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Any jokes? 09:04 - Feb 7 with 4254 viewsbuilthjack

I was travelling down the A470 this morning when I saw a lorry spill thousands of snooker balls all over the road.
They are expecting cues.

This post has been edited by an administrator

Swansea Indepenent Poster Of The Year 2021. Dr P / Mart66 / Roathie / Parlay / E20/ Duffle was 2nd, but he is deluded and thinks in his little twisted brain that he won. Poor sod. We let him win this year, as he has cried for a whole year. His 14 usernames, bless his cotton socks.

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Any jokes? on 09:24 - Feb 7 with 3711 viewsdna

Saw an Elbow tribute band that were so good you couldn't tell them from the originals -

They were called Arse
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Any jokes? on 09:29 - Feb 7 with 3697 viewsoldcob

A lorry carrying a load of preparation H overturned between Margam and Bridgend this morning. Police say the village of Pyle has disappeared.
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Any jokes? on 09:34 - Feb 7 with 3689 viewsoldcob

A chemist's shop in Neath was broken into last night. Everything except combs and hair products and Durex condoms was stolen. Police are now looking for a bald-headed Catholic.
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Any jokes? on 10:08 - Feb 7 with 3649 viewsonehunglow

Any jokes? on 09:34 - Feb 7 by oldcob

A chemist's shop in Neath was broken into last night. Everything except combs and hair products and Durex condoms was stolen. Police are now looking for a bald-headed Catholic.


Very old

Poll: Christmas. Enjoyable or not

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Any jokes? on 11:01 - Feb 7 with 3636 viewsAguycalledJack

I went to the zoo the other day. It only had one dog in it…… it was a Shih Tzu
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Any jokes? on 11:41 - Feb 7 with 3619 viewsJoesus_Of_Narbereth

The Swansea city defence.

Poll: We all dream of a managerial team of Alan Tates?

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Any jokes? on 12:23 - Feb 7 with 3596 viewsCountyJim

Went to buy a new fish yesterday the bloke behind the counter said "would you like an aquarium" I said "I don't care what star sign it is I just want a fish"
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Any jokes? on 12:56 - Feb 7 with 3588 viewsJoesus_Of_Narbereth

I went into a shop and said “will anybody sell me a kettle?” The shopkeeper said “kenwood?” I said “where is he then?”

Poll: We all dream of a managerial team of Alan Tates?

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Any jokes? on 13:01 - Feb 7 with 3583 viewsJoesus_Of_Narbereth

There’s a new zoo opened nearby. I went the other day but the only animal they have is a dog. It’s a shitzu.

Poll: We all dream of a managerial team of Alan Tates?

1
Any jokes? on 13:48 - Feb 7 with 3558 viewstheloneranger

. A guy goes to the supermarket and notices a woman waving at him.

She says ... "Hello" ... and he's taken aback because he can't place where he knows her from.

So he says, "Do you know me" ??

To which she replies, "I think you're the father of one of my kids"

He says, "My God, are you the stripper from my bachelor party that I made love to on the pool table while your friend whipped my arse with wet celery" ??

She looks into his eyes and says calmly, "No, I'm your son's teacher"!!

Everyday above ground ... Is a good day! 😎

2
Any jokes? on 18:15 - Feb 7 with 3504 viewsFlashberryjack

Irish man knocks on the door of a brothel.

The madam opens the door, and he asks her "what can I get for 50p "

A rather miffed madam snarls at him and says "go away and have a w*nk"

10 minutes later the Irishman knocks on the door again, and asks "where do I pay"

Hello
Poll: Should the Senedd be Abolished

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Any jokes? on 18:23 - Feb 7 with 3499 viewsunion_jack

Bono and The Edge go into a Dublin bar and the barman says “oh not U2 again”.
[Post edited 7 Feb 2023 18:43]

Are Sperm Whales the reason the sea is so salty?
Poll: Bony - Would You Want Him Back?

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Any jokes? on 18:25 - Feb 7 with 3492 viewsunion_jack

I’ve started telling people about the benefits of eating dried grapes. It’s all about raisin awareness.

Are Sperm Whales the reason the sea is so salty?
Poll: Bony - Would You Want Him Back?

1
Any jokes? on 18:26 - Feb 7 with 3486 viewsunion_jack

Dad, are we pyromaniacs?
Yes, we arson

Are Sperm Whales the reason the sea is so salty?
Poll: Bony - Would You Want Him Back?

1
Any jokes? on 19:01 - Feb 7 with 3439 viewsbuilthjack

My neighbour stole a calendar.
He got 12 months.

Swansea Indepenent Poster Of The Year 2021. Dr P / Mart66 / Roathie / Parlay / E20/ Duffle was 2nd, but he is deluded and thinks in his little twisted brain that he won. Poor sod. We let him win this year, as he has cried for a whole year. His 14 usernames, bless his cotton socks.

1
Any jokes? on 20:06 - Feb 7 with 3393 viewsKeithHaynes

Cardiff.

A great believer in taking anything you like to wherever you want to.
Blog: Do you want to start a career in journalism ?

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Any jokes? on 20:44 - Feb 7 with 3355 viewsSullutaCreturned

Levein and Kaplan...
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Any jokes? on 20:45 - Feb 7 with 3354 viewsmax936

Any jokes? on 13:48 - Feb 7 by theloneranger

. A guy goes to the supermarket and notices a woman waving at him.

She says ... "Hello" ... and he's taken aback because he can't place where he knows her from.

So he says, "Do you know me" ??

To which she replies, "I think you're the father of one of my kids"

He says, "My God, are you the stripper from my bachelor party that I made love to on the pool table while your friend whipped my arse with wet celery" ??

She looks into his eyes and says calmly, "No, I'm your son's teacher"!!


Very good that

Poll: Will it Snow this coming Winter

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Any jokes? on 21:03 - Feb 7 with 3347 viewstheloneranger

Last night I decided to go for a meal at an Eskimo restaurant.

I sat down and asked the waiter for a menu.

The waiter said , "I'm very sorry but we don't have a lot of options.

So I'll just call them out to you"

"We have whale meat steaks, we have whale meat curry, we have whale meat stir fry, and of course we have the Vera Lynn.

I asked, "What's the Vera Lynn??"


He replied, "Whale Meat Again" ...!!

Everyday above ground ... Is a good day! 😎

3
Any jokes? on 09:02 - Feb 8 with 3274 viewsdna

Went to the zoo and saw a baguette in a cage - the zoo keeper said it was "bread in captivity"
1
Any jokes? on 12:00 - Feb 8 with 3249 viewsJoesus_Of_Narbereth

I got into a fight one time with a really big bloke and he said I’m going to mop the floor with your face. I said you’ll regret it. He said oh yeah why? I said well you won’t be able to get into the corners very well

Poll: We all dream of a managerial team of Alan Tates?

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Any jokes? on 12:10 - Feb 8 with 3245 viewstheloneranger

My grandmother started walking five miles a day when she was 60.

Now she's 97 years old - We don't know where she is ...!!

Everyday above ground ... Is a good day! 😎

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Any jokes? on 12:19 - Feb 8 with 3244 viewsSTID2017

Just had an email telling me how to read maps backwards.

It was spam ...

"Sanity and happiness are an impossible combination" - Mark Twain
Poll: Who Would You Want As Captain For Swans ?

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Any jokes? on 00:42 - Feb 24 with 3061 viewstheloneranger

A Primary Teacher in Cardiff explains to her class that she is a Cardiff City fan. She asks her students to raise their hands if they too are Cardiff fans.

Everyone in the class raises their hand except one little girl. The teacher looks at the girl with surprise and says, 'Mary, why didn't you raise your hand?'

'Because I'm not a Cardiff fan,' she replied.

The teacher, still shocked, asked, 'Well, if you are not a Cardiff fan, then who are you a fan of ?'

'I am a Swansea City fan, and proud of it,' Mary replied.

The teacher could not believe her ears. 'Mary, why are you a Swansea City fan?'

'Because my mum is a Swansea City fan, and my dad is a Swansea City fan, so I'm a Swansea City fan too !'

'Well,' said the teacher in an obviously annoyed tone, 'that is no reason for you to be a Swansea City fan. You don't have to be just like your parents all of the time. What if your mum was a prostitute and your dad was a drug addict, what would you be then?'

'Then,' Mary smiled, 'I'd be a Cardiff City fan.'

Everyday above ground ... Is a good day! 😎

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Any jokes? on 06:43 - Feb 24 with 3036 viewsjackal

Man walks into a pub and shouts out "All Cardiff fans are ars*oles".

A big guy in the corner stands up and growls "I resent that"

"Oh, you're a Cardiff fan" said the the first man.

"No. I'm an ars*ole".
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