| Corny Joke Warning 16:56 - Aug 29 with 818597 views | Boston |
What vehicle do electricians prefer to drive?
A Volts Wagon. |  |
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| Corny Joke Warning on 16:01 - Nov 2 with 9980 views | Esox_Lucius |
A weasel walks into a pub.
The barman goes "What can I get you?"
"Pop" goes the weasel. |  |
| The grass is always greener. |
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| Corny Joke Warning on 16:25 - Nov 2 with 9950 views | Esox_Lucius |
After Brexit the UK won't be able to obtain Venetian blinds. Well that's it then, it's curtains for us all. | |
| The grass is always greener. |
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| Corny Joke Warning on 11:20 - Nov 3 with 9804 views | London_Pride |
OK - I can resist no longer - The Balloon Family Joke.
The Balloon Family go to bed one night but Baby Balloon can not sleep. He is bored. So eventually he gets up from bed and goes into his parents' bedroom. Baby Balloon goes over to Father Balloon and, whilst his father is still sleeping, starts playing with Father Balloon's knot until all the air comes out. He then goes over to Mother Balloon and does the same to her knot. Again all the air comes out.
Baby Balloon knows that he will be in trouble for this so he goes back to his own bedroom but is still bored. Eventually, he starts playing with his own knot and again all the air comes out.
In the morning Baby Balloon goes downstairs where his father is waiting for him looking furious. His father tells him to sit down.
'Son, I am very disappointed in you. Last night, you let me down, you let your mother down but worse of all you let yourself down.' |  | | |
| Corny Joke Warning on 00:41 - Nov 4 with 9708 views | ozranger |
The fact that there’s a highway to hell and only a stairway to heaven says a lot about anticipated traffic numbers |  | | |
| Corny Joke Warning on 11:39 - Nov 4 with 9630 views | Esox_Lucius |
A vegan said to me that people who sell meat are disgusting.
I replied that people who sell fruit and vegetables are grocer. | |
| The grass is always greener. |
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| Corny Joke Warning on 12:09 - Nov 4 with 9615 views | hubble |
I once asked a psychiatrist what the definition of a Freudian slip is. Easy, he said, it's when you mean one thing but you fcuk your mother. I mean say another. |  |
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| Corny Joke Warning on 21:52 - Nov 4 with 9518 views | Esox_Lucius |
I went to my doctor with a bad case of Diarrhoea and asked him to give me something for it.
He said "I can't give any more than 10p a bucket for it". | |
| The grass is always greener. |
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| Corny Joke Warning on 22:31 - Nov 4 with 9497 views | colinallcars |
I've always wanted a personalised number plate but can't afford it. So I changed my name to SO14 DGH. |  | | |
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| Corny Joke Warning on 16:46 - Nov 7 with 9326 views | Esox_Lucius |
Not many people know this but Dickens' book, A Tale Of Two Cities, was first published in a couple of Midlands newspapers. It was the Bicester Times, it was the Worcester Times. | |
| The grass is always greener. |
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| Corny Joke Warning on 18:32 - Nov 7 with 9288 views | johncharles |
Don’t know if I put this up before (oooooeeerr) What’s pink and hard first thing in the morning ?
The Financial Times crossword |  |
| Strong and stable my arse. |
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| Corny Joke Warning on 19:06 - Nov 7 with 9279 views | Esox_Lucius |
When the man who invented the crossword puzzle died he was buried 6 down and 2 across. | |
| The grass is always greener. |
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| Corny Joke Warning on 07:51 - Nov 11 with 9053 views | BlackCrowe |
You know what really drives me up the fckng wall?
my gran's stairlift. |  |
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| Corny Joke Warning on 16:48 - Nov 12 with 8908 views | Esox_Lucius |
After using a moisturiser designed to make you look ten years younger, a nine year old girl has disappeared in the midlands area. | |
| The grass is always greener. |
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| Corny Joke Warning on 20:59 - Nov 12 with 8850 views | Esox_Lucius |
I discovered today that it is illegal in Iceland to have sex whilst you are drunk.
I am not sure if it is the same in Morrisons or Asda; you'll have to check. | |
| The grass is always greener. |
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| Corny Joke Warning on 21:27 - Nov 12 with 8833 views | CiderwithRsie |
| Corny Joke Warning on 16:46 - Nov 7 by Esox_Lucius |
Not many people know this but Dickens' book, A Tale Of Two Cities, was first published in a couple of Midlands newspapers. It was the Bicester Times, it was the Worcester Times. |
I saw this in The Times on Saturday. LFW: always ahead of The Times. | | | |
| Corny Joke Warning on 10:01 - Nov 13 with 8733 views | BathRanger |
A man was accosted by a particularly shabby, smelly beggar who asked him for money for dinner. The man took out his wallet, extracted some money, and asked, "If I give you this money, will you take it and buy whisky?"
"No, I stopped drinking years ago," the beggar said.
"Will you use it to gamble?"
"I don't gamble," said the tramp.
"Will you spend the money on a football ticket?" he asked.
"Are you mad?" said the beggar, "I haven't been to the football in 20 years!"
At which the man exclaims, "Forget the money. I'm going to take you to my home for a terrific dinner cooked by my wife."
The beggar was astounded. "Won't your wife be bothered? I know I'm dirty and I smell pretty bad too."
"That's alright," he replied, "I want her to see what a man looks like when he's given up drink, gambling, and football." |  | | |
| Corny Joke Warning on 08:27 - Nov 14 with 8597 views | Esox_Lucius |
Do any of you technically minded posters know why my DAB radio smells of fish? | |
| The grass is always greener. |
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| Corny Joke Warning on 08:54 - Nov 14 with 8594 views | hubble |
| Corny Joke Warning on 08:27 - Nov 14 by Esox_Lucius |
Do any of you technically minded posters know why my DAB radio smells of fish? |
Probably because you've got it in the wrong plaice and you've been listening to sole to sole. | |
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| Corny Joke Warning on 09:12 - Nov 14 with 8582 views | hopphoops |
| Corny Joke Warning on 08:54 - Nov 14 by hubble |
Probably because you've got it in the wrong plaice and you've been listening to sole to sole. |
He's between a rock and a hard plaice in fact. |  |
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| Corny Joke Warning on 12:28 - Nov 14 with 8549 views | Mick_S |
When is a door not a door?
When it's ajar. |  |
| Did I ever mention that I was in Minder? |
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| Corny Joke Warning on 13:23 - Nov 14 with 8534 views | Esox_Lucius |
| Corny Joke Warning on 09:12 - Nov 14 by hopphoops |
He's between a rock and a hard plaice in fact. |
Salmon must know the reason why, surely? | |
| The grass is always greener. |
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| Corny Joke Warning on 16:53 - Nov 22 with 8275 views | Esox_Lucius |
My wife has come home with a Jehovah's Witness Advent Calendar. I had a sneak peek to see what was in it and behind every door is two of them holding out a Watchtower. | |
| The grass is always greener. |
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| Corny Joke Warning on 17:32 - Nov 22 with 8247 views | Boston |
I have a bumper sticker which says, honk if you want sex with me. Now, there must be something about how I look with a green light, because if I don't move my car.... | |
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| Corny Joke Warning on 17:56 - Nov 22 with 8236 views | Boston |
Britney Spears never did cocaine, but she did have an issue with Federlines. | |
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| Corny Joke Warning on 18:11 - Nov 22 with 8218 views | Boston |
When I was a kid, we were driving down a country lane when my cousin told me that there was a magic tractor in front of us. I was a little surprised but he was right, five minutes later it turned into a field. | |
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