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Corny Joke Warning 16:56 - Aug 29 with 818611 viewsBoston

What vehicle do electricians prefer to drive?

A Volts Wagon.

Poll: Thank God The Seaons Over.

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Corny Joke Warning on 19:08 - Nov 16 with 6468 viewsRebalhoop

Went into Macdonalds today,asked for a small shake…
Bloke next to me called me weirdo and told me to get out of the toilets…
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Corny Joke Warning on 19:10 - Nov 16 with 6468 viewsBoston

Where do you find a dog with no legs?


Right where you left it.

Poll: Thank God The Seaons Over.

0
Corny Joke Warning on 19:18 - Nov 16 with 6453 viewsRebalhoop

Corny Joke Warning on 19:10 - Nov 16 by Boston

Where do you find a dog with no legs?


Right where you left it.


Do you call him Rothmans…

So you can take him for a drag round the park….?
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Corny Joke Warning on 19:37 - Nov 16 with 6435 viewshubble

Imagine if Una Stubbs had married Idi Amin. Una Amin?

Poll: Who is your player of the season?

1
Corny Joke Warning on 00:50 - Nov 17 with 6267 viewsBoston

I hear Sadiq Khan is going to take action against the number of satellites orbiting the Earth.


He's installing parking meteors.

Poll: Thank God The Seaons Over.

1
Corny Joke Warning on 06:48 - Nov 17 with 6207 viewsSK_hoops

Corny Joke Warning on 00:50 - Nov 17 by Boston

I hear Sadiq Khan is going to take action against the number of satellites orbiting the Earth.


He's installing parking meteors.


I heard they are going to replace him with a female horse. At least you'd still be able to call it the mare of London.
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Corny Joke Warning on 00:13 - Nov 18 with 6035 viewsBoston

Corny Joke Warning on 06:48 - Nov 17 by SK_hoops

I heard they are going to replace him with a female horse. At least you'd still be able to call it the mare of London.


This will occur at night, right?

Poll: Thank God The Seaons Over.

0
Corny Joke Warning on 07:22 - Nov 18 with 5989 viewsPlanetHonneywood

How do you wake Lady Gaga up in the morning?

Poke her face.

'Always In Motion' by John Honney available on amazon.co.uk
Poll: Who should do the Birmingham Frederick?

1
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Corny Joke Warning on 08:37 - Nov 18 with 5950 viewsRebalhoop

If I take my Mrs shopping at Poundland,B@M and Home Bargains,
She lets me munch on her nipples …..

It’s tit for tat
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Corny Joke Warning on 15:16 - Nov 18 with 5877 viewsMick_S

Corny Joke Warning on 19:37 - Nov 16 by hubble

Imagine if Una Stubbs had married Idi Amin. Una Amin?


In other news: Beyoncé has married Roy Castle’s son

Beyoncé Castle. Arf.

Did I ever mention that I was in Minder?

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Corny Joke Warning on 15:58 - Nov 18 with 5858 viewshubble

That's reminded me Mick, did you know Brian Eno has a brother he's never met, by the name of Howard?

Poll: Who is your player of the season?

1
Corny Joke Warning on 16:58 - Nov 18 with 5809 viewsMick_S

Corny Joke Warning on 15:58 - Nov 18 by hubble

That's reminded me Mick, did you know Brian Eno has a brother he's never met, by the name of Howard?


😂

Did I ever mention that I was in Minder?

0
Corny Joke Warning on 22:50 - Nov 18 with 5700 viewsLblock

I stole some Moroccan geezers hat in the restaurant I was in earlier

He went mental, saying he was going to smash the gaff up unless it was returned

I wasn’t going to but…….. in the end I had to Fez up

Cherish and enjoy life.... this ain't no dress rehearsal

0
Corny Joke Warning on 19:45 - Nov 20 with 5488 viewsSonofpugwash

A priest,a minister and a rabbit walk into a bar.The bartender asks the rabbit "What'll ya have?"
The rabbit says "I dunno,I'm only here because of autocorrect".

Poll: Dykes - love him or hate him?

1
Corny Joke Warning on 21:36 - Nov 20 with 5423 viewsLblock

Corny Joke Warning on 09:34 - Aug 30 by Lblock

A priest, a monk and a rabbit walk into a bar

The barman says to the rabbit "what you having"

The rabbit says "No idea mate - I'm only here because of auto-correct"


Ahem

Cherish and enjoy life.... this ain't no dress rehearsal

0
Corny Joke Warning on 22:20 - Nov 20 with 5387 viewsBoston

Why do you get when an elephant skydives?



A big hole.

Poll: Thank God The Seaons Over.

0
Corny Joke Warning on 22:42 - Nov 20 with 5376 viewsBoston

Two atheists go on a date, it all goes rather well, so they return to her house and start undressing.

Her: I know I should have told you this before but, I was a Christian until recently.

Him: No problem, giving up being a Christian is perfectly ok with me.

Her: Thanks, I knew you'd understand, I feel much better now as a Christina.

Poll: Thank God The Seaons Over.

7
Corny Joke Warning on 20:28 - Nov 21 with 5192 viewsEsox_Lucius

I decided to gift my family e-readers for Xmas.
You should have seen the smile on the face of the shop assistant when I asked for 4 Kindles.

The grass is always greener.

1
Corny Joke Warning on 10:43 - Nov 22 with 5056 viewsjohann28

Very pleased with myself - just finished a jigsaw; only took me 6 months. On the box it said 3-5 years.
2
Corny Joke Warning on 21:16 - Nov 22 with 4936 viewsEsox_Lucius

My sister scoffed at me when I told her I was going to build a fully operational car out of spaghetti but you should have seen her face when I drove past 'er.

The grass is always greener.

0
Corny Joke Warning on 17:47 - Nov 24 with 4701 viewsEsox_Lucius

I was walking past the YMCA in town and noticed a teenager sat on the steps stroking a handful of duck feathers.
I said "Young man, there's no need to feel down"

The grass is always greener.

0
Corny Joke Warning on 10:17 - Dec 2 with 4497 viewsEsox_Lucius

I had to chastise Dolly Parton for her maths skills today,
Dolly, 9,2,5, is no way to make 11.

The grass is always greener.

0
Corny Joke Warning on 22:39 - Dec 3 with 4350 viewsacricketer

I went the airport yesterday and disguised myself as luggage. I got carried away!
2
Corny Joke Warning on 16:41 - Dec 5 with 4203 viewsEsox_Lucius

I noticed a broken down car at the side of the road, steam coming out from under the bonnet, a large pool of oil under the front of the car etc. The owner waved me down and asked me if I could help and did I know anything about cars. I told him sorry, but no, I'm a chiropodist he then asked if I could give him a toe.

The grass is always greener.

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Corny Joke Warning on 21:03 - Dec 5 with 4144 viewsSonofpugwash

Went for a run this morning but had to turn back after two minutes because I had forgotten something.

Forgot I was a fat old git who can't run.

Poll: Dykes - love him or hate him?

2
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