| Limericks. 17:25 - Jul 26 with 1897 views | MorrisD52 |
I love Limericks Epitaphs Epigrams etc a few of my favourites below
Here lies the bones of Elizabeth Charlotte
Born a virgin died a harlot
She was aye a virgin at seventeen
A remarkable thing in Aberdeen
There was an old man who averred
He had learned how to fly like a bird
Cheered by thousands of people
He leapt from the steeple
The tomb states the date it occurred
He was rich and old and she
Was thirty two of thirty three
She gave him fifteen years to live
The only thing she meant to give
Doctor Bell fell down the well
And broke his collar-bone
Doctors should attend the sick
And leave the well alone
There was a fair maid of Ostend
Who thought she would hold out to the end
But half way over
Twixt Calais and Dover
She did what she didn't intend |  | | |  |
| Limericks. on 17:30 - Jul 26 with 1879 views | SimplyNico |
Indeed. There are some great ones.
There was a young nympho from Dallas
Who used a dynamite stick as a phallus
They found her v agina
In North Carolina
And her 'rsole at Buckingham Palace [Post edited 26 Jul 2021 17:31]
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| Limericks. on 17:47 - Jul 26 with 1832 views | Ashdown_Ranger |
| Limericks. on 17:30 - Jul 26 by SimplyNico |
Indeed. There are some great ones.
There was a young nympho from Dallas
Who used a dynamite stick as a phallus
They found her v agina
In North Carolina
And her 'rsole at Buckingham Palace [Post edited 26 Jul 2021 17:31]
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That 'rsole at Buckingham Palace made something of a recovery... became best chums with a convicted sex offender, enjoyed straightforward shooting weekends and loved Pizza Express in Woking. I think eating all that pizza made him an even bigger 'rsole, and he's a bit of a lard-arse these days. |  | | |
| Limericks. on 17:48 - Jul 26 with 1831 views | ted_hendrix |
"A circus performer named Brian,
Once smiled as he rode on a lion.
They came back from the ride,
But with Brian inside,
And the smile on the face of the lion." |  |
| My Father had a profound influence on me, he was a lunatic. |
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| Limericks. on 18:42 - Jul 26 with 1780 views | Match82 |
| Limericks. on 17:47 - Jul 26 by Ashdown_Ranger |
That 'rsole at Buckingham Palace made something of a recovery... became best chums with a convicted sex offender, enjoyed straightforward shooting weekends and loved Pizza Express in Woking. I think eating all that pizza made him an even bigger 'rsole, and he's a bit of a lard-arse these days. |
Graphic limerick, but doesn't rhyme 2/10  |  | | |
| Limericks. on 18:48 - Jul 26 with 1764 views | Sonofpugwash |
There was a young lady from Horton
Who had one long breast and a short 'un
To make up for that
She had a large pr*t
And a fart like a 500 Norton. |  |
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| Limericks. on 19:00 - Jul 26 with 1742 views | QPRSteve |
A man had been asked to give an after dinner speech and was worried about how to start it. His mate told him the best wat to start was by telling a joke or a funny story to get the audience on his side. Not to dirty because the audience was likely to be mixed company and not to clean because that would be boring.
It just so happened that he knew a limerick that fit the bill. It went like this:
The was a young mand called Skinner
Who took a young lady to dinner
By a quarter to nine they had started to dine
By a quarter to ten it was in her
The dinner, not Skinner
The day of the speech came and our man found himself on a dining table on a stage looking out at a see of faces. Naturally he became a bit nervous and started knocking back the booze and because he was the guest speaker the waiters get topping him up. By the time he got up to do his speech he was somewhat inebriated.
“I’d like to start my talk with a limerick I was told the other day, hic. It goes like this:
The was a young man called Tucker
Who took a young woman to supper
By a quarter to nine they had started to dine
By a quarter to ten it was up her
Not Tucker, some other fücker.
Skinner I think his name was | | | |
| Limericks. on 19:57 - Jul 26 with 1707 views | enfieldargh |
There was an old woman from Neath
Who sat on her false pair of teeth
She said with a start Oh Lord bless my heart
I've bitten myself underneath
Think I read this when I was about 6 and have no idea why I can remember it |  |
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