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Day 1 - Toronto. Tactical mistake not drugging the children on the 8 hour flight over. Mini Dorse got through 3 pairs of complimentary headphones. Air Canada has THE oldest cabin crew (male, comb-over, cardigan - I kid you not) in the history or international aviation. Toronto is brilliant but I worry about the poor homeless bastards who seem to sleep on every downtown cross-walk.
Word of the day: 'Cross-walk' - what Daddy does when Mini-Dorse or Tantor have pissed him off for the ninth time that hour.
[Post edited 13 Dec 2015 16:54]
'What do we want? We don't know! When do we want it? Now!'
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Dorse's Travels: An Occasional Series on 17:17 - Dec 13 with 3881 views
Dorse's Travels: An Occasional Series on 17:17 - Dec 13 by BklynRanger
What's the weather like up there Dorse? It's some kind of Indian Spring down here today, very odd.
No worse than Dorset, to be fair. Makes my Nanuk of the North-tribute outfit and whale blubber sandwiches sadly redundant.
Got lost in the Bay. Orangina, Mini-Dorse and Tantor all fcuked off and left me. I was discovered, weeping, dehydrated and confused by rescue parties on the South Col of menswear.
Today's new beers: Muskoka Lager and Steamwhistle Pilsner. The lager was easy - could do a serious binge without attending casualty - but the Pilsner was harder work. I hope you all appreciate the hard research I'm undertaking on your behalf.
You're welcome. Hic.
Off to dinner / binge with my Sis and sis in law. Both insane. Both hilarious.
'What do we want? We don't know! When do we want it? Now!'
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Dorse's Travels: An Occasional Series on 22:00 - Dec 13 with 3738 views
Dorse's Travels: An Occasional Series on 23:20 - Dec 13 by enfieldargh
Got absolutely bladdered in the Irish Embassy Bar & Grill on Yonge Street, gorgeous looking female bar staff.
Irish embassy not too bad,but the bronze rail a little further north on younge st better mind you might have to loose the wife before you go there,plus bring lot of $ [ripper bar]
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Dorse's Travels: An Occasional Series on 14:08 - Dec 14 with 3508 views
Dorse's Travels: An Occasional Series on 17:25 - Dec 13 by Pommyhoop
Driving back from dinner last night, we went through a, shall we say, more 'festive' part of the city where the denizens appeared to be variously 'good with colours', prone to supra-puddular aerobatics or well acquainted with musical theatre.
Anyway, one member of the aforementioned group, looked suspiciously like this lady's double, right down to the ozone-wrecking hairdo. It could've been her sister. Brother? Broster? Whatever. At he/she had the decency to retain his or her peginis in his or her pants.
Day 2: terrible guts. Heading off to do the tourist bit downtown.
Word of the day: 'Downtown' - somewhere that is populated by be-hickied, kappa-clad teenage mums. You know, Swindon.
'What do we want? We don't know! When do we want it? Now!'
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Dorse's Travels: An Occasional Series on 00:29 - Dec 15 with 3432 views
Dorse's Travels: An Occasional Series on 14:08 - Dec 14 by Dorse
Driving back from dinner last night, we went through a, shall we say, more 'festive' part of the city where the denizens appeared to be variously 'good with colours', prone to supra-puddular aerobatics or well acquainted with musical theatre.
Anyway, one member of the aforementioned group, looked suspiciously like this lady's double, right down to the ozone-wrecking hairdo. It could've been her sister. Brother? Broster? Whatever. At he/she had the decency to retain his or her peginis in his or her pants.
Day 2: terrible guts. Heading off to do the tourist bit downtown.
Word of the day: 'Downtown' - somewhere that is populated by be-hickied, kappa-clad teenage mums. You know, Swindon.
Update: CN Tower - high. Skating (in the rain) outside City Hall - wet for all members of Clan McDorse, apart from yours truly, who last skated 30 years ago and somehow remained upright. Ha! Arse off Karma, you old t wat.
Beer of the Day: Barking Squirrel Lager. Dark lager and very nice. Tried to nick the cool glass (old habits and all that) but the missus claimed I was setting some form of 'bad example'. Frankly, I'd have thought the years of alcoholism and creative / anatomically dubious Tourette's was more of a bad example but of this, she says not a thing. I respond with a flounce that would rival anything yet seen by human eyes, receiving applause from staff and customers alike as I exit the restaurant, Mini-Dorse and Tantor scattering rose petals in my path, as I progress regally through the Eaton Centre, pausing only to heal the sick and lame with a touch or glance.
Something like that anyway.
'What do we want? We don't know! When do we want it? Now!'
Dorse's Travels: An Occasional Series on 00:29 - Dec 15 by Dorse
Update: CN Tower - high. Skating (in the rain) outside City Hall - wet for all members of Clan McDorse, apart from yours truly, who last skated 30 years ago and somehow remained upright. Ha! Arse off Karma, you old t wat.
Beer of the Day: Barking Squirrel Lager. Dark lager and very nice. Tried to nick the cool glass (old habits and all that) but the missus claimed I was setting some form of 'bad example'. Frankly, I'd have thought the years of alcoholism and creative / anatomically dubious Tourette's was more of a bad example but of this, she says not a thing. I respond with a flounce that would rival anything yet seen by human eyes, receiving applause from staff and customers alike as I exit the restaurant, Mini-Dorse and Tantor scattering rose petals in my path, as I progress regally through the Eaton Centre, pausing only to heal the sick and lame with a touch or glance.
Day 3: Ontario Science Centre - seriously good fun.
Beers of the Day: Hogsback - too fcuking sweet; Muskoka Pale Ale - oh yes.
Went to an Irish bar on the advice of my bro in law: PJ O'Brien's. Same family as runs the aforementioned Irish Embassy. Standard 'Seamus O'Dildo'-tat but great atmosphere and good food. Toronto, you should know this one mate. Behind the King Edward hotel (no potato / Ireland joke intended. What am I? Keith fcuking Lemon?)
'What do we want? We don't know! When do we want it? Now!'
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Dorse's Travels: An Occasional Series on 15:43 - Dec 22 with 3157 views
Day Something or Other: now in North Bay after taking kids to Niagra. Many rhyming slang opportunities to be had using 'Niagra Falls'.
Beer Update: Steamwhistle (meh, trying a bit hard), Cameron's (very nice indeed), Sam Adams (argh! Why?!), DAB (that'll do nicely, Sir) and, of course, Rickards Red ('Get some! Get some!' In the style of Joe off Family Guy).
Word of the Day: 'Pronunciation' - what happens when an Abbey Novice goes Professional.
Had a major meltdown in Niagra. Only just hauled myself back. I'd blame the change of meds but I'm scared that it is really me.
Snow yesterday - Mini-Dorse and I made an excellent snow Polar Bear with legs and everything. This morning, said bear is missing a head. Some blame global warming. Mini-Dorse and I have convened an inquest. Tantor is firmly in the frame. She protests innocence but I have my doubts.
'What do we want? We don't know! When do we want it? Now!'
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Dorse's Travels: An Occasional Series on 16:20 - Dec 22 with 3127 views
Dorse's Travels: An Occasional Series on 15:43 - Dec 22 by Dorse
Day Something or Other: now in North Bay after taking kids to Niagra. Many rhyming slang opportunities to be had using 'Niagra Falls'.
Beer Update: Steamwhistle (meh, trying a bit hard), Cameron's (very nice indeed), Sam Adams (argh! Why?!), DAB (that'll do nicely, Sir) and, of course, Rickards Red ('Get some! Get some!' In the style of Joe off Family Guy).
Word of the Day: 'Pronunciation' - what happens when an Abbey Novice goes Professional.
Had a major meltdown in Niagra. Only just hauled myself back. I'd blame the change of meds but I'm scared that it is really me.
Snow yesterday - Mini-Dorse and I made an excellent snow Polar Bear with legs and everything. This morning, said bear is missing a head. Some blame global warming. Mini-Dorse and I have convened an inquest. Tantor is firmly in the frame. She protests innocence but I have my doubts.
Jeez, don't stress over your meltdown. Global warming again, innit?
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