QPR start a run of away fixtures against the bottom half of the Premier League with a trip to Burnley on Saturday, hunting their first points away from Loftus Road all season.
Why this feeling of dread?
QPR have turned for home, and shifted a hectic Christmas schedule from the books, in exactly the position they wanted to be and aimed for at the start of the season. Rangers are sixteenth, with 19 points. Take another 19 points — five wins and four draws is how they've done it to this point — in the second half of the season and they stand an excellent chance of being sixteenth come May as well. Take 22 and they'll certainly be safe. Pre-Hull City in August if I'd offered you that, you'd have seized it, with two hands, and laughed manically, and charged off down the road holding it aloft declaring you had the keys to the magic kingdom, before no doubt being moved on by the Metropolitan Police.
The situation is, naturally, more complicated than that. Two of the four teams below Rangers in the table have changed manager, including West Brom who have appointed survival specialist Tony Pulis — never relegated in his career, and tracksuited mastermind of Crystal Palace's great escape last season. Palace, for their part, have Pards Pardew and his Bunga Bunga Bar tab, but know they have the quality and experience to climb above the dotted line. Both will spend money this month while Rangers are looking solely at loan deals.
The 19 points accrued so far have, you may have read, been won entirely at Loftus Road. Away from the Bush it's played ten, lost ten in all competitions for the travel-sick Super Hoops, and there have been few signs the team or management have any idea how to halt that run. Harry Redknapp himself has admitted, several times, that he's "tried everything" away from home — which suggests it's not going to get a good deal better any time soon.
That's perceived as a big problem because while QPR can point to having to play the top ten — give or take — in the league away from home to start with, by the sheer devilish nature of fixture lists that means the home matches are about to become exponentially harder for the rest of the season. In theory, a way must be found to beat the likes of Leicester, Villa, West Brom, Burnley and Sunderland on the road, just as they were in W12, or it's double wank and shit chips.
But then again, do Newcastle, Everton, Tottenham and Arsenal really look that intimidating, given how they've played this season on their own travels, given how QPR approached the Man City and Liverpool games? Do Chelsea, for that matter, following Rangers' near miss at Stamford Bridge and the way previous home games with the Blues have played out? No need for a white flag up that pole at the home of football just yet.
Harry Redknapp says this Saturday's trip to Burnley is one he's looking forward to, and given his oft-stated philosophy this season it's very easy to see why. Time and time and time and time again Redknapp - when defending the complete lack of effort, interest and fight he and his team have shown in away games against superior teams — has told us that football isn't about tactics, or systems. Football is about football players. If you have the best football players, you win the football match. Chelsea have the best football players, so they'll win the league.
That's quite annoying usually, but this weekend it's great news.
Since arriving at Loftus Road more than two years ago, Harry Redknapp has — during four transfer windows — signed 21 players for QPR at a cost of £58m not including the undisclosed fee for Reading keeper Alex McCarthy. He's let plenty go as well — 25 for a recouped amount of £21.5m. But still, that's a net spent of £36.5m on transfer fees alone, and 21 additions of Redknapp's choosing into the club. As a result, at Turf Moor on Saturday, Rangers have two full Chilean internationals with 96 caps between them, a Dutch international with 11 caps, an England international centre half with 81 caps, another up and coming England centre half who has already made his senior debut, a Republic of Ireland veteran with 80 caps to his name, a former England goalkeeper with 12 caps and a possible future England striker in Charlie Austin.
Burnley, for their part, have spent £4.5m on 19 players in the same period. A full £3m of that went on George Boyd, their record signing, who couldn't get a start for Hull City last season. There are clutches of Northern Ireland and Scotland caps among this entirely British-born squad, but that's it. They are currently second bottom of the Premier League, with only four wins to their name, and just seven goals scored at home all year. They've been praised for their high work rate, incredible spirit, drive and determination. Manager Sean Dyche has been held up as a miracle worker, both tactically and motivationally. He talks about relentless pursuit of improvement, and insists on his team being the fittest in the league — he's fielded the same starting 11 for the last six matches during the frantic Christmas period and seen them come from behind on four separate occasions to win points at Manchester City and Newcastle.
But this doesn't matter does it? Because all this spirit, togetherness, tactics, systems and stuff doesn't win you football matches does it? Football players win football matches. Harry Redknapp has had two years and £60m to acquire football players for Queens Park Rangers. They should piss this shouldn't they Harry? Harry?
And yet…
With a weather forecast that looks like it's come from the Old Testament rather than the meteorological office, and Burnley not only in determined, never say die, form, but also potentially welcoming back Sam Vokes alongside Danny Ings, does this really look like an away win? Has anything we've seen from QPR this season suggested it will be?
If you're looking for reasons of hope, don't turn to Harry Redknapp's pre-match press conference. Clearly annoyed that the club's horrific financial position — which he has been complicit in and contributed to — means the car window can only be wound down for loans, it's a 13 minute moan about life. "Loans are a gamble, nobody is going to loan you a player with nothing wrong with him," he says, as opposed to all those perfect, injury-free, low-earning, low maintenance Jermaine Defoe's you can pick up on a permanent deal at this time of year of course. You could ask why, after all this time, all that money, and all those transfers, we're still "short on quality" and in need of yet more additions. But then the training ground is waterlogged and we can't train. Sandro is still injured. Danny Ings is fantastic. Sean Dyche is fantastic. Burnley have the home advantage. It's a real tub-thumping rallying cry.
Redknapp, so stirred and angry to find that even his media chums were starting to tip him for the sack after the West Ham match and before the vast improvements we saw in the Liverpool game and beyond, is now back in sullen, bored mode.
"We've got the best out of the players, you can't get any more out of them," he said.
It feels like a big moment this one. Not because Burnley will move above QPR if they win, nor because anything is decided in January — it's not — but, bizarrely, because of the position of the tunnel at Turf Moor.
QPR actually had a very good December. They secured three home wins and two draws from five home matches, including a difficult game against Swansea. They were close at Arsenal, despite the poor performance. It's a difficult time of the year with so many fixtures, and QPR often struggle even when they have an excellent team during the festive period — they lost five times in the 2010/11 march to the Championship title and three of those losses came in the last two weeks of December and New Year's Day. An embarrassing FA Cup defeat, likewise, is no barometer of how the rest of the season will go - the Vauxhall Motors shaming preceded a trip to a play-off final.
But the first hour at the Emirates, the sheer boredom of the Palace game, the last minute equaliser by Swansea and the cup debacle against Sheffield United have drained away a positive vibe and feeling that had built after the West Brom win — or, at least, that's how it feels. If we'd ripped into Arsenal and lost 2-1, found the Palace keeper in inspired form and drawn 0-0, equalised ourselves in the final minute against Swansea, the results would be the same and the mood entirely different. Win at Turf Moor, and just shy of 2,000 QPR fans behind the goal will be in tremendous voice at the end, hailing their players and manager and drinking all the way back down the West Coast mainline.
But lose here and perform poorly, and it's a long old walk across that pitch from those dugouts to that tunnel in front of that away end for the losing manager and his players.
A big moment indeed. And that feeling of dread about it persists.
Links >>> Rowan Vine from the halfway line — history >>> Take two — podcast >>> Under fire Marriner — referee >>> Making the impossible possible — opposition focus >>> Dyche's limitless approach — interview >>> Little Boy Vargas and other tall tales - presser
QPR striker Rowan Vine sets off towards the vacant Burnley goal some 80 yards downfield, with home goalkeeper Gabor Kiraly in hot pursuit, during a meeting on this ground back in 2007. The R's, leading 1-0, survived a late onslaught from Owen Coyle's side without conceding an equaliser, then Vine ran the length of the pitch from a botched corner in injury time to register a memorable, game-clinching second.
Despite a hectic Christmas schedule, Burnley have kept the same starting 11 for their last six matches and are likely to do so for a seventh game here. Jason Shackell is injured and Dean Marney is unwell making them doubts, while Sam Vokes rose from the bench to score against Spurs in the cup on Monday night and stands a chance of making his first league start since a nasty knee injury nine months ago.
Elsewhere: Wet wipes and moist towels at the ready, the emotional Stevie G farewell tour rolls into Sunderland this weekend as the Men of Liverpool together united as one collective bargaining unit of united unity begin the no-doubt long, drawn-out, tedious, laborious, sycophantic, grossly over the top process of bidding farewell to the man who cost them the league title last season. It's on Sky, as will every Liverpool game be from now until the moment Gerrard packs his bags for LA before returning on a sort of dodgy loan/permanent transfer through the back door at Manchester City.
City (see how we link) are at leaky Everton this weekend with present MLS All Star Cousin Frank still among their ranks.
Pards Pardew is up to his old tricks down in South London already. Crystal Palace laid a brand new pitch on Thursday and it's done nothing but piss with rain since. Imagine how well that's going to go, then see for yourself on Saturday night as Tottenham travel south of the river for an evening kick off.
For QPR, it's one of those weekends where everybody is playing everybody else. Aston Villa go to see Interesting Nige and his Leicester City juggernaut, while Tigers Tigers Rah Rah Rah are getting Tony Pulis off to a winning start at West Brom. For everybody else, it's one of those weekends where Louis Van Gaal is playing Southampton, so little else matters.
There are some other bits and pieces though. Swansea v Big Fat Sam's Big Fat Brand of Entertaining Football on Saturday along with Big Racist John and the Boys at home to Newcastle. Arsenal, abject and disinterested at Stoke a month ago, will no doubt go into full on bully mode against Meticulous Mark and the Taffia this weekend on their own, somewhat flatter, track.
When they strap me to the chair please let them know the murders were just.
Referee: In a week when former referees chief and top flight official Keith Hackett called for him to be removed from the list at the end of the season, Andre Marriner is in the middle at Turf Moor. Hackett also said Lee Probert, Chris Foy, Lee Mason and the hapless Mike Jones should be given the elbow and we've news of their whereabouts this weekend, as well as Marriner's QPR history and recent stats, at the following link.
QPR: Yes, yes, add one to everything we said last time. QPR have now lost all nine of their away games in the league this season equalling the Premier League record, and have been beaten ten times on the road this year in all competitions. Charlie Austin's penalty at Arsenal was only the fourth goal QPR have scored away from Loftus Road all season (Austin has three of those) while 22 have been conceded, 23 if you include the League Cup loss at Burton Albion. The next record QPR have in their sights belongs to Saturday's opponents — Burnley lost 17 of 19 away games in their last Premier League campaign, taking a record low total of four points on their travels. Rangers have won only one of their last ten games on this ground going back 35 years.
Prediction: Reigning Prediction League champion WestonSuperR is in pessimistic mood…
"This is the weekend we could become record breakers. Bolton I believe hold the Premier League record of nine successive away defeats in the Premier League from the start of the season and now is our chance to beat that. Sadly I don’t see a many reasons as to why we won’t.
"We started our away campaign with a desperately poor display against Spurs and although on paper the result in our most recent road game versus Arsenal showed an improvement the reality was we haven’t really improved much at all.
"I rate Sean Dyche and he will have his team well drilled and up for this game. Will our lot show the necessary heart and desire required to get a result against a team that if we compared the two sets 11 players they should do? I doubt it.
"One of the better, or at least less dreadful matches on the road, was against Everton and I wonder if we should try something similar, Vargas and maybe Zarate making up the wide-men/front-men and playing a sort of 4-5-1 or 4-3-3. At this stage though and having just watched the highlights (lowlights would be a better term) of our match with Sheff United I can only predict a win for a Burnley team has shown massive heart, desire and effort in two very tricky matches at Man City and Newcastle. Not only will I predict a home win but I also think it will be quite comfortable."
John's Prediction: Burnley 2-0 QPR. No scorer.
LFW's Prediction: Burnley 2-0 QPR. No scorer.
The Twitter @loftforwords
Pictures — Action Images