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6am: unleash bowel movement , purging yesterdays cocaine, lager and sweet meats. 6.30am: get up/shower/power wa nk ..thereby processing remaining toxins down the plug hole
6.45am: violent argument with wife
7 am: no time for breakfast , off to work!!
7.45 am: toilet, wa nk , capaucino 8am : work!! push papers around, stare at screen , tap pen on teeth, toilet, wa nk. 1oam :pretend to read 'lloyds list'
11am : 'strategy 'meeting with other 'non marine facualty specialists', , in reality alcoholics all shaking like the drunken bakers in 'viz'. item one, agenda one , priority one ..liase to meet in drakes wine bar or the english club 11.45am
11.40am: pick up folders and with the determined look of east german sprinter marlies goher, stride purposefully to the 'market' with durans 'hungry like the wolf' ringing in your head. eager for new business....
11.42am: simply decide against the exciting new buisness venture of going to see some cnt in his 'box' head straight for 'drakes' in leadenhall market.
11.45am. meet with other 'non marine facualty specialists' to discuss covering each others arses, if it all gets on top.
12.15pm: thoughts turn to cocaine and where we take our custom today. will it be 'wraps', 'bar bed' , the counting house, the elephant or the wine lodge.(descisions descisions!!
1pm: time to take the show on the road!!: press buzzer to gain entry into bar bed's gentlemens club upstairs behind reinforced fire door.
1.01pm: time to mingle!!. associate with 'colourful' collection of junkys, theives, bullys, cu nts,pimps, whores and reinsurance brokers.
4.30pm: leave establishment ripped to the tits and £2OO Lighter, but in possession of the life giving elexier that is the kibble. scurry' golem ' like to lloyds of london for an appointment with inaminate object 'the lutine bell'
4.45pm: 'rap' with bob the pristine yeoman at the entrance , of lloyds, cnted , like a long lost brother(making a mental note to ignore him the next day, if i survive the next 24 hours)
5pm: leave bob crying/scared and go to meet broker for my 2.30pm appointment
5.o2pm: wa nk in bogs, really unloading a pootle of gear in a prolonged orgasm due to being on the gear all afternoon.
5.11pm.... miss my 2.30pm appointment and express my apologies. my nans dying of 'testicular cancer 'or something
5:15pm ..'lunch ' more gear and more pints in leadenhall market. discuss exciting new opportunities within a growing market with other 'specialists'
5.45pm..return to office. pack up leave.may 'jimmy' open the petty cash box and point the finger at the african cleaners...after all 'my word is my bond'
5.55pm..in to the wine lodge , more cocaine, more pints, more disscussion on pornography 7pm..asked to leave by management, quick inventory reveals dangerously low stock levels of 'kibble' ie 1/2 a grm. reorder critical.i repeat reorder critical!!
8pm..leave the counting house restocked..phew!!!
8.15..in the cheshire cheese, reminiscing with other 'specialists' about our brave comrades that have fallen by the wayside and now live above a pet shop in a bedsit in tooting/eltham/basildon. either estranged from their wife and children or dead.
8.15pm to 11pm : have a fcking good laugh about the above 'fallen'. cnts.
11.15pm: time for home!!!. ring estranged ex colleagues wife on train home , wired to fu ck, with propositions of a sexual nature, realise you have in fact rung your sister, but continue anyway.
12.15: jump in cab and share a few lines with colin the cabby.
12.25: home time!!!, throw dinner in bin have violent argument with wife, spend a night of fitful sleep on the sette in suit, waiting to do it all again!!
" I guess in four or five years, the new generation's music will be .. electronics, tapes. I can kind of envision .. maybe one person .. with a lot of machines, tapes, and electronics setups, singin or speaking .. and using machines " James Douglas Morrison | 1969
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The Worst Job You Ever Had.. on 13:18 - Jun 23 with 6469 views
7.30am Wake up, wish I had coke/booze to forget about goiong to work.
7.40am Shower, haven't got the strength to power wnk.
815am Leave home and wander over the road to work.
8.31am Red light at crossing so 1 minute late for work and get bollocked for my tardiness by manager who couldn't spell alarm clock let alone work out why no-one else in the office does anything.
10.50am Finished all my work. Seriously bored and spend the remainder of the morning wondering how the retards I work with can stretch the work out into a day let alone a week.
1pm Back from lunch listening to Test Match Special who are more fun and up to date than my co-workers. Worrying.
1.10pm Find out that a student has the wrong name on his account and so cannot open a much needed bank account. Laziest cnt in the office tells him we can't update his name as we are so busy this week, he will need to return next week. She then looks around the office lapping up the applause from the other morose oxygen thieving cnts.
1.15pm Still no strength for a power wnk.
2pm A date for a free picnic for staff is greeted with howls of derision and a Bolshevik air of rebellion permeates the office due to the fact that food will not be provided but a free beer and ice lollies will.
5pm After 3 hours of antagonistic mutterings from women old enough to not only know better but to have retired and left me in piece I am bollocked by manager in regards to my attitude. Apparently telling people they aren't doing their job is not within my remit, I ask her why it doesn't seem to be in hers either and why I won't get a pay raise despite picking up the work of two people who have left. She tells me my attitude needs looking at and I should consider whether I want a career at the University.
5.15pm In pub watching the cricket.
9pm Seriously drunk.
10pm Home and in bed with Babestation on.
10.05pm Still haven't got the strength for a power wnk.
Sexy Asian dwarves wanted.
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The Worst Job You Ever Had.. on 13:30 - Jun 23 with 6446 views
The Worst Job You Ever Had.. on 13:18 - Jun 23 by toboboly
7.30am Wake up, wish I had coke/booze to forget about goiong to work.
7.40am Shower, haven't got the strength to power wnk.
815am Leave home and wander over the road to work.
8.31am Red light at crossing so 1 minute late for work and get bollocked for my tardiness by manager who couldn't spell alarm clock let alone work out why no-one else in the office does anything.
10.50am Finished all my work. Seriously bored and spend the remainder of the morning wondering how the retards I work with can stretch the work out into a day let alone a week.
1pm Back from lunch listening to Test Match Special who are more fun and up to date than my co-workers. Worrying.
1.10pm Find out that a student has the wrong name on his account and so cannot open a much needed bank account. Laziest cnt in the office tells him we can't update his name as we are so busy this week, he will need to return next week. She then looks around the office lapping up the applause from the other morose oxygen thieving cnts.
1.15pm Still no strength for a power wnk.
2pm A date for a free picnic for staff is greeted with howls of derision and a Bolshevik air of rebellion permeates the office due to the fact that food will not be provided but a free beer and ice lollies will.
5pm After 3 hours of antagonistic mutterings from women old enough to not only know better but to have retired and left me in piece I am bollocked by manager in regards to my attitude. Apparently telling people they aren't doing their job is not within my remit, I ask her why it doesn't seem to be in hers either and why I won't get a pay raise despite picking up the work of two people who have left. She tells me my attitude needs looking at and I should consider whether I want a career at the University.
5.15pm In pub watching the cricket.
9pm Seriously drunk.
10pm Home and in bed with Babestation on.
10.05pm Still haven't got the strength for a power wnk.
where did it all go wrong for us mate!!
i have carved out a much more dynamic career over the last 5 years being sworn at by displaced youths with a arsenal of weapons in their turn ups for 50p per year.
" I guess in four or five years, the new generation's music will be .. electronics, tapes. I can kind of envision .. maybe one person .. with a lot of machines, tapes, and electronics setups, singin or speaking .. and using machines " James Douglas Morrison | 1969
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The Worst Job You Ever Had.. on 14:26 - Jun 23 with 6391 views
7.00 am wake up to the noise of Mrs P Shouting at Step daughter to get up and get ready for School,
7.30 am ask Mrs P for a quick Nosh, told to feck off as she has the lunches to pack
7.45 ask Mrs P if she has done the lunches and if she can fit in the Nosh, told to again to feck off and go to sort yourself out
8.00 jump in car and drive to MK
9.00 Start work , or troll LFW to see if we have signed Rio or hope a debate pops up about flat roof Disco's
10.00 manage to start some work
10.05 back on LFW
12.00 LUNCH, quick pint at lunch (speak to Mrs P who informs me she is making lamb bean casserole tonight ) fatal mistake fellas that you tell the mrs you liked one of her dishes as your now guaranteed it for the next 6 nights (yeah can't wait love, whilst hoping for pie & chips )
14.00 listen to the Man utd divs at work debating if Ronaldo waxes his chest or if Nani really does serve lamb Kormas at the weekend
14.30 fake enthusiasm to my boss re the new super duper premises we buying and how "its good news for the company" (yeah like I give a sh*t )
15.00 listen to the office idiot tell me about the 10 jager bombs they did last night and how hardcore him & his mates are (kunts)
16.00-17.00 troll LFW until Home Time
18.00 - 19.00 a couple in the pub to brace myself for Mrs P Cooking ( its sh*t)
20.00 fake enjoyment of dinner ,
20.15 brace myself for a night of "corrie " & east fecking enders with a sly scotch
22.00 fake tiredness to go upstairs and knock one out to bangbabes or the 10 minute preview on television X
22.05 business done
23.00 fall asleep and think
And Bowles is onside, Swinburne has come rushing out of his goal , what can Bowles do here , onto the left foot no, on to the right foot
That’s there that’s two, and that’s Bowles
Brian Moore
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The Worst Job You Ever Had.. on 14:27 - Jun 23 with 6388 views
The Worst Job You Ever Had.. on 14:34 - Jun 23 by Tonto
clearing up after pished up city w@nkers must be pretty soul destroying...
yep , being a city wa nker back then, i gave them plenty of overtime...shitty underpants in the bogs, blood soaked kleenex from the charlie, vomit in the gutters on freegans/tramps, spunk laden socks as stiff and rigid as a guardian reader actually living in east ham for 24 hours , left in the pub cisterns around the square mile.
great post parker!!!!
btw ....has someone told peejay that this thread 'has nothing to do with qpr'?. i think he should be told.
[Post edited 23 Jun 2014 15:29]
" I guess in four or five years, the new generation's music will be .. electronics, tapes. I can kind of envision .. maybe one person .. with a lot of machines, tapes, and electronics setups, singin or speaking .. and using machines " James Douglas Morrison | 1969
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The Worst Job You Ever Had.. on 15:47 - Jun 23 with 6297 views
The Worst Job You Ever Had.. on 15:25 - Jun 23 by Discodroid
yep , being a city wa nker back then, i gave them plenty of overtime...shitty underpants in the bogs, blood soaked kleenex from the charlie, vomit in the gutters on freegans/tramps, spunk laden socks as stiff and rigid as a guardian reader actually living in east ham for 24 hours , left in the pub cisterns around the square mile.
great post parker!!!!
btw ....has someone told peejay that this thread 'has nothing to do with qpr'?. i think he should be told.
[Post edited 23 Jun 2014 15:29]
talking of shitty pants Disco I remember working for one company when I thought I would squeeze out a cheeky horse & cart only to follow through cue a usain bolt dash to the bogs where said undergarments were removed and tossed out of the window only to end up on the finance directors Ariel, the look and shock as he explained how someone dumped a pair of shitty pants on his pride and joy was a picture the funny thing was he blamed it on the work experience lad, ha ha
And Bowles is onside, Swinburne has come rushing out of his goal , what can Bowles do here , onto the left foot no, on to the right foot
That’s there that’s two, and that’s Bowles
Brian Moore
The Worst Job You Ever Had.. on 15:47 - Jun 23 by paulparker
talking of shitty pants Disco I remember working for one company when I thought I would squeeze out a cheeky horse & cart only to follow through cue a usain bolt dash to the bogs where said undergarments were removed and tossed out of the window only to end up on the finance directors Ariel, the look and shock as he explained how someone dumped a pair of shitty pants on his pride and joy was a picture the funny thing was he blamed it on the work experience lad, ha ha
hahaha.. lets face it mate, were both renaissance men of jacobean stock!.
must dash, need to set up a linear computation for the most effective england midfield , for the crunch game with pablo escobars works XI tomorrow afternoon.
im thinking a free spirited libero, underpinning our progressie full backs who in turn supplicate an interchangable midfield pentangle with flat iron ryan ray lewington in the false number 9 position.
who fackin cares!!
" I guess in four or five years, the new generation's music will be .. electronics, tapes. I can kind of envision .. maybe one person .. with a lot of machines, tapes, and electronics setups, singin or speaking .. and using machines " James Douglas Morrison | 1969
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The Worst Job You Ever Had.. on 18:52 - Jun 23 with 6226 views
Disco you sound like a P&I broker, Britannia Steam?
My worst job was laying paving slabs. All day long, out doors in sun, wind and rain, shovelling cement and carrying bastard heavy paving slabs. In Nottinghamcüntshire.
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The Worst Job You Ever Had.. on 19:30 - Jun 23 with 6201 views
Disco and Paul Parker LOL everyone at work thought I was having some sort of seizure I was cracking up at my desk reading those
Highlights include......
14.00 listen to the Man utd divs at work debating if Ronaldo waxes his chest or if Nani really does serve lamb Kormas at the weekend
11.15pm: time for home!!!. ring estranged ex colleagues wife on train home , wired to fu ck, with propositions of a sexual nature, realise you have in fact rung your sister, but continue anyway.
I reckon Disco could turn his into a 'How to' ladybird book.
Was that Ye Olde Cheshire cheese in Fleet St ?
When I have the chance I will regale you with an average working week from the BrixtonR Wilderness years ( Disco Droid TM) May 2000 - May 2003 bet you can't wait lol
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