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Dejan Lovren Celebrates No Longer Being The Most Hated Man In Southampton !

Liverpool's Dejan Lovren has tonight been celebrating the fact that he has dropped down the pecking order to become only the second most hated man in Southampton.

For the past three years Dejan Lovren has been public enemy number one in Southampton after his body demanded to leave Southampton and rejoin his head that was already in Liverpool.

Now by a big coincidence a similar situation has developed beween the two clubs although so far Saints have managed to keep Virgil Van Dijk in one piece albeit one that is not training due to an unsettled mindset.

That has lead many Saints fans feeling that they would quite like to send Van Dijk's head up to Merseyside preferably on a platter.

However for Dejan Lovren the situation does have a silver lining in that not only does he get several privileges reserved only for the 2nd most hated man in Southampton and not for the first, but if Saints do hold firm he has a chance of keeping his place in the Liverpool first team this coming season.

Lovren has found out the hard way what it is like to be MHMIS in the eyes of Saints supporters, he has enjoyed the benefits of having obscene songs sung about him every time the two clubs have met, he has enjoyed hearing the laughter in Southampton from a lonely penalty box in Istanbul when he skied the penalty that put Liverpool out of Europe against Besiktas and of course a hefty discount on the sympathy usually given to a former Saints player when they have adversity in their career, with Saints supporters giving him a whopping 100% discount off their usual caring attitude.

But now he is only deputy **** to Van Dijk's number one he also gets other benefits.

He can now park his car in the centre of Southampton as long as he parks it next to one with say the personal number plate VVW 1 (Not the real number) in the safe knowledge that his will remain untouched whilst the other could be turned into scrap metal.

He now will no longer need an armed guard to get him into St Mary's as all Police leave will be cancelled to get van Dijk into the ground, not that he will need it as if Van Dijk does go to Liverpool, then he will be on loan at Tranmere for the rest of the season.

He will be able to take a cruise from Southampton without the worry of a submarine attack, as long as he has checked Van Dijk hasn't also booked that cruise.

Life has just got so much better for Dejan Lovren and he has Virgil Van Dijk's agent to thank for it, for the biggest ghostwritten piece of fiction to be published since Ashley Cole's Autobiography.

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