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Corny Joke Warning 16:56 - Aug 29 with 862953 viewsBoston

What vehicle do electricians prefer to drive?

A Volts Wagon.

Poll: Thank God The Seaons Over.

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Corny Joke Warning on 19:09 - Dec 31 with 4689 viewsEsox_Lucius

I had to fix my hydraulic car lifting device today. I will be authoring a small booklet to help others who may need some help should they need it.
It's title is Jack: The Repair.

The grass is always greener.

0
Corny Joke Warning on 21:02 - Jan 1 with 4478 viewsLblock

Have made my New Years resolution

I’m going to chuck it all in and work with dolphins

You gotta have a porpoise in life

Cherish and enjoy life.... this ain't no dress rehearsal

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Corny Joke Warning on 23:24 - Jan 1 with 4368 viewsGaryT

I've decided that from Jan 1st I'm only watching TV in 4K.

That's my new years resolution.
1
Corny Joke Warning on 12:03 - Jan 4 with 4138 viewsjohann28

Karl Marx of course is a household name.

Such a pity that no-one knows his sister Onya, who invented the starting gun.
2
Corny Joke Warning on 13:52 - Jan 13 with 3809 viewshantssi

I’ve just seen that Elton Johns pet rabbit has apparently run the 100m in sub 10 secs!

It’s a Little Fit Bunny!
2
Corny Joke Warning on 09:22 - Jan 17 with 3474 viewsToast_R

I was going to make a joke about Sodium but then I thought, Na, no one will get it.
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Corny Joke Warning on 20:37 - Jan 20 with 3225 viewsBoston

I've been a house builder for decades but recently I've developed an apartment complex.

Poll: Thank God The Seaons Over.

1
Corny Joke Warning on 10:45 - Jan 26 with 2859 viewshantssi

What do you do with a criminal rainbow?
Put them in prism. It's a light sentence, but it gives them time to reflect.
2
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Corny Joke Warning on 16:43 - Jan 29 with 2617 viewsBoston

Do you know where you'd be without builders like me?


Outside.

Poll: Thank God The Seaons Over.

2
Corny Joke Warning on 14:40 - Feb 2 with 2314 viewsqprphil

My wife said to me have you noticed the new couple that moved in opposite.?
He gives her a big kiss every morning when he leaves for work.
How come you never do that.?
For one thing I don't go to work, and for another thing, I don't know the woman.
4
Corny Joke Warning on 16:46 - Feb 2 with 2226 viewsBoston

Woman gets a phone call from her carpenter husband.

He informs her he's just cut off a finger.

"Oh dear god! The whole finger?" she asks.

"Nah, the one next to it."
[Post edited 2 Feb 16:47]

Poll: Thank God The Seaons Over.

2
Corny Joke Warning on 10:20 - Feb 4 with 1918 viewsEsox_Lucius

I jumped into a taxi in Colorado being driven by a Grizzly bear. My big mistake was shouting "Mall please" to it.

The grass is always greener.

1
Corny Joke Warning on 15:38 - Feb 10 with 1623 viewsBoston

I build half a dozen staircases per year.
Got good enough at it that I decided to write an instruction manual.
It's a step-by-step guide.

Poll: Thank God The Seaons Over.

1
Corny Joke Warning on 18:52 - Feb 10 with 1469 viewsEsox_Lucius

I've been researching my family tree and it appears my family are all descended from a family in Transylvania. I'm gutted, I can't even look at myself in the mirror.

The grass is always greener.

3
Corny Joke Warning on 08:21 - Feb 12 with 1159 viewsloftboy

Harry Redknapp is having a dispute with Tottenham Hotspur after being handed a letter for an unpaid electricity bill at the Spurs training facilities for £15,000.

After ringing the club and saying that there must have been a mistake he was informed that he was the last person to enter the trophy room in 2008 and left the light on.

favourite cheese mature Cheddar. FFS there is no such thing as the EPL
Poll: Are you watching the World Cup

3
Corny Joke Warning on 13:37 - Feb 12 with 1061 viewsloftboy

Did you know if you talk to cows you get more milk?


It goes in one ear and out the Udder!

favourite cheese mature Cheddar. FFS there is no such thing as the EPL
Poll: Are you watching the World Cup

2
Corny Joke Warning on 19:52 - Feb 13 with 844 viewsEsox_Lucius

A 2nd grade teacher decides to teach sex ed. to her class. She starts out by drawing a
penis on the chalk board and asks the class, "Does anyone know what this is?" And little
Johnny says, "Yes, my dad has 2 of them!"And the teacher says, "Are you sure about that?"
And little Johnny says, "Yes, he uses a small skinny one to go to the bathroom, and a big
long one to brush the babysitter's teeth."

The grass is always greener.

5
Corny Joke Warning on 01:04 - Feb 14 with 723 viewsBoston

Corny Joke Warning on 19:52 - Feb 13 by Esox_Lucius

A 2nd grade teacher decides to teach sex ed. to her class. She starts out by drawing a
penis on the chalk board and asks the class, "Does anyone know what this is?" And little
Johnny says, "Yes, my dad has 2 of them!"And the teacher says, "Are you sure about that?"
And little Johnny says, "Yes, he uses a small skinny one to go to the bathroom, and a big
long one to brush the babysitter's teeth."


The trouble with being a penis is that your neighbours an arsehole.

Poll: Thank God The Seaons Over.

1
Corny Joke Warning on 19:27 - Feb 17 with 325 viewsEsox_Lucius

I turned to my work colleague and said "There's a cold one calling my name out, fancy one too?"
Upon reflection, not the sort of thing that one should say in a mortuary.

The grass is always greener.

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