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Season Preview 23/24 – Strugglers

The writing looks to be on the wall for QPR but for part three of our 23/24 season preview let’s try and imagine a world where there are three worse teams than us in the Championship, and try and identify who they might be from the bookies’ favourites for relegation.

Rotherham 7/4 (relegation odds)

Last Season: Rotherham and Barnsley, Barnsley and Rotherham. Two South Yorkshire teams in red, 13 miles between them, forever battling their better-supported big city neighbours for bragging rights. It was 2005/06 when there was last a Championship season without one of them involved, and yet in the nigh-on 20 years since they’ve only met in the league in 2016/17 and 2020/21. As one goes up the other goes down, and last April, with Duffman thrusting Barnsley in the direction of the League One play-offs, and Rotherham sticking together a run of one victory in nine at precisely the wrong time, it looked like yet another summer of swapsies. The cosmic ballet goes on.

This time, though, no dice. And not just because of Josh Windass’ big Wembley winner in the division below either. The 22/23 campaign proved finally to be the one where the Millers stayed put in the second tier after three failed attempts in the prior six.

They started well, which always helps. Unbeaten in their first five, big home wins against Reading and Birmingham, and a draw at Loftus Road. After six years in charge they then lost Paul Warne and his backroom staff to League One big boys Derby, and after first choice Mark Bonner turned them down to stay with Cambridge they went for Matt Taylor from Exeter to replace him. The whole team and club had been built in Warne’s image for years so this was some task to inherit but, for once, the Millers actually pushed the boat out in January to bring in some Championship experienced reinforcements. No transfer fees, naturally, but five loans for Domingos Quina from Watford, Conor Coventry from West Ham, Leo Hjelde from Leeds, Bailey Wright from Sunderland, Tariqe Fosu from Brentford, and deals for My Chemical Hugill and Sean Morrison who come with a certain level of wage demand.

At one stage, with four points nicked off neighbours Sheff Utd, and Blackburn, Sunderland and QPR all soundly beaten at home, it looked like they’d survive with lots to spare. Hugill tore Rob Dickie a new bum. In the end – and their chronic problem of winning away at this level, just two victories all season making it nine from 92 over their last four years in the division, means this is always likely to be the case – it needed a tense, late 1-0 home win against Boro in the penultimate game to make it safe amidst a clutch of injuries to key players.

Ins >>> Cafu, 30, CM, Forest, Free >>> Grant Hall, 31, CB, Boro, Free >>> Dillon Phillips, 28, GK, Cardiff, Free >>> Fred Oneydinma, 26, RW, Luton, Loan >>> Dexter Lembikisa, 19, RB, Wolves, Loan

Outs >>> Chiedozie Ogbene, 26, RW, Luton, Free >>> Wes Harding, 26, RB, Millwall, Free >>> Josh Vickers, 27, GK, Derby, Free >>> Richard Wood, 37, CB, Doncaster, Free >>> Conor Washington, 31, CF, Derby, Undisclosed >>> Peter Kioso, 23, RB, Peterborough, Loan >>> Robbie Hemfrey, 21, GK, Released >>> Mackenzie Warne, 19, CF, Released

Manager: Matt Taylor No, not that one.

This Season: Looks difficult. Blackpool, Burton, Barnsley and Rotherham once before have all found that a survival against the odds in the first season after promotion isn’t necessarily the hard bit out of the way, and relegation peril can still lurk in year two.

I’m not sure I quite buy into this being the "toughest Championship for years” just because some of the abysmally run Premier League teams coming down are relatively big names, but with two of the three promoted teams from League One looking very good for survival it’s not a year to be poor, or shit.

Money for Ogbene would have helped, but he ran his contract down to a free move to Luton. Former Wycombe man Fred Onyedinma has effectively come the other way, but Ogbene and Fosu were absolutely brilliant on either wing in our 3-1 loss at the New York Stadium and that pace and threat will be sorely missed if not adequately replaced. Jordan Hugill often needs a few chances to score once, and luckily for him those two were providing that for a haul of five in 18 appearances (two against us, because of course) but where’s that supply line this time?

Viktor Johansson is arguably the best goalkeeper in this league, always outstanding against QPR and unreal at Loftus Road last August. He finally got an overdue Sweden call up for his efforts and him sticking around when there surely must be interest from elsewhere is a big plus. The defence in front of him, with our own brave boy Grant Hall now permanently added, looks ropey, and slow, to me though bar break out star Cameron Humphreys who’s being eyed by big spenders elsewhere.

One curious move has been the capture of Brazilian midfielder Cafu (not that one etc) from Nottingham Forest on a free transfer. Looked an odd fit for the Millers, and now the wrong side of 30, but his banger in a 3-0 win at fancied League One outfit Lincoln capped a fine personal start to life here. The locals who have chosen to read into pre-season – which can be a bit of a fool’s errand but with another win against Sheff Utd among the results who can blame them? - are purring.

The survival was secured despite a host of injury problems which they might reasonably expect to avoid this time. Sadly, though, there tends to be no better predictor of league finishes over time than salaries paid, and Rotherham are always going to be right down the bottom of that list in this league. Even pushing the boat out to the extent they did in January only secured a narrow survival. If they’re to do so again it’ll likely depend on loan signings still to come.

Local Knowledge — Ross Middleton @RossMidd30810197 "Last season was exhausting. We got over the line despite the millions of injuries we sustained so all in all a success. As ever, the ‘pundits’ predicted us to go down so to stay up with a game to spare was great. A change of manager didn’t help but the chance to have a good pre-season under Matt Taylor with his own staff, players and an upgrade of the facilities put us in a decent position going into the new season.

"Taylor’s a really impressive bloke. He had to work through a lot of issues last season in terms of the injuries sustained in every game and was backed in January and able to sign some good players. But like I said earlier he has demanded improvement from everyone in terms of the facilities/backroom staff and is not afraid to ask for what he wants (unlike the previous manager). He’s really bought in to the environment here and seems like a real personable bloke and his honesty is refreshing and was much needed.

"Our main loss was Chieo Ogbene but despite offering him a new contract we knew he would leave and good luck to him at Luton. A few others left but the players brought in look really good and we have retained certain players such as Sean Morrison and Tyler Blackett who have valuable Championship experience. Keep them fit and things look promising, with Taylor saying that we would never get players like Cafu if they had been fit and played regularly last season due to the competition from other clubs with much bigger budgets. We’ve brought in a couple of loanees such as Fred Onyedinma and really strengthened the backline. We’re close to signing Andre Green up front and the manager has identified two or three more players so things are coming along and the window is moving at a faster pace as the season (and September) gets closer.

"It will be tough and two or three weeks ago when we played Middlesbrough in a friendly I would have said we were miles away as the players looked really rusty and short of match practice. But the last 3 friendly wins against Sheffield United, Mansfield and Lincoln have seen great improvement (and no real injuries yet!) and good performances so I’m quietly confident we can use the pre-season predictions as a teamtalk and upset a few again this year. Again we’ll be aiming to finish out of the bottom three but I’m quietly confident that if we get the two or three more players we need and have a better season injury-wise, we could finish higher up the table. We’ve got a great spine to the squad and a good mixture of younger players and a number of experienced guys at this level so time will tell…”

Prediction: 23rd Look, we’re trying to find three worse teams than QPR here alright? And we did say this about them last season and were wrong.

Plymouth 2/1 (relegation odds)

Last Season: It was 2009/10 when Plymouth last graced the second tier – a young Jamie Mackie top scored for them that relegation year with eight. Six of the intervening years have been spent in League Two, and they twice finished as low as 21st in that division as the club listed badly amidst worsening financial problems.

It has been a steady upward curve since a buy-out by local businessman Simon Hallett in 2018. The redevelopment of Home Park has been finished and although they were relegated from League One to Two in his first season it’s been plain sailing ever since with promotion in 2020, finishes of 18th and then seventh in League One, and finally a title last year. It was the most difficult season ever to try and win that division, with Sheff Wed finishing third on a whopping 96 points, but Argyle managed it with 102 that kept Ipswich at bay despite their extraordinary run of 13 wins from the final 15 matches.

Ryan Lowe started the forward momentum here before moving onto Preston, but if anything things have got even better still since his former assistant Stephen Schumacher took the role on. I was fortunate enough to watch Argyle play Derby at home in March, a game in which they won 2-1. It was one of the highest quality games of football I saw anywhere in the EFL in 22/23, and Plymouth were one of the best teams I watched all year. Seriously impressive stuff and no surprise to me to see them go on to win nine of their last ten and all of their last six.

Of course we all fondly remember our days battling for promotion from that division alongside Paul Sturrock’s Green Army, united in our derision of the ever-cocky, ever-accident prone Bristol City of the time. Like our promoted team that year under Ian Holloway, Argyle did it without a run away top scorer but instead shared goals around – Ryan Hardie got 13, Niall Ennis 12, Morgan Whittaker nine, Finn Azaz and Sam Cosgrove eight and so on.

To win the title ahead of one team that gets 98 points and another who post 96 is remarkable, never achieved before and likely never seen again. It was also richly deserved.

Ins >>> Morgan Whittacker, 22, AM, Swansea, £1m >>> Bali Mumba, 21, RB, Norwich, £1m >>> Conor Hazard, 25, GK, Celtic, £175k >>> Julio Pleguezuelo, 26, CB, Twente, Free >>> Lewis Gibson, 21, CB, Everton, Free >>> Kaine Kesler-Hayden, 20, RB, Villa, Loan >>> Finn Azaz, 22, AM, Villa, Loan >>> Lewis Warrington, 20, CM, Everton, Loan

Outs >>> Niall Ennis, 24, CF, Blackburn, Free >>> Luke Jephcott, 23, CF, St Johnstone, Free >>> James Bolton, 28, RB, St Mirren, Free >>> Danny Mayor, 32, CM, Fleetwood, Free >>> Conor Grant, 28, CM, Port Vale, Free >>> James Wilson, 34, CB, Bristol Rovers, Free >>> Ryan Law, 23, LB, Truro, Free >>> Finley Craske, 20, RB, Torquay, Free >>> Will Jenkins-Davies, 18, CM, Torquay, Loan >>> Oscar Halls, 17, CB, Plymouth Parkway, Loan >>> Jack Endacott, 18, LB, Tiverton, Loan >>> Adam Parkes, 23, GK, Released >>> Brandon Pursall, 19, CB, Released

Manager: Stephen Schumacher Maybe it was Stephen Schumacher all along.

This Season: Here are the three problems Plymouth have straight away, and why they’re so many people’s tip to go down despite last season’s heroics.

Firstly, finance. While they’ve left their days of instability and worry behind thanks to Hallett’s careful custody of his local club, there isn’t a great deal to spend here. Euphoric and full of promotion cheer/beer, Schumacher was perhaps exaggerating when he claimed his club had done the whole League One title win on little more than £4m – that’s transfer fees, wages, accommodation, travel, food, the lot – but if it is anywhere close to that figure and they try and replicate it again in the Championship they’ll come rapidly unstuck. For comparison, QPR’s wage bill alone at the last set of accounts was kicking around the £28m mark, and Sheff Wed spent at least that in finishing third. Over time there are few better indicators of long term performance than salaries paid, so while Plymouth may be able to ride feel-good momentum to survival in year one, clubs operating on similarly stringy budgets like Blackpool, Rotherham, Barnsley, Wigan and Burton will tell them the Championship finds you out eventually.

Secondly, Plymouth’s success rate with their loan signings was insane. Sam Cosgrove from Birmingham, Finn Azaz from Aston Villa and Morgan Whittaker from Swansea scored 25 goals between them. Norwich right back Bali Mumba was a revelation. Wolves’ Nigel Lonwijk was a key part of the defence. Are you going to be able to replicate that sort of hit rate at a higher level? Villa’s 20-year-old right back Kaine Kesler-Hayden, Everton midfielder Lewis Warrington, and the return of Azaz are there first three of five swings this transfer window. Niall Ennis, second top scorer, has left on a free for Blackburn.

Thirdly, they were a good deal more porous at the back (47 conceded), and faced a hell of a lot more shots, than Ipswich and Sheff Wed. Goalkeeper Michael Cooper has been unreal for two seasons running, winning League One’s keeper of the year prize twice in a row. They won’t get away with that in this league, and Cooper starts the new term injured which is less than ideal.

There’s plenty of reason to think they’ll be absolutely fine though. Firstly, for reasons I simply cannot fathom, Norwich and Swansea have allowed both Mumba and Whittaker to move here permanently for £1m apiece. Sent them out to develop, they developed into two of the best players in League One, and so you sell them for a knockdown price - not like either Norwich or Swansea have great options in their positions either. Two great signings, that I’d absolutely have loved at QPR, and would have thought were all set for breakthroughs at their parent clubs in 23/24. Perhaps Plymouth crashing and burning will show what I know but that looks terrific business to me, and also suggests there will be a bit more cash to spend this time. Twente’s Julio Pleguezuelo moving here is one of those ‘how on earth have they got him?’ moments. Or, more to the point, where exactly were we on that free transfer of a player who wanted to be closer to London? Signing sodding Morgan Fox from Stoke is where. Sigh.

They’ve also, unlike Wednesday, done that thing of putting together a bright, enterprising, attractive young side that won’t need major surgery on its playing style or staff to compete in a more technical, skilful league. They looked a good deal better than the majority of Championship teams I’d seen last season, and if they keep playing like that they’ll bloody a few noses. It is, I’m afraid to say, another seriously smart, shrewd club, doing a lot more than we seem capable of doing, while spending far less. Having waved goodbye to Brighton, Brentford, Luton and others on their way past, the mood at QPR at the moment could well do without another one of them now appearing in green.

Local Knowledge — Argyle Life @ArgyleLife1886 "We owe an awful lot to the team behind the team - we’ve become an incredibly well run, self-sufficient club with a data-driven approach due to investing in key areas which allow us to punch well above our weight. Messieurs Hallett, Dewsnip, Parkinson, Dickinson, Turner, Ralph and, of course, Schumacher amongst so many others as a united collective have the club pulling in the right direction.

"I’m not sure I wholly agree with that train of thought that Schumacher was always the brains behind Lowe. I think Lowe - despite his faults and the way he left us - is still a great manager destined for big things. I think it’s similar to my previous answer, everyone at Argyle is currently pulling in the same direction and everyone’s ideas appear to be listened to. Those combined ideas, thoughts, processes, tactics, recruitment strategies are what have compelled us up through the leagues. That being said, I don’t think there is a better manager in the EFL for in-game changes both tactical and personnel. We scored 22 goals from substitutes, and regained 27 points from losing positions. If we fall behind, we believe we’ll still get something from the game. Schumacher is destined for great things, be that with us or elsewhere. His value can not be understated on this side. How he’s kept the squad happy while rotating beyond belief and still bagged 101 points on route to picking up the league title is incredible. If I was given the opportunity to swap him with any manager in the EFL, I’d politely decline.

"We’ve had an excellent summer, but we’re not yet done. I’d say we’re still a good five bodies away from a squad big enough to try and compete at this level. Two of last season’s best loanees, Morgan Whittaker and Bali Mumba, have returned on joint club-record permanent deals but we know what we’ll get from them. They’re both rapid, attack-minded players who contributed heavily to last season’s goals and assists - despite Mumba playing at WB. The one I’m most excited about is Julio Pleguezuelo; a ball-playing centre-back who turned down European football with FC Twente to become our first ever Spaniard. His highlights reel is filled with huge tackles, mazy dribbles and goals against the likes of Ajax and Feyenoord - on that evidence, we’ve come a long way from where we’ve been.

"There’s a few players with a point to prove at Championship level - the aforementioned Whittaker and Mumba were cast aside by Swansea and Norwich respectively while Callum Wright wasn’t part of Blackpool’s plans either. All three, on their day, have the potential to hurt defences. Keeping Michael Cooper, named League One’s GK of the Season two years on the bounce (despite competition from Bazunu and Trafford), is easily our best business. Although currently injured, he should be back in September.

"It’ll be interesting to see how we set up this season. We favoured a 5-2-2-1 for the majority of our title-winning campaign, however we appear to have switched to a 4-3-3 for all of our pre-season games - they’ve all gone well, except a 3-1 defeat to Swindon Town.

"I appreciate the mood within the fanbase is at an all-time high, but for me this season has to be about consolidation. We’ve spent a good 10-11 years away from the Championship, to go back down after one season would be heartbreaking. A few big scalps, a few close run games, weekly sell-outs at home and bleeding some youngsters - it’s not too much to ask, is it? We’re on an upward trajectory in all areas on and off the pitch, and should we be able to retain our second tier status I wouldn’t put it past us to be similar to Brighton, Brentford, Luton and continue that progression up towards the play-off places - in time.”

Prediction: 18th

Huddersfield 3/1 (relegation odds)

Last Season: They say refereeing mistakes even out over time, and if so watch out for Huddersfield this year because they’ve got some big stuff coming their way.

The decision to give Leeds-based pudding Jon Moss a game as important as the Championship play-off final as a retirement gift, given how he’d been refereeing over the prior few years, was a scandalously unprofessional piece of cronyism from the PGMOL, where Moss has slipped immediately into a cushy desk job. His beer shit blitzkrieg of the second half at Wembley, where Huddersfield had two stick-on penalties turned down despite the presence of VAR in a Championship game for the first time, denied the Terriers a promotion the remarkable work of Carlos Corberan in 21/22 would have richly deserved.

It also completely screwed them for 22/23. Premier League parachute payments now long gone, and last chance of a return to the big time robbed from them, a period of austerity and sales was inevitable. To rub salt in the wounds star names Lewis O’Brien and Harry Toffolo both moved to their Wembley conquerors Forest who, all too typically, decided they had no use for them anyway almost the moment they walked through the door and by January weren’t even including them in their 25-man squad. Amazing how often Steve Cooper deigns to lecture Blackburn, Sheff Wed and others on their treatment of his players in loan or transfer negotiations, "I know we’d never behave like that”, while also behaving exactly like that. Corberan, feeling the way the wind was blowing, walked out to join Olympiacos who are also owned by Forest’s chairman. It started to feel like a vendetta.

The Terriers have made some weird and wonderful managerial choices in recent times, and the decision to trust Danny Schofield with replacing one of the division’s best coaches was obviously bloody daft. He won one of his nine games in charge. Then came the many-accented Mark Fotheringham, who’d developed a handsome coaching reputation as Felix Magath’s cheese man over in Germany. Fotheringham looks and sounds like somebody’s asked Aardman Animations to create a character who’s spent 30 years cleaning out drains for the council. He won five of his 21 matches.

And so, with oh so much beautiful inevitability, it was time to fire up the band once more for the Fifteenth Annual Neil Warnock Farewell Tour. A man who talked about Crystal Palace and then QPR being his "last job in football” as far back as 2010 landed back at the club he last managed in 1995 on another rescue mission. Following spells with Rotherham, Cardiff and Middlesbrough I’m really starting to wonder whether Warnock likes Cornwall quite as much as he makes out. As ever there was a little line fired in the direction of W12 about how it would have to be a club he loved to tempt him out of retirement at this stage, such as Huddersfield… or QPR, who were circling the drain themselves at that point.

Initially this one looked to be beyond even his mercurial recovery powers – there were 4-0 defeats to Burnley and Coventry, and a 3-0 reducer against Stoke early doors. But, as everybody knew they would, Town started to motor just in time, beating Millwall, Boro and Watford in three consecutive games, and then repeating the dose against Cardiff, Sheff Utd and Reading in the final three. In the end, aided by Reading’s deduction, they finished eighteenth and nine points clear. And he said to Sharon he’d got his love back for the game. Again.

Ins >>> Chris Maxwell, 32, GK, Blackpool, Free >>> Tom Edwards, 24, RB, Stoke, Free

Outs >>> Etienne Camara, 20, DM, Udinese, £1.8m >>> Ryan Schofield, 23, GK, Pompey, Free >>> Matty Daly, 22, AM, Harrogate, Free >>> Romoney Crichlaw, 24, CB, Peterborough, Free >>> Danny Grant, 23, RW, Bohemians, Free >>> Duane Holmes, 28, AM, Preston, Undisclosed >>> Will Boyle, 27, CB, Wrexham, Undisclosed >>> Nicholas Bilokapic, 20, GK, Peterborough, Undisclosed >>> Tyreece Simpson, 21, CF, Northampton, Loan >>> Tomas Vaclik, 34, GK, Released >>> Florian Kamberi, 28, CF, Released >>> Rolando Aarons, 27, LW, Released

Manager: The Sixteenth Annual Neil Warnock Farewell Tour Sharon says we’re going again.

This Season: Warnock joined Huddersfield on February 13. In the 2015/16 season he arrived at apparently League One-bound Rotherham on February 11. The Millers also survived courtesy of two, separate quick-fire bursts of three consecutive wins. Warnock, though, did not stick around, and the following year was a disaster. That looked to be the narrative here at Huddersfield too – and, by narrative, I mean that’s what Neil Warnock himself was saying. Joking about being too old to do a full season, Uncle Neil insisted he’d be off back to his farm come May and just wait by the phone in February for another club on the bones of its arse to call him in. It’s never a surprise when Warnock goes back on something he’s said, nor when he takes his latest "last job in football”, they’ll end up carrying him out of a football ground in a box, but I must say I did raise half an eyebrow when he decided he was going to go around again for a full season at Huddersfield.

At one point in 22/23 there was talk stricken Town were going to dip into administration to make them a more attractive proposition for a new buyer, take the ten point deduction and inevitable relegation on the chin and prepare for life in League One. The finances here were not good. In the end Warnock’s rescue job gave them a fighting chance they didn’t believe they had, and now American Kevin Nagle has bought the club despite admitting he’d "never heard of the place” ten days beforehand.

It’s an odd squad this one. Certainly no shortage of bodies, thick end of 30 players still listed on their official website despite an exodus of 12 seniors, but a desperate lack of Championship quality. A lot of stodge basically, and not a lot of finance to do much about that. The two signings made so far – goalkeeper Chris Maxwell from Blackpool and right back Tom Edwards from Stoke – only add to that, rather than improve it.

There were bad, season-ending injuries to key men like excellent keeper Lee Nicholls and Japanese defender Yuta Nakayama just as he was about to head to the World Cup, so their returns will improve matters. Jack Rudoni from Wimbledon and Michal Helik from Barnsley were great captures last summer, and both remain and are raring to go again.

It looks like a slog at this point though. It’s a whole rebuild, rather than a rescue mission. You just wonder whether Warnock might regret not following through on his first idea of taking the summer and autumn off and then just popping up somewhere else next spring.

Local Knowledge — Brady Frost @Brady0894 "We were terrible for the majority of last season, most of the fan base had been preparing for life in League One for a while before Neil Warnock came in and then, well, you saw what happened. It was incredible because we looked dead and buried before the meme man arrived at Huddersfield and we finished the season with seven wins and four draws in our last 15 games. An incredible achievement and arguably Neil’s greatest survival story.

"We did a Twitter poll asking Huddersfield fans where they think The Terriers will finish and the outright winner was comfortably mid-table. I’m less positive at the time of writing, although the transfer window is still open so I’ll reserve judgement until then. There’s a lot of logic to appointing the man who, in the end, helped Town survive so comfortably, particularly as the club has been taken over by Kevin Nagle, an American businessman familiar with owning a sports team but new to English football. So, you can see why big changes are being made off the pitch, it makes sense to keep someone who is a ‘Championship survival guarantor’ - well as close as you can get to that anyway.

"Cards on the table, I didn’t want Neil Warnock this summer. That’s not because he didn’t do a fantastic job last season, he did, he transformed a miserable side and made them finish 18th and he deserves all the credit in the world and has cemented his name in Huddersfield Town folklore forever. This is a new era for the club; ideally, I wanted a long-term appointment to match, with whom we could build slowly - Michael Duff, the Barnsley manager who ended up joining Swansea, was linked and I could see the appeal. ‘What is a long-term appointment anyway?’ I can hear in retort to this but it does affect our strategy this season.

"My issue with having Warnock is it’s only a year contract. So what does that mean for signings? We’ve sold a lot of squad players, that’s fine but you’re recruiting for a manager who plays a certain way, who is only going to be here for a year; does that affect your chances of buying a player who wants a three-year deal when they have no idea who’s going to be the manager this time next year? I can see the logic in appointing Warnock as mentioned in my previous answer and I suppose the new ownership had to given what he did, but it feels like the club is just kicking the can down the road and we’ll be in a similar position this time next year. In fairness, a new ownership is getting its feet under the table so this is largely influenced by what the next step is after Warnock.

"Chris Maxwell, a free agent goalkeeper from Blackpool who’s going to be our second-choice goalkeeper has come in. Also Tom Edwards, a right back on loan from Stoke City. It’s fair to say not the most exciting so far but there’s still a month in the window to go so we’ll see what happens. A striker has been flagged as the top priority all summer by the manager and it is desperately needed, but we need a quality addition in midfield too, possibly another winger after that. It’s important that these are going to improve the first team rather than make up the numbers, otherwise I think we’ll struggle even with Warnock’s magic.

"At the time of writing without those quality additions, it’s hard to see much more than another relegation scrap. We ended up finishing 18th last season on 53 points and I’d be surprised if we did much better than that. If we do get those quality additions, then I think it could easily transform expectations but we’ll have to wait and see.”

Prediction: 22nd But, then, who you putting your money on – Warnock, or our rabble?

Sheff Wed 4/1 (relegation odds)

Last Season: League One got completely out of hand. Plymouth won it with 101 points, Ipswich runners up with 98. Sheff Wed’s final total of 96 would have been enough for automatic promotion in every EFL division in every previous year in history. Two years prior Blackpool went up with 16 fewer.

Wednesday, at one point, didn’t lose for 23 league games. There were four separate three-game winning runs, one of four, one of five, and one of six wins in a row. When they rattled off successive victories against Morecambe, MK Dons, Charlton, Peterborough and Portsmouth (with four clean sheets into the bargain) as February turned to March it looked like they were going to absolutely piss it. Their wobble – and we’re only talking four draws and two defeats in six through March – occurred just when Plymouth and Ipswich were putting record breaking after-burners on. Despite winning five of the last six it left the Owls with a play-off semi-final with a Peterborough side that finished 19 points shy of them over the 46 games.

What happened next has never happened before, and will never happen again. In the first leg, at London Road, Wednesday imploded with such nuclear force the dosimeters were twitching as far away as the Baltic Sea. A 4-0 defeat, which could have been five or six, summed up perfectly by the performance of goalkeeper Cameron Dawson – so brilliantly reliable all the way through, and now suddenly playing like Tony Roberts on some bad acid. Afterwards Darren Moore gave a post-match interview so riddled with the worst kind of "we go again #backstronger” modern football clichés it started to sound like he hadn’t been at the game. Certainly not the game I watched anyway. And, so, pissed off for my Wednesday supporting mate, I fired off a Tweet slating him, and football in general, for this PR-driven approach to communicating with its paying customer. All carefully worded corporate statements, like you’ve just dumped a load of oil into a coastal fishery and you’re trying to convey sadness about all the dead animals and destroyed livelihoods without publicly accepting legal responsibility.

Didn’t we all look fucking stupid? Moore, and Wednesday, roared back in the second leg to not only overcome the 4-0 aggregate disadvantage with an equaliser two minutes past the allotted added time (any typical-Ferguson-family bitching and moaning about the timekeeping offset by Darren’s own decision to try and shithouse the game away against a team they’d shown themselves a week before, and in one of the league meetings, well capable of beating) but also Posh retaking the lead in extra time. After that comeback it was no surprise to see a flying broomstick performance by Barnsley’s loaned goalkeeper Harry Isted at Wembley finally undone by Josh Windass in the very final second of extra time. Sometimes it is written.

Ins >>> Pol Valentin, 26, RB, Sporting Gijon, £250k >>> Di’Shon Bernard, 21, CB, Man Utd, Free >>> Juan Delgado, 30, RB, Football Manager Regen, Undisclosed >>> Reece James’ Non Union Mexican Equivalent, 29, LB, Blackpool, Undisclosed >>> Ashley Fletcher, 27, Fuck Me, Watford, Loan

Outs >>> Fisayo Dele-Bashiru, 22, CM, Hatayspor, Free >>> Jaden Brown, 24, LB, Lincoln, Free >>> David Stockdale, 37, Big Fat Goalie, York, Free >>> Dennis Adeniran, 24, CM, Released >>> Ben Heneghan, 29, CB, Released >>> Jack Hunt, 32, RB, Released

Manager: Xisco Munoz Managed Watford. Mind you, so has everybody else. My turn soon.

This Season: And then somebody woke fucking Derek Chansiri up didn’t they? Fuck me, sit yourselves down kids.

We’ve spoken already, in the Ipswich and Sunderland sections of the preview, about how the differing FFP rules between Championship and League One mean it’s imperative you do your spending and your squad building for the second tier while you’re in the third. Put a young, vibrant, exciting team together under a good manager in the league where losses can simply be written off by the owner and not count, then when you do get into the higher league all you need is one or two trinkets, possibly on loan, to finish decorating the tree. Wednesday, like Wigan before them and Derby since, didn’t like the sound of that one bit. Having ended up relegated in the first place by chucking ridiculous money at extortionate wages for people you’d heard of, they just did exactly the same all over again. Aden Flint, Lee Gregory, Barry Bannan, Josh Windass, Will Vaulks, Dominic Iorfa… Plymouth say they spent £4.2m on everything, including wages, transfer fees, and travel expenses. Estimates on Wednesday’s wage bill alone approach £30m. And all of it on a slow, ageing, cumbersome outfit revolving entirely around Bannan and wholly unsuited to the league above.

An overhaul is now needed, but there’s no FFP headroom to do it. They’ve essentially spent two years downstairs to bring the same team and situation that got them relegated in the first place back with them. Chansiri’s back down The Moor peddling his multi-year tickets again trying to clear some capital – a ten-year season ticket, which only starts counting down once they’re in the top flight, yours for £8,000 and they’ll even let you have a picture with the Premier League trophy when they win it. Small catch, they can’t get the insurance to process £8,000 card payments at the box office so you’ll have to take a large holdall stuffed with non-sequential cash down there on your lunchbreak. You’ll need nearly that to get into the away end this year, where tickets are retailing up to just shy of £60.

Moore is gone. Chansiri published an article so ridiculously long and rambling on the Wednesday official website I was amazed they hadn’t copied and pasted it from here. Essentially Moore wanted a big pay rise. The only thing you can say in the megalomaniac club destroyer’s favour is that Moore – at West Brom and at Doncaster previously – does do a nice line in leaving a job just before the shit hits the fan with his reputation enhanced and everybody else taking the blame. Wednesday began pre-season with 14 contracted players, no manager, no coaches, no fitness staff, no recruitment or scouting heads…

Into that chaotic vacuum has ridden a couple of headless horsemen. Xisco Munoz previously managed at this level with Watford, which says to me here is a chap who can sniff out an opportunity to earn a few months of easy money and a chunky pay off for a sacking the rest of the sport will immediately discount because the owner’s a 64 carat mentalist. He’s never completed an entire season at one club, and sat quietly by while the chairman turned his unveiling into a prolonged rant about Carlton Palmer (hit Les, demand it Les, perhaps he hasn’t heard you). More damning still, the miracle-working agent of Ashley Fletcher has once again found a Championship outfit desperate, stupid and clueless enough to collude in the allusion that his client is a professional footballer and pay him accordingly. That signing, more than anything else that’s happened at Hillsborough this summer, surely a sign of a coming apocalypse.

Local Knowledge — Lovely Jon @J_Ho9 "Last season started pretty well, was amazing for ages, then went shit, and finished unbelievably. For 95% of it, it was one of those that makes League One fun because we actually won lots of games of football. There was a 23-game unbeaten run, new interesting grounds to visit, we beat Newcastle in the cup, and the fans were feeling a connection with the club that had been missing for years. From January to the end of March we seemed invincible - a big nasty well-oiled machine that won when it played well and won when it didn’t. The football wasn’t always thrilling, but who really cares when you’re winning?

"And then the wheels fell off. Barry Bannan gets a lot of the plaudits in our midfield, and he’s brilliant, but George Byers is a great little player and made Moore’s system tick. Him and Josh Windass got injured at the same time and the whole thing went to shit very quickly. A run of one win in eight while Plymouth and Ipswich just kept winning and winning and winning meant we went from seven points clear of third with two games in hand, to somehow finishing third on 96 points - easily a record points total for a team finishing outside the automatics in the EFL. In the middle of that run we even managed to lose to Forest Green in what was their only win in their last 26 league games. Not getting automatic promotion felt cruel, and then we got battered 4-0 to a younger, faster Peterborough team in the first leg of the playoffs it looked like a season that had promised so much was going to end up being remembered for all the wrong reasons. I don’t think I’ve ever felt as bad after a game as I did after that first leg.

"Somehow they managed to turn it around and give us probably the best two weeks of being a Wednesday fan we’ve ever had or will ever have again. It’s mental that we won the playoff final in the 123rd minute and you could argue that it wasn’t even the best moment of our playoffs. So ultimately the goal of getting promotion was achieved in the best but most unimaginable way possible.

"It looks like it genuinely might have been a mutual parting of ways with Darren Moore but we’re never going to know the whole story. The official line from the chairman, who initially said he wasn’t going to tell the world but just couldn’t help himself, was Darren had asked for four times his salary on a three-year deal. He didn’t think he was worth that so they agreed to go separate ways. No idea what his salary was beforehand but I can’t imagine it was anything more than a below average Championship salary, so it doesn’t seem a completely unreasonable ask. Certainly not one that bit of negotiation couldn’t have solved to stop us blowing the whole thing up. I suspect it might end up being a bit of a blessing in disguise for Moore. The chairman has been making noises about a top six challenge, so better for him to go now with promotion and a record points total in the bag, and avoid being sacked later down the line because he’s not meeting Chansiri’s unrealistic expectations. It came completely out of the blue and at the worst possible time though. I was hopeful with him in charge and the optimism and momentum from last season, a core of decent experienced Championship players, the players’ familiarity with his methods and system, and a few new signings with legs and a bit of pace, that we’d be ok this season. I think that continuity would have taken us a long way but that’s all out the window now, and with a new manager and very little in the way of recruitment so far, I’m a lot more pessimistic than I was.

"Overall, just really sad to see him go though because he’s obviously an absolutely brilliant bloke who everyone in the game has a lot of time for. He galvanised the whole club after the relegation to League One, brought a fractured dressing room back together and restored the connection between the fans and club that was broken. There were times, even last season when he got a lot of stick, most of it unfair in my opinion, and some of it just ridiculous, but always conducted himself with class and dignity.

"Before Darren Moore, Chansiri had bounced between appointing random foreign blokes (Carvalhal, Luhukay (who?) and washed up old duffers off the English merry-go-round (Bruce, Monk, Pulis). He’s gone back down the overseas route and appointed Xisco, who people of a certain age might remember from Champ Manager back in the day. He does have Championship experience but no-one will remember it because he was one of the 34,723 managers that Watford have been through in the Pozzo era. Outside of that he’s had a short-lived spells in Georgia, Cyprus, and Spain but never done a full season in a job, so I think it’s fair to say the jury is still out on his managerial career and this is a really good chance for him to prove himself and build something longer term at a club. On first impressions, I like him. I’m not judging his football until the end of the window when he’s got some more players in, but I like the cut of his jib, he seems a really upbeat and positive character, and from what Watford fans have said he’s the sort of person who will bring some of the intangibles that Moore did in the ability to forge a tight-knit group and bring the fanbase and the dressing room together.

"In terms of style and philosophy though he seems worlds apart from Moore. We’re going from a manager who preferred a pretty conservative and direct 3-5-2 with at least one target man, to a guy that wants to play 4-3-3/4-2-3-1 pass it out from the back and make the most of ‘transitions’. We don’t have a squad built for this style because we lack the pace needed to counter attack effectively and our defenders aren’t the most comfortable on the ball, so it’s looking like a massive overhaul of the squad is needed. This isn’t really a problem if we’re going to see a change of direction from the chairman with some sort of strategy to appoint that profile of manager going forward. Unfortunately, from his past record there’s nothing to suggest that he really has a plan or any strategy when it comes to appointing managers, so it’s quite likely we’ll be having this conversation again when we play you in April and we’ll have a different manager and he won’t suit the players we’ve brought in for this one.

"I regret to report that the chairman is indeed having another mental one. At the end of last season there was a massive feel-good factor around the club, the fans were riding a wave of optimism and it looked like we’d be flying into the season with loads of momentum. Within about three weeks he’d managed to suck it all away and it was honestly amazing that he managed to do it so quickly. It’s been an exercise in absolutely horrendous PR.

"It wasn’t just Moore’s departure, it’s just been a summer of one thing after another with complete disregard for the fans. Season ticket prices have gone up again and are the highest in the division. There are also far too many buying phases which makes the whole thing way more complicated than it should/needs to be. The new pay on the gate prices are also extortionate and come in a ludicrous seven different categories so that he can charge more if we’re winning and less if we’re not. The whacky 10-year season ticket deal, in which you pay up to £8,000 (no debit or credit cards allowed) and get a 10-year ticket that only starts when we get promoted to the Premier League (all seasons before are 'free') has been rolled back out, which if we ignore the optimism of the whole thing brings some fundamental questions about the desperation for cash flow into the business.

"The fans forum ended up being a bit of a car crash because the way he talks generally about the fans shows a complete lack of acknowledgement or appreciation for their support, and a wider ignorance of the state of this country’s economy. The rhetoric is always about the fans needing to give more despite us having 20k season ticket holders and some of the best matchday revenues in the league.

"The head of recruitment fucked of to Blackpool and we haven’t replaced him at a time when we need about ten new bodies through the door to give us a fighting chance next season and having someone in charge of recruitment might be really quite useful.

"Chansiri said he wasn’t going to reveal the reasons for Moore’s departure out of respect but managed to last about four days before plastering a statement on the club website. This then led to him turning Xisco’s introductory press conference with the nation’s press into a slightly unhinged rant about Carlton Palmer who’d suggested that Chansiri might not be telling the whole truth about what happened with Moore.

"All this needs to be framed in the context that we’d never have been relegated in the first place if his fucking up of the ground sale FFP workaround hadn’t got us six points deducted. He’s kept his head low for the last two years and let Moore get on with the job, and it worked, and the club seemed from the outside to be heading in the right direction off the pitch so it’s actually quite sad to be back in this position now. We’re never going to see meaningful progress while he’s the owner because he’s proven that he can’t run a football club but is too stubborn to admit it and appoint a director of football to do it for him.

"With the change of manager and playing style, the slow start to recruitment, and the Championship looking as tough as it has done in years, it’s hard not to be a bit pessimistic. We’ve got a core of decent Championship players - Bannan, Byers, Windass, Iorfa, Palmer - but we’re an old team with no real depth outside the first XI so there’s a lot of work to do to put together a squad that can play the way the manager wants to and consistently perform at this level. There’s no getting away from the fact that we’re going into the season underprepared, and at the very least there’s going to be some short-term pain whilst Xisco looks to overhaul the squad and embed his style of play. Also, even if we had the players, no-one really knows if Xisco-ball is as sexy as it sounds or just one of those examples of a team trying to play ‘the right way’ without any real plan of how to do it.

"Whatever happens, recruitment and adapting to the new style is going to take time, so if we get anything other than a relegation battle I'd be delighted. At the moment it’s definitely a case of trying to find three teams worse than us (thanks QPR) (bastard – ed) and I’d absolutely take 21st and a season of restructuring the squad now. I’m just not massively confident that if this is what happens that Xisco would be around to see the season out. The fans at Hillsborough aren’t known for their patience and if results are iffy I'm doubtful he’ll get the time to implement what he wants to do before the crowd starts turning, even if there are signs that things are improving. Couple that with Chansiri’s expectations, and the fact that he hasn’t actually seen a full season out at a club, and the odds aren’t really in his favour.

"The budget is obviously pretty tight and the squad needs an injection of youth, pace, energy, and technical ability. So far we’ve signed a Chilean international winger, Juan Delgado, and Pol Valentin, a right back from the Spanish second division. Not exactly household names but the relaxed work permit rules mean we can explore the foreign market a bit more so I'm hopeful that Xisco can use his knowledge of that to pick up some cheap gems.”

Prediction: 24th You want hope and optimism for QPR this season? Here it is.

Cardiff 4/1 (relegation odds)

Last Season: The decision to not only award a penalty against Jack Simpson for fouling Sinclair Armstrong but also to send him off seemed particularly harsh when Cardiff were last at Loftus Road. That said, Mick Beale’s QPR had been comprehensively pounding them for the 20 minutes before that, and quickly pulled off into the distance with a 3-0 win that sent the R’s top of the table. By the return fixture Beale had walked out, Neil Critchley was in situ, Rangers were a shadow of their former selves, and a freefall down the table that would eventually last the best part of six months was well in motion. What hadn’t changed, though, was Cardiff – easily the worst team we played across two league games in 22/23.

One of the summer’s highlights was watching this half of South Wales work themselves up into a frantic foamy lather over the absolute racing certainty that Gareth Bale was desperate to come here and finish his career slogging through Tuesday night trips to Middlesbrough rather than ease down into retirement on the golf courses of California. Bale, apparently, is the only person within 300 miles of Cardiff who owns a dark Ranger Rover, so whenever one turned up in the club car park the manic circle jerk started in furious earnest. All the great Twitter characters were here — the "freelance journalist”, the ”bored intermediary”, the "secret agent”, the Fifa Ultimate Teams bois — and they all knew somebody in Bale’s extended family. Don’t believe them? Have this screenshot from the FlightRadar24 app of a light aircraft moving from somewhere vaguely Spain to somewhere vaguely southern half of the UK. What about that then? Eh? May as well get the monkey heed tattoos booked in now lads, because there’ll be a rush on later.

Steve Morison was the manager to begin with, and Steve Morison likes to spend large amounts of time talking in depth about all the great ideas Steve Morison has had for Steve Morison’s team. One of Steve Morison’s great ideas for Steve Morison’s team was to make 14 new signings last summer. Bale not among them – can’t believe it. Five defeats and two wins from the first nine games probably not unexpected after such an overhaul but when he finally won a third game up at Middlesbrough they sacked him for it. That’s right guys, it’s another British football club being ragged around like a stuffed toy by a batshit foreign owner. Morison has since pitched up as manager of Hornchurch in the Isthmian League which is something of a surprise, not least because I half expected him to still be up in Middlesbrough boring the press corps to death about how his genius secured a 3-2 win at the Riverside.

Next, for 20 minutes or so, came Mark Hudson. Four wins in 18 games later the anguish his sacking caused his teenage son was captured in detail by Mrs Hudson and pedalled publicly for Tik Tok clout.

It was then left to former Forest boss Sabri Lamouchi to keep the relegation wolf from the door, and with six wins from the final 18 fixtures he just about did that despite Cardiff losing seven of their last 13 and only winning three of the last 18 home games. They were fortunate, I thought. Looked a really poor side and stayed up only courtesy of Reading’s points deduction. Lamouchi was rewarded for his efforts with a trip through the exit door too.

Ins >>> Aaron Ramsey, 32, AM, Nice, Free >>> Dimitrious Goutas, 29, Sivasspor, Free >>> Yakou Meite, 27, LW, Reading, Free >>> Karlan Grant, 25, CF, West Brom, Loan >>> Ike Ugbo, 24, CF, Troyes, Loan >>> Josh Bowler, 24, RW, Forest, Loan

Outs >>> Mark Harris, 24, CF, Oxford, Free >>> Gavin Whyte, 27, RW, Portsmouth, Free >>> Dillon Phillips, 28, GK, Rotherham, Free >>> Tom Sang, 24, RB, Port Vale, Free >>> Max Watters, 24, CF, Barnsley, Undisclosed >>> Ollie Denham, 21, CB, Dundee Utd, Loan >>> Eli King, 20, DM, Morecambe, Loan >>> Connor Wickham, 30, CF, Free

Manager: Erol Bulut Four jobs in three years, these two are going to get on great.

This Season: It’s been another summer of amateur air traffic controlling, peering through the tinted windows of mysterious Range Rovers, and enhancing the appearance of your micro-penis by pretending to be a football agent or freelance journalist on Twitter. The subject of the furore this time was Aaron Ramsey, and Cardiff have managed to get it over the line on a free transfer from Nice. They’ve chucked his son into their academy too for good measure, although he’s only seven. Now, if you’ve had the misfortune to see much of Rob Page’s Wales of late – recently dicked 4-2 at home by Armenia – you may be labouring under the impression that Aaron Ramsey’s actually a bit shite these days. Nevertheless, they’re all jolly excited about the prospect of him playing for his hometown team for the first time since 2011, and I guess when we’re out here trying to convince ourselves Jack Colback might not be a terrible idea we can’t really talk can we?

He'll be managed, at least to begin with, by German-born Turk Erol Bulut. At one stage the rumour was Steve Morison was going to come back into the job for a second time and start talking at length about all Steve Morison’s brilliant ideas again, which would have just written itself, but no instead they’ve given us this bad Scrabble hand to try and research. As a player he divided his career between Germany, Turkey and Greece, winning a league and cup with Fenerbahce, and consecutive league titles with Olympiacos. As a manager he’s forged something of a reputation for doing stuff with not a lot – fifth place in the Turkish Super Lig and a Europa League campaign with Yeni Malatyaspor, and then a cup final and more European adventures with Alyanaspor. He was then given the big gig back at Fener, and clocked a win percentage over 60%, but first is first and second is nowhere in that job and with them eventually finishing third in 2021 behind bitter rivals Galatasaray and champions Besiktas he was binned off. He’s used his knowledge of the Turkish leagues to add monstrous Greek centre back Dimitrious Goutas to a defence regaining Jamilou Collins, after his season ended just four games in last time out, alongside Big Dick Ng.

As ever with Cardiff there’s a whole clutch of ins and outs. Another six arrivals to date rather makes a mockery of their "transfer embargo” which forbids them paying a fee for a player until January next year over their fairly despicable attempts to avoid paying Nantes for the late Emiliano Sala. A new look strike force of Karlan Grant on loan from West Brom, Yakou Meite from the disaster zone at Reading, and 24-year-old Ike Ugbo whose career already includes stints with Chelsea, Scunthorpe, Roda, Genk and Troyes, will hope to improve on last season’s 41 goals scored which was the league’s worst total apart from relegated Wigan. Mark Harris has gone and started life at Oxford by running a sword through our pathetic defence at the weekend, they’ve given up on the idea of Max Watters and shifted him to Barnsley, and Gavin Whyte is now with Pompey. Josh Bowler’s ongoing attempts to deliberately transfer himself away from any slim chance of ever playing first team football have been dealt a blow this week with a loan here where he’ll presumably be expected to turn out occasionally wide on the right.

After finishes of 18th and 21st there’s very little love around for Cardiff in this summer’s season previews and predictions. With the Sala tragedy finally settled by Fifa and Cardiff ordered to pay the remaining balance of the transfer, plus the arrival of Ramsey, there’s a good deal of consternation at clubs like ours about how exactly this all fits within FFP. The manager is an unknown quantity on these shores and the owner’s another megalomaniac idiot. But in South Wales, buoyed by the returning Ramsey, there’s actually a deal of optimism around for the first time in a while.

Local Knowledge — Phil Bushby @bushby_p "It is fair to say that there is a lot of optimism amongst Cardiff fans. Whilst I was disappointed that Lamouchi left (he brought some structure back to the side), he has been quickly forgotten in the excitement of what has happened since.

"Bulut looks the part and seems to mean business. The club has backed him with some good signings especially up front and at centre back. Also getting Jamilu Collins and Ebou Adams back from season long injuries is fantastic. I liked the look of Collins at the start of last season but we never really sorted out the left side of defence when he got injured. With Collins back, we will be better balanced in defence which will allow O'Dowda to get forward more.

"Ramsey is of course the stand out signing. It is good for morale but we should not base our hopes on him. He will have a great impact but will not be there week in week out over a 46 game season. Transfer business has been good despite the ban. I am sure this season will be better than the past two seasons. Let's be honest, we should have gone down last year. If it wasn't for Reading's point deduction we would be in League One.

"I think we could do with another midfielder and wide player. Possibly a striker but I would prioritize midfield and winger over a striker.”

Prediction: 20th Not for me Clive.

Birmingham 4/1 (relegation odds)

Last Season: The Blues were our tip for bottom spot this time a year ago and that they survived comfortably in seventeenth is testament to the burgeoning managerial talents of John Eustace – who QPR let leave because of Honest Mick’s PowerPoint presentation. There was a dip in the middle when players were injured, and some criticism of an at times staid style of football, but let’s look back 12 months to the state Brum were in at this point.

Over the last six seasons Birmingham have finished 19th, 19th, 17th, 20th, 18th, 20th, 17th. This was never likely to improve under the catastrophic ownership of Hong Kong’s Super Happy Fun Time Ltd who had overseen the collapse of the club’s finances, team and stadium. Sooner or later one of their near scrapes with the bottom three would inevitably end in relegation and with just 16 fit players to choose three weeks out from the start of 22/23, and even Eustace himself admitting a tough task lay ahead, this felt like the one.

There was that amazing moment when former Watford chancer Laurence Bassini pulled his button mushroom out the back of his favourite Thai ladyboy long enough to appear on TalkSport with a BIG ANNOUNCEMENT to make, which he’ll make in a minute, because that’s what he’s come on to do, to make a big announcement, which is coming, but first, before the big announcement, that he’s here to make, and will be making, he just wants to say something to Simon Jordan prior to the big announcement, which he’s here to make, and will make, once he’s told Simon this thing related to the big announcement he’s going to make in a minute after he’s told Simon something… After a quarter of an hour of that it transpired that he was buying Birmingham, for £30m, or something like that, and then would be buying players, because he owns half of Oxford Street you know, and he’d be winning the league, so he could come back on TalkSport and give it to Jordan, who’s always taken the piss out of him, but wouldn’t be taking the piss now, because of the big announcement, which he did eventually make, but didn’t turn out to be true.

What, in actual fact, had happened was former Argentinean footballer Maxi Lopez and serial club killer Matt Southall had taken over the club, started running it, making signings, paying themselves consultancy fees, sorting themselves out with another couple of white Land Rovers, without officially taking it over, paying any money for it, or letting the EFL know. Can’t fail the fit and proper owner test if you’re not actually the owner at all can you? Smart stuff. The EFL were absolutely fuming about this. Livid. So outrageously angry in fact that they immediately convened a disciplinary hearing about the whole thing which delivered swift and prompt justice with a verdict just nine months later and a two point deduction suspended for a year. That’ll learn ‘em.

Eustace, though, got the team going. They played the loan market very well. Dion Sanderson was a disasterclass at QPR but fits well here, Krystian Bielik would be playing Premier League if he could go 20 minutes without snapping his leg, Auston Trusty was a decent pick up from Arsenal, likewise Emmanuel Longelo from West Ham. Throw in the hairy Man Utd pair of one-man wrecking ball Hannibal Mejbri (I’ll still never know how he wasn’t sent off against us at St Andrew’s) and Tahith Chong and that’s a pretty decent collection assembled at the last minute on a shoestring budget. So much so that there have been question marks about whether Brum should actually have done a bit better. It’s not one I subscribe to, Eustace did brilliantly.

Ins >>> Dion Sanderson, 23, CB, Wolves, £2m >>> Lee Buchanan, 22, LB, Werder Bremen, £1m >>> Ethan Laird, 22, RB, Man Utd, £700k >>> Krystian Bielik, 25, CM, Derby, £500k >>> Tyler Roberts, 24, Tart, Leeds, £500k >>> Koji Miyoshi, 26, AM, Antwerp, Free >>> Keshi Anderson, 28, AM, Blackpool, Free >>> Sirki Dembele, 26, LW, Bournemouth, Undisclosed

Outs >>> Tahith Chong, 23, AM, Luton, £5m >>> Jobe Bellingham, 17, CM, Sunderland, £1.5m >>> Maxime Colin, 31, RB, Metz, Free >>> George Friend, 35, LB, Bristol Rovers, Free >>> Nico Gordon, 21, CB, Solihul Moors, Loan >>> Harlee Dean, 31, Meathead, Released >>> Troy Deeney, 35, CF, Released >>> Jordan Graham, 28, RW, Released

Manager: John Eustace Thicken up that Birmingham wage bill by stirring in a spoonful of Laird.

This Season: A new owner. At last. Few clubs needed one more. American Tom Wagner has immediately set about blitzing the place, getting the stadium back up to spec and fully open, and communicating with the supporters like grown ups in 2023 rather than comrades in 1980s Soviet Russia.

As we know, having a multi-millionaire owner means nothing in the world of FFP, but they’ve received a couple of timely boosts with the sell-on clause on Jude Bellingham’s move to Real Madrid, and around £6m brought in through a quick turnaround profit on Chong going to Luton, and Bellingham the Younger heading to Sunderland. With those funds they’ve moved quickly in the summer transfer market with a collection of deals that have marked them out as a dark horse for many a Championship watcher.

Previously it’s been about loans, free transfers and stop gaps to try and stay in the league with no money to spend. They’re now starting to be ushered off towards the glue factory: Brain of Britain Harlee Dean is yet to secure a club; George Friend will go around again at Bristol Rovers; Maxime Colin is back in France; and Troy Deeney is doing a nice line in fantastical third person podcast stories about how Wenger told Troy he wanted Troy at Arsenal but was worried about Troy surpassing Thierry Henry’s goalscoring record and wrecking a club legend and so Troy didn’t get Troy move to Arsenal in the end but it was definitely happening honest.

Now it’s very much a focus on building an exciting, vibrant team of early and mid-20 players with high development ceilings and plenty of growth left in them. Dion Sanderson, Lee Buchanan, Ethan Laird, Tyler Roberts, Krystian Bielik, Siriki Dembele, Keshi Anderson and Koji Miyoshi were all brought in double lively, all on permanent deals, and for less than they received for Chong and Bellingham. It’s set a few tongues wagging. The capture of Derby academy graduate Buchanan, in particular, for £1m after 21 outings in the Bundesliga at Werder Bremen, looks super shrewd and the prospect of him and Ethan Laird bombing on from both wing back positions should excite Blues fans. Dembele was unlucky, or perhaps naïve, to get caught up in Scott Parker’s annual January "get me six more players or else” nonsense at Bournemouth and deserves a chance to excel at this level at a club that will actually pick him.

A couple of caveats to all of this. Chong and Hannibal were very influential in the Blues midfield last year, and both will be missed - though they'll save a bundle in drain cleaner now. Also to get players at these ages and prices, Brum are having to take one or two chances on people. Many of them have chequered injury records. Bielik, for instance, will be an absolute steal for that money if he stays fit, but we said the same of him at Derby and the 35 starts he managed last year was by miles and miles the most he’s ever done in his whole career. Ethan Laird is another who looks cheap at twice that price, but as we found ourselves he’s a good time guy – all funny little clown dances and bombing on down the wing when the team’s doing well, all refusal to track back and suspiciously timed "tight hamstrings” the moment things get a little tough. Tyler Roberts didn’t even wait for the going to get difficult at QPR before checking out and moping about like a obnoxious twat.

It's still an enormous opportunity for Eustace to show what he can really do, although conversely if he hits another rocky patch with form and injuries mid-season don’t expect there to be anywhere near as much sympathy or as many excuses for staid, boring football and poor results.

Local Knowledge — Matt Elliott @MatthewBlue1875 "Last season was more comfortable than originally expected. Which is strange to say considering we finished 17th. We had a good start, played some effective football and flirted with the top ten prior to the World Cup break. Afterwards the wheels came off a bit. We saw a drop in form from a few players and injuries started to mount up. The football became very pedestrian and turgid and we were struggling to pick up points. Eventually we managed to pick up a few results and found ourselves safe with games to spare.

"Personally, I like Eustace. He achieved his target of keeping the club up last season, even if it wasn’t very pretty at times. As a person he seems like a good honest guy and all the noises we hear suggest the players all like him and buy into what he wants to do. That said, there is a portion of the fan base that aren’t impressed. I can understand where they are coming from on that point, because at sometimes last season, the football was absolutely awful and it felt like we had no plan at all other than try not to lose. I genuinely think we’ve only just scratched the surface with Eustace though. I truly believe he wants to play a more forward thinking and attractive brand of football, he now has more of the tools to do that and I’m excited to see what he can get out of this very different squad of players.

"We’re only two and a bit weeks into the new ownership, but the difference is night and day. I can’t stress enough how different things look and feel already. All we ever wanted was competency, after the mismanagement and neglect of the last ten years. Tom Wagner and his team have come in and already started to make a difference. Even the statements and communications they’re putting out are far more professional. They’re exploring different revenue streams and getting some new and exciting partners on board with the club, it’s just fantastic to see. The issues with the stadium are not only being fixed now, but we’re essentially getting a full refurb. Their plan is to move us and build a new stadium, but while we continue at St. Andrews, it’s clear they want a stadium to be proud of. I’m so giddy with it to be perfectly honest. I’m so close to getting Tom Wagner’s face tattooed on my chest and stomach… I’m your biggest fan Tom!

"We essentially had 11 players leave if you include the loans, so it was going to be a big summer of change whatever happened. I’m totally gobsmacked at the business we’ve done though. Nine players in so far and not a single loan. We’ve obviously been helped by Jude Bellingham’s sell on and Tahith Chong’s move to Luton, but the club still need to be careful with regards to FFP. So they’ve agreed sensible deals and haven’t over paid on fees or wages. We’ve brought three former loans back in Long, Bielik and Sanderson. We’ve added pace, creativity and versatility with players like Roberts, Miyoshi, Anderson and Dembele. The youthful fullback pairing of Ethan Laird and Lee Buchanan appear to be two great bits of business too. My only concern is a number of these players do have a history of injuries, so we’ve got to hope for a bit of luck there. Anyway the recruitment team aren’t finished yet, but they’ve done an excellent job so far in addressing most of the needs. I’d say we’re still a centre-back, centre midfielder and striker away from having a competitive squad, but the signs are very promising.

"Birmingham as dark horses? Wild. Absolutely wild. There’s still work to do though and all these players have to gel, which will take time. Personally I’m all for consolidation, mid table mediocrity.. we’ve spent too long circling the plug hole for this to be straight forward. It’s nice to think we aren’t being tipped as relegation candidates for once though.

"We’re sponsored by Undefeated for a reason… Seriously though. 10th-12th. Better quality of football is needed and I expect it to happen.”

Prediction: 12th

Preston 5/1 (relegation odds)

Last Season: A strange old year for PNE.

Following their return from League One in 2015, Simon Grayson and later Alex Neil had both done good work here, putting together effective teams which stabilised and consolidated North End in the Championship. The prospects of going further and doing more than that, however, are limited for many of the same reasons ours are – Deepdale is a much more up-to-date and modern stadium than Loftus Road, but its hospitality facilities down one side remain perpetually unfinished and the average gate had hovered around 12,000 people for years. Owner Trevor Hemmings was often accused of lacking ambition, but his money propped up ongoing losses and then he passed away. Grayson eventually got poached away by Sunderland, and although North End sacked Neil after four years he too ended up at the Stadium of Light. It had just started to feel a little bit stagnant.

Last summer brought with it an unusual wave of optimism. A creative marketing and pricing campaign brought in vastly increased season ticket sales (fancy that), and home games followed the recent trend for big flag parades. In Ryan Lowe they hired a progressive, highly rated young manager who’d done wonderful things and won promotions at both Bury and Plymouth despite varying degrees of financial hardship. There was, to a certain extent, a feel good factor around the place.

PNE then embarked on one of the oddest starts to a league campaign ever seen. Five of their first six Championship games finished 0-0. After a dozen games they’d scored four goals, but also only conceded four (and two of those in the same game against Sheff Utd). Things did start to flow a little bit after that – seven wins from 11 – and although there was a nightmarish 4-2 loss at bitter near neighbours Blackpool in there, they also won 4-1 at Ewood Park in fine style straight after the World Cup break to push towards the play-offs. Unfortunately, they then became QPR’s first victim in seven, the only team we beat under Neil Critchley, and our only win in 20 games. Lowly Huddersfield also won at Deepdale that week. In fact they failed to win any of six home games, conceding four on their own patch to Millwall and Norwich.

What Preston have done well in recent years is play the Premier League loan market. Everton’s hairy Love Islander Tom Cannon arrived in January, scored eight goals in 19 games, and they put together six quick wins in nine matches, including comprehensive revenge at Loftus Road, to move off into midtable. More questions than answers though, about this team and this manager.

Ins >>> Mads Frokjaer-Jensen, 23, AM, Odense, £1m >>> Jack Whatmough, 26, CB, Wigan, Free >>> Duane Holmes, 28, AM, Huddersfield, Undisclosed >>> Will Keane, 30, CF, Wigan, Undisclosed >>> Layton Stewart, 20, CF, Liverpool, Undisclosed >>> Calvin Ramsay, 19, RB, Liverpool, Loan

Outs >>> Daniel Johnson, 30, CM, Stoke, Free >>> James Pradic, 18, GK, Bamber Bridge, Loan >>> Josh Onomah, 26, CM, Released >>> Matthew Olosunde, 25, RB, Released

Manager: Ryan Lowe Maybe it was Stephen Schumacher all along?

This Season: While there was begrudging respect for Ben Pearson’s travelling shithouse circus, Daniel Johnson always plays well against us, and Ben Whiteman truly is the one who got away for QPR’s recruitment team, by and large the best Preston players against us in recent years have been loans – Anthony Gordon and his many celebrated birthdays, Cameron Archer, Daniel Iversen, Sepp van den Berg, Alvaro Fernadez etc. When they do good, they use the loan pen; when they do bad, it’s when those loanees don’t come back. Gordon, Archer and Iversen all used the Deepdale springboard to bigger and better things, and the team was worse off without them. Occasionally, such as with Newcastle keeper Freddie Woodman, they are able to fill their positions with a good permanent signing. But more often I seem to sit here each summer and suck my teeth about Preston’s prospects if they can’t either get their Archer-type from the season before back, or find his equivalent. It can feel like borrowing players from the league above, and some very sound managerial appointments, cover up a multitude of other incompetence and corner cutting at a club run by Peter Ridsdale.

That’s the case again this season. They looked to be sagging badly through last winter until Everton’s Cannon turned up and, although the feminist’s friend Ched Evans and Dane Emil Riis are to come back and join the attack after horrendous long term injuries, replacing him or bringing him back looks to be job one, two and three. So much so Ridsdale is reportedly considering sanctioning Everton’s desired loan fee of a cool £1m – this time next year the money’s gone, so is Cannon, and you’re back at square one, but it’s perhaps testament to just how concerned Preston are about what they’ve got without him. Will Keane looks a fairly desperate pick up to me.

There are better signings elsewhere. We’ll see what becomes of their latest £1m Scandi, Odense’s Mads Frokjaer-Jensen, but picking Jack Whatmough up from Wigan amidst a flurry of other suitors, including ourselves, is excellent business on a free. Assuming he can refrain from shagging the club’s podcast host this time that is – we don’t have these problems with Paul Finney.

We’ll place them low down, but as ever two or three loan additions late in the window once Premier league squads are named will quickly change all that.

Local Knowledge — Josh McLoughlin @Josh_McLoughlin "It was a rollercoaster of season. We started off with seven clean sheets in a row but only managed to pick up two wins in that time. Once we started conceded it looked worrying. Our home form was dreadful too around the turn of the year. We lost six home games in a row. At halftime in the home match with Wigan Athletic we were 1-0 down and Deepdale was toxic. I didn’t see Ryan Lowe recovering from that. We managed to win the game 2-1 and turned a corner.

"Suddenly we went on a run of five wins in six and we were just outside the play-offs on goal difference. We headed to Millwall knowing a win would take us into the top six. Unfortunately, when it’s in our hands and we get that close we always seem to crumble. We didn’t win any of our last five. We finished 12th yet only six points off the play-offs. A missed opportunity in what was a very open Championship.

"Lowe’s performance has been very mixed, but to be fair to him it hasn’t been the easiest of jobs to take on. Until this summer he hadn’t spent any money on a transfer fee. His hands are tied in many respects. He’s been held hostage by his own overzealous promises and claims but he’s probably realised that now. He’s still only five seasons into his managerial career and he’s only had one of those at this level. This is the biggest transfer window he’s had in terms of shaping his squad. It’s going to be a tough season for us though after losing some key players and loan stars as well. If he left tomorrow, I wouldn’t be too bothered but I’m willing to back him this season

"The signings we’ve made have been quite interesting. Calvin Ramsay on loan from Liverpool finally gives us a solution for right wing back. But he arrives after a lengthy injury. Mads Frøkjær-Jensen could be the joker in the pack. Bought from Odense, Denmark he will fill the number ten void left by Daniel Johnson who has moved on to Stoke City after eight years at Deepdale. Early signs are promising for the Dane. Duane Holmes comes in from Huddersfield Town. I’ve liked what I’ve seen in the past, particularly at Derby County from him. How he fits into a crowded midfield remains to be seen. Will Keane on a cheap deal from Wigan ticks a box for us as we are lacking in fit strikers to start the season with. Ched Evans and Emil Riis won’t be available till September. Layton Stewart on a permanent deal from Liverpool is an intriguing one. A striker, 20 years-old on a three-year deal. That could pay off massively for us. He’ll find himself with plenty of chances this season. Still need a couple more, hopefully Tom Cannon ends up back at the club.

"A couple of weeks ago I thought we’d be in a relegation battle. But I’m happy with the signing we’ve made. We should have enough to keep our heads above water. I think there is worse teams than us, and teams heavily hindered by their financial worries. Unless we strike gold in the loan market again I doubt we’ll be able to flirt with the play-offs again. Need the likes of Alan Browne and Emil Riis to step up again this season if we’re to sustain any sort of push. But think we’ll finish mid to lower table.”

Prediction: 19th Pending further loan arrivals.

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