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Some Oldies But Goldies 11:49 - Jan 16 with 1123 viewsSaintNick

My wife left me last night because I robbed her wheelchair. She'll come crawling back

Phoned 999 up last night. "Two girls are fighting over me"
Bizzy said "What's the problem?"
l said "The fat one's winning"

Got stopped by the police before.
"Where were you between 5 and 11?
I said, "Primary school"

I'm on Embarrassing Bodies next week. One of my balls is bigger than the other three

Went to the chip shop before and asked for a chicken dinner. I got a bowl of corn (it was fowl)

In bed last night pulling off my boxers. "You spoil them dogs" said the wife.

Satisfying The Bloodlust Of The Masses In Peacetime

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Some Oldies But Goldies on 12:21 - Jan 16 with 1095 viewsFrontwheeler

… a host welcomed his guest to a fancy dress party
Host: Hello, what have you come as?
Guest: A harp
Host: Your costume’s not big enough to be a harp.
Guest: Are you calling me a lyre?
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Some Oldies But Goldies on 12:31 - Jan 16 with 1090 viewskentsouthampton

Got pulled over by a traffic policeman yesterday, he said your wife fell out the car a mile back,I said that's a relief I thought I'd gone deaf.
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Some Oldies But Goldies on 12:58 - Jan 16 with 1059 views1885_SFC

The wife just asked me whether I love her or football the most?... I said "Open your legs and I will show you"...
...So I nutmegged her.

Old School is Cool

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Some Oldies But Goldies on 08:34 - Jan 17 with 884 viewsFredAndWhite

Apparently when you buy cabbage at Coles greengrocers
you are then legally obliged to buy carrots and mayonnaise
it's Coles law.

Poll: What is your GOAL OF THE MONTH for December?

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Some Oldies But Goldies on 11:13 - Jan 17 with 835 viewshedgeend61

I went to see a brilliant Elbow tribute band called Arse.

I couldn't tell one from the other.
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