The Saturday prior to the opening day of the season traditionally sees a home friendly being played, this one will be no different, however it will see an extra addition to the schedule, the unveiling of the official Red & white wall.

This will be held at 2.45pm in front of around 6,000 invited guests, all of whom will have spent around 4 hours trying to but a ticket for the game in the Northam End on our chaotic ticketing system, although this number is expected to be slightly less due to the fact that around 10% of these tickets won't work at the turnstile and those unfortunate fans will be queueing at the ticket office trying to get things sorted.

It had originally hoped to have around three times this number at the ceremony, but this proved logistically impossible when it was realised around 10,000 fans displaced from their seats last season, will still be outside the stadium desperately trying to find out which entrance they now have to use, where their seats are, finding that they can't get to the stadium by their usual route now and then that the turnstiles can't take the new mobile phone tickets.

August 17 – opening weekend

Beginning on Saturday 17 August, the season will consist of 33 weekends, four midweek rounds and one Bank Holiday match week.

In keeping with previous commitments made to clubs to address the congested schedule across Christmas and New Year, arrangements will be made to allow more rest time over three of the festive match rounds, with no club playing within 60 hours of another match. There will also be no fixture on 24 December 2024.

It should be noted here that should the TV companies wish to do so, all of these arrangements could well be scrapped at short notice with no consideration to the actual supporters who go to see the games.

Mid September- Official Scapegoat Unveiling Day

The second home game of the season usually sees the wheat being separated from the chafe and this season will be no different, however what will change is that the club now recognise the fans opinions and have taken on board the fact that they pay their money and are entitled to their opinion.

Initially there will be four candidates voted for on social media by phone during the game, at the end of the game the winner will be brought back on the pitch to take the "acclaim" from the fans and afterwards will sit in one of the newly constructed "Saints Stocks" in one of the fan zones. Branded rotten fruit & veg will be available for sale so all supporters can enjoy the experience.

For those unable to produce enough saliva, they will be able to buy some in pint mugs for only £4.99, so they will be able to join in the traditional frothing at the mouth after Sekou Mara has come on as a substitute in the 5th minute of injury time.

Supporters are being urged not to take into account actual stats, but to select their candidates purely on unsubstantiated bias.

October 12th Tippy Tappy Football Day

With an international break meaning no Premier League football, this has designated Tippy Tappy Football day, supporters will be invited to become righteously indignant and demand that the manager be sacked on social media, despite the fact that a freak set of late winners has left us sat in 5th place going into the October break.

Saturday 21st December Supporter Amnesty Day

With the season of goodwill approaching and the team sat in 3rd place, those supporters who had declared on social media that we would be relegated by Halloween & that they would never go again as long as Russell Martin is still in charge will be invited to anonymously purchase a Half Season ticket.

Saturday 25th January 2025 Moan about weakened team day

With Saints going out of the FA Cup to Crewe in the 4th round after Russell Martin priorities the League above the cup ahead of an important 1st v 3rd Premier League fixture the following week, fans are invited to take to social media to demand why he didn't play his first choice side.

Mid April Frothing at the mouth day

With Manchester City now blatantly ignoring the Financial Fair play rules and buying players outside of the transfer window, Saints are finally ruled out of the Premier League title race, despite being 15 points clear of City with only 4 games remaining, it is expected that City will just take the Premier League to court and get them to add points to their total as they can afford the legal expenses.

This will not be taken into account by some Saints fans who will demand that Russell Martin be sacked immediately despite being already guaranteed a 4th place finish and a Champions League place.

Sunday 25 May – final game of the season

The season will conclude on Sunday 25 May with all 11 matches kicking off simultaneously. The extra match will involve Manchester City who will be allowed to play two games on this day to ensure that they get the 6 points needed so they can claim a Premier League record, In the unlikely event that they don't get the full 6 points then a further game will be played later in the afternoon where City will take on a Forest Green Rovers Under 11 side.

Photo: Action Images

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SaintPaulVW added 11:41 - Jun 5 Brilliant. Very funny. Although could I add April 28th which is the official start of the first team's beach holiday season, once relegation has been avoided. That then goes on until the end of the season.
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