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You Are FIFA 19:18 - Sep 4 with 9798 viewsBrianMcCarthy

You can introduce one Law.

I mentioned Sinclair Armstrong's ridiculously long goal celebrations just now on the Player and Goal of the Month fred.

So, I'll start with that.

Law 18 - In the event of a goal being scored, and in the event of any ensuing goal celebration, the Match Referee shall have total discretion as to which goalscorer is taking the piss and/or is acting the maggot and/or is acting like some gom off a computer game and (s)he shall have the discretion and the power to disallow the goal and/or show a yellow card and/or (if the player is Sinclair Armstrong, Tallaghfornia, South Dublin and it's a night game and there are kids that need to get home to bed before it's time to get up) show a red card and/or slap the goal celebrant(s) with a large haddock.


"The opposite of love, after all, is not hate, but indifference."
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You Are FIFA on 19:22 - Sep 4 with 6312 viewsenfieldargh

10 second rule for taking a goalkick. First infraction verbal warning.

2nd Infraction yellow card.

If an outfield player delays over 10 seconds in taking said goalkick he and the goal keeper both get a yellow card

captains fantastic
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You Are FIFA on 19:28 - Sep 4 with 6279 viewsBrianMcCarthy

You Are FIFA on 19:22 - Sep 4 by enfieldargh

10 second rule for taking a goalkick. First infraction verbal warning.

2nd Infraction yellow card.

If an outfield player delays over 10 seconds in taking said goalkick he and the goal keeper both get a yellow card


Love it, Enfield.

And we're off. We'll have this game spruced up in no time.

"The opposite of love, after all, is not hate, but indifference."
Poll: Player of the Year (so far)

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You Are FIFA on 19:28 - Sep 4 with 6273 viewsLanhoop

You Are FIFA on 19:22 - Sep 4 by enfieldargh

10 second rule for taking a goalkick. First infraction verbal warning.

2nd Infraction yellow card.

If an outfield player delays over 10 seconds in taking said goalkick he and the goal keeper both get a yellow card


Addendum: Possession is also handed over to the opposition to restart the game with a throw-in taken level with the point of the infringement.
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You Are FIFA on 19:32 - Sep 4 with 6253 viewskensalriser

Lengthy goal celebrations could easily be solved by obliging all players to be back in their own half for the restart within a given number of seconds on pain of a yellow card.

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You Are FIFA on 19:32 - Sep 4 with 6253 viewsColesIndyRs

If a player dives with intent to gain a significant advantage they may be given a dead leg by a nominated member of the opposition instead of a yellow or red card.
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You Are FIFA on 19:32 - Sep 4 with 6250 viewsMick_S

If a throw-in isn’t taken where the ball went out, it goes to the opposition.

Did I ever mention that I was in Minder?

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You Are FIFA on 19:41 - Sep 4 with 6190 viewsPlanetHonneywood

As in rugby, players 'injured' are treated on the pitch, and the game continues around them. Once treated, they exit the pitch, and can only return when there is a break in the play.

Would go along way to stop feigning injury, and wasting time.

Diving can be cautioned during the match and if missed, retrospectively.

'Always In Motion' by John Honney available on amazon.co.uk
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You Are FIFA on 19:47 - Sep 4 with 6168 viewsMatch82

You Are FIFA on 19:32 - Sep 4 by kensalriser

Lengthy goal celebrations could easily be solved by obliging all players to be back in their own half for the restart within a given number of seconds on pain of a yellow card.


Or even more easily solved by saying kickoff will take place 30 seconds after the goal is awarded. If you're not back in your own half to defend then you do so at your own risk.
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You Are FIFA on 19:53 - Sep 4 with 6152 viewsGaryBannister86

Any deliberate foul is a straight red. Eradicate tactical fouling and "took one for the team" rubbish immediately.
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You Are FIFA on 20:04 - Sep 4 with 6078 viewsflynnbo

Outlaw the draught excluder. Outfield players should attempt to remain upright at all times during play unless involved in making a legitimate tackle.
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You Are FIFA on 20:15 - Sep 4 with 6050 viewsJuzzie

Hairbands, snoods and holes in socks is a 1 goal head start to the opposition per offence.
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You Are FIFA on 20:23 - Sep 4 with 5987 viewsJuzzie

Oh, hang on…. the thread title is “You are FIFA”……

In that case it’s ‘award’ Euro, Concacaf, World Cup etc tournaments to whoever can provide the most stuffed full envelope, play said tournament in completely obscure months of the year, ‘award’ sponsorship to the worst companies possible who will also be able to provide further more stuffed envelopes, change the game rules in ever more absurd manners staring with 4 quarters of 25 minutes, ban pesky small clubs in national leagues….. they just get in the way with their pesky moaning about wanting fair play and trickle-down payments, as if. Put all sorts of well meaning rules in place that look like it’s for the good of the game but utterly ignore everything when those rules are broken. And so on……
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You Are FIFA on 21:01 - Sep 4 with 5885 viewsE17hoop

Yellow card 5 minute sin bin, tied in with the timewasting keeper shit above.

It's always noisiest at the shallow end
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You Are FIFA on 21:14 - Sep 4 with 5815 viewsSpaceman_P

on the side of fairness... accidental hand-balls SHOULD not be considered at all.... if someone boots the ball at your hand as you bloke your balls from the impact, that's accidental I'd say.

in VAR if it's discovered a mistake was made with VAR, said official should have a 2 match ban and a fine!
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You Are FIFA on 21:35 - Sep 4 with 5755 viewsDWQPR

Reintroduce the rule that goal kicks must be taken from the side of the six yard box from where the ball went out.

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You Are FIFA on 21:39 - Sep 4 with 5741 viewsSpaceman_P

a full extra-time and penalties

replay's - but not in a final.

FA CUP like it used to be 30+ years ago.... make it a special thing again, with the TV interviews and build-up.
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You Are FIFA on 21:42 - Sep 4 with 5720 viewsLblock

Law 15 "A throw-in is awarded to the opponents of the player who last touched the ball when the whole of the ball passes over the touchline, on the ground or in the air."

Amendment 15.01 inter alia "All teams awarded said throw in shall approach them in the manner of Queens park Rangers Football Club and [a] give ball straight back to opposing team and/or not defend short throws and allow thrower to receive the ball back unchallenged"
[Post edited 4 Sep 21:59]

Cherish and enjoy life.... this ain't no dress rehearsal

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You Are FIFA on 21:46 - Sep 4 with 5681 viewsHantsR

No tactical, time- wasting substitutions in last 5 minutes and extra time?
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You Are FIFA on 21:48 - Sep 4 with 5663 viewsbosh67

If one side spends 75% of the game with less than 5 touches in the opposing area that real estate can be used by the other team for other commercial ventures, such as wedding and receptions for the remaining 25% of the game.

Never knowingly right.
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You Are FIFA on 21:55 - Sep 4 with 5643 viewsFDC

Once per game a klaxon will sound indicating that all 10 outfield players on the team not in possession of the ball must immediately run in a straight line directly towards the ball. If that team then wins possession of the ball, the phase is reversed and all outfield players on the other team must run directly towards the ball. This continues until the klaxon sounds again, at which time players on the both teams are permitted to return to formation.
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You Are FIFA on 22:00 - Sep 4 with 5576 viewsMrSheen

You Are FIFA on 19:32 - Sep 4 by kensalriser

Lengthy goal celebrations could easily be solved by obliging all players to be back in their own half for the restart within a given number of seconds on pain of a yellow card.


Why not, when a goal is awarded, the side conceding will restart play from the centre spot after 30 seconds. Any player not in position in their half must leave the pitch and rejoin it at the next break in play.

Throw ins must be taken from a static position, but may be taken with one or both hands in any manner.
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You Are FIFA on 22:05 - Sep 4 with 5511 viewsAntti_Heinola

Any fan wishing to kill joy in games by limiting what is and isn't a legitimate celebration in their opinion can be ejected from the ground and banned from football forever.

Otherwise, I agree with Bannister.

Bare bones.

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You Are FIFA on 22:06 - Sep 4 with 5496 viewsMatch82

You Are FIFA on 22:00 - Sep 4 by MrSheen

Why not, when a goal is awarded, the side conceding will restart play from the centre spot after 30 seconds. Any player not in position in their half must leave the pitch and rejoin it at the next break in play.

Throw ins must be taken from a static position, but may be taken with one or both hands in any manner.


Great minds
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You Are FIFA on 22:07 - Sep 4 with 5492 viewsGaryHaddock

Large haddock you say?
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You Are FIFA on 22:09 - Sep 4 with 5479 viewsBlackCrowe

As in rugby, you complain about a decision you go back 10 yards.

Poll: Kitchen threads or polls?

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