The Weston Report: Would It Be Best To Laugh Or Cry... Or Both!!??
Monday, 26th Sep 2016 07:01 by Ryan Weston

Abject. Embarrassing. Disgraceful. Insert adjective here.

The roots of supposed recovery stemming from our previous two league outings were well and truly killed as a beleaguered Blackburn left the iPro with the points.

Showing just one change from the side that should have won in Bristol, optimism was high. Surely Rovers would provide us with the perfect opportunity to get that elusive goal and home win? Well we got one of the two at least…

You’d have thought and hoped that the Rams would come out guns blazing and get the growingly frustrated fans right behind them. Instead, a long punt from Blackburn, onto which Pearce let the lanky Gallagher run straight in front of him to ultimately win a corner, setting the tone.

Gallagher was already proving a handful and had a penalty claim turned away inside five minutes. Keogh sloppily tried to let the ball run to Carson, who just about got there to thwart the big striker. Sloppy. Another adjective to insert.

I’d like to tell you that the Rams knocked hard on the door inside the opening twenty, but truth be told, a poor game of football played out with little to shout about.

Indeed, the loyal Rams faithful seemed to sense what was coming, with 500 or so hearty souls from the North more audible.

Finally, a half chance. Anya’s trickery saw Vydra slice a shot to eventually find… was that a bird..? Was it a plane…? No…!! It was Darren Bent, trying an audacious overhead kick that no-one was surprised to see go miles wide.

Gallows humour is something at least that the Derby fans have been able to develop in abundance. Anyone who attended the majority of games during THAT season in 07/08 will lay testament to that. You could have been forgiven for thinking you had travelled back in time, such was the atmosphere following our next move.

The lively Anya was released clean through in the left channel and despite being flagged well before he eventually slid the ball into the net, that didn’t stop sarcastic celebrations. These were closely followed by a chorus of, ‘we nearly scored,’ that was reminiscent of the ‘let’s pretend we’ve scored a goal’ nine seasons ago.

Except then, we actually nearly did! Butterfield, who had obviously been told to shoot on sight, had already seen a couple of efforts blocked and wide. Following an all too rare slick move, Hughes stabbed back to Jacob on the edge of the box. A poor first touch but good second, he was unlucky to see his firm left-footed strike well saved by Steele. ‘We nearly scored!’

There followed more tedium, more huffing and puffing than the big bad wolf from those seated all around me. Our visitors were than gifted a chance to blow the door down. A looping ball in the box saw Emnes take a touch inside Keogh, who needlessly dangled his leg. Going down like Tom Daley in Rio, the striker made the biggest meal of the contact, but a pen nonetheless.

Thankfully, Ben Marshall had not read that no-one ever misses a penalty against Derby, nor it seemed, the rule book. Striking his penalty hard to Carson’s left, his shot hit the post and rebounded back to him, only for him to roll it wide. Of course, this would not have counted but it mattered little. A massive let off.

You felt that this could just be the spark to lift us, with the half-time oranges tasting better in the home dressing room. Unfortunately, I wasn’t in there and was instead subjected to a bizarre routine involving an inflatable kangaroo and a man-eating fish. Quite what was in my two pre-match beers I’m not sure?

Ten minutes into the second half and I wanted the kangaroo and fish back, as the tedium continued. No tempo, no cohesion, plenty of Cyrus Christie losing the ball. When he did eventually stop dallying, his deep cross was met by Vydra, whose header was straight at Steele.

Blackburn were, average at best. However, their front two of Gallagher and Emnes were causing Keogh and Pearce much more problems than they should have, on the rare occasions they received service.

This said, with the final quarter of the game left, 0-0 looked a banker.

And then…

The Rams made a double sub, introducing Blackman and Weimann for Bent and Bryson. If it was Nick’s presence on the pitch remains to be seen but within moments, we were in front!

Anya picked up a throw-in and played a clever reverse ball to Vydra in the box. Striking low across the keeper, time seemed to stand still before the net bulged. Queue epic scenes. ‘We’ve SCORED A GOAL!’

And the atmosphere was amazing for at least 45 seconds. Just as the RAF fly past was ready to acclaim our glorious moment, the inevitable happened. Shocking defending saw us back off, back off, back off and allow Emnes to shoot and score, albeit via a massive deflection off the hapless Keogh.

To laugh? To cry? Both!!!

Within a minute, we were almost back in front. Blackman’s cross found Vydra, whose downward header was brilliantly saved by Steele.

If that was tough then what happened next was akin to being told you’d won the lottery and then finding out it was a computer error. In all honesty, Rovers deserve credit for a slick move, akin to Derby only two seasons ago. Seeing Danny Graham slide in Emnes’ great pass was even tougher to take. Danny ‘can’t hit cow’s backside with a banjo’ Graham.

You just knew that was that. Ince was called in from detention to join the fray but his body language spoke volumes. At least Vydra was having a go and he arguably should have done better, heading a cross well over unmarked.

There was time for a standard Nick Blackman cut inside and shoot wide for good measure but you just knew we wouldn’t turn it around. As the referee blew up, not allowing time a corner, it was hard to see us scoring from it anyway. It was just as hard to hear anything over the boos.

As our troops yet again made their way off with heads bowed and tails between their legs, confirmation of our position in the bottom three was confirmed. Only September yes, but this in itself speaks volumes. You’d be hard pressed to find anyone who felt, on this display, we don’t deserve to be.

Time for change Mr Pearson. Starting Tuesday.

Weston’s Player Ratings:

Scott Carson — 6: Distribution becoming a worry but no chance with goals.

Cyrus Christie — 5: Getting bored of him trying to beat a full back 7 times before crossing.

Richard Keogh — 5: Finally the Keogh haters have reason to berate him - a poor display.

Alex Pearce — 5: Got outpaced by Gallagher in the 2nd minute and that set the tone.

Marcus Olsson — 5: Another lacklustre display-no competition and it shows.

Will Hughes — 6: Ok in spells but too deep for the majority.

Craig Bryson — 6: Tireless but lost in a 2 man centre-midfield pairing.

Ikechi Anya — 7: Lively in possession and one of the few bright sparks.

Jacob Butterfield — 6: Very rarely gave possession away but too slow doing it!

Matej Vydra — 6: On the periphery for the most part but well taken goal.