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Massive QPR dilemma - What would you do? 09:55 - Mar 11 with 9202 viewsKonk

You meet a witch in the White Horse, you get chatting, buy her a couple of drinks, the conversation turns to football, and she makes a proposition. She will cast a spell to guarantee that QPR will win the league once every five years for the rest of your life, with two FA cups thrown in every decade. The witch will also transform Loftus Road into a 30,000 stadium with loads of legroom. In return, you have to get her another drink, a bag of nuts, and promise to do the following:

1) You cannot tell anyone about the deal you’ve made with the witch.
2) You will never go to watch Rangers again. Ever. You can’t even watch them on the telly.
3) You have to spend the rest of your life wearing a Chelsea shirt, Chelsea tracksuit bottoms and a Chelsea puffa jacket. Even when it’s hot. If you have to wear a suit for a wedding/funeral/christening, you have to wear a Chelsea tie, tie-pin and cuff-links.
4) If anyone asks which team you support, you have to say, “I'm a massive Chelsea fan”.
5) You have to go down the pub to watch every Chelsea game, and when Chelsea score, you have to march round the pub singing “Blue is the colour” whilst pretending to play a big bass drum.
6) Any time Chelsea get to a cup final, you have to go down the pub with celery taped to your head, and push a lawn mower round the pub singing, “Ten men went to mow…”, all fu cking game.

If you willingly breach any of these conditions, QPR will never score another goal.

What would you do? Would you make that deal or would you walk away? If you'd walk away, why?
[Post edited 11 Mar 2021 10:00]

Fulham FC: It's the taking part that counts

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Massive QPR dilemma - What would you do? on 09:58 - Mar 11 with 5953 viewsnadera78

100% walk away
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Massive QPR dilemma - What would you do? on 10:00 - Mar 11 with 5933 viewscolinallcars

There's no Real Ale in the White Horse....
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Massive QPR dilemma - What would you do? on 10:01 - Mar 11 with 5917 viewsMetallica_Hoop

I'd tell her to make it for Chelsea (or possibly Fulham if I was in a nasty mood) and then tell the person next to me at the bar all about the deal.

Beer and Beef has made us what we are - The Prince Regent

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Massive QPR dilemma - What would you do? on 10:12 - Mar 11 with 5877 viewsKonk

Massive QPR dilemma - What would you do? on 09:58 - Mar 11 by nadera78

100% walk away


Okay, what if you don't' have to take a lawn mower to the pub for cup finals?

Fulham FC: It's the taking part that counts

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Massive QPR dilemma - What would you do? on 10:19 - Mar 11 with 5857 viewsTomS

I'd point out that supporting a team over a lifetime is never about savouring enduring success, it's about managing disappointment.

Success, on the odd occasion when the random number generator of fate selects your club, is celebrated as it happens so infrequently.

Supporters of the super-clubs never get to experience what we do, and they are the poorer for it.
[Post edited 11 Mar 2021 14:22]
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Massive QPR dilemma - What would you do? on 10:30 - Mar 11 with 5804 viewsKonk

Massive QPR dilemma - What would you do? on 10:19 - Mar 11 by TomS

I'd point out that supporting a team over a lifetime is never about savouring enduring success, it's about managing disappointment.

Success, on the odd occasion when the random number generator of fate selects your club, is celebrated as it happens so infrequently.

Supporters of the super-clubs never get to experience what we do, and they are the poorer for it.
[Post edited 11 Mar 2021 14:22]


I couldn't agree more. I went to watch Widnes v Wigan in the Challenge cup final years ago, with a mate from Widnes. Wigan had won it for the previous six years or something, won it again, and after the game, their fans were just wandering back to the tube looking like they'd lost, whereas all the Widnes lot we were with, would still be celebrating now.

Okay, I'm changing the dilemma. You have to get the witch another drink, some nuts and have Kerry Dixon's face tattooed on your ars e. That's it. In return, Rangers win the league twice, and the cup three times during your lifetime.

Fulham FC: It's the taking part that counts

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Massive QPR dilemma - What would you do? on 10:31 - Mar 11 with 5793 viewsW7Ranger

Has she got nice tits?
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Massive QPR dilemma - What would you do? on 10:32 - Mar 11 with 5791 viewsW7Ranger

I mean, what's her personality like?
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Massive QPR dilemma - What would you do? on 10:34 - Mar 11 with 5772 viewsEsox_Lucius

Massive QPR dilemma - What would you do? on 10:30 - Mar 11 by Konk

I couldn't agree more. I went to watch Widnes v Wigan in the Challenge cup final years ago, with a mate from Widnes. Wigan had won it for the previous six years or something, won it again, and after the game, their fans were just wandering back to the tube looking like they'd lost, whereas all the Widnes lot we were with, would still be celebrating now.

Okay, I'm changing the dilemma. You have to get the witch another drink, some nuts and have Kerry Dixon's face tattooed on your ars e. That's it. In return, Rangers win the league twice, and the cup three times during your lifetime.


Yep, I'd do that every time. The KD tattoo would be approx 5mm x 5mm and a skin coloured monotone. The devil is in the detail.

The grass is always greener.

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Massive QPR dilemma - What would you do? on 10:42 - Mar 11 with 5734 viewsDorse

Massive QPR dilemma - What would you do? on 10:32 - Mar 11 by W7Ranger

I mean, what's her personality like?


Dunno. I was distracted by her tits.

'What do we want? We don't know! When do we want it? Now!'

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Massive QPR dilemma - What would you do? on 10:43 - Mar 11 with 5729 viewsSpaghetti_Hoops

I'd nominate Northernr.
[Post edited 11 Mar 2021 10:44]
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Massive QPR dilemma - What would you do? on 10:45 - Mar 11 with 5716 viewssimmo

I'd walk away on 2) alone....

Success is nice, especially an FA Cup which would be close to a realistic pinnacle for me, but winning things is about number 37 in reasons I watch QPR. Fck everyone else

ask Beavis I get nothing Butthead

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Massive QPR dilemma - What would you do? on 10:49 - Mar 11 with 5695 viewsNorthernr

Massive QPR dilemma - What would you do? on 10:43 - Mar 11 by Spaghetti_Hoops

I'd nominate Northernr.
[Post edited 11 Mar 2021 10:44]


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Massive QPR dilemma - What would you do? on 10:54 - Mar 11 with 5682 viewsKonk

Massive QPR dilemma - What would you do? on 10:45 - Mar 11 by simmo

I'd walk away on 2) alone....

Success is nice, especially an FA Cup which would be close to a realistic pinnacle for me, but winning things is about number 37 in reasons I watch QPR. Fck everyone else


But think of the joy all that winning would bring to your fellow fans? And you could sit there in the pub before/after games, watching them celebrating winning the league, and even though you were sat in a Chelsea puffa jacket and all your mates now thought you were a complete oddball, you'd have the quiet satisfaction of knowing you'd made it all possible. A bit like if there was no FFP and you spent £1bn on your club. A new stadium on the LR site, the club's future secured in W12...is no one even tempted for the common good?!

Fulham FC: It's the taking part that counts

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Massive QPR dilemma - What would you do? on 11:02 - Mar 11 with 5657 viewsQPR_John

Massive QPR dilemma - What would you do? on 10:54 - Mar 11 by Konk

But think of the joy all that winning would bring to your fellow fans? And you could sit there in the pub before/after games, watching them celebrating winning the league, and even though you were sat in a Chelsea puffa jacket and all your mates now thought you were a complete oddball, you'd have the quiet satisfaction of knowing you'd made it all possible. A bit like if there was no FFP and you spent £1bn on your club. A new stadium on the LR site, the club's future secured in W12...is no one even tempted for the common good?!


Would you for the sake of Fulham
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Massive QPR dilemma - What would you do? on 11:10 - Mar 11 with 5626 viewsSpaghetti_Hoops

A new 30,000 stadium on the site of LR is completely impractical. The rest of your ideas seem OK.
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Massive QPR dilemma - What would you do? on 11:13 - Mar 11 with 5609 viewsMick_S

Massive QPR dilemma - What would you do? on 11:10 - Mar 11 by Spaghetti_Hoops

A new 30,000 stadium on the site of LR is completely impractical. The rest of your ideas seem OK.


Not if we dig down it's not.

Did I ever mention that I was in Minder?

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Massive QPR dilemma - What would you do? on 11:13 - Mar 11 with 5606 viewsted_hendrix

I stopped meeting witches in pubs 12 Years ago.

My Father had a profound influence on me, he was a lunatic.

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Massive QPR dilemma - What would you do? on 11:15 - Mar 11 with 5597 viewstoboboly

Walk away. I'm not wearing scum

Sexy Asian dwarves wanted.

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Massive QPR dilemma - What would you do? on 11:17 - Mar 11 with 5586 viewsSpaghetti_Hoops

Massive QPR dilemma - What would you do? on 11:13 - Mar 11 by Mick_S

Not if we dig down it's not.


Australians would object.
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Massive QPR dilemma - What would you do? on 11:28 - Mar 11 with 5551 viewssimmo

Massive QPR dilemma - What would you do? on 10:54 - Mar 11 by Konk

But think of the joy all that winning would bring to your fellow fans? And you could sit there in the pub before/after games, watching them celebrating winning the league, and even though you were sat in a Chelsea puffa jacket and all your mates now thought you were a complete oddball, you'd have the quiet satisfaction of knowing you'd made it all possible. A bit like if there was no FFP and you spent £1bn on your club. A new stadium on the LR site, the club's future secured in W12...is no one even tempted for the common good?!


I can't stand quiet satisfaction.

ask Beavis I get nothing Butthead

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Massive QPR dilemma - What would you do? on 11:34 - Mar 11 with 5531 viewsGuppy

If after i had brought her a couple of drinks i would hope the proposition would be something other than football
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Massive QPR dilemma - What would you do? on 11:36 - Mar 11 with 5527 viewsCamberleyR

I'd try and walk away but my feet would probably stick to the carpet.

Poll: Which is the worst QPR team?

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Massive QPR dilemma - What would you do? on 12:57 - Mar 11 with 5354 viewsDorse

Massive QPR dilemma - What would you do? on 11:13 - Mar 11 by ted_hendrix

I stopped meeting witches in pubs 12 Years ago.


Ah, moved on to harpies and succubii. Understandable but if you will go drinking in Mordor, what can you expect?

'What do we want? We don't know! When do we want it? Now!'

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Massive QPR dilemma - What would you do? on 13:00 - Mar 11 with 5343 viewsqprxtc

You can’t miss what you never had.

Aka: f uck that.
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