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Funny things you have seen at a football match 18:18 - Oct 21 with 10172 viewsCFW

I took my grandson to watch our local team on Saturday afternoon - I used to be very involved with them in the past and was chairman of the youth football teams for quite a few years so obviously I know quite a few people at the club.

Anyway the first team are doing much better this year after three years of total dross - on Saturday the game kicked off and after about half an hour the ball went in the air and was contested by one of our team and one the the opposition. Their player came off worse and was on the floor - we noticed something on the ground and assumed it was a bit of turf that had been ripped up but no it was not - his wig had come off and was on the ground next to him. He tried to get it back on but this was not an easy job - we were pissing ourselves and even his team mates could see the funny side and were trying very hard not to laugh.

Wiggy as we then called him, did not come out for the second half which was a pity
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Funny things you have seen at a football match on 10:22 - Oct 22 with 2783 viewsPlanetHonneywood

Funny things you have seen at a football match on 08:30 - Oct 22 by DannyPaddox



Though Honeywood’s leg was in an offside position when the goal was scored, if we go back to the previous phase of play when the prosthetic was intact we find that the scoring limb was both onside and behind the ball. The goal stands - unlike the goal scorer immediately after. GOAL!


Outstanding!

I thought I was flying back for the Reading game. Instead I’m in the chair at The Castle in Holland Park tonight and first drink: whatever Daniel wants barkeep.


'Always In Motion' by John Honney available on amazon.co.uk
Poll: Who should do the Birmingham Frederick?

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Funny things you have seen at a football match on 10:37 - Oct 22 with 2761 viewstimcocking

Funny things you have seen at a football match on 09:56 - Oct 22 by JAPRANGERS

The old git flashing the sausage used to be on here up to about 2 seasons ago. Holloway, remember him? The guy who claimed he had a harem of about 10 lesbians

What happened to the dude??


You're not serious, that's not Holloway, is it? We'll certainly all remember him. Somebody know, is that Holloway? That'd be a classic.

Think Clive finally lost patience and banned him, didn't he?
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Funny things you have seen at a football match on 11:31 - Oct 22 with 2701 viewsSonofNorfolt

Funny things you have seen at a football match on 10:37 - Oct 22 by timcocking

You're not serious, that's not Holloway, is it? We'll certainly all remember him. Somebody know, is that Holloway? That'd be a classic.

Think Clive finally lost patience and banned him, didn't he?


Mainly because he is a simpleton.
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Funny things you have seen at a football match on 12:12 - Oct 22 with 2648 viewsPeterHucker

Funny things you have seen at a football match on 07:33 - Oct 22 by Walnut

Hartlepool Deckchair guy (sorry, need to mention him at least once a season)


Still gutted that I missed this.
I was at that match but went to get food at half time.
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Funny things you have seen at a football match on 12:19 - Oct 22 with 2640 viewsPeterHucker

England B game at Loftus Road in the early 90s.

Gary Mabbutt was playing for England and some bloke in the centre of the Lower Loft spent the whole evening trying to get his attention shouting his name over and over again whenever he was near.

After this had gone on for most of the game, there was a break in play and this bloke was still shouting "Mabbutt! Mabbutt!!" repeatedly, Mabbutt finally looked over in his direction and gestured "what?"

Only for our hero to loudly bellow "Mabbutt you're a CU NT!"
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Funny things you have seen at a football match on 16:12 - Oct 22 with 2563 viewsPinnerPaul

Funny things you have seen at a football match on 08:30 - Oct 22 by Metallica_Hoop

Sitting next to a drunk guy in ellerslie with Orthodox_Hoop he was from somewhere either in Africa or middle east (accent was hard to tell) anyway he loved Tarby and the linesman wasn't giving him any support. "My friend the number 9" he kept telling us.

Anyway the lino made another bad decision and he turned to us and said "If this was my country we would kill him" nodding sagely.

I tried very hard not to smile.


'Just because you're wearing green lino, doesn't mean I can't see you' was one of the wittier criticisms of the 'linos' I 've heard from ER.
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Funny things you have seen at a football match on 17:42 - Oct 22 with 2495 viewsDannyPaddox

Funny things you have seen at a football match on 10:22 - Oct 22 by PlanetHonneywood

Outstanding!

I thought I was flying back for the Reading game. Instead I’m in the chair at The Castle in Holland Park tonight and first drink: whatever Daniel wants barkeep.



Mr H. was hoping to take you up on your kind offer alas I’m now running late and have a meet on the Goldhawk Road. Of course if you’re there apres-match ...
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Funny things you have seen at a football match on 20:05 - Oct 22 with 2437 viewscharmr

Don Givens rounding Joe Corrigan with the goal empty then slips and falls over. Huge derision and laughter from the crowd prompted Don to give the crowd a two fingered salute.
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Funny things you have seen at a football match on 23:23 - Oct 22 with 2393 viewssmegma

Funny things you have seen at a football match on 09:56 - Oct 22 by JAPRANGERS

The old git flashing the sausage used to be on here up to about 2 seasons ago. Holloway, remember him? The guy who claimed he had a harem of about 10 lesbians

What happened to the dude??


Are you sure ?? I thought Holloway lived in north London? The stripper bloke had an incomprehensible Scottish accent and I think lived in White City estate.
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Funny things you have seen at a football match on 23:26 - Oct 22 with 2391 viewssmegma

Forget this dementia story, my mate was at Saint Panteleimon v London Lions tonight at North Greenford Uniteds ground. One of the Lions players couldn't play as he has had a hair transplant and isn't allowed to head the ball for a month !!!
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Funny things you have seen at a football match on 23:44 - Oct 22 with 2378 viewstimcocking

Funny things you have seen at a football match on 23:23 - Oct 22 by smegma

Are you sure ?? I thought Holloway lived in north London? The stripper bloke had an incomprehensible Scottish accent and I think lived in White City estate.


I didn't think that looked like Holloway, not that i know what he looks like mind you. I'd like it confirmed, because i'd find it truly hilarious if it was.

If it was, he should be invited back. Got to respect that.
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Funny things you have seen at a football match on 23:54 - Oct 22 with 2376 viewsdistortR

The mighty Joe Young (Rip)

train journey back from wherever, a gobby everton fan is annoying us. Joe flicks his fag at him, the everton shirt starts smoking and the bloke starts running around frantically beating at it. Cue much hilarity, joe nicked, train misses slot, when we eventually get in, he's been back for ages.

but the perfection of the flicked fag going down his shirt,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,genius

funniest thing seen coming back from yet another defeat up north
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Funny things you have seen at a football match on 02:19 - Oct 23 with 2352 viewsBoston

Funny things you have seen at a football match on 09:42 - Oct 22 by smegma

I'm just out of view on the left back row. My daughter was mascot and I had to cover her eyes as the div decided to strip.


Still the greatest QPR I’ve ever seen.

Shared it with a few non Rangers, they love it, think Loftus Rd is full of nutters. I do nothing to dispel that allusion.

Poll: Thank God The Seaons Over.

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Funny things you have seen at a football match on 03:02 - Oct 23 with 2343 viewsBrianMcCarthy

Funny things you have seen at a football match on 23:54 - Oct 22 by distortR

The mighty Joe Young (Rip)

train journey back from wherever, a gobby everton fan is annoying us. Joe flicks his fag at him, the everton shirt starts smoking and the bloke starts running around frantically beating at it. Cue much hilarity, joe nicked, train misses slot, when we eventually get in, he's been back for ages.

but the perfection of the flicked fag going down his shirt,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,genius

funniest thing seen coming back from yet another defeat up north


Joe really was mighty.

Quiet but deadly.

"The opposite of love, after all, is not hate, but indifference."
Poll: Player of the Year (so far)

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Funny things you have seen at a football match on 11:24 - Oct 23 with 2283 viewsPlanetHonneywood

Funny things you have seen at a football match on 17:42 - Oct 22 by DannyPaddox

Mr H. was hoping to take you up on your kind offer alas I’m now running late and have a meet on the Goldhawk Road. Of course if you’re there apres-match ...


Such rapier like wit must not dry for the want of lubrication.

This board should arrange a Crimbo drink I feel. Names, top-faces, geezers, no runners need apply. Old skool....’kin ‘ave it!!

Doha Rs will (subject to Mrs PH’s planning) pay its debts in due course.

Inshallah

'Always In Motion' by John Honney available on amazon.co.uk
Poll: Who should do the Birmingham Frederick?

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Funny things you have seen at a football match on 18:52 - Oct 23 with 2192 viewsTheRam

Funny things you have seen at a football match on 11:31 - Oct 22 by SonofNorfolt

Mainly because he is a simpleton.


Must be more to it than that. You’re still on here. X
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Funny things you have seen at a football match on 20:15 - Oct 23 with 2135 viewsGroveR

Funny things you have seen at a football match on 18:52 - Oct 23 by TheRam

Must be more to it than that. You’re still on here. X


During the old rivals boards days we had a friendly organised between the regulars on the QPR and Brentford forums. Serious stuff, pride of West London at stake, we had a proper pitch, a badged FA ref and a coaching team unparalleled at that level (Ron and Simon from qprnet).

I was picked up front with another regular poster, roaddog2020 in a Redknapp-esque selection gaffe that overlooked 1) I was pissed 2) he was stoned and 3) we were both shìt footballers but managed to win the only contest we did all match - the toss.

I spotted the Brentford keeper 10 yards outside his area and told the roaddog we'd chip him when the whistle blew. It did, we both tried, neither really connected and it took about 5 minutes for the ball to clear the centre circle with the Brentford players not sure what to do and me and roaddog on our arsès bursting our bollòcks laughing.

You can't take this football malarkey too seriously.
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Funny things you have seen at a football match on 20:20 - Oct 23 with 2132 viewsloftboy

Funny things you have seen at a football match on 20:15 - Oct 23 by GroveR

During the old rivals boards days we had a friendly organised between the regulars on the QPR and Brentford forums. Serious stuff, pride of West London at stake, we had a proper pitch, a badged FA ref and a coaching team unparalleled at that level (Ron and Simon from qprnet).

I was picked up front with another regular poster, roaddog2020 in a Redknapp-esque selection gaffe that overlooked 1) I was pissed 2) he was stoned and 3) we were both shìt footballers but managed to win the only contest we did all match - the toss.

I spotted the Brentford keeper 10 yards outside his area and told the roaddog we'd chip him when the whistle blew. It did, we both tried, neither really connected and it took about 5 minutes for the ball to clear the centre circle with the Brentford players not sure what to do and me and roaddog on our arsès bursting our bollòcks laughing.

You can't take this football malarkey too seriously.


I played in the rematch in 2004, we were 2-0 up at HT, they put their Sunday team out in the second half and did us 3-2, I was 37 at the time and playing centre back, the kid that came on was about 20, I must have looked like Leistner looked like last night.

favourite cheese mature Cheddar. FFS there is no such thing as the EPL
Poll: Are you watching the World Cup

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Funny things you have seen at a football match on 20:30 - Oct 27 with 1958 viewsOutWestR

Bumping this one up after spotting a photo that I hadn’t seen before. The link takes you to a book and the photo you want is in one of the thumbnail images...

https://bluecoatpress.co.uk/product/the-game-revisited/
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Funny things you have seen at a football match on 21:17 - Oct 27 with 1922 viewsloftboy

Funny things you have seen at a football match on 03:02 - Oct 23 by BrianMcCarthy

Joe really was mighty.

Quiet but deadly.


Three days after the milk cup up at Liverpool we played then in the league, on th strain on the way home Joe decides he needs a piss, so he hit his dick out and pîssed where he stood. I luckily saw what he was going to do and moved sharpish, unlike others in the carriage.
I understand he was living in an escort van at the time, next time I saw him he had sorted himself out and looks a different person, another who passed far too young.

favourite cheese mature Cheddar. FFS there is no such thing as the EPL
Poll: Are you watching the World Cup

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Funny things you have seen at a football match on 22:10 - Oct 27 with 1885 viewsMrSheen

We were at home to Grimsby in the days when Wasps shared the ground. The rugby touchlines were about a metre in from the football lines, and John Oster went to take a throw in front of R block. The crowd started jeering and players from both sides pointed at him and shouted. Oster stopped and hesitated a couple of times but went ahead and threw the ball. He was the only person in the place who didn’t know he was standing on the rugby line. The ref blew for a foul throw and everyone laughed.
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Funny things you have seen at a football match on 22:46 - Oct 27 with 1865 viewsBoston

Funny things you have seen at a football match on 21:17 - Oct 27 by loftboy

Three days after the milk cup up at Liverpool we played then in the league, on th strain on the way home Joe decides he needs a piss, so he hit his dick out and pîssed where he stood. I luckily saw what he was going to do and moved sharpish, unlike others in the carriage.
I understand he was living in an escort van at the time, next time I saw him he had sorted himself out and looks a different person, another who passed far too young.


I didn’t know Joe, but that didn’t stop him poncing money off me to get home from away games😀
[Post edited 27 Oct 2019 23:34]

Poll: Thank God The Seaons Over.

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Funny things you have seen at a football match on 09:38 - Oct 28 with 1782 viewsdistortR

Funny things you have seen at a football match on 22:46 - Oct 27 by Boston

I didn’t know Joe, but that didn’t stop him poncing money off me to get home from away games😀
[Post edited 27 Oct 2019 23:34]


he was chaos on legs and utterly fearless for his own safety, and cared deeply for his mates. Never a boring away day with Joe about!!

He had to be smuggled out of a pub in manchester once, bloke was going to shoot him over a post-match game of pool!
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