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LFW Message Board Glossary 17:05 - Aug 29 with 40966 viewsNorthernr

"The pay-as-you-play deal" - whenever a potential signing is rumoured or suggested who is obviously a) too fcking old, b) too fcking expensive, c) qualifying for a hip replacement on the NHS, d) one of life's genuine arseholes who's blown up every dressing room he's ever been in, instead of dismissing the idea out of hand one is duty bound to suggest a pay-as-you-play deal. That he wouldn't accept this, and that this doesn't really exist, is irrelevant.

"Digging down" - whenever discussing the merits of a new stadium, of trying to redevelop the one we already have, one is duty bound to suggest digging Loftus Road down into the ground. The fact this would also dig it down into the water table and effectively create a world leading water polo venue for a good six months a year is also irrelevant. Will also accept "building out over South Africa Road" and "adding a revolving restaurant".

"Les was crap to start with as well" - whenever debating the ability or otherwise of a new striker, due consideration must always be given to the fact Les Ferdinand was total dog sht when he first got here. Please see three years of Conor Washington debate, or 17 pages (and counting) on Lyndon Dykes' move to Birmingham.

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LFW Message Board Glossary on 09:37 - Aug 30 with 2627 viewsPadulas_Shampoo

LFW Message Board Glossary on 09:34 - Aug 30 by Konk

CHELSEA. All Chelsea players are shi t. Even the good ones. Chelsea have 86 players in their squad; they are all shi t and on 10 year contracts. Chelsea will go bust soon (they won’t). When England get knocked out of a tournament or draw away in qualifying, it is always the fault of Mason Mount, Kerry Dixon, or Frank Lampard. Even if they're not in the squad. If Terry and Lampard had been playing for Watford, they’d have been nowhere near the England squad. Orient were bigger than Chelsea until Abramovich came along. I work with a Chelsea fan who has never heard of John Bumstead, Colin Pates, or David Lee.

Their ground is shi t, their badge is sh it, their kit is sh it, and their nickname is sh it. Their nursery rhyme song ‘One man went to mow’ is shi t, but not as shi t as their ‘Celery’ song, which is absolute sloppy dogsh it. They only got 8,000 v Southampton and 6,000 of those were Saints fans. David Mellor is a cu nt. Dennis Wise is a cu nt. John Terry is an absolute cu nt. Ashley Cole is a cu nt, and Frank LeBeuf is a total cun t. Ken Bates looked like Captain Birdseye. John Terry's mum nicked four grands worth of tube socks from Sports Direct, and she's a cu nt too.


Not sure you're getting this thread Konk - That's just a list of facts.
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LFW Message Board Glossary on 09:50 - Aug 30 with 2553 viewslassel

I’m guilty as charged on this one but ‘he just needs one to go in off his arse’.

The last time i can remember a goalshy striker having one go in and spark a run of goals was Patrick ‘Wu-Tang’ Agyemang….
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LFW Message Board Glossary on 09:57 - Aug 30 with 2518 viewsLanhoop

LFW Message Board Glossary on 09:34 - Aug 30 by Konk

CHELSEA. All Chelsea players are shi t. Even the good ones. Chelsea have 86 players in their squad; they are all shi t and on 10 year contracts. Chelsea will go bust soon (they won’t). When England get knocked out of a tournament or draw away in qualifying, it is always the fault of Mason Mount, Kerry Dixon, or Frank Lampard. Even if they're not in the squad. If Terry and Lampard had been playing for Watford, they’d have been nowhere near the England squad. Orient were bigger than Chelsea until Abramovich came along. I work with a Chelsea fan who has never heard of John Bumstead, Colin Pates, or David Lee.

Their ground is shi t, their badge is sh it, their kit is sh it, and their nickname is sh it. Their nursery rhyme song ‘One man went to mow’ is shi t, but not as shi t as their ‘Celery’ song, which is absolute sloppy dogsh it. They only got 8,000 v Southampton and 6,000 of those were Saints fans. David Mellor is a cu nt. Dennis Wise is a cu nt. John Terry is an absolute cu nt. Ashley Cole is a cu nt, and Frank LeBeuf is a total cun t. Ken Bates looked like Captain Birdseye. John Terry's mum nicked four grands worth of tube socks from Sports Direct, and she's a cu nt too.


Any chance you were copying the Wikipedia entry there?

Speaking of which... 'His Wikipedia entry says he's QPR so he must be coming'.
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LFW Message Board Glossary on 10:12 - Aug 30 with 2439 viewsSonofpugwash

"Flat roofed pubs"
WEll they'll soon be gone as will all pubs under this puritanical Cromwellian government.What's after that,a return to the appointment of a 21st century version of a Witchfinder General?

Poll: Dykes - love him or hate him?

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LFW Message Board Glossary on 10:16 - Aug 30 with 2460 viewscolinallcars

LFW Message Board Glossary on 10:12 - Aug 30 by Sonofpugwash

"Flat roofed pubs"
WEll they'll soon be gone as will all pubs under this puritanical Cromwellian government.What's after that,a return to the appointment of a 21st century version of a Witchfinder General?


When my Euromillions comes up, I think I'll buy a block of flats and turn 'em into pubs.
1
LFW Message Board Glossary on 10:22 - Aug 30 with 2437 viewsPhilmyRs

"Kakay's fine when he plays in a back 3..." I beg to differ.

"Should have kept Barbet" conveniently forgetting he was only really good for us in a back 3 and pretty poor when played in a 4.
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LFW Message Board Glossary on 10:31 - Aug 30 with 2407 viewsBoston

Warm bottle of Carlsberg.

Is the Blue & White Bar open?

Poll: Thank God The Seaons Over.

0
LFW Message Board Glossary on 10:33 - Aug 30 with 2399 viewsBoston

Central Line closed for...

Poll: Thank God The Seaons Over.

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LFW Message Board Glossary on 10:35 - Aug 30 with 2385 viewsFredManRave

LFW Message Board Glossary on 08:31 - Aug 30 by DannyPaddox

Newly fitted kitchens can cure your erectile dysfunction.
Visit: newlyittedkitchenscancureyourerectiledysfunction.com


Ironically, the website is down.

I've got the Power.
Poll: MOM from todays Teasing at Teesside?

7
LFW Message Board Glossary on 10:37 - Aug 30 with 2365 viewsFredManRave

"Why don't you try calling the Box Office" in reply to a post where's it's absoutely bleedin obvious that that's what needs to be done, but the poster, unbelievably, hadn't thought about doing that.

We can be a polite bunch, at times.

I've got the Power.
Poll: MOM from todays Teasing at Teesside?

4
LFW Message Board Glossary on 10:40 - Aug 30 with 2350 viewsaston_hoop

We're only ever a 'nasty bastard' away from a good side

Poll: Moses Odubajo - Stick or Twist?

2
LFW Message Board Glossary on 10:44 - Aug 30 with 2307 viewsBoston

Anyone else lost commentary?
[Post edited 30 Aug 10:45]

Poll: Thank God The Seaons Over.

4
LFW Message Board Glossary on 10:46 - Aug 30 with 2294 viewsCateLeBonR

Chuckles Woolmer
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LFW Message Board Glossary on 10:48 - Aug 30 with 2235 viewsSonofpugwash

Rugby League/Union.
a.k.a Ad hoc Facial Reconstructive Surgery.

Poll: Dykes - love him or hate him?

0
LFW Message Board Glossary on 10:54 - Aug 30 with 2178 viewsterryb

I've not read through the whole thread yet, so apologies if this has been said.

Forest (or any other club/player) is guilty of (you name it). This will mean a fine & points deduction for Queens Park Rangers.
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LFW Message Board Glossary on 10:56 - Aug 30 with 2171 viewsGaryHaddock

This feels like group therapy.
2
LFW Message Board Glossary on 11:07 - Aug 30 with 2127 viewsCroydonCaptJack

Great thread.

Not strictly a glossary here but in the same vein -

missing from the terraces now ' you long streak of p i s s' (for anyone tall) and the wonderful hybrid word -
S h i t c u n t (for anyone deserving, even if not tall)
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LFW Message Board Glossary on 11:13 - Aug 30 with 2094 viewsFredManRave

"Signed on a "x" year contract". RIP.

I've got the Power.
Poll: MOM from todays Teasing at Teesside?

0
LFW Message Board Glossary on 11:16 - Aug 30 with 2076 viewsFredManRave

LFW Message Board Glossary on 10:54 - Aug 30 by terryb

I've not read through the whole thread yet, so apologies if this has been said.

Forest (or any other club/player) is guilty of (you name it). This will mean a fine & points deduction for Queens Park Rangers.


Have to ask, is the first one a genuine comment or an addition to the Glossary.

Either way, it's a great post.

I've got the Power.
Poll: MOM from todays Teasing at Teesside?

8
LFW Message Board Glossary on 11:35 - Aug 30 with 1978 viewsterryb

LFW Message Board Glossary on 11:16 - Aug 30 by FredManRave

Have to ask, is the first one a genuine comment or an addition to the Glossary.

Either way, it's a great post.


It was meant as a genuine comment, but it definitely should be in the glossary!

That means I was guilty in using it in this thread
3
LFW Message Board Glossary on 11:57 - Aug 30 with 1899 viewspeterlund_dk

"His wife started following QPR Official on Instagram, so it's a done deal."
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LFW Message Board Glossary on 11:58 - Aug 30 with 1892 viewsHooping_Mad

Has it been announced? It's is a Thursday.

Chairman of the Junior Hoilett appreciation society
Poll: What's the next move?

1
LFW Message Board Glossary on 12:13 - Aug 30 with 1792 viewsBoston

Source?

Poll: Thank God The Seaons Over.

4
LFW Message Board Glossary on 12:37 - Aug 30 with 1736 viewsSuperhoop83

LFW Message Board Glossary on 07:46 - Aug 30 by Northernr

The earlier in the season you declare a must win game, the more LFW it is.
Hull City on the opening day 2014 current record holder. One day presumably to be beaten by the final friendly of the summer.


Whoever they were, they were right about that Hull game.

Suffering since 1978.

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LFW Message Board Glossary on 12:49 - Aug 30 with 1704 viewsNorthernr

LFW Message Board Glossary on 12:37 - Aug 30 by Superhoop83

Whoever they were, they were right about that Hull game.


That response should be in the glossary on its own.

We went down last, eight points adrift.
They went down third bottom, three points adrift.

If we'd beaten Hull 86-0 on the first day of the season it would have made the following differences.

We would have gone down third bottom, five points adrift.
They would have gone down bottom, six points adrift.

This post has been edited by an administrator
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