on 01:50 - May 5 with 2478 viewsdizietsma

Policeman: Where were you on the night in question?

Englishman: Upper-Ramsbottom

Welshman: Aye, me too.
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Shìt Joke thread..... on 03:26 - May 5 with 2464 viewsGlyn1

MODS PLEASE! For the love of God, please close this down. I've read every one of these and it's doing my head in. Funny, mind. OK, just a few more, I can handle it.

Poll: Who should be our next manager? Please name them.

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Shìt Joke thread..... on 08:05 - May 5 with 2440 viewsdna

I've just found out who owns Toyah Wilcox's local Chinese restaurant -

"It's a Mr Wee"
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Shìt Joke thread..... on 09:06 - May 5 with 2418 viewstheloneranger

I saw a sign today that made me p1ss myself.

It said ... "TOILETS CLOSED"

Everyday above ground ... Is a good day! 😎

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Shìt Joke thread..... on 12:22 - May 5 with 2382 viewsSwanjaxs

I said to my wife, "I saw a woman with her tits out on the No 28 bus to Penlan feeding her son." She said, "It's natural." "Natural?" I replied, "She was giving him crisps."
[Post edited 5 May 2020 12:22]

You might think I've forgotten, but one day, when you least expect it, my time will come.
Poll: Celtic and Rangers should be fast tracked into the Championship ASAP

2
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Shìt Joke thread..... on 16:46 - May 5 with 2306 viewstheloneranger

My wife asked me, "Does my arse look big in these trousers?? and for once please give me a complement"

I replied, "You've got perfect fvcking eyesight"

Everyday above ground ... Is a good day! 😎

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Shìt Joke thread..... on 16:49 - May 7 with 2168 viewssainthelens

Had my phone bill last week, £800 ! Was one of those sex chat lines.
Word of warning lads , never ring Stuttering Sluts.
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Shìt Joke thread..... on 18:35 - May 7 with 2133 viewsBest_loser

When I was a child one of my Christmas presents was an action man

I was puzzled why it was in a longer box than normal

It was an Italian army soldier

Had his hands up
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Shìt Joke thread..... on 18:39 - May 7 with 2124 viewstheloneranger

When I was a boy, I laid in my twin sized bed and wondered where my brother was.

Everyday above ground ... Is a good day! 😎

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Shìt Joke thread..... on 18:40 - May 7 with 2121 viewssainthelens

For almost a week now I've had dreams about being a horse.
5 nights on the trot.
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Shìt Joke thread..... on 18:44 - May 7 with 2115 viewsHighjack

The doctor said to me “try not to eat anything fatty.” I said “you mean like bacon or sausages?” He said “no, fatty. Try not to eat anything.”

The creatures outside looked from pig to man, and from man to pig, and from pig to man again; but already it was impossible to say which was which.
Poll: Should Dippy Drakeford do us all a massive favour and just bog off?

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Shìt Joke thread..... on 18:46 - May 7 with 2109 viewstheloneranger

Why did the spvnk cross the road? ...

Because I put the wrong sock on this morning!!

Everyday above ground ... Is a good day! 😎

1
Shìt Joke thread..... on 19:01 - May 7 with 2086 viewsBest_loser

A woman collapsed in the street and a large concerned crowd gather around her

A guy pushed his way through them all untill he reached the front

Are you a doctor somebody asked him

No, I'm a nosey b@stard
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Shìt Joke thread..... on 21:14 - May 7 with 2044 viewsJoe_bradshaw

I once had lunch with Bobby Fischer and there was a check tablecloth.

It took him two hours to pass me the salt.

Planet Swans Prediction League Winner Season 2013-14. Runner up 2014_15.
Poll: How many points clear of relegation will we be on Saturday night?

4
Shìt Joke thread..... on 22:30 - May 7 with 2003 viewsBest_loser

Real Madrid 3 surreal Madrid fish
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Shìt Joke thread..... on 12:51 - May 8 with 1920 viewsSwanjaxs

Shìt Joke thread..... on 22:30 - May 7 by Best_loser

Real Madrid 3 surreal Madrid fish


What is black and white and black and white and black and white? A Swans fan rolling down a hill!

You might think I've forgotten, but one day, when you least expect it, my time will come.
Poll: Celtic and Rangers should be fast tracked into the Championship ASAP

1
Shìt Joke thread..... on 12:57 - May 8 with 1907 viewsJoe_bradshaw

Did you hear about the thirsty dyslexic who walked into a bra?

Planet Swans Prediction League Winner Season 2013-14. Runner up 2014_15.
Poll: How many points clear of relegation will we be on Saturday night?

2
Shìt Joke thread..... on 13:01 - May 8 with 3578 viewsSwanjaxs

Shìt Joke thread..... on 12:57 - May 8 by Joe_bradshaw

Did you hear about the thirsty dyslexic who walked into a bra?


Or what about the dyslexic devil worshipper?

He sold his sole to Santa 🎅

You might think I've forgotten, but one day, when you least expect it, my time will come.
Poll: Celtic and Rangers should be fast tracked into the Championship ASAP

1
Shìt Joke thread..... on 13:07 - May 8 with 3567 viewsjack2jack

Shìt Joke thread..... on 18:44 - May 7 by Highjack

The doctor said to me “try not to eat anything fatty.” I said “you mean like bacon or sausages?” He said “no, fatty. Try not to eat anything.”


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Shìt Joke thread..... on 19:57 - May 8 with 3478 viewsSwanjaxs


You might think I've forgotten, but one day, when you least expect it, my time will come.
Poll: Celtic and Rangers should be fast tracked into the Championship ASAP

1
Shìt Joke thread..... on 00:12 - May 9 with 3396 viewstheloneranger

Have you heard about the guy who discovered that he's both dyslexic and gay?

He's still in Daniel!

Everyday above ground ... Is a good day! 😎

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Shìt Joke thread..... on 01:43 - May 9 with 3382 viewsairedale

To use the current definition, the last couple of pages of jokes have been hilarious.
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