| Christmas Jokes Ideas please 14:24 - Dec 11 with 8783 views | stonebridgers |
I have to put together a few jokes with a Christmas theme for work. As this board is full of comic genius a little help would be appreciated
Remember it's for a work email so the content must be clean.....ish |  |
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| Christmas Jokes Ideas please on 12:07 - Dec 13 with 2000 views | RickyDicky |
Patient : Doctor, doctor, I've got a mince pie stuck up my bum
Doctor : no problem, I have some cream for that....... |  |
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| Christmas Jokes Ideas please on 18:06 - Dec 13 with 1904 views | welwynranger |
Heather Mills was upset to find that Paul Mcartney had bought her an artificial leg for Christmas. She accused him of being mean with all his money this was all he got her. Until he told her that wasn't her main present it was just a stocking filler | | | |
| Christmas Jokes Ideas please on 18:40 - Dec 13 with 1884 views | PlanetHonneywood |
Gazza and Chris Waddle meet up in Newcastle for a Crimbo drink, when a fan comes up to them in the bar and says, 'I fookin hate you Waddle ya tw@t. You fooked off to Spurs when we needed ya most, bolloxed up the penalty in the world cup like, I fookin hate ya!'
Gazza is wetting himself laughing and the bloke turns to him, 'Wot you laughin' at you fat wife beatin' tw@t. I hate you more! You also fooked off to Spurs and cried like a bairn after the cup final and when we needed ya most, ya signed for fookin Boro ya tw@t!"
The pair decide to leave and go elsewhere. Later that night, Waddle offers Gazza a lift home and as they're driving past a bar, they see the guy who'd given them abuse earlier in the evening, grappling with two bouncers.
Gazza says, 'Howay Chrissie slow doon!' Whereupon he drops his kecks and as they drive past the guy, he moonies him out the window.
The bloke seeing this says, 'And you Peter Beardsley you're a turtle wnaker like!'
You may need a big cracker for this one! |  |
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| Christmas Jokes Ideas please on 21:15 - Dec 13 with 1804 views | DesertBoot |
My neighbour asked me would we be exchanging presents again this year.
I told them I exchange their present every year.
A friend asked would I like a slice of traditional German fruit cake.
"Stollen?" I asked.
"No", they replied, "I bought it in Sainsbury's" |  |
| Wish I could be like David Watts |
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| Christmas Jokes Ideas please on 11:33 - Dec 14 with 1692 views | simmo |
Me and the wife hate all this cold weather, so we're off to the Carribean for xmas
'Jamaica'?
No, she wanted to go. |  |
| ask Beavis I get nothing Butthead |
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| Christmas Jokes Ideas please on 11:51 - Dec 14 with 1665 views | BazzaInTheLoft |
| Christmas Jokes Ideas please on 11:33 - Dec 14 by simmo |
Me and the wife hate all this cold weather, so we're off to the Carribean for xmas
'Jamaica'?
No, she wanted to go. |
That's funny because my wife loves the cold weather so i'm thinking of taking her for a surprise trip to somewhere with glaciers, mountains and snow but not sure if she'd like it.
'Alaska'
No please don't you'll ruin the surprise. |  | | |
| Christmas Jokes Ideas please on 12:00 - Dec 14 with 1650 views | londonscottish |
What does Santa suffer from if he gets stuck in a chimney?
Claustrophobia
Boom. Tsh. |  |
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| Christmas Jokes Ideas please on 12:20 - Dec 14 with 1621 views | TW_R |
What exams did Santa take at school? Ho Ho Ho levels.
Did you hear about the dyslexic devil-worshipper. Sold his soul to Santa. |  | | |
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| Christmas Jokes Ideas please on 15:42 - Dec 14 with 1573 views | NW5Hoop |
| Christmas Jokes Ideas please on 14:40 - Dec 11 by EastR |
How does Good King Weceslas like his pizza? - Deep and crisp and even |
Deep pan, crisp and even. | | | |
| Christmas Jokes Ideas please on 14:20 - Dec 16 with 1474 views | Michael_Hunt |
Jose Moaniho has submitted his wish list to Santa,
He's asked for a cowboy outfit,
Don't know why he's already managing one! |  | | |
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