| Shìt Joke thread..... 21:41 - Nov 20 with 83873 views | Swanjaxs |
My blond 19 year old next door neighbour has just asked me if I know about missing items from her washing line? ...
I nearly shìt her knickers 😮
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| Shìt Joke thread..... on 22:16 - Nov 20 with 6575 views | JACKMANANDBOY |
| Shìt Joke thread..... on 22:13 - Nov 20 by arizlan |
What do women and Kentucky fried chicken have in common?
...take away the leg and breast and your left with a smelly box! |
Man goes to the doctors complaining of deafness, Doctor says " what are the symtoms?"
Man says "an american cartoon family". |  |
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| Shìt Joke thread..... on 22:17 - Nov 20 with 6569 views | jackportis |
Knock knock....
Who’s there......
Bigish ........
Bigish who
No thanks get a job. |  |
| Jackportis the brand. “A gifted posterâ€, “planet swans have a real talent on their hands in the name of Jackportis†sky sports 2018. . JP fully supports posters of LBG, mx orientation and ethnic minority groups. Update - now fully supporting the pansexual community. |
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| Shìt Joke thread..... on 22:17 - Nov 20 with 6563 views | arizlan |
How do you know if your mrs is fat?
...when you pull her knickers down her ass is still in them! |  | | |
| Shìt Joke thread..... on 22:19 - Nov 20 with 6556 views | Swanjaxs |
| Shìt Joke thread..... on 22:17 - Nov 20 by arizlan |
How do you know if your mrs is fat?
...when you pull her knickers down her ass is still in them! |
You know your fat when your missus askes to come over your tìts.... (.)(.) | |
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| Shìt Joke thread..... on 22:21 - Nov 20 with 6546 views | Lohengrin |
I went to the butchers the other day and I bet him 50 quid that he couldn't reach the meat off the top shelf.
"No, you're right" he said, "the steaks are too high." |  |
| An idea isn't responsible for those who believe in it. |
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| Shìt Joke thread..... on 22:26 - Nov 20 with 6532 views | max936 |
| Shìt Joke thread..... on 21:56 - Nov 20 by Swanjaxs |
Two parrots on a perch... one turns to the other and says "can you smell fish"?.... |
ffs mun  |  |
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| Shìt Joke thread..... on 22:30 - Nov 20 with 6525 views | Swanjaxs |
| Shìt Joke thread..... on 22:26 - Nov 20 by max936 |
ffs mun |
Now that's what you call a fisherman's joke max 🟠😂 | |
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| Shìt Joke thread..... on 22:32 - Nov 20 with 6517 views | jack2jack |
Two cannibals eating a clown,one turns to the other and says, does this taste funny to you!
Two old Aerials get married,the ceremony was ok, but the reception wasn't up to much!
Taxi |  | | |
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| Shìt Joke thread..... on 22:43 - Nov 20 with 6495 views | max936 |
| Shìt Joke thread..... on 22:30 - Nov 20 by Swanjaxs |
Now that's what you call a fisherman's joke max 🟠😂 |
I'll fetch your coat  | |
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| Shìt Joke thread..... on 22:51 - Nov 20 with 6475 views | Dan_Swan |
What did the cannibal do after he dumped his girlfriend?
Wiped his arse..... |  |
| Still following Dr's orders! |
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| Shìt Joke thread..... on 22:51 - Nov 20 with 6472 views | Darran |
A penguin is driving along, eating an ice cream, when his car starts making a funny noise. He decides to stop off at the local garage.
The polar bear mechanic lifts the bonnet, pokes around, then shakes his head. Looking up at the driver he says, 'Looks like you've blown a seal, mate!'
'Nah.' says the penguin. 'I've been eating ice cream.' |  |
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| Shìt Joke thread..... on 22:55 - Nov 20 with 6469 views | Swanjaxs |
| Shìt Joke thread..... on 22:51 - Nov 20 by Darran |
A penguin is driving along, eating an ice cream, when his car starts making a funny noise. He decides to stop off at the local garage.
The polar bear mechanic lifts the bonnet, pokes around, then shakes his head. Looking up at the driver he says, 'Looks like you've blown a seal, mate!'
'Nah.' says the penguin. 'I've been eating ice cream.' |
Fair play 👠| |
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| Shìt Joke thread..... on 22:58 - Nov 20 with 6462 views | BrynCartwright |
| Shìt Joke thread..... on 22:12 - Nov 20 by Swanjaxs |
He's not the Messiah.... he's a very naughty boy! Classic 😂 |
And of course a whole sketch was written around...
"My dog has no nose"
"How does he smell?"
"Terrible"
I'll get my coat. |  |
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| Shìt Joke thread..... on 23:09 - Nov 20 with 6448 views | dizietsma |
I took a night school class called "How to weigh dogs by hand".
It wasn't much good but I picked up a few pointers. | | | |
| Shìt Joke thread..... on 23:11 - Nov 20 with 6445 views | lifelong |
Bloke goes into the doctor and complains that his turds are the shape of potato chips, doctor examines him and tells him nothing to worry about, advises him to cut 3 inches off his string vest. |  | | |
| Shìt Joke thread..... on 23:18 - Nov 20 with 6435 views | KingBony |
What do you call a girl with no legs?
A Dirty c*** |  |
| Daddy Daddy cool, Daddy Daddy cool |
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| Shìt Joke thread..... on 23:23 - Nov 20 with 6425 views | Swanjaxs |
Me and the missus entered a strawberry picking contest on a farm down the Gower last summer, you had 30 minutes to pick the most strawberries, the heaviest basket won, fair play a woman with no legs won first prize... jammy c#*t ... | |
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| Shìt Joke thread..... on 23:26 - Nov 20 with 6413 views | Darran |
| Shìt Joke thread..... on 23:23 - Nov 20 by Swanjaxs |
Me and the missus entered a strawberry picking contest on a farm down the Gower last summer, you had 30 minutes to pick the most strawberries, the heaviest basket won, fair play a woman with no legs won first prize... jammy c#*t ... |
That’s dreadful. Have a word with ewself mun. | |
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| Shìt Joke thread..... on 23:28 - Nov 20 with 6410 views | Swanjaxs |
| Shìt Joke thread..... on 23:26 - Nov 20 by Darran |
That’s dreadful. Have a word with ewself mun. |
Soz mush 😞 | |
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| Shìt Joke thread..... on 23:30 - Nov 20 with 6406 views | Joe_bradshaw |
A giraffe walks in to a bar, turns to all the customers and says-
“The highballs are on me”. |  |
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| Shìt Joke thread..... on 23:52 - Nov 20 with 6378 views | WarwickHunt |
What will Postman Pat be called when he retires?
Pat. |  | | |
| Shìt Joke thread..... on 00:13 - Nov 21 with 6361 views | theloneranger |
...Jack and Debbie got married...but can't afford a honeymoon...so they go back to Jack's parent's home for their first night together....
In the morning Jack's little brother... Johnny.. gets up and has his breakfast....
As he is going out of the door to go to school... he asks his Mam if Jack and Debbie are up yet...
She replies... "No"....
Johnny asks.... "Do you know what I think" ??....
His Mam replies,..."I don't want to hear what you think Johnny.... Just go to school"...
Johnny comes home for lunch and asks his Mam...."Are Jack and Debbie up yet" ??...
She replies.... "No"...
Johnny says...."Do you know what I think" ??...
His Mam replies.... "Never mind what you think... Eat your lunch and go back to school"..
After school....Johnny comes home and asks yet again.... "Are Jack and Debbie up yet" ??...
His Mam says.... "No"....
He asks...."Do you know what I think" ??...
His Mam replies...."Ok... do tell me what you think" ??....
He says...."Last night Jack came to my room looking for the Vaseline.....and I think I gave him my airplane glue".......!! |  |
| Everyday above ground ... Is a good day! 😎 |
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| Shìt Joke thread..... on 05:00 - Nov 21 with 6305 views | Mo_Wives |
I remember a joke doing the rounds, when George Michael (god rest his soul) was in prison, that went something like this:
It's been rumoured that George Michael has been sodomised after he was taken to the infirmary to have a chocolate bar removed from his anus. His spokesman has denied the rumour, saying "It was just a careless whisper" |  |
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| Shìt Joke thread..... on 11:33 - Nov 21 with 6214 views | Nogginthenog |
Took the wife out for a meal last week, she said where's all the trams gone? |  | | |
| Shìt Joke thread..... on 16:35 - Nov 21 with 6154 views | theloneranger |
.... PLEASE AVOID DRINKING TEA...!!
..TEA IS AN EVIL SUBSTANCE..!!
Tea is much more dangerous than beer.
....I discovered this last night...I had drank about 14 pints of beer at the pub and my wife was at home drinking tea.....
You ought to have seen how violent and angry she was when I arrived home at 3am this morning....
I was peaceful and silent and headed straight to bed....but she carried on screaming and shouting all night...and long into the next morning...
So ladies.....if you can't handle your tea...
PLEASE DON'T DRINK IT....!!! | |
| Everyday above ground ... Is a good day! 😎 |
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