| Corny Joke Warning 16:56 - Aug 29 with 871615 views | Boston |
What vehicle do electricians prefer to drive?
A Volts Wagon. |  |
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| Corny Joke Warning on 22:55 - Apr 10 with 7703 views | Boston |
Planted a light bulb in my garden
It's grown into a power plant. | |
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| Corny Joke Warning on 22:59 - Apr 10 with 7700 views | Myke |
When my son was five or six I was teaching him how to tell the time. 'It's really easy' I said. 'There are three hands on the clock. First hand is the hour hand. Second hand is the minute hand and the third hand is the second hand' | | | |
| Corny Joke Warning on 23:02 - Apr 10 with 7697 views | Boston |
The ice making factory in my town suffered a power failure yesterday.
They've gone into liquidation. | |
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| Corny Joke Warning on 20:43 - Apr 11 with 7551 views | Myke |
An undertaker friend of mine thinks that glass coffins are the future. Remains to be seen I suppose | | | |
| Corny Joke Warning on 01:34 - Apr 12 with 7465 views | Boston |
Well, my undertaker friend tried to sell me a burial plot the other day, I told him it was the last thing I needed. | |
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| Corny Joke Warning on 01:44 - Apr 12 with 7458 views | Boston |
The three stages of a mans life...
He believes in Santa Claus
He doesn't believe in Santa Claus
He is Santa Claus. | |
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| Corny Joke Warning on 15:19 - Apr 17 with 7248 views | Esox_Lucius |
I bought a genuine Van Gogh coffee table from my local FB selling site. I know it is genuine Van Gogh as there was a bit of veneer missing. |  |
| The grass is always greener. |
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| Corny Joke Warning on 19:31 - Apr 17 with 7167 views | Boston |
I went to a tough school. One day the English teacher asked "what comes after a sentence?".
"That's easy", says I, "the appeal". | |
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| Corny Joke Warning on 20:26 - Apr 17 with 7120 views | Myke |
When I was a kid, I had my ID stolen. I was just a k until I turned 18. | | | |
| Corny Joke Warning on 21:10 - Apr 17 with 7080 views | Boston |
After living in the USA for most of my adult life I decided to retire back to London.
When Halloween came around I heard this banging on my front door, opening it there was this little snot nose with his hand out shouting "trick or treat".
"Y'what", I said, "we're not in America now y'know".
"Come on mate", says snotty, "you lived there for donkey's, I'm just bringing a bit of American culture to Wembley".
"Sure", says I, "now get off my fcking door step or I'll shoot ya". | |
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| Corny Joke Warning on 10:20 - Apr 20 with 6948 views | Esox_Lucius |
It is a little known fact that the swimming pool on the SS Titanic is still full after all these years. | |
| The grass is always greener. |
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| Corny Joke Warning on 00:15 - Apr 21 with 6840 views | Boston |
Know why you should never marry a tennis player?
Love means nothing to them. | |
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| Corny Joke Warning on 00:42 - Apr 21 with 6826 views | Boston |
Anyone else got a little Spanish lingo about 'em, ever notice The Los Angeles Angels baseball team translates into The The Angels Angels? | |
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| Corny Joke Warning on 09:07 - Apr 21 with 6744 views | Esox_Lucius |
Went to my local restaurant last night.
The owner asked me "Do you mind waiting for a bit?"
I said "Not at all"
He said "Good, then take these drinks to table 7" | |
| The grass is always greener. |
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| Corny Joke Warning on 15:28 - Apr 21 with 6678 views | Esox_Lucius |
Q. Why do dogs always float in water?
A. Because they are good buoys. | |
| The grass is always greener. |
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| Corny Joke Warning on 11:15 - Apr 22 with 6575 views | qprphil |
The only cow in a small town in Ireland stopped giving milk. Then the town folk found they could buy a cow in Scotland quite cheaply. So, they brought the cow over from Scotland. It was absolutely wonderful, it produced lots of milk every day, and everyone was happy.
They then bought a bull to get more cows, so they'd never have to worry about their milk supply again.They put the bull in the pasture with the cow, but whenever the bull tried to mount the cow, the cow moved away. No matter what approach the bull made, the cow would move away, and he was never able to do the deed. The people were very upset and decided to see the vet, who was very wise, tell him what was happening, and ask his advice. " Whenever the bull tries to mount the cow, she moves away. If he approaches from the back she moves forward, when he approaches from the front, she backs off.
If she attempts it from one side, she moves to the other side."
The vet rubbed his chin thoughtfully and pondered this before asking, " did you by chance buy this cow in Scotland?" The people were dumbfounded since no one had mentioned that they had brought the cow over from Scotland. "You are truly a wise vet," they said, " how did you know we bought the cow from Scotland?"
The vet replied with a distant look in his eye, " my wife's from Scotland." | | | |
| Corny Joke Warning on 14:50 - Apr 22 with 6501 views | Esox_Lucius |
I have just about had it with Amazon.
Every time I order chicken pellets and grain, they email three days later asking for their feedback. | |
| The grass is always greener. |
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| Corny Joke Warning on 15:54 - Apr 22 with 6462 views | dontknowitall |
Just ordered a chicken and an egg from Amazon.
Will let you know. |  | | |
| Corny Joke Warning on 23:19 - Apr 22 with 6371 views | GaryT |
My Kids treat me like a God.
They hardly know I exist until they want something. |  | | |
| Corny Joke Warning on 00:59 - Apr 23 with 6326 views | Boston |
What d'ya call an Englishman in the World Cup?
Ref. | |
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| Corny Joke Warning on 01:05 - Apr 23 with 6324 views | Boston |
Heard about the latest British inter continental ballistic missile?
it's called the Civil Servant, doesn't work and can't be fired. | |
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| Corny Joke Warning on 09:29 - Apr 23 with 6266 views | Myke |
Every single time I lose something it is always in the last place I would look for it | | | |
| Corny Joke Warning on 09:37 - Apr 23 with 8938 views | queensparker |
Two dyslexics sitting in a pub.
One says "Can you smell gas?"
THe other one says" "Gas? I can't even smell my own f--king name!" |  | | |
| Corny Joke Warning on 10:41 - Apr 23 with 8872 views | qprphil |
A six year old goes to the hospital with her grandmother to visit her Grandpa.
When they get to the hospital, she runs ahead of her Grandma and bursts into Grandpa's room.
"Grandpa, Grandpa " she says excitedly, "as soon as Grandma walks into the room, make a noise like a frog!"
"What!" said her Grandpa. Make a noise like a frog, because Grandma said as soon as you croak, we're all going to Disneyland!" | | | |
| Corny Joke Warning on 10:47 - Apr 23 with 8867 views | Myke |
Two parrots standing on a perch. One sniffs and asks 'Can you smell fish?' | | | |
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