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Ashes thread 17:11 - Jul 15 with 111080 viewsjohnhoop

Now that the World Cup’s done and dusted we can turn our attention to the next major event.
For me the most interesting questions about team selection are;
1) Do we open with Jason Roy? For me it’s a no brainer. I know all the arguments against- he doesn’t even open for Surrey, he struggles against the moving ball etc- but I feel that he’s in such good form and the alternatives are so mediocre that it would be silly not to. If he does come off he could give us control of the game in the first couple of hours. Him and Rory Burns for me.
2) Now that Jofra Archer has to have a place in the side, who are the other two quick bowlers going to be. If fit I guess Anderson has to play and I would give the third spot to Woakes but this means no place for Stuart Broad and the 90 mph+ Mark Wood.
3) Which spinner to go with - Ali or Rashid? Ali’s batting form seems to have dipped but it’s still not an easy decision to make.
Any thoughts?
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Ashes thread on 00:37 - Aug 28 with 2443 viewsSydneyRs

Ashes thread on 17:11 - Aug 27 by aston_hoop

What a weekend! The bloke in front of me at Headingley on Sunday left after Broads wicket, he'll regret that for ever.

Arise Sir Ben Stokes.


I wonder if he also left when we were 0-4 down to Newcastle at half time, quite a few did!
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Ashes thread on 00:53 - Aug 28 with 2435 viewsHooparoo

Ashes thread on 00:26 - Aug 28 by SydneyRs

There's different types of Aussies when it comes to cricket but all seem to share this absolute desperation to beat England. It seems ingrained from childhood. Even my very mild mannered and lovely in laws won't talk about it if England are going well but its the first topic of conversation if the Aussies are winning.

Its just not as important to us and that's partly because it still a bit exclusive there. Only read an article yesterday about how can they harness the Stokes moment and get more kids playing the game. The Aussie media love to portray England as a cricket obsessed nation in despair when they are winning but the UK's sporting passion largely resides with football and most have only a passing interest in cricket, if that. One country has a cricket ground that holds 100,000, the other a largest capacity of 30,000, that about suns it up.

I was shocked how much they care about the ashes when I first came to live here. I'd never really thought of it as any different to playing any other country before I emigrated. Back then they were utterly dominant too so 2005 was hugely enjoyable in ending that period. The subsequent wins have also been good, especially when we tonked them in 2010/11 (3 innings defeats for Australia at home and a declaration in the drawn game at 517/1 I think it was - even the worst England sides never managed that) down here, but 2005 was the one for me.

You only have to look at some of the replies every time the barmy army posts on facebook etc to see a reasonable chunk of them are bitter, racist bogans wracked with reverse snobbery and lack of basic grammar skills. I've been to matches here and some of the racist comments you hear are embarrassing. Not only England but India, Sri Lanka etc all cop it. We have the same type of people of course but they are to be found screaming about brexit or football instead. The barmy army are full of original and witty banter whereas these morons are very much the "oi, oi, oi" and "you are a w@nker" level of chanting inventiveness.

The majority are fine and its the usual banter. When you explain to them that the English just don't have the same interest on the whole they are shocked because they are led to believe we are for more into it than the reality.

Its still likely Aus will retain the urn as they only need one win from two games and Smith the immovable will be back. Stokes though has already provided the highlight of the series and of any series I have seen.


Agree about the lack of witty Aussie banter. I always tell my non-football mates that the banter at UK football games is cleverer and wittier than anything we have down under.

I cringe whenever I hear Aussie,Aussie, Aussie Oi,Oi,Oi! I always think is that the best we can do FFS?

Would rather be at Loftus Road listening to songs from the Loft 😉

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Ashes thread on 01:18 - Aug 28 with 2420 viewsisawqpratwcity

Ashes thread on 20:16 - Aug 27 by CamberleyR

So what's the third umpire got to do with it? Still smarting from Root's catch at Lord's being given are we?


Hilarious! You and Snipper jump like scalded cats!

E1Hoop said the umpires have been replaced. I have not been able to find any link to answer my (twice-asked) question or even confirm E1Hoop's original report.

Poll: Deaths of Thatcher and Mandela this year: Sad or Glad?

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Ashes thread on 07:30 - Aug 28 with 2369 viewsstowmarketrange

Ashes thread on 00:53 - Aug 28 by Hooparoo

Agree about the lack of witty Aussie banter. I always tell my non-football mates that the banter at UK football games is cleverer and wittier than anything we have down under.

I cringe whenever I hear Aussie,Aussie, Aussie Oi,Oi,Oi! I always think is that the best we can do FFS?

Would rather be at Loftus Road listening to songs from the Loft 😉


I was at the scg in 2018 and some Aussie fans were singing an original song of
“We’ve got the Ashes in our hands,
We’ve got the World Cup in our hands,
You’ve got f@ck all in your hands.”

I was hoping to change it this summer to
“We’ve got the Ashes in our hands,
We’ve got the World Cup in our hands,
You’ve got sandpaper in your hands.”
But only the sandpaper bit seems to have caught on.

We also had the other extreme at the scg where an idiot sat next to my 75 year old mate and started abusing him just because he was English.
We also had our own idiots singing about 10 german bombers and no surrender,so it’s not all one way traffic.
Enjoy the rest of the series mate and May the best team win.
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Ashes thread on 08:16 - Aug 28 with 2345 viewsElHoop

Ashes thread on 01:18 - Aug 28 by isawqpratwcity

Hilarious! You and Snipper jump like scalded cats!

E1Hoop said the umpires have been replaced. I have not been able to find any link to answer my (twice-asked) question or even confirm E1Hoop's original report.


It's difficult to find a definitive news report on the subject as there's no trace of who was originally appointed for the last two tests - so it's difficult for anyone to construct a proper report on the subject I guess.

This gives the nuts and bolts news:
https://www.sacricketmag.com/erasmus-roped-in-for-rest-of-ashes-series/

This is the updated ICC list:
https://www.icc-cricket.com/about/cricket/match-officials/umpire-appointments
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Ashes thread on 08:46 - Aug 28 with 2319 viewsSnipper

Ashes thread on 01:18 - Aug 28 by isawqpratwcity

Hilarious! You and Snipper jump like scalded cats!

E1Hoop said the umpires have been replaced. I have not been able to find any link to answer my (twice-asked) question or even confirm E1Hoop's original report.


Ha ha, you’ve been whinging since we won the World Cup fella.

It won’t say in the record books, ‘England, World Cup winners 2019, but only owing to Ben Stokes accidentally knocking a thrown ball to the boundary’.

It won’t say in the record books, England won the third Ashes test at Headingley due to dodgy umpiring’.

Australia will probably go on to retain the Ashes, but win or lose, I’m over it there and then. As SydneyRs put it, we’re football fans over here. That’s my main sporting interest by a long way.

Next time you’re over, I’ll buy you a drink. Only whinging about QPR will be allowed though :-)).
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Ashes thread on 09:49 - Aug 28 with 2279 viewsPommyhoop

Ashes thread on 00:26 - Aug 28 by SydneyRs

There's different types of Aussies when it comes to cricket but all seem to share this absolute desperation to beat England. It seems ingrained from childhood. Even my very mild mannered and lovely in laws won't talk about it if England are going well but its the first topic of conversation if the Aussies are winning.

Its just not as important to us and that's partly because it still a bit exclusive there. Only read an article yesterday about how can they harness the Stokes moment and get more kids playing the game. The Aussie media love to portray England as a cricket obsessed nation in despair when they are winning but the UK's sporting passion largely resides with football and most have only a passing interest in cricket, if that. One country has a cricket ground that holds 100,000, the other a largest capacity of 30,000, that about suns it up.

I was shocked how much they care about the ashes when I first came to live here. I'd never really thought of it as any different to playing any other country before I emigrated. Back then they were utterly dominant too so 2005 was hugely enjoyable in ending that period. The subsequent wins have also been good, especially when we tonked them in 2010/11 (3 innings defeats for Australia at home and a declaration in the drawn game at 517/1 I think it was - even the worst England sides never managed that) down here, but 2005 was the one for me.

You only have to look at some of the replies every time the barmy army posts on facebook etc to see a reasonable chunk of them are bitter, racist bogans wracked with reverse snobbery and lack of basic grammar skills. I've been to matches here and some of the racist comments you hear are embarrassing. Not only England but India, Sri Lanka etc all cop it. We have the same type of people of course but they are to be found screaming about brexit or football instead. The barmy army are full of original and witty banter whereas these morons are very much the "oi, oi, oi" and "you are a w@nker" level of chanting inventiveness.

The majority are fine and its the usual banter. When you explain to them that the English just don't have the same interest on the whole they are shocked because they are led to believe we are for more into it than the reality.

Its still likely Aus will retain the urn as they only need one win from two games and Smith the immovable will be back. Stokes though has already provided the highlight of the series and of any series I have seen.


Absolutely this..
Watch 'Fire in Babylon' to see who are the most racist cricket fans....

http://cdn.meme.am/instances/250x250/55039027.jpg
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Ashes thread on 09:56 - Aug 28 with 2270 viewsPommyhoop

Also on the lack of inventiveness its not just the fans... look back at the best sledges in history. Odds on it will be a witty reply to a mean spirited slur by an Ozzie player

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Ashes thread on 10:06 - Aug 28 with 2259 viewsstowmarketrange

Ashes thread on 09:56 - Aug 28 by Pommyhoop

Also on the lack of inventiveness its not just the fans... look back at the best sledges in history. Odds on it will be a witty reply to a mean spirited slur by an Ozzie player


Supposedly one of the aussie players tried to wind up Stuart Broad by saying that he’d shagged his sister last night and does that mean that they’re related now?
Stuart Broad allegedly said to the Aussie quick as a flash “ No that makes us even.”

Or one of the Pakistani batsmen calling an Aussie bowler nothing but a bus conductor all the session.When he finally took his wicket he rushed over to the pavilion and opened the gate for him to walk up the steps and held his hand out and said “tickets please.”
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Ashes thread on 10:09 - Aug 28 with 2255 viewsPommyhoop

Ashes thread on 10:06 - Aug 28 by stowmarketrange

Supposedly one of the aussie players tried to wind up Stuart Broad by saying that he’d shagged his sister last night and does that mean that they’re related now?
Stuart Broad allegedly said to the Aussie quick as a flash “ No that makes us even.”

Or one of the Pakistani batsmen calling an Aussie bowler nothing but a bus conductor all the session.When he finally took his wicket he rushed over to the pavilion and opened the gate for him to walk up the steps and held his hand out and said “tickets please.”


Yup there's loads mate..

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Ashes thread on 10:16 - Aug 28 with 2251 viewsPommyhoop

One I liked for its subtlety was when the Aussie WK called Gower a f*ckin cheat after he didn't walk. Gower fired back .'when in Rome Dear Boy,when in Rome'

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Ashes thread on 10:28 - Aug 28 with 2242 viewsHooparoo

Glen McGrath once said to Chanderpaul: “What does Brian Lara’s c@ck taste like?” To which Chanderpaul replied: “Why don’t you ask your wife?” 😉

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Ashes thread on 10:36 - Aug 28 with 2230 viewsHooparoo

Ashes thread on 10:28 - Aug 28 by Hooparoo

Glen McGrath once said to Chanderpaul: “What does Brian Lara’s c@ck taste like?” To which Chanderpaul replied: “Why don’t you ask your wife?” 😉


Wait. There’s more.

McGrath once asked Ranatunga: “Why are you so fat?”

Big fella’s reply: “Because every time I fck your wife she gives me a biscuit”

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Ashes thread on 11:03 - Aug 28 with 2200 viewsisawqpratwcity

Ashes thread on 08:16 - Aug 28 by ElHoop

It's difficult to find a definitive news report on the subject as there's no trace of who was originally appointed for the last two tests - so it's difficult for anyone to construct a proper report on the subject I guess.

This gives the nuts and bolts news:
https://www.sacricketmag.com/erasmus-roped-in-for-rest-of-ashes-series/

This is the updated ICC list:
https://www.icc-cricket.com/about/cricket/match-officials/umpire-appointments


That clears it all up, thanks.

Poll: Deaths of Thatcher and Mandela this year: Sad or Glad?

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Ashes thread on 11:22 - Aug 28 with 2185 viewsPommyhoop

Ashes thread on 10:28 - Aug 28 by Hooparoo

Glen McGrath once said to Chanderpaul: “What does Brian Lara’s c@ck taste like?” To which Chanderpaul replied: “Why don’t you ask your wife?” 😉


McGra grabbed him by the throat for that...Typical .Cant handle it back at em.

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Ashes thread on 11:53 - Aug 28 with 2163 viewsJamesB1979

Ashes thread on 11:22 - Aug 28 by Pommyhoop

McGra grabbed him by the throat for that...Typical .Cant handle it back at em.


I think that was during time his wife was seriously il though. McGrath is ok, magnificent bowler and his predictions are tongue in cheek. Warne, Michael Clarke, Ponting and the Waughs.....they just hate us and can’t take stick back.
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Ashes thread on 22:48 - Aug 28 with 2037 viewsCiderwithRsie

Ashes thread on 11:53 - Aug 28 by JamesB1979

I think that was during time his wife was seriously il though. McGrath is ok, magnificent bowler and his predictions are tongue in cheek. Warne, Michael Clarke, Ponting and the Waughs.....they just hate us and can’t take stick back.


Not sure about Ricky Ponting on your list, I seem to recall him being perfectly decent on TV/radio when I've heard him, I'd put him more in the McGrath camp of competitive on the pitch, perfectly decent off it.

Also, this summer is the first time I heard the story of his willingness to forfeit the match rather than let Justin Langer bat when concussed (when Langer was insisting on being fit) and he goes up in my estimation a lot for that.

Ian Healy, though...
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Ashes thread on 11:20 - Aug 29 with 1909 viewsBlackCrowe

For the first time i actually feel sorry for an Oz cricketer. Tim Paine. Now there is decent man, hungry to win, humble, dignified and articulate.

Unfortunately due to either the size of the task or the ability to captain, it's looking to big a job for him.

But in terms of getting some respect and decency back to Australian Cricket after Smith, Warner, Bancroft, Lehman and the odious culture, he's exactly what they need but they'll get rid of him of course and probably give it to another one-eyed win at all costs tw*t.

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Ashes thread on 11:55 - Aug 29 with 1885 viewsElHoop

Ashes thread on 11:20 - Aug 29 by BlackCrowe

For the first time i actually feel sorry for an Oz cricketer. Tim Paine. Now there is decent man, hungry to win, humble, dignified and articulate.

Unfortunately due to either the size of the task or the ability to captain, it's looking to big a job for him.

But in terms of getting some respect and decency back to Australian Cricket after Smith, Warner, Bancroft, Lehman and the odious culture, he's exactly what they need but they'll get rid of him of course and probably give it to another one-eyed win at all costs tw*t.


Can't see Langer giving the captaincy to somebody likely to pull out the sandpaper again. Paine's problem is that he doesn't really look good enough. Surely they'll want to get Carey into the side as he looks the better batsman of the two at the moment? I see that he's playing in a strong Oz side against Derbyshire at the moment.
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Ashes thread on 13:49 - Aug 29 with 2775 viewsjonno

Don't know about anyone else but I get the strong impression that Paine is captain of the side in name only and Smith is still really running the show. Might explain why some of the field placings were poor towards the end of the last test when Smith of course wasn't around.
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Ashes thread on 15:02 - Aug 29 with 2720 viewsisawqpratwcity

Ashes thread on 11:55 - Aug 29 by ElHoop

Can't see Langer giving the captaincy to somebody likely to pull out the sandpaper again. Paine's problem is that he doesn't really look good enough. Surely they'll want to get Carey into the side as he looks the better batsman of the two at the moment? I see that he's playing in a strong Oz side against Derbyshire at the moment.


Between Stokes and Archer, Oz knows this is Do Or Die Time.

Only two Aussie batsmen have shown any consistency, the rest have been one good innings this series, if that. That wouldn't be a problem if it weren't for England's last innings where another, fifth, bowler was needed.

Smith has to get back in, as well as another bowler. It's going to be tough to make it all fit, but the easiest way to start is to bring in Carey or toss the gloves to Wade, while getting tough on one or two of the of the other worse performing batsmen.

It's shit on Paine, but...
[Post edited 29 Aug 2019 15:08]

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Ashes thread on 15:32 - Aug 29 with 2697 viewsSnipper

Ashes thread on 15:02 - Aug 29 by isawqpratwcity

Between Stokes and Archer, Oz knows this is Do Or Die Time.

Only two Aussie batsmen have shown any consistency, the rest have been one good innings this series, if that. That wouldn't be a problem if it weren't for England's last innings where another, fifth, bowler was needed.

Smith has to get back in, as well as another bowler. It's going to be tough to make it all fit, but the easiest way to start is to bring in Carey or toss the gloves to Wade, while getting tough on one or two of the of the other worse performing batsmen.

It's shit on Paine, but...
[Post edited 29 Aug 2019 15:08]


There’s no way they’ll throw the captain under the bus.
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Ashes thread on 15:40 - Aug 29 with 2683 viewsisawqpratwcity

Ashes thread on 15:32 - Aug 29 by Snipper

There’s no way they’ll throw the captain under the bus.


I think you will be right, but it has been mentioned here and, dammit, I think it would be the right call. There's no shortage of keepers and Smith is doing the best sort of leading, i.e. by example.
[Post edited 29 Aug 2019 15:59]

Poll: Deaths of Thatcher and Mandela this year: Sad or Glad?

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Ashes thread on 19:11 - Aug 29 with 2620 viewsThe_Beast1976

I was at Headingley on Saturday and Sunday. Sensational stuff. Will be at Old Trafford next Friday - Sunday, and then all days at the Oval. Could go either way now this series. Come on England
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Ashes thread on 09:23 - Aug 30 with 2513 viewsisawqpratwcity

Ashes thread on 15:32 - Aug 29 by Snipper

There’s no way they’ll throw the captain under the bus.


Not in favour of Smudger, anyway. I've just been reminded, SS's suspension included a two year ban on being considered for leadership roles.

Poll: Deaths of Thatcher and Mandela this year: Sad or Glad?

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