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As people have mentioned sleep walking, I have woken up half way through a sleep shave. Half of face clean shaven and the other covered with shaving foam.
Other sleep walks are when I've woken outside when I'd been dreaming of looking for frogs.
I began noticing some strange things in my everyday life. Five bedroom extension on my terrace house, trophy wife, designer suits in my wardrobe and a fleet of sports cars in the drive. I thought this is strange. You can't buy all that on a lollipop man's wage.
Anyway, it turns out that I run a meduim-sized haulage firm in my sleep.
The What did you dream about thread? on 09:43 - May 19 by BigDaveMyCock
I began noticing some strange things in my everyday life. Five bedroom extension on my terrace house, trophy wife, designer suits in my wardrobe and a fleet of sports cars in the drive. I thought this is strange. You can't buy all that on a lollipop man's wage.
Anyway, it turns out that I run a meduim-sized haulage firm in my sleep.
More the point, as a lollipop man, do you get home in time for Jezza Kyle or do you miss the start?
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The What did you dream about thread? on 12:24 - May 19 with 5953 views
The What did you dream about thread? on 11:32 - May 19 by Pops2
More the point, as a lollipop man, do you get home in time for Jezza Kyle or do you miss the start?
I don't know I'll check my diary.
Monday - Got up. Asked very attractive Eastern Eurpopean woman in my bed who she is and what she is doing there. She's called Alentvia from the Ukraine and she is a former world gymnastic champion. She said she is my wife and wants my credit card to go shopping. This is strange because I don't ever remember meeting and marrying her, moreover, I didn't know I had a Black American Express card!! Had a shower and a jacquzzi the latter of which is odd because I don't remember ever buying, and having fitted, a jacquzzi. Alentvia did something amazing to me for giving her said credit card. Got lollipop went to work.
Tuesday - Woke up with a horrible taste of Fois Gras in my mouth, again!! Got up and went into the oxygen chamber. This is again odd as I don't remember ever purchasing, or having fitted, an oxygen chamber. Had a phone call from two blokes called Giles and Andreas wanting to know if I wanted to go to Monaco with them. I told them I didn't know who they were and that I had to go to work as a lollipop man. They said I was a fookin funny guy and they would rendevouz with moi en returnez so ciao. I told them I didn't speak Urdu. Got Lollipop went to work. Alentvia said she is having her brother Pierre staying and she is staying in his room because he is lonely. She seems a very caring person. Sounds like she is showing him her gymnastic moves and he sounds very excited about this. Must like gymastics.
Wednesday - Got up and checked conveyors report of the house. When I bought the house it definately only had two bedrooms. Starting to really wonder where the other five double en-suite bedrooms have come from. There is also no mention of a swimming pool in the conveyors report. Got lollipop and went to work in the Aston Martin. It looks like someone has broke Alentvia's nose and her breasts seem to have got bigger and her forehead smoother.
Thursday - Got up and the tax office had written to me again wanting to know why a lollipop man is the reciepient of a Director's Dividend of £4.26 million for the year ending 2012-13? Got lollipop and went to work. Returned Sir Alex Ferguson's voice message and told him that I didn't play golf.
Friday - Got up and cleaned Alentvia and Pierre's talc powder from the mirror they had taken off the wall, again!! Damn this fookin Fois Gras taste. Got lollipop and went to work. Starting to get ratty with the kids.
Saturday - Got up and took a call from a bloke telling me we've nailed the UPS contract. I told him he had the wrong number and I was going bowling and he laughed and said it was because of my sense of humour that he fookin loved working for me. Started to really wonder about Pierre. He is black and French and Alentvia isn't.
Sunday - Got up had a spa. Watched Jeremy Kyle and fed the baby aligator, fook!! what's that doing in my house.
The What did you dream about thread? on 12:24 - May 19 by BigDaveMyCock
I don't know I'll check my diary.
Monday - Got up. Asked very attractive Eastern Eurpopean woman in my bed who she is and what she is doing there. She's called Alentvia from the Ukraine and she is a former world gymnastic champion. She said she is my wife and wants my credit card to go shopping. This is strange because I don't ever remember meeting and marrying her, moreover, I didn't know I had a Black American Express card!! Had a shower and a jacquzzi the latter of which is odd because I don't remember ever buying, and having fitted, a jacquzzi. Alentvia did something amazing to me for giving her said credit card. Got lollipop went to work.
Tuesday - Woke up with a horrible taste of Fois Gras in my mouth, again!! Got up and went into the oxygen chamber. This is again odd as I don't remember ever purchasing, or having fitted, an oxygen chamber. Had a phone call from two blokes called Giles and Andreas wanting to know if I wanted to go to Monaco with them. I told them I didn't know who they were and that I had to go to work as a lollipop man. They said I was a fookin funny guy and they would rendevouz with moi en returnez so ciao. I told them I didn't speak Urdu. Got Lollipop went to work. Alentvia said she is having her brother Pierre staying and she is staying in his room because he is lonely. She seems a very caring person. Sounds like she is showing him her gymnastic moves and he sounds very excited about this. Must like gymastics.
Wednesday - Got up and checked conveyors report of the house. When I bought the house it definately only had two bedrooms. Starting to really wonder where the other five double en-suite bedrooms have come from. There is also no mention of a swimming pool in the conveyors report. Got lollipop and went to work in the Aston Martin. It looks like someone has broke Alentvia's nose and her breasts seem to have got bigger and her forehead smoother.
Thursday - Got up and the tax office had written to me again wanting to know why a lollipop man is the reciepient of a Director's Dividend of £4.26 million for the year ending 2012-13? Got lollipop and went to work. Returned Sir Alex Ferguson's voice message and told him that I didn't play golf.
Friday - Got up and cleaned Alentvia and Pierre's talc powder from the mirror they had taken off the wall, again!! Damn this fookin Fois Gras taste. Got lollipop and went to work. Starting to get ratty with the kids.
Saturday - Got up and took a call from a bloke telling me we've nailed the UPS contract. I told him he had the wrong number and I was going bowling and he laughed and said it was because of my sense of humour that he fookin loved working for me. Started to really wonder about Pierre. He is black and French and Alentvia isn't.
Sunday - Got up had a spa. Watched Jeremy Kyle and fed the baby aligator, fook!! what's that doing in my house.
It appears so.
Lol what did I just read? hahahhaha
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The What did you dream about thread? on 12:51 - May 19 with 5928 views
The What did you dream about thread? on 12:39 - May 19 by username
Lol what did I just read? hahahhaha
It's not a laughing matter being a lollipop man who runs a multinational corporation in his sleep.
It's more common than you think. In the last 200 years 4 people have been sleeping CEOs. They devote all this money to cancer research and heart disease but we get nothing.
The What did you dream about thread? on 12:24 - May 19 by BigDaveMyCock
I don't know I'll check my diary.
Monday - Got up. Asked very attractive Eastern Eurpopean woman in my bed who she is and what she is doing there. She's called Alentvia from the Ukraine and she is a former world gymnastic champion. She said she is my wife and wants my credit card to go shopping. This is strange because I don't ever remember meeting and marrying her, moreover, I didn't know I had a Black American Express card!! Had a shower and a jacquzzi the latter of which is odd because I don't remember ever buying, and having fitted, a jacquzzi. Alentvia did something amazing to me for giving her said credit card. Got lollipop went to work.
Tuesday - Woke up with a horrible taste of Fois Gras in my mouth, again!! Got up and went into the oxygen chamber. This is again odd as I don't remember ever purchasing, or having fitted, an oxygen chamber. Had a phone call from two blokes called Giles and Andreas wanting to know if I wanted to go to Monaco with them. I told them I didn't know who they were and that I had to go to work as a lollipop man. They said I was a fookin funny guy and they would rendevouz with moi en returnez so ciao. I told them I didn't speak Urdu. Got Lollipop went to work. Alentvia said she is having her brother Pierre staying and she is staying in his room because he is lonely. She seems a very caring person. Sounds like she is showing him her gymnastic moves and he sounds very excited about this. Must like gymastics.
Wednesday - Got up and checked conveyors report of the house. When I bought the house it definately only had two bedrooms. Starting to really wonder where the other five double en-suite bedrooms have come from. There is also no mention of a swimming pool in the conveyors report. Got lollipop and went to work in the Aston Martin. It looks like someone has broke Alentvia's nose and her breasts seem to have got bigger and her forehead smoother.
Thursday - Got up and the tax office had written to me again wanting to know why a lollipop man is the reciepient of a Director's Dividend of £4.26 million for the year ending 2012-13? Got lollipop and went to work. Returned Sir Alex Ferguson's voice message and told him that I didn't play golf.
Friday - Got up and cleaned Alentvia and Pierre's talc powder from the mirror they had taken off the wall, again!! Damn this fookin Fois Gras taste. Got lollipop and went to work. Starting to get ratty with the kids.
Saturday - Got up and took a call from a bloke telling me we've nailed the UPS contract. I told him he had the wrong number and I was going bowling and he laughed and said it was because of my sense of humour that he fookin loved working for me. Started to really wonder about Pierre. He is black and French and Alentvia isn't.
Sunday - Got up had a spa. Watched Jeremy Kyle and fed the baby aligator, fook!! what's that doing in my house.
It appears so.
And Jug thinks i'm due a visit to the clinic. Bloody hell Dave.
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The What did you dream about thread? on 20:56 - May 19 with 5819 views
The What did you dream about thread? on 15:21 - May 19 by Pops2
And Jug thinks i'm due a visit to the clinic. Bloody hell Dave.
Might have to take back that last post as just woke from a late afternoon snooze.
Was in Greece (must have been after slagging them about Eurovision last night) with random people (never met) and I wanted to count the money in my wallet but people kept trying to pickpocket me so I gave up trying and was getting annoyed.
Then went into a Greek co op sized supermarket and saw a can of soup which looked the same as Heinz tomato (same logo but no mention of Heinz or any other brand). I then walked into the back of the shop and a bloke and woman were both stood over bowls making cakes. I could see the worlds biggest egg yolks in there and they told me they were making his and hers cakes. There was a weird plant on the windowsill and they told me they grow it because it has a weird shape leaf and they press that into the top of the cake to show its religious importance.
At that point I woke up so no idea where I was going with it.
[Post edited 1 Jan 1970 1:00]
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The What did you dream about thread? on 19:15 - May 21 with 5730 views
The What did you dream about thread? on 20:56 - May 19 by Pops2
Might have to take back that last post as just woke from a late afternoon snooze.
Was in Greece (must have been after slagging them about Eurovision last night) with random people (never met) and I wanted to count the money in my wallet but people kept trying to pickpocket me so I gave up trying and was getting annoyed.
Then went into a Greek co op sized supermarket and saw a can of soup which looked the same as Heinz tomato (same logo but no mention of Heinz or any other brand). I then walked into the back of the shop and a bloke and woman were both stood over bowls making cakes. I could see the worlds biggest egg yolks in there and they told me they were making his and hers cakes. There was a weird plant on the windowsill and they told me they grow it because it has a weird shape leaf and they press that into the top of the cake to show its religious importance.
At that point I woke up so no idea where I was going with it.
[Post edited 1 Jan 1970 1:00]
had a dream i was at Wembley watching wrestling and one of the wrestlers tossed their shirts into the crowd and someone else caught it but gave it to me for some reason , then when i got out of Wembley i couldnt find where the coach was so i had to run through a few cars parks.
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The What did you dream about thread? on 19:56 - May 21 with 5718 views
The What did you dream about thread? on 19:15 - May 21 by hbk4894
had a dream i was at Wembley watching wrestling and one of the wrestlers tossed their shirts into the crowd and someone else caught it but gave it to me for some reason , then when i got out of Wembley i couldnt find where the coach was so i had to run through a few cars parks.
Screech out of 'Saved By the Bell' tried to sell me a magic sledge outside Xanadus but was thwarted by early 1990s sports Minister Colin Moynihan who was lobbing throwing stars, fashioned from Fray Bentos tin lids, at his head - from the backseat of a Lada Niva (not Riva - the actual 4 wheel drive one).
Colin Moynihan's dwarfism meant that Screech was only injured in the calf area. Benny out of Crossloads just looked on disinterested as Screech ran in the direction of Rocks Off with badly sliced calves which later got infected from gone off minced steak and puff pastry deriving from Moyinhan's lacklustre throwing star production methods.
The magic sledge was given to Ziggy Greaves out of Grange Hill who sold it for drugs for Zammo and his cockney mate who was in London's Burning.
The What did you dream about thread? on 19:56 - May 21 by BigDaveMyCock
Screech out of 'Saved By the Bell' tried to sell me a magic sledge outside Xanadus but was thwarted by early 1990s sports Minister Colin Moynihan who was lobbing throwing stars, fashioned from Fray Bentos tin lids, at his head - from the backseat of a Lada Niva (not Riva - the actual 4 wheel drive one).
Colin Moynihan's dwarfism meant that Screech was only injured in the calf area. Benny out of Crossloads just looked on disinterested as Screech ran in the direction of Rocks Off with badly sliced calves which later got infected from gone off minced steak and puff pastry deriving from Moyinhan's lacklustre throwing star production methods.
The magic sledge was given to Ziggy Greaves out of Grange Hill who sold it for drugs for Zammo and his cockney mate who was in London's Burning.
I got bollocked at work the other week for calling a scouse colleague Screech because he is a spitting image of him. It might also have had something to do with the boss also finding out that I refer to her as "the dwarf" and her sidekick as "helmet head". Anyone called mark is referred to as Skid.
[Post edited 1 Jan 1970 1:00]
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The What did you dream about thread? on 20:31 - May 21 with 5700 views
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