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LFW Message Board Glossary 17:05 - Aug 29 with 20330 viewsNorthernr

"The pay-as-you-play deal" - whenever a potential signing is rumoured or suggested who is obviously a) too fcking old, b) too fcking expensive, c) qualifying for a hip replacement on the NHS, d) one of life's genuine arseholes who's blown up every dressing room he's ever been in, instead of dismissing the idea out of hand one is duty bound to suggest a pay-as-you-play deal. That he wouldn't accept this, and that this doesn't really exist, is irrelevant.

"Digging down" - whenever discussing the merits of a new stadium, of trying to redevelop the one we already have, one is duty bound to suggest digging Loftus Road down into the ground. The fact this would also dig it down into the water table and effectively create a world leading water polo venue for a good six months a year is also irrelevant. Will also accept "building out over South Africa Road" and "adding a revolving restaurant".

"Les was crap to start with as well" - whenever debating the ability or otherwise of a new striker, due consideration must always be given to the fact Les Ferdinand was total dog sht when he first got here. Please see three years of Conor Washington debate, or 17 pages (and counting) on Lyndon Dykes' move to Birmingham.

...

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LFW Message Board Glossary on 21:32 - Aug 29 with 2169 viewsBluce_Ree

"As versatile as an egg"

Stefan Moore, Stefan Moore running down the wing. Stefan Moore, Stefan Moore running down the wing. He runs like a cheetah, his crosses couldn't be sweeter. Stefan Moore. Stefan Moore. Stefan Moore.

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LFW Message Board Glossary on 21:34 - Aug 29 with 2174 viewsLogman

LFW Message Board Glossary on 17:28 - Aug 29 by stevec

‘Mental health issues’ whenever a player is a little too fond of a pint/cocaine/clubbing/skipping training or generally taking the piss out of the club and supporters.


'He needs to go out on loan'.

The notion that any 2nd year Development Squad player who is not yet ready for the 1st team will automatically be readied for the 1st team by being packed off for months to a lower League team.

Contrary to the fact that most loans end with the player sitting on the bench for most games and subsequently being released, any youngster who has been around our Development Squad for a while 'needs to go out on loan'.
[Post edited 29 Aug 21:35]
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LFW Message Board Glossary on 21:39 - Aug 29 with 2127 viewsNorthernr

LFW Message Board Glossary on 21:34 - Aug 29 by Logman

'He needs to go out on loan'.

The notion that any 2nd year Development Squad player who is not yet ready for the 1st team will automatically be readied for the 1st team by being packed off for months to a lower League team.

Contrary to the fact that most loans end with the player sitting on the bench for most games and subsequently being released, any youngster who has been around our Development Squad for a while 'needs to go out on loan'.
[Post edited 29 Aug 21:35]


Sounds like you could do with a loan.

This post has been edited by an administrator
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LFW Message Board Glossary on 21:48 - Aug 29 with 2078 viewshubble

Knowing our luck

Poll: Who is your player of the season?

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LFW Message Board Glossary on 21:54 - Aug 29 with 2055 viewsJuzzie

Squad imbalance: “Relegation will be good because we can re-group and come straight back up again”
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LFW Message Board Glossary on 21:57 - Aug 29 with 2043 viewsDorse

'In my opinion...' absolutely not an opinion. It is actually a statement of absolute, immutable universal law. To contradict such would be to invite public ridicule. This is seen primarily in statements concerning John Terry, all political threads and whenever I mention Dom Ball.

'What do we want? We don't know! When do we want it? Now!'

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LFW Message Board Glossary on 21:58 - Aug 29 with 2042 viewsslmrstid

Suggesting any ex-player who was half decent for us and is now available on a free transfer should be brought back in, regardless of whether they've played 10 or 100 games since they left us and were or weren't any good for other clubs.
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LFW Message Board Glossary on 21:58 - Aug 29 with 1985 viewsstainrods_elbow

'I don't wanna jinx it.'

'Give it 10 games and he'll/we'll be fine' (v popular this season)

'How many times does it need explaining to you?' *

* as repeated by the one or two smug/know-it-all bores in these parts

Poll: How many points will we manage from our first 5 games with this squad?

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LFW Message Board Glossary on 22:25 - Aug 29 with 1942 viewsnumptydumpty

"He is a little bit raw"

Is our Sinclair, give him a chance its only his 15th season here.

Next season we are hoping he can achieve big things and at least three goals in the calendar year.
[Post edited 29 Aug 22:26]

Walking in a "Mackie Wonderland"
Poll: Where will we finish next season ???

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LFW Message Board Glossary on 22:32 - Aug 29 with 1929 viewsCiderwithRsie

"Would you have him back? Could still do a decent job for us"

Thread opener under heading of "(Former player who was decent for us years ago) released"
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LFW Message Board Glossary on 22:46 - Aug 29 with 1906 viewsLongsufferingR

6? I thought he was worth at least 6.1.
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LFW Message Board Glossary on 23:03 - Aug 29 with 1868 viewsMyke

Spackman
(I hope this hasn't been suggested already)
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LFW Message Board Glossary on 23:13 - Aug 29 with 1841 viewsGaryHaddock

“Sorry, downvoted by mistake”
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LFW Message Board Glossary on 23:52 - Aug 29 with 1778 viewsPadulas_Shampoo

LFW Message Board Glossary on 21:58 - Aug 29 by stainrods_elbow

'I don't wanna jinx it.'

'Give it 10 games and he'll/we'll be fine' (v popular this season)

'How many times does it need explaining to you?' *

* as repeated by the one or two smug/know-it-all bores in these parts


SE accusing other people of being smug know it all bores had me chuckling. Very good. Irony at its finest.
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LFW Message Board Glossary on 00:02 - Aug 30 with 1765 viewsFredManRave

It's a Must Win game.

Closely followed by, "We're definitely going down" when there was no definite about it, proven by the fact we didn't go down, twice!

"We can definitely still make the play-offs" (usually after winning a couple of games on the trot and move up to 16th) when there was no definite about it, proven by the fact we didn't make the play-offs, umpteen times.

I've got the Power.
Poll: MOM from todays Teasing at Teesside?

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LFW Message Board Glossary on 01:38 - Aug 30 with 1661 viewsstainrods_elbow

LFW Message Board Glossary on 23:52 - Aug 29 by Padulas_Shampoo

SE accusing other people of being smug know it all bores had me chuckling. Very good. Irony at its finest.


The difference is, whatever my flaws, I usually try and explain my point of view, but you can't see it for the (Padula) shampoo in your eyes.

Poll: How many points will we manage from our first 5 games with this squad?

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LFW Message Board Glossary on 07:24 - Aug 30 with 1559 viewsessextaxiboy

"I would have him here in a heartbeat "

Pre Marti, often spoken about a manager who had modest success then later found out to be shite
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LFW Message Board Glossary on 07:35 - Aug 30 with 1540 viewsRs_Holy

You can't fault his work rate and he will run all day for the team, BUT...
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LFW Message Board Glossary on 07:37 - Aug 30 with 1541 viewsPhildo

A bit lazy- a cultured midfielder who will go on to have an excellent career.

Hard working- Another sh1t signing

Academy prospect- Hamilton academicals reserves in 3 years time
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LFW Message Board Glossary on 07:46 - Aug 30 with 1499 viewsNorthernr

LFW Message Board Glossary on 00:02 - Aug 30 by FredManRave

It's a Must Win game.

Closely followed by, "We're definitely going down" when there was no definite about it, proven by the fact we didn't go down, twice!

"We can definitely still make the play-offs" (usually after winning a couple of games on the trot and move up to 16th) when there was no definite about it, proven by the fact we didn't make the play-offs, umpteen times.


The earlier in the season you declare a must win game, the more LFW it is.
Hull City on the opening day 2014 current record holder. One day presumably to be beaten by the final friendly of the summer.
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LFW Message Board Glossary on 07:47 - Aug 30 with 1498 viewsSpaceman_P

LFW Message Board Glossary on 19:30 - Aug 29 by SK_hoops

Charlie (first time round).


"Digging Down" they dug down and found beneath Loftus Road was an ancient Roman temple often used in animal slaughter and the like and in the heart of it find an enormous gold statue resembling no other than Joleon Lescott and presumed to be a talisman of bad luck henceforth our endless bad fortune.
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LFW Message Board Glossary on 08:10 - Aug 30 with 1448 viewshoops_legend

Tombola team selection

When we have one player slightly out of position or in a different area to what we expect then we call managers selection as one taken out of the tombola. Although in the case of mark Hughes - this was completely correct

Poll: Would you rather win league cup or survive?

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LFW Message Board Glossary on 08:23 - Aug 30 with 1414 viewsGaryBannister86

"were you at the game?" - I was, therefore my opinion is worth far more than yours, shows secretly I am a better fan, and did indeed spend the entire 90 minutes analysing the player's off the ball movement which you couldn't see on your stream, even though I was in Row Y behind a pillar
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LFW Message Board Glossary on 08:31 - Aug 30 with 1386 viewsDannyPaddox

Newly fitted kitchens can cure your erectile dysfunction.
Visit: newlyittedkitchenscancureyourerectiledysfunction.com
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LFW Message Board Glossary on 09:34 - Aug 30 with 1259 viewsKonk

CHELSEA. All Chelsea players are shi t. Even the good ones. Chelsea have 86 players in their squad; they are all shi t and on 10 year contracts. Chelsea will go bust soon (they won’t). When England get knocked out of a tournament or draw away in qualifying, it is always the fault of Mason Mount, Kerry Dixon, or Frank Lampard. Even if they're not in the squad. If Terry and Lampard had been playing for Watford, they’d have been nowhere near the England squad. Orient were bigger than Chelsea until Abramovich came along. I work with a Chelsea fan who has never heard of John Bumstead, Colin Pates, or David Lee.

Their ground is shi t, their badge is sh it, their kit is sh it, and their nickname is sh it. Their nursery rhyme song ‘One man went to mow’ is shi t, but not as shi t as their ‘Celery’ song, which is absolute sloppy dogsh it. They only got 8,000 v Southampton and 6,000 of those were Saints fans. David Mellor is a cu nt. Dennis Wise is a cu nt. John Terry is an absolute cu nt. Ashley Cole is a cu nt, and Frank LeBeuf is a total cun t. Ken Bates looked like Captain Birdseye. John Terry's mum nicked four grands worth of tube socks from Sports Direct, and she's a cu nt too.

Fulham FC: It's the taking part that counts

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