Scunthorpe United. One of only three league sides with a swear word in their name. Assuming of course that you count Arse as a swear word. So we gave you Arsenal, and let's not forget the other one Tranmere Areshit. And of course the beauty of the last one is that even if you were slightly dyslexic you may still retain the swear word in there - Tranmere Arsehit. Ouch, painful!

Anyway, enough about our Scouse pals and onto the job at hand. Scunthorpe and everybody's favourite manager Brian Laws. The man who got them promoted last season and looks more than capable of taking them straight back down again in spectacular fashion. Must be mates with John Hollins - wonder if Scunny's squad was good enough last summer. Wibble.

Last time we played the Scunts I mentioned about Laws and the English flag and was roundly criticised for doing so by their fans. Therefore I will make no reference to it in this preview nowhere. Nothing about English flags and kissing in centre circle. Nothing about inciting hostilities. Nothing. Not anywhere. Nowhere to be seen. Better now Scunts?

Now bearing that in mind I have no idea why people don't like Brian Laws. He has always struck me as an upstanding citizen of the modern game. Always ready to take defeat on the chin with minimal fuss and an acceptance that his side was beaten by the better team. Never have I known him moan, throw chicken wings at people or lose his temper. I believe he is also the kind of person who makes rules that benefit us all in society and ensure that our local streets are safer. Sorry? What's that you say? Oh sorry, Bri Laws? I thought you said Bylaws. My mistake. On that basis Brian Laws is a (blankety blank cheque book and pen!)

Someone once told me that Scunthorpe was a very nice place. I am yet to see anything that backs it up. The smell of fish blows down from Grimsby, a Google search shows nothing of interest. Indeed do a Google Image Search on "Scunthorpe Attractions" and see what comes up (Note to Scunny fans here - do the same search on "Swansea Attractions" before you make some 'non witty' retort - Indeed do Birkenhead attractions as well and then see just how much of a problem you have in Scunthorpe)

And so onto the team news. As Kenny Jackett looks over his walking wounded somewhere he has to find eleven players to make the team. It's hard to see too many changes in personnel from the 16 on duty against Bradford in midweek which is good. Or bad. Depending on your mood swing. Or maybe even swings. Who knows.

For them its eleven players. Nine of them average and then Sharp and Keogh. Good players but Kevin "One Hand, Two Hands, Shove" Austin will deal with them. No problems. At All. Ever. Super Kev. Solid as a rock ahead of Games Keeper Willy (who has changed hugely since he was in the Simpsons)

I really should stop now and leave you good people to it, Enjoy the game if you're there. Enjoy the radio if that's your method of keeping in communication. And if you're watching on Ceefax - get a grip will you. Mind you it was a better alternative than the John Hollins years!!!!

Who are we again?

Nick Morgan looks ahead with Scunthorpe's One(s) To Watch Matthew Phillips meets The Man In the Middle

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PREDICTIONS SO FAR 22:05 16 Feb 2006