| Corny Joke Warning 16:56 - Aug 29 with 869984 views | Boston |
What vehicle do electricians prefer to drive?
A Volts Wagon. |  |
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| Corny Joke Warning on 02:15 - Apr 15 with 6971 views | Boston |
Me and my mate knuckles was walking down the road
"Fck me" say Knucks, "there's a gravestone 'ere for a bloke who was a 118"
"Really, say"s I, "what's 'is name?"
"err, Miles from London". [Post edited 15 Apr 2020 2:17]
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| Corny Joke Warning on 09:27 - Apr 16 with 6866 views | Esox_Lucius |
I'm selling a stalking kit on eBay,
It's got six people watching it... |  |
| The grass is always greener. |
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| Corny Joke Warning on 01:44 - Apr 17 with 6808 views | Boston |
There's a rumour out there that I've got a 12" cock.
And it's true.
I started it. [Post edited 17 Apr 2020 1:48]
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| Corny Joke Warning on 11:49 - Apr 17 with 6722 views | johncharles |
| Corny Joke Warning on 01:52 - Apr 15 by Boston |
Got nicked down in Acton in 1978
Old Bill asked me if I had a police record
Yeah, I said, just the one
Walking on the Moon. [Post edited 15 Apr 2020 1:53]
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Reminds me of an announcement at LR. We have a message from the Police
Was it in a bottle ? Shouts a nearby supporter |  |
| Strong and stable my arse. |
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| Corny Joke Warning on 11:51 - Apr 17 with 6718 views | johncharles |
What’s the definition of a Mistress
Someone between a Master and a Matress. | |
| Strong and stable my arse. |
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| Corny Joke Warning on 16:03 - Apr 20 with 6614 views | Esox_Lucius |
Why are dogs so great at floating?
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because they are good boys. | |
| The grass is always greener. |
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| Corny Joke Warning on 16:15 - Apr 20 with 6605 views | kensalriser |
| Corny Joke Warning on 01:52 - Apr 15 by Boston |
Got nicked down in Acton in 1978
Old Bill asked me if I had a police record
Yeah, I said, just the one
Walking on the Moon. [Post edited 15 Apr 2020 1:53]
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You must have had them stumped with that one, Walking On The Moon didn't come out until 1979. |  |
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| Corny Joke Warning on 17:08 - Apr 20 with 6581 views | johncharles |
Not strictly a joke but... just come and switched the tele on. Escape to Chateau. They’re inspecting some damage to the Chateau walls. Wooooo look she says, you can stick your fingers into the crack.
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| Strong and stable my arse. |
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| Corny Joke Warning on 17:33 - Apr 20 with 6561 views | johann28 |
Everybody knows that Albert Einstein was a genius. But not many know that his brother Frank was an absolute monster. |  | | |
| Corny Joke Warning on 00:51 - Apr 21 with 6490 views | Boston |
What's the difference between a magicians wand and a policeman's truncheon?
Ones for cunning stunts.... | |
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| Corny Joke Warning on 00:56 - Apr 21 with 6486 views | Boston |
What's the difference between a lost golf ball and a mounted policeman?
Ones a hunt on a course... | |
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| Corny Joke Warning on 09:55 - Apr 21 with 6422 views | Esox_Lucius |
Arnold Schwarzenegger was visited by his mother a couple of weekends ago and he began to complain to her that she hadn't brought him any Easter eggs.
She said "I thought you didn't like Easter Arnold"
He said "I still love easter". | |
| The grass is always greener. |
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| Corny Joke Warning on 14:01 - Apr 21 with 6386 views | Lblock |
| Corny Joke Warning on 09:55 - Apr 21 by Esox_Lucius |
Arnold Schwarzenegger was visited by his mother a couple of weekends ago and he began to complain to her that she hadn't brought him any Easter eggs.
She said "I thought you didn't like Easter Arnold"
He said "I still love easter". |
You need to add a "baby" on the end of that one  |  |
| Cherish and enjoy life.... this ain't no dress rehearsal |
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| Corny Joke Warning on 09:06 - Apr 23 with 6322 views | Esox_Lucius |
| Corny Joke Warning on 14:01 - Apr 21 by Lblock |
You need to add a "baby" on the end of that one |
Who calls their mother baby?  | |
| The grass is always greener. |
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| Corny Joke Warning on 09:07 - Apr 23 with 6321 views | Esox_Lucius |
Apologies to anyone who felt my joke about herbs and fish was inappropriate.
I now realise there’s a thyme and a plaice for these things. | |
| The grass is always greener. |
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| Corny Joke Warning on 11:12 - Apr 23 with 6301 views | Newhopphoops |
| Corny Joke Warning on 01:52 - Apr 15 by Boston |
Got nicked down in Acton in 1978
Old Bill asked me if I had a police record
Yeah, I said, just the one
Walking on the Moon. [Post edited 15 Apr 2020 1:53]
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"Have you been up before me before?" asked the beak.
"i don't know your honour, when do you normally get up?" |  | | |
| Corny Joke Warning on 23:26 - Apr 24 with 6207 views | bosh67 |
I've just realised that the neck of a Toilet Duck is a straw. |  |
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| Corny Joke Warning on 03:35 - Apr 25 with 6180 views | Boston |
My mate worked for Dunlop for 50 years
He’s retired now. | |
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| Corny Joke Warning on 13:53 - Apr 25 with 6117 views | Esox_Lucius |
Out on my daily night time exercise walk yesterday. I'd been out for about 35 minutes when a police car pulled up a few yards in front of me. An officer got out and kept his distance but asked me my name, age and address.
He then asked where I was between 6 and 11.
I said "Primary School". | |
| The grass is always greener. |
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| Corny Joke Warning on 19:50 - Apr 25 with 6076 views | johann28 |
If you inject someone with disinfectant, would you be charged with a bleach of the peace or domestos violence? | | | |
| Corny Joke Warning on 13:58 - Apr 26 with 6000 views | Esox_Lucius |
Two men have just broken into Tiffany's in London. Police say they were last seen 'Running just as fast as they can, holding on to each others hands, trying to get away into the night’ | |
| The grass is always greener. |
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| Corny Joke Warning on 14:20 - Apr 26 with 5987 views | Esox_Lucius |
I was sat in a restaurant and got hit on the back of the head by a prawn cocktail. I looked round and this bloke shouts, 'That's just for starters!' | |
| The grass is always greener. |
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| Corny Joke Warning on 20:05 - Apr 26 with 8182 views | Boston |
My wife goes ballistic if I mess with her wine
The other day I accidently dropped some fruit into it
Now she's sangria than ever. | |
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| Corny Joke Warning on 20:20 - Apr 26 with 8166 views | Boston |
There's a bloke stealing I-Phones all over London
One of these days he's going to face time. | |
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| Corny Joke Warning on 22:15 - Apr 27 with 8025 views | Esox_Lucius |
I've written some instructions on how to fall down stairs:
Step 1.
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Step 6
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Step 11 | |
| The grass is always greener. |
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