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Wales Preview 16:44 - Jun 10 with 2859 viewsmacthejack

http://www.vice.com/en_uk/read/oh-god-we-forgot-to-do-euro-16-content-it-kicks-o

"A lot of the pre-tournament hype is quite dismissive to Wales and their chances, because i. they are not an established tournament team, as if that helps England at all, and ii. they legitimately have a player called "Jazz". That's not right. That shouldn't be allowed. So the expectation when Wales play England in Lens on Thursday is the same as whenever England play a rival home nation: really long national anthems followed by an inevitable English 2-1 win, and balance and superiority is restored.

But then: Wales have Gareth Bale, who is actually, properly, superstar-level good. And they also have Aaron Ramsey, who was good two years ago, but crucially — crucially — he has dyed his hair bleach-blonde, and I feel like this is the final stage in him transforming from Aaron Ramsey, 25-year-old useful midfielder, into a legitimate superhero who stalks the streets of Cardiff high-kicking criminals in the throat. Also they have Ashley Williams, who you absolutely would not f*ck with. Ashley Williams is unf*ckable with. I feel like I could drive a van into Ashley Williams and he'd just be mad. Like: entirely uninjured. Driving a van into Ashley Williams actually makes him stronger. And I'm just there, shellshocked from the explosion of an airbag in my face, and Ashley Williams has wrenched the van door off — and this van is rented, so I'm not getting my deposit back now — and also he is mad. That's how I die. That's how I want to die.

So, Wales: quite tasty. And if they shock England then it goes one of two ways: every person in England quietly admits that, actually, maybe we're not that good, and that winning two World Wars and one World Cup doesn't actually stand us in very good stead to win a European football tournament 50 years later, and we take the little flags off our vans and have a little sit down and a think; or we nuke Wales, because f*ck Wales. It could go one of two ways! Who knows!"
[Post edited 10 Jun 2016 16:53]
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