QPR travelled to Middlesbrough last Saturday and succumbed to a 2-0 defeat in Mick Harford's final game in charge.

1 - The Game Middlesbrough comfortably won this first encounter between the sides in more than a decade at the Riverside Stadium thanks to two penalties in the final five minutes of the first half from Barry Robson. The game was reasonably even, and of dreadfully poor quality, but while David Wheater bashed the QPR attack all over the park the QPR defence looked paper thin and caused itself problems throughout the game. Both penalties came from stupid defensive mistakes and Boro could actually have had three or four more from terribly slack play by the back four. This was a dire match between two mediocre (at best) teams and barely worth half of the £26 entrance fee a sparse crowd paid to see it.
3/10

2 - QPR performance Very much like the Coventry away game a fortnight before only with an extra goal costing defensive mistake. QPR had more than their fair share of the play throughout the whole 90 minutes, and did actually string one or two bits and pieces together, but overall the quality in the final third just wasn't there. Jay Simpson had a shot saved by Danny Coyne, Marcus Bent had a goal disallowed, Lee Cook had a penalty appeal waved away and Mikele Leigertwood hit the base of the post - so that's not bad for an away team out of form. Sadly though the defence at the other end was as bad as it has been for weeks. Matt Hill was poor at left back and then replaced by Gary Borrowdale who had a complete nightmare and could have cost us three goals in the half hour he was on the pitch. Kaspars Gorkss had his worst game for 18 months, constantly allowing the ball to bounce and giving away a stupid penalty, Ramage couldn't put a foot right and gave the other spot kick away, Damion Stewart looked pretty cumbersome and Carl Ikeme dropped a couple of routine crosses and nervously parried a few tame shots. We probably deserved a point from the game but a lack of desire in attack combined with a lack of assertiveness at the back made this a comfortable defeat instead.
4/10

3 - QPR support
We estimated there to be barely 300 QPR fans there from our position right at the very back of the away end so it was something of a surprise to see the official figure was nearly twice that. There was slightly more noise coming from the travelling faithful than there had been at Coventry - a gang of singers down low to our right tried to get things going every now and again, while another band down to our left entertained themselves with the 'Rangers Aggro' songs of old. Overall though it was clear that we really are down to the hardened die hards now, and they're not really in the singing mood just at the moment.
5/10

4 - Atmosphere
There wasn't any. These new grounds don't exactly lend themselves to a pumping wall of noise but when there are so many empty seats and so few apathetic, over charged fans inside it really is deathly quiet during a game. Boro had a gang of singers standing at the opposite end to us, and another similar sized group high off to the right waving giant flags. Italian clubs are big on these huge 'ultra' flags and Boro have them all around the stadium which is a nice touch. Overall though it felt like a reserve team match - both in quality and atmosphere.
3/10

5 - The Ground Pride Park with red seats and boats. Middlesbrough were one of the first to build a ground like this back in the 1990s and many other clubs have followed similar, or even blander, designs for their own out of town stadiums. They're all cathedrals of mediocrity, horrible places to visit, and this one is no different. For a start it is in the middle of an industrial wasteland, for second it has thousands of empty seats, third it's the same as any other new ground you've been to, fourth it has the atmosphere of a public toilet and so it goes on. £26 for a ticket. The only positives I could think of were the large flag the Boro fans wave and hang around the place which do at least make it a bit different to the other new grounds, and the huge ships behind the home end which added something somehow. Also, at least the main stand to the left of the away end is, sort of, two tiered so it's not as bland as Southampton and Leicester's grounds - although what is wrong with a proper two tiered stand with an overhang these days?
5/10

6 - Journey Ran to time and had a bloody good laugh. We changed at York rather than Darlington and got a return ticket for £14 by splitting the Sheffield to York and York to Middlesbrough legs up. Three moans - firstly why do people insist on sitting in reserved seats on trains, and then look terribly hurt and put out when the person who paid to reserve it turns up and asks to sit in it. Secondly why do people wait until the train is in the station with the doors open before they start reaching for coats, hats, scarves, gloves, and their 32 items of bulky luggage? If you're behind them wanting to get off you can suddenly find yourself missing your stop, if you're on the platform waiting to get on you think the train has emptied, go through the door and then get confronted by a latecomer lugging bags around. Thirdly - why is "tresspassers on the line" a reason for going at a snail's pace for ten miles or more making you late? Under Darwin's theory of survival of the fittest anybody thick enough to walk on railway lines deserves to be mashed to a bloody pulp by a fast train just to cleanse society of stupid people.

On the way there we entertained ourselves by comparing the distance from the tip of your thump to the tip of your index finger, and debating John Terry's true identity. Neither explanation is really suitable for LFW. On the way back our somewhat gloomy assessments of the match and QPR's prospects in general were interrupted by another QPR fan at the back of the carriage who claimed that the big problem with Rangers at the moment is too many people like us "coating them off". So it wasn't a totally wasted journey, months and months of wondering just how our team could go from being so good to so bloody awful and now I know. It's my fault.

The Grolsch swing tops started to take effect on the way home so an hour stop off in York where there were some seriously rough looking women about is a bit of a blur, as is the train journey from there back to Sheffield although we were all being bombarded with texts about Aaron Ramsey's injury - the official Sky text on the Iphones simply said: "his leg is gone." Which was a bit overly dramatic! Still, Ryan Shawcross is a lovely lad so that's alright then. Young Ellis was given extensive and detailed tips on how to deal with his first date scheduled for the day after by Young North. The boy is doomed.
7/10

7 - Pre Match Middlesbrough is well renowned for basically being a stadium in the middle of nowhere so we feared the worst as far as pubs were concerned. On our last visit in the late 1990s just after the ground had opened we went in the pub opposite the station but a quick look at that particular establishment, 'The Bridge' I think, put us right off and so we decided to head for Doctor Browns, a pub that had been recommended in the travel guide before the game. We got a taxi to it from the station but it turned out to be little more than two minutes and easily walkable - £2,60 the cab fare, which would have been the hire charge on a London equivalent. We wanted to watch Chelsea v Man City and the pub had a big screen with that on, though there was initial panic that as they seemed to be taking an Italian satellite feed it was going to show the Italian Rugby Union (spit, not even a sport) instead. Obviously the Chelsea game entertained us very much and the drinks were very reasonably priced as well.

From there it was only a ten minute walk to the ground, past a catering van doing hot roast pork, roast beef or roast turkey sandwiches which were easily the best thing ever served from a van in the history of the world. Afterwards we went back to the same pub to try and catch the start of the Arsenal game but left when they put the England rugby union (spit, not even a sport) on instead. Still a pleasant surprise, the locals were very friendly and the pub nice and accommodating to both sets of fans who mingled freely and laughed along with the Man City fans and players.
7/10

8 - Police and Stewards
Swarming everywhere - considering there were only 500 QPR fans there I thought it was a bit ridiculous to be honest. To be fair they must have had some intelligence, and the singing of the old 'Rangers Aggro' songs during the match may have backed that up, but you literally couldn't move around the ground and the railway station for police with dogs. Things got a little bit ridiculous when Young North tried to leave after an hour and head back to the pub to watch the scores come in, knowing our match was over, and was refused permission to leave the stadium. Surely it cannot be legal to hold you against your will in a football stadium? He was far more gracious about it than I would have been - no criminal record, not drunk and yet held prisoner in a football stadium for half an hour when all he wanted to do was get back in the warm somewhere and watch the scores come in. A shame to see that the all football fans = criminal scum mantra of the police lives on in this part of the world. 3/10
Total - 37/80

Photo: Action Images

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