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Sign At B & Q 22:29 - Aug 27 with 1644 views

Just saw a sign outside B&Q ..............................
'Stainless Steel Sinks'.
Bit obvious I thought.

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Satisfying The Bloodlust Of The Masses In Peacetime

Sign At B & Q on 23:10 - Aug 27 with 1599 views

darthvader

I took Mrs Darth there because she wants decking, so I broke her nose in the gardening isle

keep the faith coyr

Sign At B & Q on 23:11 - Aug 27 with 1597 views

hedgeend61

I went to the builders merchants and asked to buy 1250 house bricks.
The man behind the counter asked what they were for?
I said I needed them to build a barbecue.
He said you dont need 1250 bricks to build a barbecue.
I said you do when you live on the 12th floor.

The lampost outside my house has disappeared.
I have put missing posters on all the local cats.

Sign At B & Q on 23:24 - Aug 27 with 1579 views

Sadoldgit

An old girlfriend bought all of her knickers from C & A. Apparently it was so that she could tell which was the front and which was the back.

Sign At B & Q on 23:44 - Aug 27 with 1564 views

hedgeend61

Whenever I hear about a whale washing up on the beach, I wonder how big are its gloves?

Very sad to report that the inventor of the anagram has died.
May he erect a penis.

Sign At B & Q on 07:18 - Aug 28 with 1469 views

kernow

Overheard the other day.
Excuse me mate, is there a B&Q in St Austell?
Dunno mate but there's definitely two lls.

Sign At B & Q on 08:46 - Aug 28 with 1384 views

SonicBoom

A friend of mine used to work at B and Q. They had the bright idea to brig out some t shirts for the staff to wear. Now I honestly can't remember if they ever actually wore them in the shop - I actually have the feeling they wore them for one day then were withdrawn due to complaints - but the t shirts read "Bang and screw with B and Q".
True story.

Sign At B & Q on 09:32 - Aug 28 with 1331 views

GasGiant

Sign At B & Q on 23:44 - Aug 27 by hedgeend61
Whenever I hear about a whale washing up on the beach, I wonder how big are its gloves? Very sad to report that the inventor of the anagram has died. May he erect a penis.

When I was "consulting" at Natwest back in the late eighties someone told me that when they created the staff Social Club near the top of the Natwest Tower (Now Building 42) they wanted a name for the Bar and somebody suggested the "Weary Banker".

Sign At B & Q on 11:07 - Aug 28 with 1274 views

hedgeend61

What are the chances of finding a singer called Fish?
One in Marillion.

LIttle Red Ridinghood skips through the forest and sees a little man with his head between his legs.
Scuse me Sir. are you a Goblin?

Nah, I've got 'eadache.

Sign At B & Q on 15:24 - Aug 28 with 1190 views

ArchersRoad

My grandad always used to say “as one door closes another one opens”
Lovely man, Terrible cabinet maker.

Sign At B & Q on 16:02 - Aug 28 with 1176 views

kingslandstand1

Sign At B & Q on 15:24 - Aug 28 by ArchersRoad
My grandad always used to say “as one door closes another one opens” Lovely man, Terrible cabinet maker.

Normally means a vacuum in the space between to 2 I'd guess

of sorts

Sign At B & Q on 11:17 - Aug 29 with 1025 views

Wints76

I took 2 stuffed dogs to the antique roadshow. The expert said “ This is a very rare set, produced by the celebrated Johns Brothers taxidermists who operated in London at the turn of the last century. Do you have any idea what they would fetch if they were in good condition?”

"Sticks?"

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