In October QPR cemented their position at the top of the Championship with a 2-1 home win over one of our more impressive opponents to that point, Wigan Athletic. The teams have won four of 50 games between them since and are now both haunted by the spectre of relegation as they prepare to meet again on Saturday.
Lancashire and District Senior League >>> Saturday April 1, 2023 >>> Kick Off 15.00 >>> Weather — Wet and grey >>> DW Stadium, Wigan, Lancashire
"Queens Park Rangers fans in the lower School End. Shit, it seems, is indeed getting real.” Or, so we thought when I sat down on the evening of Sunday October 23 to triumphantly sum up Queens Park Rangers’ eighth win in 11 matches, a hard fought 2-1 against Wigan Athletic, which secured a top of the table billing following a midweek 3-0 humping of Cardiff.
"Seny Dieng’s leveller at Sunderland is increasingly looking like our Mackie-at-Derby moment of another successful campaign,” I added. " For the rest of the title winners, the promotion winners, the play-off competitors, there are days like Wednesday when the whole thing fits like a glove, and then there are days like Saturday where you wrestle with a tricky opponent, absorb injuries, ride your luck, and win anyway. It’s what good teams do, and there’s evidence stacking up that’s exactly what we have on our hands here.” Mick Beale gets mentioned in the same breath as Terry Venables at one point. Dear God. It’s this sort of stuff Kevin Gallen likes to Tweet back at me late at night.
Just to really hammer home my levels of judgement, I quite rated the visitors too: Wigan had at least one very good penalty shout turned down; had an improbable near miss at the death where Josh Magennis (he used to be a goalkeeper you know) contrived to hit underside of the bar, inside of the post and the goal line without scoring with an improvised scissor kick; and scored a first half equaliser through the game’s outstanding player - Everton loanee Nathan Broadhead. "They’ll be more than ok playing like that — zero pissing about, no histrionics, decent football, good shape, bright ideas, good strikers, and let down because they didn’t defend two corners. They were good value for a draw overall, and were singularly unfortunate to be behind at the break. You can see why they’ve already clocked up four away wins.” Fucking div.
There’s always going to be a degree of exaggeration in these things, just through the sheer logistics of writing 50 of them a season for 20 years and trying to keep both regular readers entertained. I am, also, prone to going over the top when QPR win, because I’m a QPR fan and I get excited, and also because I know there are long stretches of LFW where it’s very downbeat and draining for you two so it’s nice to fill the page with joy on the rare occasions it’s vaguely appropriate to do so. I don’t know what I’m talking about, as previously established. And we had won eight of 11 games, we were top of the league, and we were playing well. That’s my excuse(s) and I’m sticking to it/them, but I doubt even the most pessimistic supporter of either club would have predicted then that by the time the return fixture rolled around the two sides would have mustered just four wins from 50 fixtures between them, both would be onto a third manager of the season, Wigan would have collapsed financially again with a player strike and points deduction all but condemning them to League One, and QPR would be in grave danger of joining them with Gareth Ainsworth’s rescue mission turning up only so many 6-1 defeats at Blackpool. Even chuffing Broadhead is now in League One with Ipswich — though did score for Wales in Croatia last week so I may still be onto something with him.
It's the scale of the collapse, to a certain extent at Wigan, but certainly at QPR, that’s most stark as we head into this most foolish of April 1 clashes.
For the Latics, relegation from this league is nothing new. If this one comes to pass it will be a fourth demotion from the second tier in ten seasons. Coming up from League One into the Championship and staying there is a lot tougher than Sunderland have made it look; since we returned to this league in 2015/16 at least one newly promoted team has been relegated every year bar one, and four more dropped in their second season (11 relegations in total, including Wigan twice). Nor is it unusual for a board here in the post-Dave Whelan era to struggle to get the sums to add up at a club in a Premier League stadium, in a rugby league town, surrounded by Premier League competition, with a League One average attendance and income, and a Championship wage bill. Their 19/20 relegation was only thanks to a significant points deduction for entering into administration just as Paul Cook’s team seemed to be hitting its straps, and their most recent three point docking was itself a suspended sentence for a previous failure to pay wages on time.
But, I’ll happily admit again, I was reasonably impressed with them in W12. Perhaps finding it so difficult to beat Wigan at home should have served as a warning sign, but at that point they’d already won four away games, beaten Luton and Blackburn who are now both in the top six, and only lost four of their first 13 games, so it wasn’t just us. Leam Richardson, so well regarded for the manner in which they held off the likes of Sunderland and Sheff Wed to win League One with 92 points, had perhaps been guilty of putting his faith, and expensive contract renewals, into League One stalwarts incapable of lasting the pace at the higher level. Still, his sacking just four games later (and barely a fortnight after his contract was renewed) looked fairly ridiculous, and the appointment of Kolo Toure to replace him just absolutely 64 carat nuts. The team quickly lost 4-1 in successive matches at Boro and home to Sunderland and Hull, drew just two of eight games losing the other six, crashed out of the FA Cup to Luton, and Toure was gone by the end of January. A hull that was, at worst, leaking under Richardson, now had two torpedoes stuck in the side of it. Shaun Maloney has stemmed the rising water levels to the extent they’ve only lost three of ten games, but all but one of the others has been a draw and survival from here looks improbable even by Wigan’s historic standards of escapology.
You’d expect them to win tomorrow, mind. It’s a brave man who backs this once table-topping QPR side for success against anybody in any circumstances at the moment. Two wins in 23 games, seven defeats from eight, a 6-1 loss in their last awayer at Blackpool, the worst defensive record in the league… The good people of Shepherd’s Bush have become accustomed to their team going on long losing runs under all of their recent managers — Jimmy Floyd Hasslebaink won none of his first eight, Ian Holloway had three separate six-game losing streaks, Steve McClaren broke up one win in 17 in the league with a couple of cup victories, Warbs Warburton had one run of six games, two of seven and one of ten during his three years — but this is a biblical collapse. QPR have won one of 16 and lost seven of eight going into Saturday. Their response to this, and really any adversity at all, is just to collapse into a self-pitying, jellied mess on the floor and pray for it to be over. The defeat to Birmingham City at home last weekend, themselves with one win in seven prior, was sealed from the moment the second minute opener hit the net. The way the following 88 minutes played out I bet John Ruddy was gutted he’d bothered changing into his kit at all.
The simple fact is, this isn’t the table-topping QPR team any more. If you look at the side from the Wigan game — (Dieng 6; Laird 6, Balogun 8, Clarke-Salter 7, Paal 7; Johansen 7 (Dozzell 45+3, 5), Field 8, Iroegbunam 6 (Dickie 65, 5); Armstrong 5 (Amos 45, 5), Chair 7 (Richards 90, -), Dykes 7 (Bonne 90, -)) — then you see seven of those starting ten outfielders have been out medium to long term. That catalogue of absentees started the following Friday at Birmingham where World’s Strongest Man 2023 contenders Tyler Roberts, Jake Clarke-Salter and Stefan Johansen all failed to make half time and disappeared for Christmas. Now, whether you believe these injuries are all genuine, whether you think they’re all as serious as has been made out, or you’re suspicious there’s been a degree of (or total) abdication of duties from players who came here to play for Mick Beale and are pissed off he left them, is a moot point. We’ve done it to death.
For now, it would appear, if our salvation isn’t to rely entirely on the bottom three staying as shit as they’ve mercifully and steadfastly been for months, as well as gifts sent our way in this year’s points deduction season, we’re going to need some of these bodies back. Whatever the whys and wherefores of their absences, any team in this league would struggle if you took all ten first team starters away from it for a prolonged period of time, including the entire back four from that run of results that culminated with the Wigan win. We’ve long said QPR’s budget allows for a good starting 11 and absolutely nothing beyond that - scratch the surface and you’re replacing Chris Willock with George Thomas, Ilias Chair with Macauley Bonne, Seny Dieng with Jordan Archer etc — so missing that many players all at once was always going to cause problems even before we get into issues of attitude, mentality, effort, commitment, off field behaviour and so on that, again, we’ve covered in recent weeks.
The team QPR fielded last week is the weakest I’ve seen take the field in our colours since the 2000/01 season, when we were about to collapse into the Second Division and administration. Back then we were also trying to rely on myriad weird and wonderful loans (Paul Furlong, Leon Knight, Paul Peschisolido, Kevin Lisbie, Andy Thomson and Michel Ngonge all had a go at replacing injured duo Chris Kiwomya and Rob Steiner alongside a young Peter Crouch that year) and lost the two star names (Langley and Carlisle) to injury at the same time just as Chair and Willock have been crocked. Osman Kakay, a League One full back if we’re being kind, playing out of position to allow Aaron Drewe, a youth teamer who’s last loan was Oxford City, to at least play on his favoured side of the pitch. Albert Adomah, physically done a year ago and somehow given a two-year extension, filling in (badly) as a wing back. Sam Field, a central midfielder, as a third centre back. Thirty-four-year-old Chris Martin, hauled out of retirement after his Bristol City release to not only be our main striker but also our bloody captain as well… Like I say, it’s the weakest QPR team I’ve seen in 20 years, and it’s playing like it.
So, whatever we think of some of them, however much I’m looking forward to waving them goodbye this summer, and however badly we were playing and losing even with them in the team earlier in this run, the absentees probably hold the key. Leon Balogun, Chris Willock and Ethan Laird are apparently the first three cabs off that rank this weekend after a successful B Team outing during the international break, and if they’re remotely fit and interested in what they’re doing they cannot fail but make a significant difference. The team as it stood going into the international break is bereft of confidence and belief, yes, but also ability to play at this level of football and doesn’t win another game this season in my opinion, so their impact needs to be at least that.
With the rest of the month made up of games against promotion chasers — two of them away, and one of them at Burnley — as well as next week’s home game with the ever niggly Preston, it also needs to be pretty immediate. It needs to be tomorrow.
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Team News: So, Leon Balogun (last appearance November 8, 20 games ago), Ethan Laird (February 14, seven) and Chris Willock (February 11, eight) are all supposedly back and ready to go here. Ilias Chair (February 25, five) and Kenneth Paal (same) are a week away. Tyler Roberts is still off somewhere being "the best version of himself”, we’re offering an Avanti West Coast travel voucher worth £100 (should get you to Watford Junction) for any sighting of Jake Clarke-Salter, and I’m willing to die on the hill that Taylor Richards is actually a work of fiction. As usual, Scotland have treated Lyndon Dykes with the most delicate of kid gloves — responding to him managing to get three QPR appearances in after spending a week on a hospital ventilator with pneumonia by giving hi. 32 minutes action against Cyprus and then straight back to a herculean 89 minute stint against Spain during the week. Absolute piss take. We’ll wait and see what involvement he can now have this weekend. Osman Kakay is a new name - he's done his knee - so if Laird is back we're in that quandary of either playing him left so Drewe can play right, or finding a more senior Adomah or Field type to fill in one side and protect Drewe from the sort of mauling Blackpool gave him. Fun times.
Wigan are struggling at centre back where one of their player of the season candidates Jack Watmough is missing and 19-year-old Charlie Hughes might get just a 14th league start of his professional career. On a day when QPR legends (c Nick London) Will Keane and Steven Caulker will be terrorising the first goalscorer betting slips around the away end, it’s something of a relief to hear Jordan Cousins is, once again, injured. Not much of a surprise, given his fitness record at QPR, and his, ahem, physique in the first meeting this season — looked like we sent him on his way with a gift hamper from King Solomons on the Uxbridge Road. Another fine LFW tip for the top that one. Heart attack survivor Charlie Wyke is a doubt, as I guess you probably would be.
Elsewhere: A bit of a bizarre fixture list this weekend with the three biggest derby games in the division all taking place at the same time.
Having televised such absolute drudge as Rotherham v Blackburn, Birmingham v West Brom, Cardiff v Reading, Swansea v Rotherham and Wigan v Coventry in recent weeks, Sky are this week leaving the play-off clash between bitter rivals Luton and Watford (easily the game of the weekend), and the all-Welsh battle between Cardiff and Swansea (refereed by Keith Stroud, what could possibly go wrong?) with the Bluebirds desperate for points to avoid relegation, on the table. Preston v Blackpool has made the cut for Saturday lunchtime, but the Friday slot has rather bizarrely been spent on Burnley, who are already champions, hosting Sunderland, currently eleventh and seven points away from the play-off places. If the intention was to introduce some sort of US-style "Rivals Round” to try and fluff this retched division up a little bit for your £100+ a month Sky subscription it… hasn’t really worked has it?
Obviously it’s a Swansea and Preston double we’re looking for from that little lot as we look to maintain a six-point and three-place gap to the relegation zone. Occupying that final spot, with 36 points, is Huddersfield, but they’ve got a very tough date on the Fifteenth Annual Neil Warnock Farewell Tour with the visit of Middlesbrough to West Yorkshire on Saturday — Boro now just three points behind second placed Sheffield Red Stripe ahead of their awkward away trip to Borussia Norwich. David Wagner’s side are one place and three points outside the final play-off spot which is currently occupied by Millllllllllll who travel to West Brom. The Baggies’ surge towards the top six under Carlos Corberan has faltered at the worst possible moment — a new set of auditors put out revised financial accounts for the club this week, writing off the £5m the Chinese owners took out the club last season, and saying that a fire sale of players will be required to avoid a meltdown at The Hawthorns if they’re not promoted in May. The only other one of the top six we haven’t mentioned are Blackburn, in fifth, heading to Birmingham.
Back in the deep end of the swamp, Rotherham are one place and two points below us prior to a hop across to Hull. By the time we kick off Reading may also have gone back below us. Although the deadline for points deductions due to financial problems to be applied this season was officially stated as the third Thursday in March, in true EFL fashion it seems there may be an unstated loophole which means suspended penalties (Reading have six points hanging over them as part of an earlier FFP breach) can still be applied and an unstated hearing on an unstated day (possibly today according to Paul Ince Is A Wanker) looks like it’s going to apply those to Reading at an unstated point (maybe tonight). Another triumph of communication from the chumps that run this Godforsaken competition, but potentially good news for QPR as that would move the Royals three points and two places below us and just three north of the bottom three. They go to Bristol City in the meantime.
Coventry v Stoke is very much the kind of fixture we usually finish this round up with, but keep your eye on the Sky Blues. After a nightmare start to the season when they couldn’t play home games and didn’t win any of their first seven, they’ve steadily climbed to within three points of the play offs. They’ve done it with a league-leading 17 clean sheets too, having not recorded a single shutout until game nine. Mark Robins doing big bits again. Pleased we don’t have to play them any time soon. Oh, no, wait.
Referee: For the second time this season, the PGMOL send us Gavin Ward the game after gifting us Keith Stroud. Details — and that story about the mega-shit.
Wigan: If you’ve still got some wedge left over from your Jordan Hugill winnings a couple of weeks back then, once again, let me tell you there’s only one stat you need this weekend: Will Keane, zero goals in ten appearances for QPR on loan in 2014, has ten goals this season but hasn’t scored for 12 matches. Steven Caulker, meanwhile, back from his latest journey of self discovery, is yet to score in eight Wigan appearances, hasn’t scored in 11 outings since notching for Fatih Karagumruk against Hatayspor in the Turkish top flight in October, and has just that one goal in his last 32 games for three different clubs. Rangers have conceded nine goals this season just to people who used to play for them — Hugill (two), Jack Clarke (two), Jeff Hendrick (two, still cannot believe that), Josh Bowler, Luke Freeman and Nahki Wells (one apiece).
Wigan are currently bottom of the Championship with 31 points, eight points adrift of safety having been deducted three for once again failing to pay their wages on time. They have won just one of their last 19 games and two of their last 27. They haven’t won in eight games, but have improved marginally since Kolo Toure’s farcical reign was brought to a close at the end of January. Under Shaun Maloney they have drawn six, won one (Huddersfield H 1-0) and lost just three of their last ten games. They are unbeaten at home since Toure departed, beating Huddersfield and then drawing the last three with Coventry, Birmingham (both 1-1) and Norwich (0-0). Like us, Wigan are struggling to score goals — the last time they scored more than a single goal in a game was a 2-1 win against Blackpool on November 12 and it’s been one goal or fewer in all 19 games since. Only Cardiff (28) and Huddersfield (31) have scored fewer than their 33 goals this season and they have the joint worst defensive record in the league (along with us) with 59 conceded.
QPR: I’d quite enjoyed a week off from writing this bit. Rangers have now lost seven of their last eight. The shambolic seven goals shipped to Blackpool and Birmingham in the two games before the international break took QPR to 59 conceded — the division’s joint worst record along with our opponents here, Wigan. Only Wigan, -26, have a worse goal difference than our -21. Rangers have now conceded 18 goals from set pieces alone in 22/23, the joint worst total in the division with Swansea. The R’s are winless in eight games away from home, losing six. The surprise 1-0 win at home to Watford halted a run of no wins from 13 games, and none from nine at home (one shy of the club record), but following it up with another two losses means Rangers have now won just twice in 23 games — half a season of Championship action. That run began with a 2-0 loss at Birmingham in October, when QPR were top of the Championship having won eight and drawn one of the previous 11 games — a run that culminated in a 2-1 home win against Wigan in the corresponding fixture to keep Mick Beale’s team top of the league. Rangers have scored one goal or fewer in each of their last 11 games, have only scored two goals in a match twice in those 23 fixtures, and haven’t scored three since beating Cardiff on October 19 25 games ago. Having kept a first clean sheet in 13 games against the Hornets, just the eighth shut out all season, the following two results made it one clean sheet in 15 and the R’s have conceded 21 goals in eight outings.
Prediction: We’re once again indebted to The Art of Football for agreeing to sponsor our Prediction League and provide prizes. You can get involved by lodging your prediction here or sample the merch from our sponsor’s QPR collection here. Our joint predictions of 0-0 on Tuesday lasted 30 seconds, so for what it’s worth here’s what last year’s champion Cheesy and I think this week …
"Chair and Paal still out. Kakay out. Balogun, Willock and Laird in the squad but I'm guessing only as subs. All this means much the same as last time which doesn't fill me with much confidence. I can't see when we will start to get out of this mess. The Wigan game is our best bet for three points from our remaining games meaning, in my view, it’s a must win. Have we got the players, confidence and passion to get the three points? I'm not hopeful.”
Cheesy’s Prediction: Wigan 2-0 QPR. No scorer.
LFW’s Prediction: Wigan 1-0 QPR. Scorer — Will Keane
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