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Corny Joke Warning 16:56 - Aug 29 with 810611 viewsBoston

What vehicle do electricians prefer to drive?

A Volts Wagon.

Poll: Thank God The Seaons Over.

3
Corny Joke Warning on 10:51 - Apr 14 with 6669 viewsjohncharles

What's pink and smelly and sticks out of your trousers ?

Your feet

Strong and stable my arse.

3
Corny Joke Warning on 01:45 - Apr 15 with 6560 viewsBoston

What's the difference between a prostitute and a drug dealer

One can wash her crack and sell it again.

Poll: Thank God The Seaons Over.

0
Corny Joke Warning on 01:52 - Apr 15 with 6557 viewsBoston

Got nicked down in Acton in 1978

Old Bill asked me if I had a police record

Yeah, I said, just the one

Walking on the Moon.
[Post edited 15 Apr 2020 1:53]

Poll: Thank God The Seaons Over.

0
Corny Joke Warning on 02:15 - Apr 15 with 6548 viewsBoston

Me and my mate knuckles was walking down the road

"Fck me" say Knucks, "there's a gravestone 'ere for a bloke who was a 118"

"Really, say"s I, "what's 'is name?"

"err, Miles from London".
[Post edited 15 Apr 2020 2:17]

Poll: Thank God The Seaons Over.

5
Corny Joke Warning on 09:27 - Apr 16 with 6443 viewsEsox_Lucius

I'm selling a stalking kit on eBay,

It's got six people watching it...

The grass is always greener.

4
Corny Joke Warning on 01:44 - Apr 17 with 6385 viewsBoston

There's a rumour out there that I've got a 12" cock.

And it's true.

I started it.
[Post edited 17 Apr 2020 1:48]

Poll: Thank God The Seaons Over.

0
Corny Joke Warning on 11:49 - Apr 17 with 6299 viewsjohncharles

Corny Joke Warning on 01:52 - Apr 15 by Boston

Got nicked down in Acton in 1978

Old Bill asked me if I had a police record

Yeah, I said, just the one

Walking on the Moon.
[Post edited 15 Apr 2020 1:53]


Reminds me of an announcement at LR. We have a message from the Police
Was it in a bottle ? Shouts a nearby supporter

Strong and stable my arse.

1
Corny Joke Warning on 11:51 - Apr 17 with 6295 viewsjohncharles

What’s the definition of a Mistress
Someone between a Master and a Matress.

Strong and stable my arse.

1
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Corny Joke Warning on 16:03 - Apr 20 with 6191 viewsEsox_Lucius

Why are dogs so great at floating?
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
because they are good boys.

The grass is always greener.

0
Corny Joke Warning on 16:15 - Apr 20 with 6182 viewskensalriser

Corny Joke Warning on 01:52 - Apr 15 by Boston

Got nicked down in Acton in 1978

Old Bill asked me if I had a police record

Yeah, I said, just the one

Walking on the Moon.
[Post edited 15 Apr 2020 1:53]


You must have had them stumped with that one, Walking On The Moon didn't come out until 1979.

Poll: QPR to finish 7th or Brentford to drop out of the top 6?

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Corny Joke Warning on 17:08 - Apr 20 with 6158 viewsjohncharles

Not strictly a joke but... just come and switched the tele on. Escape to Chateau. They’re inspecting some damage to the Chateau walls. Wooooo look she says, you can stick your fingers into the crack.

Strong and stable my arse.

0
Corny Joke Warning on 17:33 - Apr 20 with 6138 viewsjohann28

Everybody knows that Albert Einstein was a genius. But not many know that his brother Frank was an absolute monster.
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Corny Joke Warning on 00:51 - Apr 21 with 6067 viewsBoston

What's the difference between a magicians wand and a policeman's truncheon?

Ones for cunning stunts....

Poll: Thank God The Seaons Over.

1
Corny Joke Warning on 00:56 - Apr 21 with 6063 viewsBoston

What's the difference between a lost golf ball and a mounted policeman?

Ones a hunt on a course...

Poll: Thank God The Seaons Over.

2
Corny Joke Warning on 09:55 - Apr 21 with 5999 viewsEsox_Lucius

Arnold Schwarzenegger was visited by his mother a couple of weekends ago and he began to complain to her that she hadn't brought him any Easter eggs.
She said "I thought you didn't like Easter Arnold"
He said "I still love easter".

The grass is always greener.

1
Corny Joke Warning on 14:01 - Apr 21 with 5963 viewsLblock

Corny Joke Warning on 09:55 - Apr 21 by Esox_Lucius

Arnold Schwarzenegger was visited by his mother a couple of weekends ago and he began to complain to her that she hadn't brought him any Easter eggs.
She said "I thought you didn't like Easter Arnold"
He said "I still love easter".


You need to add a "baby" on the end of that one

Cherish and enjoy life.... this ain't no dress rehearsal

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Corny Joke Warning on 09:06 - Apr 23 with 5899 viewsEsox_Lucius

Corny Joke Warning on 14:01 - Apr 21 by Lblock

You need to add a "baby" on the end of that one


Who calls their mother baby?

The grass is always greener.

0
Corny Joke Warning on 09:07 - Apr 23 with 5898 viewsEsox_Lucius

Apologies to anyone who felt my joke about herbs and fish was inappropriate.
I now realise there’s a thyme and a plaice for these things.

The grass is always greener.

5
Corny Joke Warning on 11:12 - Apr 23 with 5878 viewsNewhopphoops

Corny Joke Warning on 01:52 - Apr 15 by Boston

Got nicked down in Acton in 1978

Old Bill asked me if I had a police record

Yeah, I said, just the one

Walking on the Moon.
[Post edited 15 Apr 2020 1:53]


"Have you been up before me before?" asked the beak.

"i don't know your honour, when do you normally get up?"
2
Corny Joke Warning on 23:26 - Apr 24 with 5784 viewsbosh67

I've just realised that the neck of a Toilet Duck is a straw.

Never knowingly right.
Poll: How long before new signings become quivering wrecks of the players they were?

2
Corny Joke Warning on 03:35 - Apr 25 with 5757 viewsBoston

My mate worked for Dunlop for 50 years

He’s retired now.

Poll: Thank God The Seaons Over.

3
Corny Joke Warning on 13:53 - Apr 25 with 5694 viewsEsox_Lucius

Out on my daily night time exercise walk yesterday. I'd been out for about 35 minutes when a police car pulled up a few yards in front of me. An officer got out and kept his distance but asked me my name, age and address.
He then asked where I was between 6 and 11.
I said "Primary School".

The grass is always greener.

5
Corny Joke Warning on 19:50 - Apr 25 with 5653 viewsjohann28

If you inject someone with disinfectant, would you be charged with a bleach of the peace or domestos violence?
2
Corny Joke Warning on 13:58 - Apr 26 with 5577 viewsEsox_Lucius

Two men have just broken into Tiffany's in London. Police say they were last seen 'Running just as fast as they can, holding on to each others hands, trying to get away into the night’

The grass is always greener.

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Corny Joke Warning on 14:20 - Apr 26 with 5564 viewsEsox_Lucius

I was sat in a restaurant and got hit on the back of the head by a prawn cocktail. I looked round and this bloke shouts, 'That's just for starters!'

The grass is always greener.

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