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Best chant you've heard at a football match 00:31 - Dec 13 with 17728 viewsBenny_the_Ball

Apparently at MK Dons the AFC Wimbledon fans sang "Where were you when you were us?". Genius. Which got me thinking, what's the best chant you've heard at a football match?
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Best chant you've heard at a football match on 18:24 - Dec 13 with 2560 viewsPunteR

"Ashley Cole your John Terry's fish" as sung by 11 year old punter Jr not realizing our fans were singing ....." Your john Terry's bitch"..
He did wonder why the fans were singing "fish" . I shrugged my shoulders and told him to carry on while in stitches.
He's 15 now and I still wind him up about it.. Bless him.

Occasional providers of half decent House music.

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Best chant you've heard at a football match on 19:00 - Dec 13 with 2519 viewsnorthampton_hoop

I can't remember if it was against Liverpool or Huddersfield maybe but "we pay your benefits" was a good one.
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Best chant you've heard at a football match on 19:34 - Dec 13 with 2479 viewsloftboy

Not the best but the only one that's been directed at me, after Barton got sent off against Norwich I had the right hump, I caught the ball,Elliot Bennett the Norwich player beckoned to me to throw the ball back, so I did,extremely.hard,it bounced off the paddock wall and hit him under the chin,queue 3000 carrot crunchers as one "you fat bastard,you fat bastard " (was before my weight loss) and to top it off was threatened with ejection.

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Best chant you've heard at a football match on 20:12 - Dec 13 with 2429 viewsBrixtonR

My all time favourite and another Millwall one, probably somewhat out of order but funny in the context of the time.

86-87 Millwall v Leeds 11.00 am Kick off, never seen so many old bill outside, and the whole ground starts singing
'Did the Ripper, Did the Ripper, Did the Ripper f*** you Mum* over and over again to the paltry few hundred Leeds (Champions of Europe etc.) fans who had bothered to make the journey. Went to Rangers in afternoon and we lost 3-1 to Liverpool typical.
* to the tune of bread of heaven .....oooh i feel like Tony Incenzo in his books.

Also another quality Millwall one that made me laugh and which Rangers sang as well was 'You'll never make the station, You'll never make the station' Used to love chanting that to my girlfriend when she was late for work
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Best chant you've heard at a football match on 20:19 - Dec 13 with 2416 viewsRangersw12

Best chant you've heard at a football match on 20:12 - Dec 13 by BrixtonR

My all time favourite and another Millwall one, probably somewhat out of order but funny in the context of the time.

86-87 Millwall v Leeds 11.00 am Kick off, never seen so many old bill outside, and the whole ground starts singing
'Did the Ripper, Did the Ripper, Did the Ripper f*** you Mum* over and over again to the paltry few hundred Leeds (Champions of Europe etc.) fans who had bothered to make the journey. Went to Rangers in afternoon and we lost 3-1 to Liverpool typical.
* to the tune of bread of heaven .....oooh i feel like Tony Incenzo in his books.

Also another quality Millwall one that made me laugh and which Rangers sang as well was 'You'll never make the station, You'll never make the station' Used to love chanting that to my girlfriend when she was late for work


Surprised you didn't mention the Lions Lions war !

What about the chants on the way back from Burnley!
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Best chant you've heard at a football match on 20:34 - Dec 13 with 2397 viewsBrixtonR

Best chant you've heard at a football match on 20:19 - Dec 13 by Rangersw12

Surprised you didn't mention the Lions Lions war !

What about the chants on the way back from Burnley!


Lol

Was that your song at Burnley about purchasing musical instruments and not being particularly intelligent at a young age

OK a Rangers one.......Liverpool away 83-84 lost 0-2
We had good support up there and it was on match of the day and all you could hear was
'He shot he come all over Rush's Bum Grobellaar Grobellaar'
Quality
Apropos of nothing, I can remember pretty much everyone was wearing a vertical striped Leo Gemmilli jumper the day
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Best chant you've heard at a football match on 20:40 - Dec 13 with 2379 viewsWokingR

I did enjoy us telling Man Utd
"We lost the league for you"
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Best chant you've heard at a football match on 21:03 - Dec 13 with 2348 viewsBoston

Best chant you've heard at a football match on 11:48 - Dec 13 by Tonto

"Rufus is a dog's name" sung at Rufus Brevitt - I think it was Reading's fans at their old stadium?

"Jonjo Shelvey - you look like ET" (same game as the Andy Carroll and Suarez chants above - we were obviously on form as Andy Carroll was pishing himself laughing whilst warming up)

"you're going home on a combine harvester" - to Southampton back in the days of the Dell, which was followed up by "Oh Southampton, is full of boats" to the tune of when the Saints...

I started the "I was there when Nygaard scored" chant at Leicester - the one and only time I started one, so that has good memories!


That Liverpool away game was one full of quick witted banter, from the Rangers end anyway. Coming back on the Euston bound train full of red scarfers, I tucked in at a table and spent a pleasant couple of hours educating my new friends on what was and what is about supporting a London football club. The chant they thought the most amusing referred to Andy Carroll looking like a girl, the one they disliked was the one describing the rat looking like a rat.

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Best chant you've heard at a football match on 21:12 - Dec 13 with 2340 viewsPeterHucker

Bramall Lane, January 1993.
We were 1-0 up from the first half (Bradley Allen scored) and in the 2nd half it was so foggy that you couldn't see the goal down the other end of the pitch.
Suddenly we saw Sheffield United kicking off on the halfway line and we realised that we must've scored a goal down the other end.So we started celebrating the goal. (can't remember who scored, but nobody saw it anyway because of the fog).

Later in the match when the Blades fans start leaving we sung "We can't see you sneaking out"
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Best chant you've heard at a football match on 21:59 - Dec 13 with 2310 viewsPunteR

He's one of our own, he's one of our own, Richard Keogh, he's one of our own.

Shamelessly just nicked from the LFW Twitter wall thingy
[Post edited 13 Dec 2016 22:02]

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Best chant you've heard at a football match on 22:13 - Dec 13 with 2292 viewsmarkrtid

Uddersfield Town telling us we were (not very good) but them not knowing that two weeks later they would be joining us.
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Best chant you've heard at a football match on 22:36 - Dec 13 with 2267 viewsTGRRRSSS

Sang at Paul Peschisolido - "Your wife shagged Barry Fry" and on.
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Best chant you've heard at a football match on 23:15 - Dec 13 with 2215 viewsmarkrtid

To Tommy Docherty. 'That was a close Shave!'

Belive me. On the night it was classic. You had have been there.
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Best chant you've heard at a football match on 01:31 - Dec 14 with 2152 viewsderbyhoop

The guy who proposed to his girlfriend on the pitch at HT was greeted with 15,000 people singing "You don't know what you're doing".

"Travel is fatal to prejudice, bigotry and narrow-mindedness, and many of our people need it sorely on these accounts. Broad, wholesome, charitable views of men and things cannot be acquired by vegetating in one little corner of the Earth all one's lifetime." (Mark Twain) Find me on twitter @derbyhoop and now on Bluesky

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Best chant you've heard at a football match on 05:47 - Dec 14 with 2122 viewsSydneyRs

Poland away with England in the early 90s. "Rosenthal, w@nk, w@nk, w@nk" repeatedly as he was trying to conduct on pitch interviews after the game.

The Loft yelling "TIMMY!" in high pitched voices every time former Southampton and Blackburn keeper Tim Flowers touched the ball. He hated it.

"Did the social pay your fare" to every visiting northern away following.

"I can't read and I can't write,l but that don't really matter, cause I've come down from Ipswich Town and I can drive a tractor" in best farmer style voices.

"Laughed when she saw it, she only laughed when she saw it", directed at Bryan Robson at Old Trafford shortly after he was alleged to have flashed at someone.

Not football but "you're just a sh1t Ricky Ponting" directed at Michael Clarke when he was being interviewed after the 2011 Sydney test was very amusing.
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Best chant you've heard at a football match on 05:55 - Dec 14 with 2120 viewsSydneyRs

Best chant you've heard at a football match on 10:27 - Dec 13 by ElHoop

'Ashley Cole - you're John Terry's bitch' was a favourite of mine.

The most notorious song of fans of the two teams I've followed definitely goes to Wealdstone - an oppo goes down badly injured to the sound of Hey Jude - 'La la la lalalala - swallow your tongue, you c*nt'.


Yes I remember that Wealdstone one well, the sort of thing you would be hauled out for in league grounds.
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Best chant you've heard at a football match on 08:36 - Dec 14 with 2066 viewsmrmonkey

Best chant you've heard at a football match on 11:46 - Dec 13 by Copenranger

Have to mention our game at HQ against Leicester 3-4 seasons ago.
We ended up winning 3-2 after being behind twice (as I remember it).
Best QPR game I've seen live!!! And being a Dane, I especially remember the chants to Kasper Schmeichel, when we scored.
"You're sh#t and your dad's a c*nt" (repeat) and
"Your dad's not proud of you" (repeat).
Really like KS when he plays for our national team, but that was hillarious!!


"You're sh#t and your dad's a c*nt" (repeat) and...

...Surely more apt for Shaun Wright Phillips
[Post edited 14 Dec 2016 8:42]
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Best chant you've heard at a football match on 10:39 - Dec 14 with 2016 viewsEsox_Lucius

At BAE when he played for the Spuds; He's got his mums muff on hid head ad nauseum. Also "She'll be running round Tescos with her shopping in her coat..." for JT's mum. Honourable mention to "The Football league is upside down..."
[Post edited 14 Dec 2016 12:33]

The grass is always greener.

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Best chant you've heard at a football match on 11:23 - Dec 14 with 1987 viewspaulparker

One sweaty pussy, there's only one sweaty pussy

sang to jude the cat at a baking hot day at Wycombe around 2002

your the face of pukka pies, to paddy Kenny when he was at sheff utd

on the train home from the Wembley play off final, packed full of rangers was a woman with about 6 bin liners , so the whole carriage erupts with

shes left her old man, shes left her old man , woman with bin liners she s left her old man

And Bowles is onside, Swinburne has come rushing out of his goal , what can Bowles do here , onto the left foot no, on to the right foot That’s there that’s two, and that’s Bowles Brian Moore

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Best chant you've heard at a football match on 11:23 - Dec 14 with 1987 viewsheadhoops

Best chant you've heard at a football match on 20:40 - Dec 13 by WokingR

I did enjoy us telling Man Utd
"We lost the league for you"


2-1 and we fuc£ed it up
2-1 and we fuc£ed it up

around the time that scumbag young got derry sent off.

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Best chant you've heard at a football match on 11:31 - Dec 14 with 1976 viewsMetallica_Hoop

After the Ninian Park game when Monty's Pass won the GN and I think Langley got the winner (or opener) couple hundred of theirs waiting outside to congratulate us on our win so they locked us in.

"We're not coming out,
We're not coming out"
We're not coming, we're not coming, we're not coming out!"

I thought was very funny.

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Best chant you've heard at a football match on 11:41 - Dec 14 with 1967 viewsDannyPaddox

Best chant you've heard at a football match on 01:31 - Dec 14 by derbyhoop

The guy who proposed to his girlfriend on the pitch at HT was greeted with 15,000 people singing "You don't know what you're doing".


To Fulham's credit they sang the same song when a supporter was introduced on the pitch at half-time (in the manner of a show-trial) late on last season (or was it the season before) during an evening home game with Rotherham. The bloke was on the pitch waving to the crowd as Diddy David Hamilton announced: " A big hand for 'Toby Whatsisname. Our first season-ticket renewal for next season". Cue the home crowd singing: 'You don't know what you're doing!" My heart warmed to them ... momentarily of course.

Konkfirmation needed as Wikipedia might say.
[Post edited 14 Dec 2016 11:48]
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Best chant you've heard at a football match on 12:18 - Dec 14 with 1920 viewsDees

Not personally witnessed but it made me laugh

Wimbledon fans to Luton goalkeeper, Elliot Justham "You're just a s**t Tesco sandwich"
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Best chant you've heard at a football match on 12:50 - Dec 14 with 1902 viewsDorse

I always liked the one that was directed at pretty much every northern team: 'If you can't talk proper, shut yer maaaaaaaf!'

My younger brother is an Arsenhole fan and he told me about singing 'We All Live In A World Of Perry Groves' (to the tune of Yellow Submarine). Never understood that one but it still makes me smirk.

'What do we want? We don't know! When do we want it? Now!'

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Best chant you've heard at a football match on 14:47 - Dec 14 with 1834 viewsNW10Hoop

Best chant you've heard at a football match on 12:50 - Dec 14 by Dorse

I always liked the one that was directed at pretty much every northern team: 'If you can't talk proper, shut yer maaaaaaaf!'

My younger brother is an Arsenhole fan and he told me about singing 'We All Live In A World Of Perry Groves' (to the tune of Yellow Submarine). Never understood that one but it still makes me smirk.


That's reminded me of the Ireland song for Gary Breen. (yellow submarine)

At number 1 is Gary Breen
At number 2 is Gary Breen
At number 3 is Gary Breen
At number 4 is Gary Breen

We all dream of a team of Gary Breens, a team of Gary Breens etc.
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