| Corny Joke Warning 16:56 - Aug 29 with 806988 views | Boston |
What vehicle do electricians prefer to drive?
A Volts Wagon. |  |
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| Corny Joke Warning on 15:29 - Oct 26 with 3001 views | Esox_Lucius |
Whilst reading the autobiography of actor Yul Brynner, I discovered that he was an avid Liverpool FC fan and that he never used aftershave.
That's right! Yul never wore cologne. |  |
| The grass is always greener. |
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| Corny Joke Warning on 13:42 - Nov 4 with 2618 views | Esox_Lucius |
I walked into a hardware shop yesterday and as soon as I crossed the threshold all the stud finders started beeping. | |
| The grass is always greener. |
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| Corny Joke Warning on 13:44 - Nov 5 with 2442 views | SimonJames |
Many football fans know that The Proclaimers are massive Hibs fans and that their song "Sunshine On Leith" is sung at Hibs games.
But most people don't know that many years ago, Craig and Charlie Reid both worked as groundsmen for the club.
They got the sack after players complained that the grass was too long and it ruined their passing game.
In their defence, the brothers blamed this on stock shortages at B&Q
They went to branches at Bathgate no mower, Linwood no mower, Irvine no mower, Lochaber no mower, Sutherland no mower, Lewis no mower, Skye no mower... |  |
| 100% of people who drink water will die. |
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| Corny Joke Warning on 14:49 - Nov 5 with 2391 views | Boston |
| Corny Joke Warning on 13:44 - Nov 5 by SimonJames |
Many football fans know that The Proclaimers are massive Hibs fans and that their song "Sunshine On Leith" is sung at Hibs games.
But most people don't know that many years ago, Craig and Charlie Reid both worked as groundsmen for the club.
They got the sack after players complained that the grass was too long and it ruined their passing game.
In their defence, the brothers blamed this on stock shortages at B&Q
They went to branches at Bathgate no mower, Linwood no mower, Irvine no mower, Lochaber no mower, Sutherland no mower, Lewis no mower, Skye no mower... |
That's probably 500 miles . [Post edited 5 Nov 14:50]
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| Corny Joke Warning on 20:45 - Nov 11 with 2127 views | Sonofpugwash |
I eas at a funeral the other week and we were all gathered around the grave..The priest said "does anyone want to say a few words?"
From the back a voice is heard ...."i'm a Vegan". |  |
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| Corny Joke Warning on 16:45 - Nov 13 with 1898 views | Esox_Lucius |
I made some binoculars out of an old colander.
Now I have strained my eyes... | |
| The grass is always greener. |
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| Corny Joke Warning on 14:45 - Nov 15 with 1617 views | Boston |
I was in the library this morning and the bloke in front of me asked if they had Donald Trump's book on immigration.
Bristling with rage the librarian shouted "get out of here and never come back"!
"Yeah, that's the one", he replied. | |
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| Corny Joke Warning on 19:24 - Nov 17 with 1289 views | Esox_Lucius |
"Father I have some questions concerning my faith"
"What do you want to ask me my child?"
"Is it true the bread is the body of Christ?"
"Yes my child, that is true".
"Is it true that Jesus rose up after his death?"
"Yes my child, that is true"
"Was that because of the yeast?"
"Get out! and don't ever come back". | |
| The grass is always greener. |
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| Corny Joke Warning on 14:34 - Nov 19 with 1049 views | Esox_Lucius |
My wife just told me that she wants a kitten for Xmas. I told her "Don't be so stupid, it's too small. We'll have a Turkey like we always do". | |
| The grass is always greener. |
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| Corny Joke Warning on 20:19 - Nov 19 with 910 views | Esox_Lucius |
To lose weight, I hollowed out some bread and wore it on my head.
Yes, it's a loaf hat diet. | |
| The grass is always greener. |
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| Corny Joke Warning on 23:15 - Nov 19 with 831 views | bosh67 |
| Corny Joke Warning on 20:19 - Nov 19 by Esox_Lucius |
To lose weight, I hollowed out some bread and wore it on my head.
Yes, it's a loaf hat diet. |
That's terrible... I like it. |  |
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| Corny Joke Warning on 09:14 - Nov 20 with 738 views | Esox_Lucius |
| Corny Joke Warning on 23:15 - Nov 19 by bosh67 |
That's terrible... I like it. |
Corn bread? | |
| The grass is always greener. |
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| Corny Joke Warning on 19:22 - Nov 20 with 567 views | NewBee |
| Corny Joke Warning on 20:19 - Nov 19 by Esox_Lucius |
To lose weight, I hollowed out some bread and wore it on my head.
Yes, it's a loaf hat diet. |
Dough!
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| Corny Joke Warning on 11:32 - Nov 22 with 243 views | Esox_Lucius |
It used to be a tradition in our house at Xmas to have breakfast, go out and have a few bevvies then come back and deck the halls.
After 8 years of this the Halls moved away. | |
| The grass is always greener. |
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| Corny Joke Warning on 12:31 - Nov 22 with 174 views | johann28 |
| Corny Joke Warning on 11:32 - Nov 22 by Esox_Lucius |
It used to be a tradition in our house at Xmas to have breakfast, go out and have a few bevvies then come back and deck the halls.
After 8 years of this the Halls moved away. |
Went to the library and asked them if i could borrow a book 'how to commit suicide'.
'sorry sir', the librarian said, 'you can read it in the library, but you can't borrow it'.
Doesnt make sense at all', i replied,'why ever not?'
'Because you'll never bring it back'. |  | | |
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