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They’re back. Did you know it takes between 15 minutes to an hour to build a web. Impressive. Sometimes they eat their webs and make new one overnight or in the morning.
A mate of mine did the 'Spider Friendly' course thing at London Zoo and it got him over his arachnophobia. Held a tarantula.
I'm pretty far from being able to deal with that nonsense.
It annoys me though. Like I know it's stupid and that spiders are fk all but I've got ten of thousands of years of instinctive programming telling me that they're scarier than Mike Tyson.
Stefan Moore, Stefan Moore running down the wing. Stefan Moore, Stefan Moore running down the wing. He runs like a cheetah, his crosses couldn't be sweeter. Stefan Moore. Stefan Moore. Stefan Moore.
Previously, I have waffled on about invasive species and in particular, the box tree moth. It's an invasive species, from Asia, and has become established in south east England. Its caterpillars nuked my little box bush and the same fate has befallen my neighbour's hedge. I was in Homebase earlier today - the heady life I lead - and a lot of their potted box bushes were showing signs of the infestation too: foliage biscuit brown, lifeless looking and devoid of greenery. The moth, by the wave, is stunning, a day flying one, quite large, all white except for a black band round the edge of its wings.
Anyway, I mention this again here because I am not long back from a holiday in France, as part of which I spent a week in the Cevennes, in the centre of the country. We arrived just after a period of very dry weather and 40 degree heat, so I wasn't surprised that the countryside - high altitude heathland - looked brown and desiccated.
Then it hit me: The main issue was that a lot of the native vegetation was actually box. I had always thought of it as primarily a garden plant but here on the Cevennes, it was everywhere. *Dead* everywhere. Heartbreaking
"Things had started becoming increasingly desperate at Loftus Road but QPR have been handed a massive lifeline and the place has absolutely erupted. it's carnage. It's bedlam. It's 1-1."
The c**ts are everywhere here and some of them are a bit dangerous. Redbacks are pretty common (found one in our bed once 😲) but have yet to see a funnel web and long may that continue.
One of the less dangerous types has a habit of building webs between plants and across paths in the evening in summer just so you cop the sticky crap in your face when taking the dogs out for a walk 🤬
Previously, I have waffled on about invasive species and in particular, the box tree moth. It's an invasive species, from Asia, and has become established in south east England. Its caterpillars nuked my little box bush and the same fate has befallen my neighbour's hedge. I was in Homebase earlier today - the heady life I lead - and a lot of their potted box bushes were showing signs of the infestation too: foliage biscuit brown, lifeless looking and devoid of greenery. The moth, by the wave, is stunning, a day flying one, quite large, all white except for a black band round the edge of its wings.
Anyway, I mention this again here because I am not long back from a holiday in France, as part of which I spent a week in the Cevennes, in the centre of the country. We arrived just after a period of very dry weather and 40 degree heat, so I wasn't surprised that the countryside - high altitude heathland - looked brown and desiccated.
Then it hit me: The main issue was that a lot of the native vegetation was actually box. I had always thought of it as primarily a garden plant but here on the Cevennes, it was everywhere. *Dead* everywhere. Heartbreaking
I had one of these in the lounge a couple of weeks ago. Used an insect i.d. app to identify it. Next morning it had gone. Windows and doors closed. I suspect the spiders.🕷️🕷️🕷️
The c**ts are everywhere here and some of them are a bit dangerous. Redbacks are pretty common (found one in our bed once 😲) but have yet to see a funnel web and long may that continue.
One of the less dangerous types has a habit of building webs between plants and across paths in the evening in summer just so you cop the sticky crap in your face when taking the dogs out for a walk 🤬
When I bought my first house back in the 90s I spent a few nights decorating it before the big move in happened and was sleeping in the lounge on a mattress on the floor.
Late one night I curled up on said mattress and just at the point where you start to drift off I felt the gentle tickle of a huge house spider as it slowly crawled over my face.
It was at that point I found out I could scream like a girl
[Post edited 22 Sep 2023 15:41]
Been here since 1984. Now THAT is what you call punishment
We've got one of them small hand held Dyson hoover things, I use It to hoover up fly's on the understanding that I empty said small Dyson into the black wheelie bin immediately after I've hoovered up said shocked and spinning around at 180 MPH bloody fly.
Late the other night I could sense something moving behind me, turned around and there walking across the floor In my general direction was an enormous and I mean enormous black hairy spider, I quickly ran out the room to get the Dyson and hoovered the MOFO up.
You can see the contents of the Dyson as the dust area Is see through plastic, I'm quite sure that the spider had a look on It's face akin to WTF happened there? I cruelly switched the Dyson on and off a few times just to satisfy my lust for odd humour but It was funny watching the look on the spiders face as one minute Its stood perfectly still wondering how the hell did I get In here and the next minute he's spinning around at 180 MPH.
My Father had a profound influence on me, he was a lunatic.
Spiders are great, amazing creatures. They still scare the bejeezus out of me though, especially those big indoor ones.
About a year ago I held a Chilean Rose Tarantula in my hand, was amazed at how light it was, like paper. Expected to feel like a pebble. I only did it ‘cos my kids did and I couldn’t wuss out. Glad I did as it did help with my sort of fear of them. Not gone away but it is better.
I reckon people are scared of them because they are fast and completely unpredictable as to where they are going. If slower, much slower, and a bit more linear in their movement I think people would be ok with them.
Not a huge fan of spiders but on the c**t scale, they are a level below cockroaches. Horrible things. What do they do? What value do they bring to the planet? The creature equivalent of Chelsea fans
One big firker yesterday made a web between my guitar and booze shelf. (the only thing it was gonna catch was fumes).
I gently ejected my guest and placed it outside and about an hour later there was a new web outside with my late guest happily swinging away in the wind.
I read up on mating season so the window will remain closed for the time being. Mossies don't bite me but spiders do. (I'm sure I could put that to the goldie looking chain song. Guns dont kill people... was that them? I can't be arsed to look)
[Post edited 22 Sep 2023 18:18]
Beer and Beef has made us what we are - The Prince Regent
One big firker yesterday made a web between my guitar and booze shelf. (the only thing it was gonna catch was fumes).
I gently ejected my guest and placed it outside and about an hour later there was a new web outside with my late guest happily swinging away in the wind.
I read up on mating season so the window will remain closed for the time being. Mossies don't bite me but spiders do. (I'm sure I could put that to the goldie looking chain song. Guns dont kill people... was that them? I can't be arsed to look)
[Post edited 22 Sep 2023 18:18]
if the spider was that big, perhaps you could have strummed the web as well as the guitar.
Epigraph to Rae Yang's Spider Eaters, a memoir of the Cultural Revolution:
Many historic lessons were obtained through tremendous sacrifice. Such as eating food - if something is poisonous, we all seem to know it. It is common sense. But in the past many people must have eaten this food and died so that now we know better. Therefore I think the first person who ate crabs was admirable. If not a hero, who would dare eat such creatures? Since someone ate crabs, others must have eaten spiders as well. However, they were not tasty. So afterwards people stopped eating them. These people also deserve our heartfelt gratitude.
My wife loves watching me flapping about on a walk this time of year as my head scoops up all the cobwebs that those under six feet tall never have to worry about.
Found several of these fellas in my house in recent weeks. Enormous. One barely fitted in one of those wide rimmed glass tankards you get from Aldi. Caught it and released it a good walk from the house!
Returned from a work trip abroad late Thursday night to two of them casually chilling in different parts of the house. Read up that it’s to do with mating season. Hopefully they’ll return/stay under the floorboards or in the cavity walls soon.
I know this video says they don’t bite but when in the glass you could see their fangs going at it, and online it does say they can bite and have some venom, although they very rarely do because they are scared of everything. Not sure I want to leave that to chance.
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- and a lot of their potted box bushes were showing signs of the infestation too: foliage biscuit brown, lifeless looking and devoid of greenery. The moth, by the wave, is stunning, a day flying one, quite large, all white except for a black band round the edge of its wings. 
