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Reply | Tigers at Layer Road
at 12:38 27 Dec 2024
YULETIDE PREMIERSHIP
GHOSTS OF CHRISTMAS PAST 23 ( Sprouts )
REINDEER WANDERER'S. 21
INFLATABLE POLAR BEARS. 17
GHOSTS OF CHRISTMAS FUTURE 15
NORTHERN SNOWMEN. 14
TOTAL OVEN SOLUTIONS. 13
MOOSE & ELK RANGERS. 11
GOOSE & PARTRIDGE RANGERS. 10
MOOSE & ELK ROVERS. 9
PIGS IN BLANKETS. 7
DORKING PARSNIPS. 6
MINCE PIE TOWN. 5
AFC STUFFED CAMELS 1924. 5
COTSWOLD SNOWFLAKES. 4
CHILTON SPROUTS. 4
AFC ROAST POTATOES 1949. 2
AFC TURNIP TOWN. 2
MIGRAINE LIGHTING 1
SLEDGE CITY. 1
STARMER LEGO HEADS. 0
NB. PLASTIC ANGELS and FAKE TAN TINSEL ANGELS have withdrawn from The YULETIDE PREMIERSHIP due to cosmetic surgery appointments.
We hope to see them return next Yuletide. [Post edited 27 Dec 12:54]
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Reply | Tigers at Layer Road
at 11:36 27 Dec 2024
TRANSFER WINDOW LATEST
DORKING PARSNIPS have signed Sibiricus - Xanthopygus from MOOSE & ELK ROVERS for Four acres of land at undisclosed location together with 800 crates of prize parsnips.
MOOSE & ELK RANGERS have signed Kansuensis Alashanicus from Manchester City on a Free transfer. [Post edited 27 Dec 11:41]
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Reply | Tigers at Layer Road
at 10:47 27 Dec 2024
YULETIDE LEAGUE - TRANSFER WINDOW
A reminder to followers that the transfer window opened at midnight on Boxing Day and closes at 11pm on New Year's Eve.
We will bring you the transactions as they happen.
MOOSE & ELK RANGERS have signed Yakutia Chukotka from REINDEER WANDERER'S on loan until the end of the season.
MINCE PIE TOWN have signed Attic Cobweb - Green Eyed Lurker from GHOSTS OF CHRISTMAS PAST for 460 boxes ( each box contains 12 ) of their top quality product with a further 200 boxes subject to appearance clauses.
INFLATABLE POLAR BEARS have signed Matt Jay from Colchester United on a free transfer.
PLASTIC ANGELS have signed Tinsel - Foot - Eyelash from AFC STUFFED CAMELS 1924 - Undisclosed. |
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Reply | Tigers at Layer Road
at 22:07 26 Dec 2024
BREAKING NEWS
A 39 year old man dressed as a giant currant has been arrested in Cheltenham tonight and charged with possession and intent to supply a Class A substance.
It is believed he was attempting to put a bucket of magic mushrooms into the away changing room at The Cardboard Box Stadium an hour before the kick off of today's match between Mince Pie Town and Reindeer Wanderer's.
Last season the Wanderer's goalkeeper Tarandu Svalbard failed a drugs test after being removed from the pitch against the Inflatable Polar Bears when he sunk to his knees pre match and rolled around in the penalty area holding up the kick off by 15 minutes.
The Wanderer's Head Coach Boreal Woodland had used sign language to suggest that Svalbard had been spiked and a season's ban was lifted on the Reindeer's keeper.
Meanwhile, Wanderer's have signed Clover Hooves Granti Articus after the out of contract Reindeer impressed in training during a recent trial. |
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Reply | Tigers at Layer Road
at 14:27 26 Dec 2024
MATCH RESULT
MINCE PIE TOWN 1
Fructose 26
Cinnamon - Nutmeg ( Sent off 72 )
REINDEER WANDERERS 4
Platythynchus 8, 22, Articus 68 ( pen ), Prancer 80.
Attendance 1,926
Away hillside 387 |
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Reply | Tigers at Layer Road
at 09:29 26 Dec 2024
MINCE PIE TOWN
V REINDEER WANDERERS
BOXING DAY 12.30 GMT
The Barcodes will be hosting Reindeer Wanderers for today's lunchtime kick off at the Cardboard Box Stadium.
Midfield holding player Kamchatkan is a doubt for the visitors with a swollen hoof.
Prancer and Dasher are the threats up front for Wanderers and will be keen to add to their impressive goal talley ( 9 and 7 goals respectively ).
Town have injury concerns of their own with K. Sultana suffering a freak injury on the training ground and may have to be content with a place on the bench.
Cornflower and Lemon - Peel - Citric are available for Town after serving three match suspensions.
With the transfer window approaching there will be considerable interest in Wanderers central defender Terandus Fennicus who has been outstanding again for the Reindeer this season.
With several hundred Wanderers fans seen galloping towards the Cardboard Box Stadium overnight a good Bank Holiday crowd is expected. |
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Reply | Tigers at Layer Road
at 19:43 25 Dec 2024
MATCH RESULT AND REPORT
INFLATABLE POLAR BEARS 0
GHOSTS OF CHRISTMAS FUTURE 1
The Ghosts snatched a late victory at Holly Bush Park with a scrambled effort in the second minute of injury time after a pulsating match that had the crowd enthralled throughout.
Despite dominating the first half the INFLATABLES were unable to make their superiority count.
Big White went close for the home side with a glancing header that skimmed the post on twenty minutes, moments later he forced a save from the Ghost's keeper with a snap shot from the edge of the box.
Little was seen from the Ghost attack in the opening half but they bought on Midnight Ghost after the break and he was soon causing problems for the INFLATABLES defenders.
It was a late effort from 2am Ghost that secured the sprouts for the visitors and had the away following flying in circles 500 feet above the pitch.
INFLATABLES Head Coach Long Tail - White said he was proud of his team who were really pumped up for the encounter and gave everything he could have asked.
Attendance 1,674
Away following 452 |
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Reply | Tigers at Layer Road
at 12:07 25 Dec 2024
PITCH INSPECTION AT HOLLY BUSH PARK
POLAR BEAR INFLATABLES
V GHOSTS OF CHRISTMAS FUTURE
Kick Off 14.30 GMT
Ground staff are currently clearing Christmas puddings from the goalmouth at the Pentland Hills end and several large dollops of cream in the centre circle.
There is also work required to secure the fencing along the Moorfoot Hills perimeter after yesterday's Bison stampede at the final whistle.
For anyone unable to attend today's match there will be live commentary on POLAR radio and edited highlights on INFLATABLE TV this evening at 10pm.
UPDATE - Match goes ahead but kick off put back to 15.00 GMT.
A large festive crowd is expected for today's top of the table clash with the Ghosts bringing a large following who are travelling to the match on clouds. |
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Reply | Tigers at Layer Road
at 21:16 24 Dec 2024
GOAL ALERT
PIGS IN BLANKETS 1
GHOSTS OF CHRISTMAS PAST 0
Scorer to be confirmed - subject to VAR
UPDATE
Goal stands - Hog 3 |
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Reply | Tigers at Layer Road
at 15:43 24 Dec 2024
MATCH RESULT
MOOSE & ELK ROVERS 3
STARMER LEGO HEADS 0
More misery for the Lego Heads as they slumped to their 5th consecutive defeat at the hooves of the rampant Moose and Elk side who were two nil ahead inside the first twenty minutes with White Tail firing in from 35 legs on nine minutes and tapping home a rebound on 18 minutes to put the Rovers in total command.
The Lego Heads made five changes at half time but were unable break down the Rovers rearguard and suffered a further set back with their supremo K. Lego heading past his own goalkeeper on 84 minutes.
Attendance
988 ( including 33 flying geese )
Match highlights Moose & Elk official TV channel. [Post edited 24 Dec 15:46]
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Reply | Tigers at Layer Road
at 12:13 24 Dec 2024
GOAL ALERT
CROMDALE BISON HERD 1 BIg Foot 77
FC SCROOGE 0
Dickens missed a Penalty Notice after 53 minutes for FC SCROOGE
Twenty three subs on at half time for CROMDALE BISON HERD |
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Reply | Tigers at Layer Road
at 08:00 24 Dec 2024
GOAL ALERT
AFC TURNIP TOWN 1
POLAR BEAR INFLATABLES 3 ( WHITE 66 ) |
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Reply | Tigers at Layer Road
at 02:31 24 Dec 2024
GOAL ALERT
NORTHERN SNOWMEN 1 ( Carrot 36 )
TOTAL OVEN SOLUTIONS 0
REINDEER WANDERERS 2 ( Antler 41 )
MINCE PIE TOWN 0
ROAST POTATOES 0
DORKING PARSNIPS 1 ( Long 39 )
PLASTIC FAIRIES 0
CHILTON SPROUTS 2 ( Green 40 )
SLEDGE CITY 0
GOOSE & PARTRIDGE RANGERS 0
Abandoned 38
COTSWOLD SNOWFLAKES 0
MIGRAINE LIGHTING 2 ( Flash - En - Freak 42 ) |
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Reply | Tigers at Layer Road
at 18:24 19 Dec 2024
Urban Werewolf draft continued.
Contains dark imagery and scenes.
From seamstress
To waitress
Princess and mistress
I've seen the sights
Now Goddess
Your word not mine
Of my time you said
From a life of duress
I dress to impress
For that l am blessed
I am cast as
URBAN WEREWOLF
In this punk opera
Starring in an alleyway
Near you anytime soon
You may have seen me
On an up escalator
On a railway station
Concourse
Or going down
Behind the scenes
My allure
Has them entranced
Male
Female
Inbetweeners
They ask me to dance
On entering my airspace
Or headspace
They are blown away
By my grace
Your words not mine
You have made me
What l have become
A Timothy Leary
Experiment
Running through these
Shadow veins
Don't ask me to explain
Dressed as
URBAN WEREWOLF
I release a SHRIEK
In the night
Such is my plight
Something ignites
From the inner most
Depths of my being
I am neuronaut
Harvard psilocybin
Project Number
Two Six Six
Diethylamide
Trans humanisation
Voices in my head
Create this footprint
Through crop circles
Past satanic messages
Etched in frosted windscreens
Into the Church of Albion
To destroy the vermin
That lurks behind
The Cross
Am l responsible
For my murderous actions?
Now that is the question
Being the subject
Of mind control
Should exonerate me
They call it
Diminished responsibility
But l still get
THE THRILL of THE KILL
[Post edited 19 Dec 18:51]
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Reply | Tigers at Layer Road
at 20:53 18 Dec 2024
We used to engage in a technique called 'Eye Scan' in the advertising industry.
Example. Someone would sit at a flat table or desk and be presented with a tabloid newspaper.
We would then have a film camera set up in front of them to monitor where the eye was led to regarding headlines, pictures, text and advertising as they turned the pages.
This technique resulted in Page 3 being on the right of a DPS ( double page spread ) as a key target eye scan area for glam models to be placed.
I suppose one could argue that the eye would find them on the base of the left hand page but l don't recall us discussing that.
Sounds quite simple, and this was where we were at in the early eighties.
There would be a varied audience for this practice and they were paid similar rates to those who took place in some market research programmes.
History now.
Today we monitored facial expression on two students reading the first two sections of 'Urban Werewolf'. They looked perplexed.
Thought they might. |
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Reply | Tigers at Layer Road
at 20:32 18 Dec 2024
I have had an AI lyrics to music induction.
It's quite a trip. It is moving forward as a fast pace.
What occured to me is that you can make AI demo's from the melody patterns that are contained in the structure of the lines, words and syllables.
Lyrics don't usually have much value on their own but AI may change this.
We did a short piece with a female vocalist in English and the verses in French. Even the first two attempts sounded ok.
You can select tempo, instruments, mood etc.
TV and radio jingles are simple - and quite catchy.
🙂🙂 |
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Reply | Tigers at Layer Road
at 12:34 17 Dec 2024
'PORNSTAR'
( Taken from The Pornstar and the Priest - 2001 UK and Australian release ).
She's the
Kursaal flyer
On the
High tides
The X- Rated
Pornstar
In the classifieds
She's a
Toxic cocktail
Now on release
A phone call
Away from
The Catholic Priest
She's the
Warning sign
Near chemical waste
A night
On a payphone
At premium rates
She's ten
Different names
On ten
Different cards
She's the
Danger that breeds
In every schoolyard
She's the face
That you see
In the heat
Of the night
She's the shape
On the screen
As you turn
Out the light
Bring on beauty
Long live the beast |
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Reply | Tigers at Layer Road
at 19:01 16 Dec 2024
'URBAN WEREWOLF'
Draft continued -
Peter sat
Atop a rainbow
Looked below
Through traffic flow
Eyed Professor RO
At the side of the road
Peter stepped
Onto a blood painted cloud
Shouted out aloud
'B A L A C H A D H A'
The Professor looked up
Waved an empty coffee cup
Meanwhile
Over in Whitechapel
A Dirty Blonde
Was hanging out
By the Cash Machine
Looking mean
She's gone all goth
Blackened eyes
Wears a cross
Has cut the cloth
To the contours of
Her slinky slunky body
Cheeky monkey
Orders takeaway
Grabs the bag
And runs away
Round a corner
Down Brick Lane
Runs in to Robin Gunningham
But she don't know it's him
( She thought it was Banksy! )
But what
She does know
Is that some
Senior members
Of the Church
Are xxxxxxx SCUM
Dirty filthy xxxxxxxx
With 'A' levels
In child SEX ABUSE [Post edited 16 Dec 19:08]
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Reply | Tigers at Layer Road
at 13:57 16 Dec 2024
'STEP BACK INTO IT'
Taken from 'Ipswich Zero 6'
Your glittering career
It started here
Across this table
All those months ago
Your eyes
Much brighter then
And I've kept
The Golden Virginia
Hand rolling tobacco paper
That you left
On the sofa
All this time
I wonder why?
Some keepsake
Before l let you loose
With your
Performing Arts Degree
To step back into it
With all the mainliners
Tonight
Asking you all this
In our Q&A session
Relayed straight
Into an FM radio station
'TELL ME HOW
THEY GET THE STUFF
INTO PRISONS'
'EXPLAIN HOW
ALL THIS HAS
AFFECTED YOUR
MENSTRUAL CYCLE'
'ARE YOU
PERSONALLY AWARE
OF THE NUMBNESS?'
The radio station
Are paying £400 for this
And like our
Initial deal back in March
You will get fifty per cent
Before you step back into it
Only this time
You're gonna have
To keep on walking
'Cause I've taken this thing
As far as l can now
And do l blame myself
For your rapid demise?
I suppose the answer
Is 'Yes'
Even though
You answered
The small ad |
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Reply | Tigers at Layer Road
at 18:03 15 Dec 2024
Continuing with the Urban Werewolf draft
Urban werewolf
By the power generator
Sends a howl
Across the highway
Traffic lights turn to blue
The ghost of Ginsberg
Hovering above
Eddington Tower
Peter Orlorsky
And the Chickenhawks
Sun burned pages
From sixties
Counter culture papers
Fluttering down
Werewolf turns
Takes the shadowy path
Past the Esso garage
Enshrouded in moonlight
But all is not well
At the farm
Burning cars
On a painted horizon
I'm turning in this bed
Can't sleep
So l can't dream
And dreams
Are protein
Substance
The only route
To the everclear
Feel you near
Through snow
Blizzard ice
Relentless
In the tumult
Punch drunk
By flash floods
Of imagery
Played out
On twenty four hour
News channels
Famine
Tempest
Disease
The urban werewolf
Screams
Turns
Runs
Ever
Faster |
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